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This article was co-written by Susan Pazak, PhD. Dr. Susan Pazak is a licensed clinical psychologist and professional life coach. With more than 21 years of experience, she specializes in supporting adolescents and adults with cognitive behavioral therapy, symptom reduction skills, and behavior modification techniques. She has been featured in numerous media publications including “My Strange Addiction.” Dr. Pazak holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology with a minor in Communication from the University of Pittsburgh, and a master’s degree in Forest Psychology. Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, and a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.
There are 21 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 5,559 times.
No matter what age you are, whatever your background, how great your skills and factors are, you will never be too old, too beautiful, too smart to be denied. The only way to guarantee that you will never be rejected is to never try to do something and not interact with anyone else. However, this is not a good way to live, so at some point you will encounter rejection. Common situations where you might be rejected include in love, work, study, sports, or business. But remember that you don’t have to allow rejection to destroy you! Overcoming rejection doesn’t mean you have to deny it or pretend it’s okay – it’s about learning how to deal with the problem and move on in life.
Steps
Overcoming the Initial Pain
- Experiencing rejection in a romantic relationship, such as a heartbreaking breakup, can trigger a response similar to that of drug withdrawal in the brain. [3] X Research Sources
- According to some studies, people suffering from depression may have a harder time dealing with feelings of rejection. Because depression blocks the body’s production of opioids, or natural pain relievers, rejection can potentially lead to more profound and lasting damage to someone who is depressed than someone who doesn’t. This. [4] X Research Sources
- Often, society promotes “being tough” or “repressing emotions” excessively as if accepting and expressing your true feelings would make you look like an inferior person. However, this is not true. People who try to control their emotions instead of allowing themselves to see it will have more difficulty solving problems, and may continue to develop other negative emotions.
- Cry if you want. Crying can actually reduce feelings of anxiety, restlessness, and irritability. It can also ease the body’s stress levels. And so, real men (and women) can cry – and should. [8] X Research Sources
- Try not to scream, or punch or kick something. Scientific research has shown that even expressing anger through hostility toward an inanimate object, such as a pillow, can actually increase anger. for you. [9] X Trusted Source Association for Psychpogical Science Go to the source It’s better to write about your feelings, looking back at why you’re feeling angry. [10] X Research Source
- Expressing your feelings through a creative element such as painting, music, or poetry can be quite helpful. However, you should try to stay away from things that are too sad or frustrating, as they can make your feelings worse. [11] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Use this opportunity to consider the potential reasons behind the rejection. This doesn’t mean you have to criticize yourself; It’s about doing the right analysis of what you want to do differently in the future. No matter what excuses you find – such as staying away from narcissistic people, turning in your homework on time, or working out harder – they can provide you with a practical foundation to build on. take action instead of focusing on the nature of the rejection.
- For example, instead of saying, “The girl I like refused to go to the prom with me because I’m fat and ugly,” stick to what you really ‘know’: The girl I like doesn’t want to go to the year-end prom with me.” It’s still rejection, and it still hurts, but the second mindset will help you avoid shaming or criticizing yourself for being unhealthy.
- Rejection can actually lower your IQ. [13] X Research Source So, if you’re having a hard time thinking through your emotions, you shouldn’t feel too bad about it – it’s completely out of your control.
- You should only take over-the-counter pain relievers and should not take more than the prescribed dose. You want to treat your pain, not form another addiction.
- When you feel anger at rejection, try redirecting this energy into a slightly more “violent” physical activity such as jogging, kick boxing, taekwondo, or karate.
- Laughter is especially important after rejection because it stimulates the release of chemicals known as endorphins, which induce feelings of positivity and well-being. Laughter can even increase physical pain tolerance! [20] X Research Sources
Overcome Rejection
- Be kind to yourself. Being kind to yourself means developing the same kindness and self-understanding as you would towards a loved one. It doesn’t mean you need to make excuses for your mistakes or ignore your problems, it’s that you need to admit that you’re not perfect. Loving yourself will also allow you to love others more.
- Universal human nature. Being aware of universal human nature means acknowledging that negative experiences, including rejection, are a part of human life and need not be your fault. Understanding this can help you overcome rejection and help you realize that rejection is not from anyone.
- Mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness means nonjudgmental awareness and acceptance of one’s experience. Practicing mindfulness through meditation can help you process a negative emotion without focusing too much on it.
