How to Overcome Self-Deprecation

We all face moments of insecurity, at one time or another; it is a natural response to judge whether our recklessness will end in success or failure. Supposedly when it comes to deciding whether to jump over the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle, a lack of confidence is a virtue. However, in everyday life, being too self-conscious to try even the smallest things, such as talking frankly with friends, will limit you from enjoying the time you live in. Life is constantly changing and what is stable today may break or disappear tomorrow. But if you give yourself strength, you can always rebuild, rise above all else, move forward with your will, and find happiness everywhere you go. Follow Step 1 to get started on the road to overcoming self-doubt.

Table of Contents

Change Your Perspective

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/d/d1/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-1-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-1- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/d/d1/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-1-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome- Insecurity-Step-1-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Practice being objective. If you feel like you can’t achieve something, step away from yourself for a moment and imagine yourself as a completely different person. Think about what you would say to anyone in your situation. For example, if you’re nervous about going to a party where you don’t know many people, or going to a job interview, think about the advice you would share with someone in the same situation. If you look at things this way, you will see nothing to fear and you will succeed when you put your whole heart into what you do.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/22/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-2- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/22/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome- Insecurity-Step-2-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Write about your fears. Write down all your worries, and any triggers that make you feel like you can’t achieve anything. Reread them and ask yourself how much of it makes sense, and how much is the product of negative thinking. Take time to really think about the roots of your fears – whether it’s making a fool of yourself, letting your parents down, or not having the life you want. Calculate how many fears you can handle, and how many positive solutions you can think of to all your worries.

It’s completely natural to fear failure or to appear bad. Everyone, at one time or another, has such fears. However, it’s not natural to feel like you can’t get anything done because of fear of harassment.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/4/41/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-3- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/4/41/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome- Insecurity-Step-3-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Remember your successes. Instead of focusing on times when you embarrassed yourself, failed at something, or looked silly, take a long time to look back at the times when you did a great job. Think about the good results you got in school, the wonderful friendships you maintained, or when your charismatic sense of humor made a group of people laugh. The more you remember the great moments, the more confident you will be and more in the future.

It can also help to write down your successes as soon as they happen. Keep a success diary on your desk and fill it with proud accomplishments and happy memories. When you feel like you can’t do anything and can’t do anything right, you can re-read this list and remember how amazing and capable you are.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/6/64/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-4- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/64/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome- Insecurity-Step-4-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” And be honest with your answers. If you have a new hairstyle and some people don’t like it, it’s not the end of the world. If you really hate this hairstyle, you know what – your hair will grow back. Don’t let silly worries stop you from trying something out of the ordinary. When you realize that the worst isn’t necessarily so bad, you’ll be more motivated and willing to take risks.

If you can’t tell when your answers seem ridiculous and ridiculous, try sharing them with an intuitive person you trust. They’ll tell you if that worst-case scenario could happen or if you’re just overthinking it.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/22/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-5-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-5- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/22/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-5-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome- Insecurity-Step-5-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Now ask yourself, “What is the best thing that could happen?” This is something that people with low self-esteem rarely do. Let’s say you’re nervous about your first date with the person you’ve been matched with. The best thing that can happen is that the two of you quickly become close, starting a relationship that is both meaningful and satisfying. That’s already a good reason for you to go on a date, isn’t it? While the best doesn’t always happen, when they are weighed, you’ll approach things with a positive mindset.

Before you do something new, you can write down the best things that could happen, or the best three, so that they don’t fade from your mind as you go to work.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/0b/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-6- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0b/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome- Insecurity-Step-6-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Remember your positive qualities. To maintain a sense of confidence, you need to think about your positive qualities. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself, from friendliness to intelligence, and think about them as you interact with others. People with low self-esteem tend to focus only on the worst part of themselves, leading to them feeling unhappy with who they really are.

When you only look at the negative things about yourself, you will only focus on them and forget about the positive qualities. If you’ve been too hard on yourself for a long time, it’ll be hard at first to think of what’s valuable about yourself.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/89/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-7- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/89/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome- Insecurity-Step-7-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Practice positive self-talk. Recognizing negative conversations with yourself is hard when you’ve been doing so for a long time. If you always tell yourself that you are a loser, a failure, that you can’t do anything right, you will surely feel that way forever. Instead, practice self-talk about your positives so you can start working with a healthy mindset and a desire to do well.

