How to Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is an important but difficult step in communication skills. If you want to improve your eye contact, you can practice on your own to make the best impression. If you can make eye contact, you will become a better listener, more effective communicator, and more persuasive speaker.

Table of Contents

Communication Practice

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Try and relax as much as you can . Similar to other things, the more you think about what you’re doing, the more self-doubt you feel and the more shy you feel. Your stress can mislead you as dishonest and all efforts will be worthless.

Often, making eye contact with a more authoritative, influential person is even more difficult. Unfortunately, there are times when you have to exude confidence to get the full attention of your audience, making relaxation more important than ever.
If you’re going to an important meeting or interview, practice breathing so that your heart slows down and the oxygen helps you relax. A few deep breaths can help calm you down a lot.

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Focus on one eye of the other person. It can be difficult to look into both eyes of the other person, so you can focus on just one side or one spot of their face.

If possible, try switching between your eyes instead of just focusing on one side. Look to one side for about 10 seconds, then switch to the other side.

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Find a nearby spot to correct your vision. When you look at the bridge of the other person’s nose, eyebrows, or just below the person’s eyes, they will still think you are looking into their eyes, but you don’t feel as scared as when making real eye contact. The other person is indistinguishable so you can focus on your listening skills to become a good communicator.

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Stop looking the other person in the eye and nod or make other gestures while listening. Sometimes you should stop making eye contact and make other gestures instead of looking away because it’s uncomfortable. You don’t need to make eye contact when nodding, smiling, or laughing. These are all natural and comfortable things to help you rest when you need it.

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Try to keep your eyes focused when talking and listening. Making eye contact while listening is hard, but trying to think of something to say is even harder. You can stop making eye contact from time to time, but try to keep your face and eyes in their direction while you speak.

If you look up when talking, people may suspect you are lying, looking down shows you are confused. It is best to look straight ahead, even if you feel uncomfortable and cannot continue to make eye contact, you can look at the other person’s ear or chin but do not look up or down.

Practice at Home

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Practice at home to remind yourself to make eye contact. The important thing about making eye contact is that you have to remember that you need to do this. If you have a habit of looking down at your shoes, practice when you are alone to change the habit of looking down to focusing on the face. You can practice on TV, in front of a mirror, or whatever way you think works.

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Practice on TV. One of the easiest ways to practice eye contact when alone is to watch TV. Focus on making eye contact with the characters on the screen and practice skills that can be applied to everyday conversations.

Of course, eye contact with the character on TV will be different from the real person. The purpose of this exercise is to practice skill, not feeling.

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Try watching vlogs. If you don’t have a TV, try going to YouTube and looking for vlogs or videos where viewers make eye contact with the screen. There are many videos like this and they are completely free, this method can help you understand what it feels like to make eye contact during a real-life conversation.

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Try video chat. If you have a close friend you enjoy chatting with, try using Skype or other video chat apps to practice eye contact. This method is simpler than practicing with real people, because the two people communicate through the computer screen.

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Practice looking into your own eyes in the mirror. As above, the feeling of looking into your own eyes is not the same as looking into someone else’s eyes, but you can train your eyes to focus on the eyes in the mirror. Just take a few minutes before or after you shower to practice eye contact in the mirror instead of avoiding your own gaze. ^{[1] X Research Source}

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Learn to pretend to make eye contact if you have a disability or medical condition that makes eye contact difficult. People with autism, anxiety disorders, and others may find eye contact intimidating or overwhelming. Don’t sacrifice your abilities for a pleasant conversation.

Look at a spot near their eyes, such as their nose, mouth, or chin.
If they notice you’re not making eye contact (which is unlikely), say something like, “I have a hard time making eye contact. I find myself listening better if I don’t have to make eye contact. Friend”.

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Humble. You can’t force yourself to be embarrassed every time you look someone in the eye, and instantly become a confident person with a gaze that shoots “sparks” at the other person. In fact, this is a bit confusing. You’ve started making eye contact but are still practicing, so take it slow.

If you can already make eye contact with the other person in a conversation every day, this is also considered success. You don’t have to constantly look the other person in the eye during a long conversation to be considered progress. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Make a good impression

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Practice other listening skills. During a conversation, if you are completely focused on what the other person is saying, you will be less worried about making eye contact. Nodding, repeating important information, using body language or other listening skills is just as important as eye contact. To listen actively, you need to pay attention to the following points:

Sit back in the chair.
Nod.
Listen carefully and repeat important information.
Process the information just said.
Don’t wait your turn to speak.
Answer exactly what has just been said.

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Find a pleasant environment. When you listen, you can make eye contact 80% of the time in conversation, the rest you can make other gestures while listening. Stay calm and don’t think too much to let things happen naturally.

Avoid staring. Eye contact is good but staring at other people is scary. You should relax and avoid staring into the other person’s eyes. Remind yourself that you just want to have a comfortable conversation with the person, without any worries or stress.

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Show the attractiveness of the eyes. Don’t turn away immediately when someone calls you. If someone calls you, don’t look away as if you’ve just been released from a boring conversation. Be a little hesitant before turning to the caller.

Looking the other way and immediately turning to look at the other party is a good idea. However, keep in mind that dangerous or urgent situations need to be prioritized.

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Smile with your eyes . You have to relax your eyebrows, or you will look very intimidating or suspicious when making eye contact. Try to keep your eyes wide open, don’t squint because the other person may think you don’t like what they say, and don’t frown as this can be seen as an expression of anger.

Stand in front of a mirror and watch your eyes when you smile, frown, or grimace. Observe the difference in the eyes. Practice smiling with your eyes even if you don’t have the habit.

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Always make eye contact during a job interview. Eye contact and listening are extremely important during a job interview, or any other time you want to show care and respect. Potential employers will think you’re hiding something or that you’re not confident if you can’t make eye contact, and you could lose that opportunity.

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Make eye contact when dating. Looking your partner in the eye shows affection and respect, two important factors that make up a great date. When you’re hanging out with someone you like, look them in the eye as often as possible because eyes are the windows to the soul.

Eye contact is also a way to gauge the other person’s interest, but don’t jump to conclusions. If the other person has trouble making eye contact, it could mean that they want to go home or they are just as anxious as you are.

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Make eye contact when you want to prove your point. If you’re arguing with someone or having a heated argument, you’re more likely to avoid eye contact. This is an act of showing a lack of confidence, or procrastination with the person you are talking to, this is taboo. If this is the case, looking the other person in the eye is a decisive act that helps you show confidence that what you say is true. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

The person threatening you will want you to look away. Break that thought by looking them straight in the eye.

Advice

You can practice by imagining the face of the person you are talking to on the phone or chatting online.
If you can’t maintain eye contact because you’re bored, stop talking for a while and change the subject.
Making eye contact for a short time but often will help make the other person uncomfortable.
Use a polite excuse to withdraw from the conversation: “I don’t mind the time! I’m sorry I have an appointment. Nice to talk to you.”
Imagine you are a confident person making eye contact. Visualize the importance of getting to know the other person and look them in the eye.

Warning

If you try looking at the other person’s eyebrows or nose bridge, just look there. Don’t look at the entire face or they will think you are looking for a pimple or a mole on their face.
Look into the other person’s eyes, don’t stare ! Looking directly at the other person too strongly will make you look fake, worse than look like a stalker. Remember to be confident!

Steps

Communication Practice

Practice at Home

Make a good impression

Advice

Warning

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