- Don’t “exaggerate the problem”. Exaggerating the problem simply means overreacting to the mistakes or failures you’ve made while ignoring your positive qualities. If you are rejected while applying for a job, this does not mean that you will never be able to find another job and will end up living in a box under some bridge. If you receive negative feedback about an essay or a job, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn and improve. Exaggerating the problem will make it impossible for you to see that you can learn and grow from your experience – even from the most negative experiences such as rejection.
- For example, if you’re going through an emotional breakup, the person who doesn’t want to be your intimate partner has made it clear that you two won’t be able to stick around for long in the future. Although this rejection hurts, it’s better to acknowledge it early than to put your love on someone and realize later that the two will never be compatible.
- You might also consider doing another activity such as assertiveness training. Sometimes people have to accept rejection because they don’t understand how to express their desires and needs. You will probably find that learning to be more assertive about what you want and need will help lower your chances of being rejected. [28] X Research Sources
- There will be times when you feel self-doubt when you have to try something new. You should proceed slowly to avoid confusing yourself. If you decide to fix many parts of your life, at times, you will feel like you are inexperienced and this leads to erratic emotions. You should try to work through this feeling and realize that the “beginner’s mind” is actually quite a positive state, and that you are open to a new way of perceiving things.
- Shopping should not be used as comfort for your pain, or simply to cover up a problem you have to deal with. Also, don’t spend too much money, or else you will increase your stress level. However, rewarding yourself with a few items will boost your morale, especially as it sets you on a new path towards brighter things.
Stay Strong
- For example, asking for something that you’re sure you’ll get rejected (but it’s not that important to you) can help you deal with rejection.
- For example, if you’re chatting with a friend and you feel rejected in some way, you can “avoid” the conversation to protect yourself from getting hurt. While this will help relieve the initial discomfort, it also causes you to disconnect from the other person, and this can actually make matters worse. [33] X Research Sources
- You need to remember: you will be 100% rejected before the opportunity you do not try to find.
- However, it is important to remember that your view of success does not determine your true success, only if you put in the effort to make it happen. You still have the potential to fail (and at some point in your life, it really does) to something that you feel pretty good about and have tried your best. me.
- Understanding that you can only control your action, not its outcome, will help you eliminate personalizing rejection when it occurs. [35] X Research Source You should know that rejection is a possibility, but you should do your best no matter the outcome.
Advice
- Keep this quote from basketball legend Michael Jordan in your mind: “I have missed 9,000 pitches in my career. I lost almost 300 matches. Twenty-six times I’ve been tasked with pitching the team’s victory and I’ve missed. I keep failing in life. And that’s why I’m successful.” [37] X Research Source
- Not every rejection is fair. For example, if you believe that you have been rejected by a company to hire you because of racism, you have every right to take legal action to make things right.
- Research has shown that if you stay positive and approach other people and situations with the hope of gaining acceptance, you will be able to get it. This doesn’t mean you’ll never face rejection, but it does mean that your attitude can really affect how others treat you. [38] X Research Source
Warning
- You should process your emotions, but don’t get too wrapped up in them. Obsessed with negative emotions can prevent you from recovering.
- Don’t get angry or aggressive, even if you’re in pain. Yelling at others may feel better for a while, but in the end, it will cause you and your partner more pain.
This article was co-written by Susan Pazak, PhD. Dr. Susan Pazak is a licensed clinical psychologist and professional life coach. With more than 21 years of experience, she specializes in supporting adolescents and adults with cognitive behavioral therapy, symptom reduction skills, and behavior modification techniques. She has been featured in numerous media publications including “My Strange Addiction.” Dr. Pazak holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology with a minor in Communication from the University of Pittsburgh, and a master’s degree in Forest Psychology. Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, and a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.
There are 21 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 5,559 times.
No matter what age you are, whatever your background, how great your skills and factors are, you will never be too old, too beautiful, too smart to be denied. The only way to guarantee that you will never be rejected is to never try to do something and not interact with anyone else. However, this is not a good way to live, so at some point you will encounter rejection. Common situations where you might be rejected include in love, work, study, sports, or business. But remember that you don’t have to allow rejection to destroy you! Overcoming rejection doesn’t mean you have to deny it or pretend it’s okay – it’s about learning how to deal with the problem and move on in life.
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