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Shyness is a common human trait that can often hinder one’s ability to express themselves confidently and form meaningful connections with others. Whether it is presenting in front of a crowd, networking at an event, or even striking up a conversation with a stranger, shyness can be a significant barrier in various aspects of life. However, it’s important to remember that shyness is not a permanent characteristic and can be overcome with the right strategies and mindset. In this article, we will explore some effective techniques and tips that can help individuals overcome their shyness and build self-confidence, enabling them to thrive socially and personally. By understanding the root causes of shyness and implementing these practical methods, individuals can embark on a transformative journey towards self-assurance and improved relationships.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 135 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
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Do you often feel awkward when you have to speak in front of a crowd? If yes, you are not alone. Many people around the world are also affected by mild to severe shyness and they are also having a hard time dealing with it. Remember that you can’t come out of your shell overnight. Everything takes time, effort, and of course the desire to change yourself. By reading this article, you are on the right track to getting rid of shyness – for now keep learning.
Steps
Understanding the Nature of Shyness
- Your self-perception is quite poor . This happens when we listen to the negative voices in our heads when evaluating ourselves. It’s hard to stop listening to this voice, but ultimately it’s your voice and you can tell it what to say.
- You have trouble trusting the compliments others give you. Whether you feel that you are beautiful or not, other people can perceive this, and that is why they compliment you. You don’t want to call them liars, do you? Lift your chin up, say “thank you,” and accept the compliment. Don’t try to tell the person who gave you the compliment that they were wrong.
- You are too focused on how you present yourself. This happens when we focus too much on ourselves. Because we spend the whole day trying to adjust our actions to make sure we don’t screw things up, we also assume that other people do the same. We’ll discuss how to turn attention to others if this sounds better to you.
- Others know you as a shy person. Sometimes, when we were kids, we were pretty shy. Unfortunately, everyone relies on this image to treat us similarly to when we were children, even though our personalities have changed radically. Maybe it’s because people put you on this list and you’re just trying to adapt to their mindset. You know, you just have to adapt yourself.
- Whatever your reason, you can get over it. They only exist in your thoughts and thoughts are something you can completely control! That’s right!
- Not every situation makes you shy. You feel pretty good around your family, don’t you? What’s the difference between your family and a stranger? They really aren’t that different – you simply know them better and neither do they. This problem does not arise from you, but from the situation you are facing. This proves that your shyness is not a universal problem, nor is it a problem that happens all the time. Too good.
- Make the list as detailed as possible. “Public speaking” can be a trigger for shyness, but you can talk more about them. Talking to people more powerful than you? Talking to people that you find quite attractive? The more detailed you are, the easier it will be to identify situations and resolve them.
- Don’t worry if you have to step back from time to time; You can work things out slowly, but remember to make an effort to push yourself.
Conquering the Mind
- Ask yourself questions and check the suitability of your reasons.
- You need to practice your public speaking skills to overcome your shyness. Try to see shyness as a cue so you can push yourself to do the opposite of what you normally do when you’re feeling shy. When the crowd makes you feel awkward, you may want to find some quiet place because this has been your default response for a long time but now, whenever you feel shy, When shy, push yourself to do the opposite, for example, talk to people. Of course you will feel completely uncomfortable and negative, but use these emotions as triggers so you can push yourself to try harder. The greater the negative emotion, the more motivating it can be. After you have done this method many times, you will find that these negative emotions are actually your good friends because they will motivate you to push yourself to try harder. more.
- The easiest way to do this is to focus on compassion. [1] X Sources of Research When we feel compassion, empathy, or even empathy for others, we stop focusing on ourselves and start directing all our mental resources to trying to find understand others. Keeping in mind that everyone has to fight some kind of war – big or small (to them they are still pretty big!) – helps us to remember that everyone is worth our attention.
- If this method doesn’t work, think in terms of how you imagine other people think the same way. If you’re worried about your appearance, you’d assume that other people are also paying attention to how you look (hint: they really don’t). Stereotypical thinking is contagious; Once you start, you won’t be able to stop.
- Focus all your senses to visualize things as realistically as possible. Think about being happy and relaxed. How do you feel? What are you doing? This way, when the time comes, you’ll always be ready.
- This method also helps trick your brain . Scientific research has shown that good posture (head up, shoulders back, and arms outstretched) makes us feel empowered, confident, and – most of all – relieves stress. straight. [2] X Research Sources And you don’t even need to know more reasons!
