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Once you’ve completed your quest to find a good guy, the next job is to keep him. The simplest and best way to keep your boyfriend is to make him happy. This doesn’t mean giving him everything he wants, like things you’re not comfortable with. Instead, you can make your boyfriend feel happier by showing that you know him, care about him, and appreciate him for who he is. Making yourself happy won’t hurt you either, as a loving boyfriend will be happy to know how happy he can make you.
Steps
Show interest
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Praise him. No matter what he says or does, your boyfriend (just like everyone else) will appreciate hearing so many good things about himself. We all seek validation in the looks and actions we take, especially when it comes from someone we care about. It’s good for his ego, his pride, and his happiness. [1] X Research Source
- The process should not be made more complicated than necessary. If you like the way he laughs, the way he styled his hair, or his polite attitude towards strangers, let him know. If you can compliment him on anything that you know he really cares about, like his basketball skills or math scores, all the better.
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Tell him you appreciate him. Relationships are hard work, and require effort on both sides. Pay attention to the things he does for you and for your relationship, letting him know that you notice and are grateful for him. [2] X Research Source
- Does he have to get a second job so he can provide you with great dates or save money on an apartment? Is he trying his best to come pick you up so you don’t have to walk home in the rain? Is he good to your mother? Tell him, “I appreciate you doing [this] for me and for us.”
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Express affection. Even if your guy isn’t a fan of public displays of affection, there are plenty of subtle ways to express how you feel to him. Actions often speak louder than words in expressing feelings. [3] X Research Sources
- Hold his hand, and kiss him for no reason. If he’s not the hand holding type, you can let your hand touch his once in a while, and perhaps give him a kiss on the cheek.
- Even the most modern guy wants to feel like a protector, so resting your head on his shoulder or sitting on his lap is a pretty good way to form the feeling that he’s protecting you with his protection. me.
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Pay attention to him. Just spending time together is great, but you should make sure you’re focusing your attention on him for at least a few minutes during this time. This means putting the phone away, looking him in the eye, and listening, talking, or showing him you’re there. [4] X Research Sources
- Turn your time together into quality time – something you both enjoy and will remember. Life is hectic and it just looks like it’s getting busier by the day, so don’t take your time together for granted. Let’s go on a day trip full of surprises. Take a surf lesson together. Just sit back and talk to each other without distractions. [5] X Research Sources
- According to loving relationship researcher John Gottman, healthy relationships tend to have a ratio of at least five positive interactions for each negative interaction. The more often you express concern, concern, appreciation, and affection, which all begin with attention, the more likely you will reach the “magic number” of positive interactions. . [6] X Research Sources
Show that you understand him
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Speak his language. Over the past 20 years, many experts and amateurs alike have supported relationship researcher Gary Chapman’s notion that people “speak” one or more of the five “love languages”. By determining the right language for your boyfriend, you’ll be prepared to communicate effectively and show affection. [7] X Research Sources
- Chapman’s five “love languages” include: words of affirmation; quality time; present; act of service; and physical interaction. Depending on their primary language, humans will be more receptive to acts of love that fit that category. For example, someone whose language is “quality time” will respond better to a long vacation together than gift cards at their favorite store.
- Pay attention to how your boyfriend reacts to different expressions of affection. Once you have determined the language he speaks, you can tailor your act of love to be more appropriate. He will experience and appreciate your feelings more fully.
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Be honest with him. No boyfriend, girlfriend, or anyone else in a relationship will ever be truly happy if they don’t feel as though they are trusted. Being honest, even if it can be difficult, is one of the best ways to show trust. [8] X Research Sources
- Sometimes the truth hurts, and it can hurt him when you’re having a sincere conversation. But underneath that pain will be appreciation because you trusted him enough to be honest with him.
- For example, admitting you’ve cheated on your boyfriend will be one of the hardest times to be honest. Don’t delay it altogether, but you should wait until you’re both calm and able to talk without distractions. Choose your words carefully (rehearse first if possible), but don’t be so vague that you can’t make a point. Start with something like “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you deserve to know the truth,” then admit your guilt without making excuses. Apologize and explain, but don’t beg or ask for forgiveness; you should say that you hope he can forgive you.
