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This article was co-written by Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT. Ken Breniman is a clinical social worker, yoga therapist, and autobiologist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Ken has over 15 years of experience providing clinical support services and community workshops, using a combination of psychotherapy with therapeutic yoga. He specializes in teaching eclectic and non-denominational yoga, suffering therapy, complex trauma recovery, and developing mindful dying skills. He holds an MSW from the University of Washington and a master’s degree in autobiology from the Marian University of Fond du Lac. He is certified by the International Association of Yoga Therapists after completing 500 hours of training at Yoga Tree in San Francisco and at Ananda Seva Mission in Santa Rosa, CA.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 10,425 times.
Losing a loved one is a difficult process regardless of the circumstances. Overcoming the fear of losing a loved one is a rather personal process. Fortunately, there are many well-researched techniques that can help, such as thinking more realistically about death, dealing with fear of loss, and getting social support.
Steps
Think Realistically About Death
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Realize that fear of death is normal. Most people fear their loved one will die at some point. [1] X Research Source In addition, everyone will experience the loss of a loved one in life. [2] X Source of Research According to fear management theory, thinking about the death of someone you love can form paralyzing fear. [3] X Research Source Thinking about someone else’s death will also emphasize your own death.
- You should know that you are not the only one experiencing this condition. You’ll get sympathy from others because they’ve probably had problems similar to yours. If possible, share your feelings with someone who has been dealing with loss and it will help you feel that your feelings are being supported and validated.
- Acknowledge your fears and feelings. Tell yourself, “Fear and sadness are normal. They are just natural reactions to the situation.”
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Focus on what you can control. If you are caring for a sick loved one, this process can add to your anxiety, grief, burden, and loss of freedom. [4] X Research Source While you will certainly want to do your best to help your loved one, you have no control over how long they live. Instead, focus on the action you can take right now, such as spending time with them or dealing with fear and sadness in a healthy way.
- Think about the factors that you have control over in the current situation. For example, you can control your own behavior – the action you choose to take in this situation. You can focus on doing your best to comfort and care for someone you love. At the same time, you should also pay attention to soothing yourself and expressing your feelings to your loved one to handle the grief.
- Stop thinking about factors you can’t control. Visualization and visualization can help you gain a holistic view of what you can and cannot control. Imagine that you put all your fears on a leaf floating in the water. and watch them drift further and further away.
- Set limits. If you have to care for a loved one who is sick, the process can create a variety of difficulties including unbearable moods, anxiety and depression. [5] X Research Source Do only what you can, and remember to take time to take care of yourself. You’ll probably need to set boundaries with everyone to preserve this alone time.
- Use mindfulness to focus your attention on the present moment. We are afraid because we often think about the future and what might happen instead of focusing on the present and the action we can take in the immediate moment. You should take responsibility for what’s happening right now (as you’re reading this)!
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Accept loss. Many studies have shown that when people express acceptance of death in general, they are more likely to cope with the loss and recover more quickly. [6] X Research Sources
- You can start practicing this ability by making a list of all the difficult feelings and thoughts associated with the loss. Write down your truest thoughts and fears and proceed to accept them one by one. You can say to yourself, “I accept my fears and my pain. I accept that I might lose this person one day. It will be difficult, but I accept that Loss is a part of life.”
- Remind yourself that death is part of life. Unfortunately, loss is also an issue that most people face in their lifetime.
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Think positively about the world. When people believe that the world is completely fair and just, they often recover more quickly and have less trouble when they lose a loved one. [7] X Research Sources
- One way to think negatively about the world is to be aware of the cycle of life and that both life and death are completely natural processes. “If there is birth, there must be death.” You should try to perceive beauty in life and death. The cycle of life is wonderful and something we need to cherish and be grateful for. When someone dies, another person has a chance to live again.
- Practice gratitude. You can say something to yourself like, “I may lose someone I love, but at least for now, I can still spend time with that person. I’ll focus on that. this and cherish the time that I have. I am so grateful for every minute that I have with that person.” We also have the ability to choose to express gratitude that everyone, including our loved ones, has the opportunity to experience life.
- If someone you love is in pain, you should focus on thinking that the person will no longer have to endure this pain after death. Accept the fact that no matter what his beliefs (and yours) may be, he or she will rest in peace.
Coping with the Fear of Loss
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Use the resources you have. Having disproportionate loss coping resources can create intense hardship and chronic grief after the loss of a loved one. [8] X Research Source So it’s important to develop coping mechanisms when you feel fearful of the possibility of losing a loved one.
- People often take measures to deal with different types of specific moods such as fear, loss, grief, and disappointment. Some examples of positive approaches to dealing with the fear of losing a loved one include exercise, writing, art, nature activities, religious/spiritual behavior (such as prayer) and music.
- Handle emotions appropriately; Allow yourself to feel them and vent if needed. Severe depression (before the death of a loved one) requires you to establish a better process of adjusting to the loss once it has occurred. [9] X Research Source Crying is also a healthy and normal way to let go of pent-up sadness and fear.
- Write a diary about your fear. Write down all of your thoughts and feelings about losing someone you love.
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Deep breath. If you find yourself panicking or extremely anxious about the thought of losing a loved one, taking deep breaths will help you minimize your physiological responses (shortness of breath, increased heart rate, etc.) help you feel calmer.
