How to Make New Friends at School

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We all want to be respected and accepted by everyone. When you have friends, you will have a better mood and higher self-esteem. ^{[1] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source} Making new friends can seem like a challenge if you’re new to school or have a shy and introverted nature, but there are ways to help you pass easily.

Table of Contents

Get to know potential friends

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Discover your passions. Indulge in your favorite activities in a place with lots of people. Notice if someone shows up and also likes the things you like. Find people who share your interests and seem to get along with you. ^{[2] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

Do you like to draw? Sign up for a drawing class. Go to an art exhibition. Find people who often doodle on paper during math class.
Maybe you like to read books? Then you should join a book club. Go to public reading sessions. Find friends who hold the novel outside of school books.

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Find someone with a friendly attitude. Maybe you enjoy hanging out with the most popular people in school, but if that person doesn’t respect you then they’re not really friends. You should find people who treat you well and support you rather than looking for celebrities.

You have to feel comfortable being yourself around that person. ^{[3] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}
You have to feel good when you’re around them. ^{[4] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}
You must feel that the person supports and respects you. ^{[5] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

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Make new friends through existing friends. If you feel comfortable with someone, organize an event for them to invite their friends over. Maybe your friend has found people with similar interests and personalities for you.

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Look at their feet. This is the exact opposite of the concept of eye contact, but that will be discussed later. Research shows that a group of people standing in a circle with their toes pointing in the center are less likely to welcome a new member, but those with their toes pointing outward are more likely to welcome someone new. It won’t hurt the next time you try this method when observing a group of people chatting in a hall, a party or a social event. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

find friend

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Join a club or organization. You can find a club that matches your interests. If you really want to make lots of friends and find new ones, consider expanding your current experience and trying completely new activities, such as an indoor sport. Find out when they gather and attend an upcoming event to apply.

You don’t have to be great to play indoor sports. Basketball, volleyball, table tennis or discus throw, any subject is good. Playing sports is a great way to relax, be physically active and make a whole new group of friends. Gather a group to form a team or join another team as a free member. ^{[7] X Research Sources}
There are many clubs founded on interest. These could be electives at school like joining a theater team or band. These activities can extend to other hobbies such as knitting or playing video games. You can find information at the counseling office or student activity center to see what activities are available there.
Academic clubs can bring together business-minded friends, which may include debate groups and other business-related organizations such as public relations firms or businesses. Ask your guide to help you choose the right direction. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Make new friends

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Get acquainted. Look the person in the eye, smile, and try to appear enthusiastic and relaxed instead of nervous or apprehensive. ^{[11] X Research Source} Talk about whatever is going on around you. ^{[12] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source} Remember to leave positive comments!

If there’s music, you can say, “I like this song, do you like it?”
Pick a tasty treat for your lunch and say the canteen was great today.

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Get to know a group of friends by joining their conversation. You can do this in situations like when sitting with a new group of people at lunchtime or in the middle of a crowd watching a sports game. Interject when you hear something you can comment on, but avoid taking over the conversation. Try to ask questions of the whole group instead of just one of them. ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Praise the other person. Everyone likes to be praised. A great and friendly way to start a conversation is to let the other person know that you like their style. You can compliment her on an outfit or her hairstyle. ^{[14] X Research Source}

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Find similarities. Think of things people like to start a conversation. You should also try to ask open-ended questions to find out what people’s preferences are.

Ask about your friend’s favorite TV show. Maybe you’ll find something in common to talk about.
Talk about something being talked about on social media. If you follow events happening on social media, perhaps others do too. You can ask her if she saw the news and what she thinks.

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Make the conversation more intimate. Start moving from the informal to the conversation on a more personal level. Use open-ended questions instead of yes/no questions. You can use questions like who, what, when, where and why. ^{[15] X Research Source Do they like the song that is playing?}

Ask them who they knew at the party.
Ask them what books they are reading.
Ask when they take a break for lunch.
Ask them what they usually like to do on the weekends.
Ask why they chose to participate in the event.

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Exchange contact information. Once you’ve connected with someone on social media, it’s better to exchange phone numbers to meet face-to-face. Give your friend your phone number before asking for their number. Once they have your number, you can tell them to call or text your phone to save their number.

Use texting when you want to invite a new friend to join an activity or discuss how the two of you did on the test, or if the other friend won the match. Avoid texting too often, especially when you’re just getting to know each other.
Call your friend from time to time. Phone calls are getting rarer and rarer than text messages making this all the more special. ^{[16] X Trusted Source Pew Research Center Go to Source} People generally prefer texting, but a call is lovely on special occasions like birthdays or when you’re asking how your friend is doing. not going to school now.