One effective exercise to help you become more comfortable with positive self-talk and refrain from torturing yourself is to say two really nice things about yourself with every negative thing you bring up. They don’t have to be related.
- For example, if you burned your tongue because you didn’t wait long enough for the coffee to cool down and cursed yourself, “You idiot! What a dumb move,” you have to immediately remind yourself, “But I am pretty good at tennis, and I have a great sense of humour.” It sounds strange, but you are changing your attitude when you praise yourself.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/a1/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-8- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/a1/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-597px-Overcome- Insecurity-Step-8-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:431,”bigWidth”:597,”bigHeight”:560,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Ask yourself why you said no to yourself. Let’s say there’s more. Instead of coming up with all sorts of reasons to say no to a new experience, let’s go over the possibilities when you say yes. Even if every no answer makes sense, the prospect of you saying yes will be surprising and new. If you get a little hurt after saying yes to a new experience, then compared to simply saying no, you will recover and gain more experience. So much so that if nothing good happens by saying yes, you can still be happy thinking you’re positive, relaxed, and unafraid to try new things.

Suppose, a socialite in music class approaches you and says that he wants to start a band, and the band wants to invite you to join. You can automatically reply, “No way, I’ve never been in a band and you don’t seem to know how to build a successful band – plus, I don’t think of myself as a musician. and I don’t have time because I have to go to school and…”
- With that in mind, before anything goes anywhere, you limit yourself and refuse to consider the potential of the idea. You were able to make friends with this friend and his or her friends, having an enjoyable experience and a new story to tell. Just say yes and see where it leads.

When you’re not confident in your relationship, try some of the steps above. At the same time, the search for personal happiness also works. If you are a happy person, you are more likely to make others and your partner happy too; As a result, you will be on the road towards confidence and away from self-doubt.

Act

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/6/6d/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-9- Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/6d/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome- Insecurity-Step-9-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}

Nurture relationships. Pay attention to your friends and their attitudes toward others, themselves, and you. If you start to find that most of your friends have a habit of criticizing, criticizing other people’s clothes, body shape, decisions, words, or attitudes on a daily basis, you can seek out friends. less judgmental. Try to find someone who has a lot of good things to say about others and doesn’t make judgments too quickly.

It’s okay to have a few negative friends, but when you’re surrounded by negativity, even if it’s not directed at you, you’re still under its influence. Even if your friends are criticizing someone else’s silly hairstyle and you like it, you will still feel wronged and lose confidence in your own opinion.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/ac/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-10.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-10.jpg”,” bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/ac/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-10.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-10.jpg”,”smallWidth” :460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Be more tolerant of others. Don’t be too quick to criticize yourself. Trying to humiliate others may seem like it will elevate you, but in reality, every time you bring someone down, you are also criticizing a quality of yourself and at the same time putting yourself down. Instead, lift them up. Not only will you be lucky in making friends and have meaningful relationships, but you will also be lifting yourself up high.

When you find yourself criticizing someone else’s failure or decision, think about why you’re doing it. If your first thought is “because they are wrong,” think a little more carefully. Why is it wrong? Under what circumstances? Does your culture or the way you were raised make you think so?
Does anyone from another country or culture feel the same way as you? Just because someone is doing something different from what you do or living in a way you don’t choose doesn’t automatically mean that they are acting wrong.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/7/70/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-11.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-11.jpg”,” bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/7/70/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-11.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-11.jpg”,”smallWidth” :460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Do something that excites you every day. It doesn’t have to be a risky business – just visit a corner of the city you’ve never been to on your own and go to a shop. See what you can find there. Chat with the seller. The more new and exciting experiences you have, the easier it will be to get excited about life instead of being scared by new things or unfamiliar people. If you know you can do something interesting every day, you will stop thinking that everything you try will end in failure.

If you’re shy about your looks, go to an unusual clothing store and try on lots of things you know aren’t your style. Laugh at your own reflection in the mirror. You might as well find something unexpected that works for you. Otherwise, you still have the familiar suits and now they don’t seem as weird as they used to be. Simply try new things as often as possible!

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/c/c1/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-12.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-12.jpg”,” bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/c1/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-12.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-12.jpg”,”smallWidth” :460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Point out possible defects. If you hate your freckles or your voice, there’s not much you can do. With flaws that cannot be changed, you must gradually accept them. But when you have things that can be changed, such as easily becoming stressed, lacking compassion, or not persuasive enough, you need to take the necessary steps to influence those things. . Sure, each of us is born with a certain inclination and it can be hard to completely transform ourselves, but you will certainly improve on qualities that can be changed for the better.

If you take action to improve the things you don’t like about yourself, you’re well on your way to feeling more confident in the future.
No one is saying that it’s easy to find what you want to change in yourself and make those changes. But that’s better than the other way around, which is forever whining about the things you don’t like about yourself without moving a single finger to change that.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/d/de/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-13.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-13.jpg”,” bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/d/de/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-13.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-13.jpg”,”smallWidth” :460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Stop comparing yourself to others. One of the most effective ways to make you feel low all the time is to compare yourself to people you know, or even to people you see on television. In doing so, you are bound to make yourself feel bad, poor, defeated, and a host of other mediocrity just because you feel like you’re not equal to anyone else. Instead, focus on the things that make your life better by your standards, not by someone else’s standards.