- Sit or lie in a comfortable position in a suitable place. Breathe deeply into your lungs slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Concentrate completely on your breathing. Pay attention to the abdomen/diaphragm as it moves up and down during breathing.
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Strengthen your self-esteem and independence. High self-esteem is a factor that helps protect you against difficulties in dealing with death-related problems. [10] X Research Sources However, relationship problems such as conflict and overdependence can make you more vulnerable to chronic grief after the person you love dear died. [11] X Research Source
- You need to be more independent and make a plan to build an independent life. [12] X Research Source
- Trust that things will get easier and you will be able to deal with them.
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Create meaning and purpose in life. Believing that this world has a meaning (or a time) can help people cope with death and reduce their fear of losing a loved one. [13] X Research Source Having a purpose in life means living for specific reasons (such as family, career, helping the world, giving back to the community, etc.) merely trying to survive or survive. If your life has a clear purpose, you can focus on what you can achieve and move on when someone you love dies. This measure will help ensure that you will continue to live for a purpose even when your loved one is no longer with you.
- Remember that you are a valuable member of society. Focus on action you can take to contribute to the world. Do you help others? Are you kind to strangers? Do you donate to charity or dedicate your time to volunteer work? Being aware of these attributes can help you to know that you have a definite purpose in life, and can continue to do so even after you have lost a loved one. In the future, you can even dedicate certain activities or projects to someone you love who has passed away.
- Try to find out the meaning of death. An example of this process is that death is an inevitable part of life, or death is simply a portal to another dimension or world (such as belief in an afterlife). What does death mean to you? Will the person you love continue to live in the afterlife? Or will that person’s contribution to society still live on?
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Contact with higher power. A higher power can be any element bigger and stronger than you. You should make connections or thoughts about religion, beliefs, or worldviews that help you deal with topics related to death. [14] X Research Source[15] X Research Source
- If you are not a religious person or do not believe in a supreme god, you can focus on a stronger force than you, such as nature (the moon and sea are also quite powerful). A force higher than you can also be a group of people (because a group of people will always be stronger than an individual).
- Write letters to these powerful elements to express your fear of losing someone you love.
- Pray to this force about your feelings and thoughts. Consult about the outcome you want (such as helping your loved one through an illness, or praying for that person to stop suffering, etc.).
Increase laughter Social support
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Cherish the time you have with your loved one. If the person you love is still alive, you should spend quality time with them in their final days.
- Talk to them about their memories, as well as what you value about them.
- Remember to emphasize how you feel about them. Tell them that you love them very much.
- The process of conversing at the end of this life can be difficult, but remember to say everything you want so you won’t regret it later. You can write down everything before telling your loved one.
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Share with family members. The continued attachment and support of a family member during the time of loss will help you to be able to endure the difficult emotions associated with the loss. [16] X Research Source
- If you want to share with family or friends, you should ask for their opinion first. You’re probably not the only one in need of solace. [17] X Research Source
- Surround yourself with loved ones and build solidarity through talking about memories or doing something together.
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Talk to someone you trust. It is not only family interactions that can help reduce the fear of losing a loved one, but relationships outside of the family are also quite helpful in increasing the ability to cope positively with the loss of a loved one. loss may occur. [18] X Research Resources Discussing your own feelings and thoughts with others to reduce fear and anxiety can be quite helpful. [19] X Research Source
- If you are a religious person, you can share with the head of your religion so that they can comfort you and help you find the right prayer.
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Helping others. Not only do we need social support when we are worried about someone’s death, but helping others is also a great way to feel better. [20] X Research Source
- Talk to your children about death. If you have children, be sure to set aside a special time to talk about this topic. Almost every public library has dedicated children’s books that can help you and your kids learn about death in a more calm manner.
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Maintain a relationship with the deceased. One of the biggest fears people have when thinking about the death of a loved one is that this will also be the end of the relationship between them. [21] X Research Source However, it will live on forever, in your memory, in your prayers, in your feelings and thoughts about that person.
- Focus on the fact that the bond and bond between you and that person will never be lost.
Advice
- Similarly, if you need to surround yourself with distractions to stop thinking about the traumatic event such as a comedy, friends unaffected by the loss, etc., sometimes, you are completely allowed to immerse yourself in them.
- If you want to cry, cry. This is a normal human biological response and can be used as needed.
Warning
- Although this is a rather private time in your life as well as those around you, others may not want to cry or laugh with you. In this case, you should seek privacy or reach out to someone who is not going through the grieving process to complete your personal experience.
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This article was co-written by Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT. Ken Breniman is a clinical social worker, yoga therapist, and autobiologist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Ken has over 15 years of experience providing clinical support services and community workshops, using a combination of psychotherapy with therapeutic yoga. He specializes in teaching eclectic and non-denominational yoga, suffering therapy, complex trauma recovery, and developing mindful dying skills. He holds an MSW from the University of Washington and a master’s degree in autobiology from the Marian University of Fond du Lac. He is certified by the International Association of Yoga Therapists after completing 500 hours of training at Yoga Tree in San Francisco and at Ananda Seva Mission in Santa Rosa, CA.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 10,425 times.
Losing a loved one is a difficult process regardless of the circumstances. Overcoming the fear of losing a loved one is a rather personal process. Fortunately, there are many well-researched techniques that can help, such as thinking more realistically about death, dealing with fear of loss, and getting social support.
Thank you for reading this post How to Overcome Fear of Losing a Loved One at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.
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