How to Make Mom Forgive After You Make a Mistake

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This article was co-written by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Moshe Ratson is the CEO of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a training and therapy clinic in New York City. He received his Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona University and has been in therapy for over 10 years.

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At some point in our lives like as a child, teenager or young adult, there are times when we do something stupid that makes our parents angry, and this article is about how let mom forgive you. Sometimes, apologies don’t work and you have to work harder to be forgiven. However, apologizing sincerely and acting as best you can will help your mother let go of your mistake.

Table of Contents

Sincerely apologizing

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Get direct error. Whatever happened, don’t apologize via text or email. Talking to someone in such a situation can be difficult, but expressing and admitting your mistakes directly will help her see your sincerity.

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Sincerely. Use a respectful tone, say sorry clearly. Whispering in your mouth shows that you don’t really see what’s wrong with you.

If you don’t know how to start, say something like, “I’m really sorry for making you angry. I know I shouldn’t fight. I was too aggressive, but I really didn’t want to. Mommy forgive me, okay?”

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Tell the truth. Maybe you want to lie, but don’t, if your mom knows the truth, it’s even worse. You will turn out to be a good child, and it will take a long time for your mother to forgive you.

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Don’t try to talk to your mom when the situation is tough. Let mom calm down a bit. Approach your mother after she has had time to think about the incident. The most important thing is not to argue or things will get worse.

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Choose the right time. Don’t apologize when your mother has to focus on other things, such as cooking. Go to your mom when she’s free and ask if you can talk for a bit. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Be understanding if she doesn’t want to listen to you at that time. Maybe she’s not ready. Wait a moment and ask again.

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Don’t leave it on for too long. You have to see what you do in time. If you wait too long, your mother will think you are not ashamed of what you did.

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Listen to what mom has to say. Listen seriously and try to ask why she thinks you’re wrong. The only way to not do it again is to understand why your mother is angry. Then try to put yourself in your mother’s shoes. Parents are the ones who always want their children to grow up, so look in the direction of the mother. ^{[2] X Research Source}

READ More: How to Be a Knower

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Don’t bring other things into the conversation. Don’t bring up what happened in the past. You will only make your mother remember all the bad things you caused and get even more angry. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

For example, don’t say, “But second brother went out overnight last week and got punished! Why are you mad at me and not him?” Talking about past incidents will only stir up more negative emotions. Instead just say, “I know you’re mad, I really shouldn’t have come home late. I’m sorry.”

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Don’t make excuses for what you did. Excuses will make an apology worthless because it sounds like you are denying your mistake by blaming someone or something. You need to accept that you made a mistake if you want her to forgive you.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m not late because I’m going out, it’s because I have to bring my friends home first.” say “I know it’s dangerous on the street at night, I’m sorry. Next time I’ll be back before the party is over so I can get home on time.”

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Try to make mistakes. An apology will work, but trying to improve the situation will make things better. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, if you break something, try to fix it or find a replacement. If you yell at your sister, be more considerate and kind to your sister, and mom will see it.

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Write an apology letter. This step may seem like the opposite of “Apologize in person,” but it actually complements the verbal apology. However, do not use email or text messages. Write a handwritten letter to your mother about your mistake and the solution you have for the future. A handwritten message takes a lot of thought and time, so your mom will appreciate the thoughtfulness. If you have a knack for drawing, decorate the letter with some symbols you know your mom will appreciate.

You can refer to the following letter: “Dear Mom, I know you were very angry about me hitting Bin. I know you want our relationship to be good because you and aunts are not like that, I understand very well. that. I’m just trying to teach me to be human and help me develop a sisterly relationship with Bin. I will keep the peace in the future, and I hope you can forgive me. Love you, Lan. .”

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Understand that forgiveness also takes time. Sometimes mom forgives you very quickly, but sometimes it takes time. In fact, some psychologists say that forgiveness, like grief, goes through several stages. Your mother may go through denial, inner struggles, anger, and depression before accepting and forgiving, although she may not follow through or even go through all of those stages. . Regardless, remember that you have to work to get forgiveness and trust back. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

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Know that even mom is not perfect. Mom may have been wrong or even mad at you for longer than you think.