- If you’re afraid to tell your boyfriend the truth because you think he’s going to break up with you, or you’re worried he’ll do something really painful, you need to reconsider the importance of it. importance of this relationship. If it can’t be built on trust and honesty, it won’t last, and neither of you will be happy.
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Give him his own space. Of course, a boyfriend will want to spend a lot of time with you. But he still wants and needs time for himself or for his friends. As long as it doesn’t get to the point where he regularly ignores you, let him have it. [9] X Research Source
- Would you like some alone time? Remember that trust is a two-way street. If you can’t give him the space to do his own thing, why would you expect the same?
- Every strong relationship requires a little personal space. Some people need it more than others. As long as he’s there for you when he needs to – that is to say when you need him to give you a ride or give you a shoulder to cry on – you should be happy. Don’t make him want to be with you, make him want to be with you.
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Don’t expect to change him. Your boyfriend isn’t perfect, no matter how great he is. So sometimes you find yourself thinking about the little things you want him to change to make him better. You can inspire others to change, or help them change, but you can never expect them to change. If you can’t accept him for who he is, don’t choose him. [10] X Research Source
- Perhaps your boyfriend is sloppy, often late for hours, or sometimes goes too far with his jokes. You can talk about your concerns with him, and offer help if he wants to be more organized, trustworthy, or sensitive. But if you feel as if you need to change the way he is, then this guy might not be right for you.
Dealing with male stereotypes in general
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Make him happy. Many guys love to enjoy a good meal, watch sports, and think about sex almost non-stop. But you’re not trying to make “many guys” happy – you’re just trying to make your boyfriend happy. Showing that you understand his specific needs and desires is the best route to a man’s heart.
- The advice in this section may or may not apply to your boyfriend. You shouldn’t trust it completely, and rely on your best judgment.
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Maintain appearance. Your boyfriend may feel good about seeing you while you’re sweating, but deep down, he wants you to try to “fix” him a little every now and then. At the very least, maintaining basic hygiene and showing that you care about how you present yourself to the world will make him happier. [11] X Research Source
- Of course, it also has an element of shortsightedness, but your boyfriend will most likely choose to be with you in part because he’s attracted to your looks, and he wants to continue to be attracted to them. . The longer the two of you are together, the more that his love for you will make your appearance beautiful in his eyes no matter what. But the truth is that making an effort to look more attractive will let him know that you care about yourself and him.
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Cook him delicious meals and allow him to watch sports. This will be an ideal Sunday afternoon for many guys. If your boyfriend likes food and football, indulge him once in a while. Maybe he wants you to watch the game with him, or he likes to watch it with his friends. Use your insights to decide what’s best.
- Of course, maybe your guy doesn’t like sports and is on a strict diet. As noted above, this is not “one size fits all” advice. However, the bigger rule – give him something that makes him happy every now and then, even if it makes you a little uncomfortable – still holds true for most guys.
- Every relationship requires a little sacrifice and compromise. Sometimes, you need to let him do things his way, regardless of your instincts. Of course, you deserve the same from him. [12] X Research Source
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Satisfy his longing. We are talking about intimacy. Most guys think and desire sex a lot. Oddly, no matter how much (or often) you give him, he still wants more. While you should never let another person force you to do something you’re not willing to do, satisfying his desires to whatever level of closeness you two are currently in is part of the process. he is happy. [13] X Research Source
- Many guys have a wonderful ability to ignore fatigue, stress, or a host of other obstacles or problems when given the chance to do some intimate romantic activity. Your boyfriend will also probably be “interested” more often than you. You should try to compromise.
- Of course, no matter how long the two of you have been together, no matter what actions the two of you have taken or not taken, you always have the right to say no. If he can’t accept it, find a new boyfriend.
X
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 30 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 59,168 times.
Once you’ve completed your quest to find a good guy, the next job is to keep him. The simplest and best way to keep your boyfriend is to make him happy. This doesn’t mean giving him everything he wants, like things you’re not comfortable with. Instead, you can make your boyfriend feel happier by showing that you know him, care about him, and appreciate him for who he is. Making yourself happy won’t hurt you either, as a loving boyfriend will be happy to know how happy he can make you.
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