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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
This article has been viewed 3,679 times.
The emergence of mixed emotions often leaves you confused, upset, tired, and stuck. “Mixed feelings” means that you have mixed feelings about a person or situation. This is because you meet new people, situations, behaviors, or new processing information. Contradictory feelings are not only present in a relationship between a man and a woman or a new relationship, but also in relationships with friends, family, or colleagues, with whom you are so familiar. An example would be that you love and admire your best friend because she cares about others and is kind. However, you feel jealous because she is popular and attracts other people’s attention. To deal with mixed feelings towards others, you need to clearly identify your own feelings, seek solutions, and seek help if needed.
Steps
Identify emotions
- Make a list of all the emotions you’re aware of. Do not divide emotions into good or bad groups, such as a list of pros and cons. You just need to write it all down. Emotions are not “good or bad”; they all have their own purpose.
- For example, your feelings toward a colleague or acquaintance might be awkward, respectful, annoyed, or annoyed.
- Your feelings towards someone close, such as a close friend or loved one can be love, disappointment, anger, comfort, etc.
- You may find that your feelings are not caused by the person or the relationship with them, but because of the situation at the time, or something they said or did.
- For example, you go on a date and make a pretty good first impression. Then this person takes you to a party but you don’t know anyone, and feel uncomfortable or shy. In this example, the strange situation or environment makes you unnatural, not this person.
- This step is more detailed than situation identification. Remember the moment when the emotion appeared. Identify the word or action immediately preceding it.
- For example, if you remember being rejected on a date, you can recall a time when the other person left you. This could be the source of your feelings of rejection.
- In addition to the emotion and situation, you can write down the source of that emotion.
Separate emotions from this person
- For example, if you have low self-esteem, [2] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to the source you may not feel worthy of this person and therefore not allow yourself to form a relationship.
- Think about the people in your life that make you feel the same way about this new person. See if you recognize the same pattern.
Looking for a solution
- Emotions: Confused
- Scenario: A friend praises my completed project, but an hour later the same person criticizes me.
- Possible solutions: Face to face, keep it in your heart, talk to your parents, start rumors at school, tell your teacher, etc..
- Choice: Bring up the problem directly to a friend
- Ability: Friend becomes annoyed
- Ability: A friend understands what you say
- Ability: I feel uncomfortable talking about how the situation affects me
- Choice: Hide in your heart
- Possibility: The problem continues
- Ability: The problem ends on its own
- Possibility: The problem continues to bother me
- Choice of: Talk to your parents
- Possibility: I will feel better about this situation
- Ability: On the field nothing changes
- In the friend situation, for example, it may not be reasonable to spread rumors in school. The consequences can be dire or impact your relationships with others. At this point, you can move on to the second solution, which is to hide it in your heart. Maybe your friend is having a bad time and takes it out on you. Maybe you were a little sensitive that day.
- Prepare yourself for the outcomes listed above.
Looking for help
- Also, if you see a person or situation that has brought back emotions from the past, you should see a professional to work through your emotional problems. A psychologist will help you identify complex emotions, even those that are difficult to admit. Psychiatrists also teach you the skills you need to approach others effectively and respectfully.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
This article has been viewed 3,679 times.
The emergence of mixed emotions often leaves you confused, upset, tired, and stuck. “Mixed feelings” means that you have mixed feelings about a person or situation. This is because you meet new people, situations, behaviors, or new processing information. Contradictory feelings are not only present in a relationship between a man and a woman or a new relationship, but also in relationships with friends, family, or colleagues, with whom you are so familiar. An example would be that you love and admire your best friend because she cares about others and is kind. However, you feel jealous because she is popular and attracts other people’s attention. To deal with mixed feelings towards others, you need to clearly identify your own feelings, seek solutions, and seek help if needed.
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