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This article is co-authored by wikiHow writer Eric McClure. Eric McClure is a staff editor at wikiHow, specializing in editing, researching and creating content since 2019. A former poet and translator, his works have appeared in Carcinogenic Poetry, Shot Glass Journal, Prairie Margins and The Rusty Nail. His e-book, The Internet, has also been published in TL;DR. He won the Paul Carrpl Award for outstanding achievement in creative writing in 2014, he was also the featured vocalist at Poetry Foundation’s Open Door Reading Series 2015. Eric holds a BA in English from the University Illinois in Chicago, and a Master of Secondary Education from DePaul University.
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 27,302 times.
When you’re in love, it’s only natural that you want to be with the person you love for the rest of your life. However, you may feel dissatisfied while waiting for your partner to propose. If you want to get married, focus on building healthy, strong, and lasting relationships. Besides that, you also need to learn how to be the best version of yourself because this will make you and your lover feel happier. Finally, if necessary, you can try a few hints to let him know you’re thinking about getting married.
Steps
Build healthy relationships
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Choose to marry someone whose personal values are similar to yours. Your values are things like your views on family, money, beliefs, and behavior. If you and your partner have the same views on these things, it will be easier for the two of you to get along in the process of building a married life. [1] X Research Source
- Sometimes conflicting values do not affect the marriage, but require both parties to compromise and agree more; These issues can also be the cause of future conflicts.
- For example, if you believe in the importance of church parenting, but your boyfriend doesn’t like the influence of religion, it’s easy to argue about it when you have children.
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Take the time to get to know your partner’s views on marriage. Marriage is a big deal, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be as eager to look forward to it as you are. As the two of you get to know each other better, ask questions that will help you see what he thinks about marriage in general. If he’s not ready to get married, there’s nothing you can do to change his mind. [2] X Research Source
- For example, if he shares stories about old relationships, you need to notice if there was anything in the past that made him afraid to connect. The guy who has been hurt will need more time to open up and consider marriage.
- Maybe he’ll say, “Marriage is just a piece of paper,” and that could mean he has no intention of getting married yet.
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Be honest with each other. If you want him to propose, make him trust you completely. Likewise, if he’s the man you want to marry, you need to feel that he’s trustworthy too. This is a trust that requires openness and sincerity on both sides. Don’t lie to him and don’t forgive his dishonesty either. [3] X Research Sources
- If your gut tells you to hide something, like having lunch with a friend, try to think about why you feel that way. If he objected for good reason, like your friend has a crush on you, maybe you should give up on having lunch with them. If he has a habit of being overly judgmental or controlling, or you feel like he wants you to keep your distance from your friends, that could be a sign of abusive behavior.
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Take your responsibility every time you argue. Conflict is inevitable in a relationship. If disagreements arise and lead to arguments, you should apologize for what you have said or done. This way, he’ll see that the both of you can work through things in a mature way, and this will also help him overcome his fear of marriage. [4] X Research Sources
- During an argument, you should try to articulate your feelings instead of using slurs or becoming impatient. Don’t forget to ask him to respect you.
- Don’t let anyone manipulate you into taking all the blame when conflicts arise. In most cases, both people contribute to the disagreement.
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Praise and reassure him. If you want him to feel like he can build a happy marriage with you, take the opportunity to compliment him. Don’t be afraid to let him know how much you feel and how important he is to you, and compliment him on the qualities and traits you like best in him. [5] X Research Sources
- For example, you could say “You’re a very hardworking person and I always appreciate this from you” or “I love your smile!”
- When he’s nervous about the job interview, you can say, “You’re so good and you can even do more than the position asks. If they don’t hire you, they don’t deserve you!”
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Stand by him in difficult times. In a healthy and stable marriage, two people need to encourage each other, solve problems together, and support each other when things go wrong. By showing that you are also a strong spiritual support, he will look forward to walking alongside you. [6] X Research Sources
- For example, when he’s sad because a loved one has passed away, you just need to be quiet next to him and hold his hand. Don’t force him to say anything – he will say it when he wants to.
- If he’s stressed about work, you can prepare a delicious meal or take him out to dinner to clear his mind.
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Watch out for warning signs in a relationship. Sometimes it’s just because you’re so engrossed in love that you just can’t stop and notice the warning signs early on. For example, if he grabs your body, pushes you, or yells at you during an argument, this type of behavior is likely to continue in the future. [7] X Research Sources
- Some other warning signs include trying to separate you from family and friends, putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself, blaming you, or trying to control your finances.
Tip: If you believe you are in an abusive relationship, talk to family, friends or a support group that can help you get out of the situation safely.
Self-love
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Follow your own interests and encourage him to do the same. In a healthy relationship, both people will maintain their own interests and friendships. Not only will this help you feel more complete and confident, but it will also increase the strength of the relationship. A little less time together will make you miss each other more and have more to talk about when you see each other! [8] X Research Sources
- For example, you can cycle around with your best friend while he watches football with his “buddies”.
- Of course, if two people have similar interests, let’s have fun together! However, don’t be afraid to do things alone.
