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The relationship between cousins in the family can be very close and deep. If you have gone from being very close to your cousins but have become distant because of living apart, misunderstandings, or even due to internal problems in the family, it is okay, you can still make things worse. She loves herself and builds a meaningful relationship for both of them. [1] X Research Source
Steps
Building trust
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Actively communicate. Getting back in touch with your cousin is a good first step towards building trust and making her like you. [2] X Research Source Start with a simple text so she won’t be too surprised or take you by surprise.
- There are many ways of communication you can choose from, such as writing a letter, emailing or calling. Using social media is also one way. You can friend (re)friend her on Facebook or follow her on Instagram. These small actions will help you gradually communicate with each other more.
- Start the conversation with a simple text, such as: “We used to be very close and I miss you so much. If you want, let’s contact each other more often.” Messages like these both let her know how you feel and ask her to talk to you more.
- Don’t bring up previous unhappy stories or family conflicts. There will be a good time for both of you to bring those things up and both of you will know when to open up about these issues. [3] X Research Sources
- Don’t insult or scold her. If you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s best to wait until you can treat her positively and respectfully.
- If you don’t have her contact information, you can ask a family member or use some search engine like Google to find her email address or phone number.
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Is a good communicator. There are two ingredients to being a good communicator: Speaking and listening. Talk to your cousin and listen to what she has to say. This will show her that you are serious about the relationship. [4] X Research Sources
- Stay in touch consistently. Once you get back in touch with your cousin, you don’t have to immediately respond to texts or calls, but keep in touch regularly to build trust between the two of you.
- One of the most important factors for her to trust you is to listen, let her know that her interests and problems are both very important to you. [5] X Source of Research[6] X Source of Research[7] X Source of Research For example, if she is having trouble at school or with friends, please share her feelings and help she tries to solve those problems.
- Sharing secrets also helps you trust each other more. However, make sure you don’t tell her secret to others to avoid any discord. [8] X Research Sources
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Always be respectful and flexible. Make your cousin comfortable and relaxed as you talk or spend time together. Showing respect and flexibility in your behavior will help her trust and like you more. [9] X Research Source[10] X Research Source
- Your cousin may have different beliefs and ideas than you. Respect and cherish those differences to show you’re serious about the relationship. [11] X Research Source
- Respect includes not offending her cousin and her family. Slandering, gossiping, or revealing her secrets to others is also disrespectful behavior. [12] X Research Source
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Get together on occasions where the family is not present. Once you’re in regular contact with your cousin, make an appointment to see her in person. However, avoid seeing each other at family gatherings because it can be quite stressful and problems will become more serious.
- The first meeting should also be simple. You can go out for coffee, lunch, a movie or a sport. You guys can hang out for longer when you have a chance to see each other for a short period of time,
Build relationships with cousins
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Show genuine interest. Listen to what she has to say and when you respond, include some details she said. This shows that you pay attention and sincerely care about her and your relationship. [13] X Research Source[14] X Research Source[15] X Research Source
- One of the best ways to show interest is to ask questions. You can ask simple questions like “do you like…” to let her talk more about her studies and where she lives. [16] X Research Source[17] X Research Source[18] X Research Source
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Find similarities. A good way to build a friendship with your cousin and make her really like you is to find some similarities. There are a few points that will make it easier for you to talk to each other. [19] X Research Source[20] X Research Source
- At first, it seems that you and your cousin don’t have much in common. However, keep in touch regularly and ask her about herself, and you will find a lot in common from simple things like personality or interests. [21] X Research Source For example, maybe you both enjoy playing video games or using the Pinterest app. You can play video games together or follow each other on Pinterest,
- It’s okay not to have much in common. You can share different ways of seeing the world or introduce each other to exciting new activities. [22] X Research Source For example, if your cousin likes to go hiking and you have never hiked before, you can plan to go together. Maybe you’ll enjoy the activity, or she’ll like you even more if you don’t because you’re unafraid to embrace new experiences. [23] X Research Source[24] X Research Source
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Talk and laugh often. Talking to her regularly will significantly strengthen the bond between the two of you. Keep the conversations positive, light, and full of laughter; This will make the relationship stronger. [25] X Research Source[26] X Research Source[27] X Research Source
- Nowadays, thanks to social networks you can keep in touch with your cousins more easily. You can communicate through many websites such as Facebook and Twitter.
- The prevalence of cell phones makes it easier to send messages. You can text on your phone or use some free apps like Viber and What’sApp.
- Online video calling through some apps like Skype or FaceTime also makes communication more convenient and private.
- Remember to always stay positive and respectful. Don’t scold or hurt her. If you do that, apologize and continue to bond between the two sisters.
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Do fun things together. Spending time together participating in different activities not only strengthens your bond, but also helps you trust each other more. [28] X Research Sources[29] X Research Sources
- Getting your cousin to laugh or have a good laugh when she does something interesting will make her fall in love with you. Everyone loves someone who always makes others happy.
- Flexible behavior. You don’t have to like all the activities your cousin likes or suggests, just as she doesn’t have to have the same interests as you. However, being flexible will help develop your relationship. Your cousin should also respect the choices you make. [30] X Research Source
- Remember to make time for each other outside of family gatherings, as these occasions are often stressful and can negatively affect your relationship. [31] X Research Source
Maintain relationships with cousins
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Keep contact. There will be times when you can’t contact or see your cousin as often, this is completely normal. However, just send simple messages like “Hey, is everything going well these days?” It’s enough to show that you still care about her very much.
- Stay in touch with your cousins on some sites like Facebook and Twitter.
- Call or text. You can send messages on your phone or use some free apps like Viber and What’sApp.
- Video calling with apps like Skype or FaceTime also makes communication more convenient and private.
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Continue to show interest. In addition to keeping in touch, you should show that you care about her. There are many ways to show care, such as remembering to wish her happy birthday or help her with some problems in her life. [32] X Research Source[33] X Research Source
- Remembering some important occasions with your cousin will help maintain the bond between the two of you. Make a note of birthdays, anniversaries and important upcoming events to send her well wishes.
- When she’s having trouble in her life, be willing to help, it’s also a way to show care. Help can be as simple as helping her babysit when the babysitter is out of work, helping her with her homework or buying a special piece of fashion. [34] X Research Source
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Maintain a respectful and positive relationship. All relationships come from time to time, but if you always treat your sisters with respect and positivity, you will maintain a lasting relationship. [35] X Research Source
- Sometimes you will have negative emotions or moments when talking. Try to handle those situations calmly, with utmost respect, and let go of the negativity.
- Avoiding family matters will also help keep your relationship positive and respectful. [36] X Research Sources[37] X Research Sources
X
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 47 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 5,591 times.
The relationship between cousins in the family can be very close and deep. If you have gone from being very close to your cousins but have become distant because of living apart, misunderstandings, or even due to internal problems in the family, it is okay, you can still make things worse. She loves herself and builds a meaningful relationship for both of them. [1] X Research Source
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