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Follow up by invitation. Once you’ve found a common interest, ask them if they’d like to hang out sometime after school. Choose an activity that you think you both enjoy.

Ask her if she knows of any good restaurants nearby, if they’d like to have lunch or dinner with you.
If you both love art, maybe you’ll find a gallery, museum, play or band that you can go see together.
Invite your friend to see a movie. If you’re craving a movie, ask your friend if she’d like to go with you. Schedule a time out together after the movie so you have a chance to talk. The cafe is a great place to sit and chat about the movie and whatever comes to mind.

Be friendly

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Smile. A smile is a cordial invitation to everyone. Respond to your eyes with a smile, because who doesn’t want to be around happy people. The simple gesture of smiling can attract others to talk to you. ^{[17] X Research Source}

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Be approachable. Examine your expression and ask yourself if your appearance makes people avoid you. The way you dress and dress can show you’re ready to socialize. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

Pay attention to your body language. Looking down or looking away, even crossed arms and legs are gestures that make you appear closed, and people will be afraid to talk to you.
Wear casual style clothing. If you wear dark clothes or have a bold Gothic style, you may attract Gothic friends. However, others may look at your dark outfit and assume that you just want to be left alone. You should consider wearing brighter colors. Not only will this make you seem more approachable, but it will actually affect your mood and make you happier. ^{[19] X Research Source}

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Make a good friend. Friends must make us feel good. To have a true friend, you have to give what you want to receive. This golden rule is key to cultivating a strong and lasting friendship. ^{[20] X Research Sources}

Be there for your friends when they need you. Friendship should never be one-sided, friendship must be mutually beneficial. You need to give your friend the same amount as you received from him. ^{[21] X Research Source}
Encourage friends. Show that you believe in your friend and support their accomplishments in school and in life. ^{[22] X Research Source}

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Give your friends their own space. Don’t be too clingy or expect them to give you a lot of time and attention. Be there for your friend when they need it and offer to continue to support them, but don’t get upset if they say no because they’re busy or want some alone time.

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Actively engage in conversation. Many people may also be afraid to approach and get to know strangers. If you see someone new or looking shy, take the initiative to talk to them or show them around.

Understanding obstacles

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Find time to make friends. Some people are so busy that they don’t have time for others. Make a schedule to be with your friends like a to-do schedule. Don’t rely on last minute offers. Instead, you should plan ahead and stick to it. ^{[23] X Research Resources} That way you’ll make sure you prioritize your friendships.

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Overcome fear of rejection. One of the biggest obstacles when you expand your network and make friends is the fear of not being accepted. Try not to get upset because someone doesn’t accept your invitation. You also don’t want to be friends with everyone you meet. Have the courage to go out and meet people, and eventually you will meet the person you really are. ^{[24] X Research Sources}

Think about it, maybe the other person is having a hard time and isn’t ready to make new friends at the moment. ^{[25] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}
Understand that rejection may be the other person’s problem, not yours. ^{[26] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

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Build self-esteem. Low self-esteem often manifests as withdrawn, antisocial, and poor communication. ^{[27] X Trusted Source Simply Psychpogy Go to Source} Social situations can be scary if you think people don’t like you or you feel clumsy and weird. Fight the negative voice in your head and understand that you may be being too harsh on yourself.

Others may be just as worried about themselves as you are. Maybe they don’t think about you and judge you as much as you think they do, because they are preoccupied with themselves. ^{[28] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}
Don’t aim for perfection. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be good enough. ^{[29] X Research Sources}
Focus on your own achievements instead of comparing yourself to others. ^{[30] X Research Source}

Advice

Believe in yourself, smile, laugh with friends and be a good friend. If things don’t go as planned, just let it go and keep trying.
Understand that you cannot be friends with everyone. If your friendship doesn’t seem to go smoothly, don’t try to force it. Just let things happen naturally. Even if you don’t succeed, you will have other friends.
Real friends are people with whom you feel safe and confident. If you are good friends, you can trust your friends and they trust you too. Build mutual trust, keep their secrets, and trust them to keep yours.
Treat your friends well and enthusiastically. Never lie to your friends, because this will destroy the friendship.
Don’t rush, because a good friendship takes time to develop.
Follow the golden rule “what you don’t want to happen to you, don’t do to others”.
Find similarities in the person you want to befriend. If you notice that they have the same interests as you, don’t hesitate to start a conversation about it!

Warning

Don’t give up on old friends if they are good people. Try to keep both. If your old friends have problems with your new friends, try to solve them to the best of your ability.
Don’t gossip about your friends behind their backs.
Don’t ignore your friends when you’re talking to someone else you’re trying to be friends with. You can say “wait for me” and come back to them later.

Steps