Sometimes mothers get angry for some other reason. Not necessarily your fault. You have a bad day with your sister, and at the same time your mom has a bad day (or even a week!) at work and things go off the rails.

Show your repentance with good deeds

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Regulatory compliance. You probably don’t want your mom to get angrier by breaking another rule in the house. So be obedient. If there’s an opportunity to prove useful, take it, don’t dismiss it. You need to appear to be useful.

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Cooperate, don’t resist. Ask your mom if she can give you advice on future self-improvement plans. ^{[6] X Research Source}

For example, your problem is often coming home late. Ask your mother how you should fix the problem. Maybe you should set your alarm 30 minutes before you need to be home and ask your mom to remind you to set it every time you go out.

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Keep calm. Don’t lose control and make decisions like run away from home or run away from home. You may feel angry that your mom doesn’t care. However, she is angry because she is worried and wishes the best for you. Mom wants you to do better. If you’re feeling lonely, try talking to a close friend, another parent, or a sibling if you’d like to share.

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Don’t repeat the same mistake. If you keep making the same mistake over and over again, your mother will doubt the sincerity of your apology.

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Actively doing housework. Take out the trash yourself without waiting for a request. Wash more clothes. Offer to babysit or buy groceries for mom. Cook dinner before your mom can do it. Your mother will see that you are trying to correct the mistake.

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Do kind things for mom. Bring breakfast to mom’s room. Buy flowers for mom. Draw a picture for her so she can bring it to work. Let your mom know how much you love her.

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Do things together that you know your mom will enjoy. Take Grandma for a walk in the park even if you’re not very interested, or ask her to go to the library with you.

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Be emotional, don’t get upset. Cuddling will show her that you want to do better. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Respect

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Show listening. When your mother is nagging or talking to you, listen attentively and don’t argue back. Accept that you were wrong and that she needs to educate you.

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Mother should not be ignored. She just wants to help and when your mom wants to talk, take the time to listen. Respond to her words and think about it. Even at the end of the conversation, you can reassure your mom that it was just an incident and that the same thing won’t happen again, so she’ll know that you’ve reflected on it and that your apology is a no-brainer. sincerely.

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Speak in a respectful tone. When answering your mother’s question, don’t be upset. Just talk calmly, answer questions correctly, and be honest.

For example, if your mom asks, “What are you thinking?”, don’t say “I don’t know, you’re stupid!” with a soft voice. Say something more specific, “I didn’t think it through. Next time I’ll try to do better.”

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Accept punishment without complaining. By doing so, she will see that you respect her decision.

Mom scolds you not because she hates you. Your mom cares and doesn’t want you to make the same bad choices in the future. Mom wants you to be safe and learn to grow up better. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

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Be mature. Do not show hatred or say offensive or hateful words. Do not throw things or slam doors. You just make your mom angrier, and then you’ll both feel sad about it. ^{[9] X Research Source}

In addition, your mother will respect her child’s mature behavior and forgive faster.
If mom says “You always say that and you don’t change!” then don’t argue. Say you understood, and ask if she can help you do better in the future.

Advice

Don’t avoid your mom unless she’s really angry and you don’t want her to see you getting angry again.
Make a list of things you will do to help your parents or siblings. Sometimes your brother or sister can talk to your mother and she will forgive you.
Do not raise your voice to your mother.
When you do something wrong that makes you regret, instead of crying, show your guilt by changing your actions. Your mother will notice the change. Always say sorry. Even if she doesn’t believe you, she still wants to hear it. And most importantly, an action speaks louder than a thousand words, so make a change now!
Understand that she loves you very much and tell her that you do too with all your heart.
Don’t argue back because it will take her longer to forgive you.
Be kind to your mother.
Don’t say sorry too much, your mom will think you just lied.
Don’t interrupt when mom is talking.
Show your remorse by giving a small gift your mother likes.

Attention

Don’t talk nonsense with your mother.
Don’t try to make excuses, or things will get worse.
Absolutely do not retaliate against your mother after being scolded (such as locking her outside, breaking her glasses, etc.) Things will only get worse.
Never try to run away.

Steps

Sincerely apologizing

Show your repentance with good deeds

Respect

Advice

Attention

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