- Record your voice as you talk to yourself. It may sound silly, but it’s easy to spot patterns, when and why you stop talking, the moment when you think you’re talking too loud but you’re actually speaking quite softly, etc. At the beginning , you will feel like an actor (and do the things that an actor needs to do to get into the role), but over time it will become your habit. You know, practice will help you form a habit!
- Seriously, if your relatives or friends are pretty confident and outgoing people, consult them on this article. They might say things like, “Yeah, yeah, I’ve completely made myself aware of having to be more open-minded” or “I used to be pretty bad myself. I really did. it takes a lot of effort to change it.” You are just in a different stage of transformation than they are.
- When you focus on this issue, you will realize that you can be of great help to any group of people or any situation. Your knowledge and skills are essential to improving any problem, conversation, or situation. Recognizing this will help you to want to speak for yourself.
- Your strength can give you an advantage. If you are a good listener, you will be able to easily tell when someone is having a problem and needs to express their feelings. In this situation, they are the ones who need you . This situation does not contain any threat element. So ask them out! You will notice that they are “fuming” with anger – can you listen to them?
- In social groups, all roles need to be filled. Even if you don’t notice, you have a role to play in the team. No position is better than another – knowing your own worth, no matter what, helps to motivate the whole team.
- Day after day, the famous students in the school are trying their best to maintain their popularity. They are trying to adapt and become relevant and successful. Good for them, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be happy or that their popularity will last forever. Trying to compete for ephemeral things won’t get you very far. You shouldn’t brag about your accomplishments – high school will end, college will end, and what will you get in the end? A few rants and a funny crown.
Conquering Social Situations
- It’s not like you’re trying to impress people with your comprehensive and deep understanding. You are just participating in the story. People aren’t looking for judgment or opinion from you, so keep things light and friendly. A simple statement such as “God, I wouldn’t want to have to wear Boehner shoes” can stop the conversation from reaching a dead end.
- The first stage is the one that opens with simple statements. Often appropriate social stories.
- The second stage is the introduction. Introduce yourself.
- The third stage is to find commonalities, some topics that both of you can discuss.
- The fourth stage is concluding, one person will notify the other person that they will have to end the conversation, and then sum things up, or possibly exchange information. “It’s been a pleasure talking to you – I never thought of Walt in such a way. Here’s my business card – we’ll see you soon!”
- Add details to basic sentences. If someone asks for your home address, it’s easy for you to respond in a way that brings the conversation to a standstill in a state of utter embarrassment, feeling like you’ve completely failed. Instead of answering “On Nguyen Thai Hoc Street”, say “On Nguyen Thai Hoc Street, next to the delicious bakery”. [3] X Source of Research This way, the other party can further discuss the issue, helping to keep the story going. Instead of them replying with “Ah, I see,” they’ll say, “Oh my god, have you tried their chocolate croissants?!”
- Get started quickly, each conversation should last only a few minutes, This way you won’t stress yourself out and it will probably help you feel less anxious – when you know that the conversation The story will be over in 2 minutes, everything will be no longer scary. Then you can spend time and energy with the people you love. Indeed, this is the most valuable time for your efforts! [3] X Research Sources
- Think about the people you want to reach. What do their bodies and facial expressions say? Now think about the people you don’t want to reach. How do you sit – what position are you in?
- Humans are social animals. People in solitary confinement will attest to this. Any one of us is looking for interaction and self-affirmation. You’re not trying to fool them – you’re just trying to make their day come alive and better.
- Am I breathing or not? If you can breathe slowly, your body will enter a state of relaxation.
- Am I relaxing or not? If not, move your body into a position where you can feel more comfortable.
- Am I open-minded? You may be using cognitive signals in your own way of thinking. Being open can change how others see your role on the team.
Challenge Yourself
- Focus on small daily achievements, then gradually become bolder. Even the act of asking a stranger for the time is seen as a daunting task. Don’t think these little opportunities won’t be worth your while – they’re huge! From these little things, you will be able to speak in public easily later on, so slow down!
- You don’t have to take the same actions as others. And if you do, you won’t be able to stick with it and you won’t be able to find people you love and have the same personality as you. Why would you want to waste your time?! If the pub isn’t the right place for you, don’t worry. Practice your social skills at a coffee shop, at a small gathering, or at work. These locations will be more suitable for your life.
- Starting from the first place on the list, remember? It could be talking to a sales girl, chatting with someone at the bus stop, or chatting with the guy sitting next to you at work. Most people aren’t good at starting a conversation (do you know why? Because they’re just like you), but your chance to start a conversation is still there.