If you try hard enough, you will always find people who are healthier, wealthier, and wiser than you. However, the possibility is that there are a lot of people who want them to be friends in some way. As the saying goes, “Standing on this mountain and looking at that mountain”, the person you think is perfect and full of everything is probably also wanting to be someone else.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/18/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-14.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-14.jpg”,” bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/18/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-14.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-14.jpg”,”smallWidth” :460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Chat with close friends. One way to overcome self-doubt is to talk about it with a close friend. Being with someone who knows and understands you will give you an unbiased perspective, and you will see that your fears or worries are completely irrational. A good friend will make you happier, will tell you that you can achieve your goals, and dispel the negativity or doubt that surrounds your life.

Sometimes, just saying something solves half of the problem. You may feel worse when you have to suppress your self-doubt.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/83/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-15.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-15.jpg”,” bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/83/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-15.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-15.jpg”,”smallWidth” :460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Trying to excel at something. If you want to feel better about yourself, one way to achieve this is to become good at something. It could be dancing, writing short stories, drawing, telling jokes, or becoming a master at learning a foreign language. It doesn’t matter what it is; What matters is that you’ve put enough time and energy into something where you can say, “Hey, I’m really good at this.” Trying to be successful and committing to doing it regularly will definitely make you feel better about yourself.

To be clear, you shouldn’t aim to be the best soccer player or the fastest student in math class to impress others. You should do it to make yourself proud.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/2a/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-16.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-16.jpg”,” bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/2a/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-16.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-16.jpg”,”smallWidth” :460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Learn to laugh at yourself. Usually, people who lack confidence take themselves too seriously. They are always afraid to fail or embarrass themselves. The more confident people are the ones who have a sense of humor and understand that everyone does embarrassing things at one time or another, because they accept that they will screw up sometimes and so on. totally fine. You need to learn to laugh at yourself, and have fun when something doesn’t go according to plan, instead of worrying about appearing good all the time. It’s so much more comforting when you face each day with more laughter and less anxiety about perfection.

This doesn’t mean that you should belittle yourself and laugh at yourself all the time. It means that you should be gentler and more tolerant of yourself; when you laugh at yourself, people feel more comfortable around you, because they don’t have to worry if they’re making you uncomfortable, and you feel more comfortable with yourself, too.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/7/76/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-17.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-17.jpg”,” bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/7/76/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-17.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-17.jpg”,”smallWidth” :460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Take in as much information as possible. One reason for lack of confidence is because you hate dealing with uncertainty. You don’t know what awaits you at a party, a new class, or a trip where you don’t know many people. When you can’t predict what will happen in a particular situation, you can help yourself feel better by gathering as much information as possible to feel a little more in control. This will help you feel more certain of what is to come.

For example, if you’re going to a party, find out who’s going to be there, what people will do, what they’ll dress like, etc., and you’ll find yourself having a better sense of what’s going on. wait.
When you’re nervous about a presentation, make sure you know the number of attendees, what the presentation room will look like, if anyone else is giving the presentation, and the like, so you don’t have to worry about as many mysterious elements as before.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/b/b6/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-18.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-18.jpg”,” bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/b/b6/Overcome-Insecurity-Step-18.jpg/v4-728px-Overcome-Insecurity-Step-18.jpg”,”smallWidth” :460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Remember that you are not alone. You may feel like you’re the only person in the world who is doubting yourself or feels like you’re unworthy of anyone. However, you must remember that everyone feels a lack of confidence at one time or another, even the most successful supermodels and entrepreneurs. Low self-esteem is a part of life, and when you no longer feel insecure about your low self-esteem, you are starting to feel better! Everyone feels self-conscious about something, and your doubts are completely normal. Being aware of this will put you on the right track for more positive emotions.

Advice

Pick a hobby or activity that interests you and practice it as much as you can. It can be an individual activity or a group activity. Even though you may not be very good at the beginning or you still don’t feel professional after a while, you have created a new feature in yourself, and if you do this with a group of people, you have built get relationships. Regularly playing a sport, walking, knitting, reading, photography, drawing, playing musical instruments, collecting insects, learning languages or computer software, or volunteering in the community are all ideas. good.
If someone criticizes you, stop for a moment to think objectively – “Is what they say valid? Have they looked at this from multiple angles? Do they understand your perspective on things? Are they offering you solutions or are they simply making you feel inferior?” Put yourself in their place.
When you’re embarrassed, laugh at yourself and try to have fun. Being angry or suffering in silence for a long time will only ruin your chances of enjoying what you are doing, and will make you sad about it forever. If you laugh, you’ll get through and keep yourself happy.
Help others, even ‘simple’ things – It gives you confidence and you will be valued. Working together brings motivation and joy. Make others, and yourself, need you.

Warning

Confidence takes a long time to take care of and is prone to fluctuations. It can take years for you to realize you’ve changed. Believe that you are changing and do your best.

Steps

Change Your Perspective

Act

Advice

Warning

Related Posts