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Take time to take care of yourself . When the opportunity arises, you should make taking care of yourself a priority. Thus, you will feel happier and happier; Besides, he will also be happy to know that you care about your own life. This may cause him to propose to you, but even if he doesn’t, you still get a lot of benefits from taking care of yourself! [9] X Research Source
- Self-care can be things like relaxing in a soapy bath and intensive hair treatment, but it can also be anything that makes you mentally, spiritually, or emotionally better, like such as yoga or meditation, hiking in silence, or journaling.
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Repeat positive affirmations when you feel a lack of confidence. Most people still feel self-doubt from time to time. When you feel like you’re not good enough, list your good qualities, then look in the mirror and say those things out loud to yourself. [10] X Research Source
- For example, you could say, “I’m a good friend and I’m always trying to help others feel better about myself. I deserve to be loved.”
- If you feel self-conscious about not being proposed, remind yourself of the good things he’s done for you. For example, you could say, “Nam didn’t mind coming to see me the day I failed his Economics exam. I know he loves me, even though we’re not engaged yet.”
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Try to be financially independent. Being able to contribute to building a family and making money-related decisions will help you feel more secure. Pursue a career that matches your personality, aptitude, and interests. When working, you should work hard and respect your superiors to accumulate opportunities for career advancement. [11] X Research Source
- In some cases, financial worries may be the reason he hasn’t proposed to you, so being financially stable will help relieve his stress.
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Exercise regularly to stay healthy and reduce stress. Practicing 20-30 minutes a day is one of the ways to help you relax. Try walking in the afternoon as a basic form of cardiovascular exercise. You can also join a yoga class, play a sport like swimming or volleyball, exercise or follow fitness videos right in your living room. [12] X Research Source
- In addition to the stress-reducing benefits, exercise also helps keep your body slim and strong, increasing your confidence.
- Looking good and feeling better about yourself will make you more attractive to your partner, so it’ll be hard for him to resist proposing to you.
Tip: Try working out together so you can stay together and stay healthy!
Let him know you’re interested in getting married
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Let’s talk about the future together. If you want to guess how interested he is in marriage, try mentioning his future plans. For example, you could talk about where you want to live, about having children, or the career you want to pursue. Try accidentally mentioning him in those plans and see how he reacts.
- For example, you could say “I want us to do a trip to Europe together”. It silently says that he is part of your dream.
- If his answer is “I really like that!”, he’s probably thinking about your future, too. If he’s just giving you a vague answer like, “Oh yeah, maybe,” that means he doesn’t want to stick around as much as you do.
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Spend time with happy couples. Meeting people with fulfilling relationships may make him think of proposing to you. If either of you know friends with healthy, strong marriages, plan to meet them when you can. [13] X Research Source
- For example, you can cook together, go to the movies or eat together, or even travel together.
- Going to the wedding party together is another way to get him thinking about marriage. [14] X Research Source
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Point to the engagement rings you like as a hint of marriage. If you really want him to know you’re looking forward to your engagement, find a magazine or website that specializes in engagement ring designs. When you’re with him, just scroll through the pages and point out some of your favorite rings. [15] X Research Source
- Not only will this let him know that you’re thinking about marriage, but it will also let him know your tastes. For example, maybe he thinks you like a classic ring set with big diamonds, and you prefer modern or uniquely designed rhinestone rings.
- Try not to point at rings that are beyond his ability to pay. If he thinks he can’t accommodate your options, he may be hesitant to buy a ring.
- If you don’t want a ring, let him know instead of showing him the rings. This still lets him know that you’re thinking about getting married.
Tip: You can absolutely talk about engagement rings with your lover. However, don’t talk about the wedding all day until he has proposed, or he will feel overwhelmed and pressured.
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Propose to him if you think he’s ready but haven’t acted on it yet. Don’t be afraid to be proactive! If you really want to get engaged but he is still “quiet”, why can’t you speak up. You can propose or exchange rings, but make it clear that you want to marry him. [16] X Research Source
- Try to think of ways to make your proposal special and unforgettable, like asking him to go on a first date or a romantic setting. When you get there, you’ll tell him how important he is to you and offer to spend the rest of your life with him!
Warning
- Don’t pressure or trap him to marry you. If you do, you will have an unhappy marriage that ends quickly.
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This article is co-authored by wikiHow writer Eric McClure. Eric McClure is a staff editor at wikiHow, specializing in editing, researching and creating content since 2019. A former poet and translator, his works have appeared in Carcinogenic Poetry, Shot Glass Journal, Prairie Margins and The Rusty Nail. His e-book, The Internet, has also been published in TL;DR. He won the Paul Carrpl Award for outstanding achievement in creative writing in 2014, he was also the featured vocalist at Poetry Foundation’s Open Door Reading Series 2015. Eric holds a BA in English from the University Illinois in Chicago, and a Master of Secondary Education from DePaul University.
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 27,302 times.
When you’re in love, it’s only natural that you want to be with the person you love for the rest of your life. However, you may feel dissatisfied while waiting for your partner to propose. If you want to get married, focus on building healthy, strong, and lasting relationships. Besides that, you also need to learn how to be the best version of yourself because this will make you and your lover feel happier. Finally, if necessary, you can try a few hints to let him know you’re thinking about getting married.
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