- The more you practice, the more you will notice that people are quite approachable and friendly. Occasionally you’ll run into rather strange people, who are suspicious and wonder why you’re smiling at them – think of them as interesting people for you to tease a bit. Plus, smiling will make others wonder why you’re smiling – now you’re the one playing with their mind instead of the other way around!
- With time, you will gradually be able to do this more easily. Do you remember how difficult it was when you first learned to drive or ride a bike? Similar to social interaction; You just haven’t practiced enough. After a while, you’ll notice that you’ve “got through it all”. Nothing can stop you. Too great.
- There is no set time for you to complete this process. For many people, the problem will not be solved until they suddenly become aware of things. For many others, this is a six-month process. No matter how long it takes, remember to always believe in yourself. You will soon succeed.
Advice
- Remember that shyness is an emotional state, not a fixed personality. You have the ability to change your shy feelings through your desires and actions.
- “Fake it until you make it” – is a pretty good adage. Pretend to be confident and after a while you will realize that you have actually become confident. However, you need to remember that pushing yourself too hard in situations where you don’t feel comfortable will only add strength to your problem. Shyness and social anxiety are traits that you learn through your attitude and you need to put yourself in more comfortable situations. [5] X Research Sources
- Fear and excitement have the same chemical, adrenaline. If you focus on the positive aspects of the event, speech, activity, etc. and think of your stress as something you look forward to, you will be able to turn fear into a reality. Enthusiasm helps you to enjoy your bold personality. Many bold, persuasive people have the same level of stress as you do in the first few moments when they are faced with social situations but later interpret them as excitement and Share it with everyone around. Stage fright can be a great performance if you can change the way you think about your own emotions.
- Frequently say “yes”. This can be quite difficult at first. Let’s start with the little things, like saying hello to a classmate or the like; The point here is that once you accept to do things that you don’t normally do, you can have pretty amazing moments. Plus, you’ll feel better about yourself because you’re pretty daring enough to be able to do that.
- Know that everyone becomes shy to some degree. The difference is in their level of shyness. You can boost your confidence by practicing your communication skills and by developing new topics to discuss with others.
- Talk slowly. Speaking slowly will help you think about the topic you need to talk about, as well as help you increase the power of your words.
- Make a list of the things you love about yourself and stick them on the wall in your room. It can help boost your confidence before you leave the house.
- Overcome stage fright by imagining that you are someone else, such as a certain celebrity you admire. Visualize yourself as that person until you feel more comfortable appearing on stage.
- Being shy isn’t a bad thing, but neither is being bold!
- Do not hesitate to seek help from professionals; Support groups, counselors, and therapies can also help. Sometimes, shyness is the cause of other underlying health problems, and it’s important to be aware of this. Social Anxiety Disorder often begins with “extreme shyness,” so make sure you’re aware of the problem you’re dealing with.
- Join clubs or activities that you enjoy such as group work or a sport, but if you don’t like competition, join a more cooperative club such as writing or painting. Do your best, and there’s a good chance you’ll get along well with the other members of the club, too.
- Believe in yourself and do your best. Thinking that you will overcome your fear will give you a confidence boost.
Warning
- Usually it’s just your way of thinking, you don’t have to be shy, just take a deep breath and hold your head up high.
- Sometimes shyness is only temporary – many people develop confidence and become bolder with age. You shouldn’t try to change yourself unless you’re really unhappy with yourself; With time, you will probably get rid of your shy personality.
- If you’re the rather shy celebrity in your family or circle of friends, beware of harmless teasing. Some people will be uncomfortable when you change yourself beyond what they normally think of you. Let’s ignore them. They mean well, but don’t let them scare you so much that you have to go back to your own shell!
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 135 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 93,693 times.
Do you often feel awkward when you have to speak in front of a crowd? If yes, you are not alone. Many people around the world are also affected by mild to severe shyness and they are also having a hard time dealing with it. Remember that you can’t come out of your shell overnight. Everything takes time, effort, and of course the desire to change yourself. By reading this article, you are on the right track to getting rid of shyness – for now keep learning.
In conclusion, overcoming shyness is a journey that requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and consistent effort. It is important to first recognize and acknowledge one’s shyness, as well as understand the underlying causes and triggers. From there, adopting certain strategies such as developing positive self-talk, taking small steps outside of one’s comfort zone, and seeking support from friends or therapists can greatly contribute to overcoming shyness. It is important to remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and progress may come at different paces. Patience, persistence, and a belief in one’s ability to change are key factors in this process. By gradually facing fears, challenging negative thoughts, and practicing self-acceptance, individuals can ultimately break free from the constraints of shyness and embrace personal growth and social connection.
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