How to Make a Man Want a Serious Relationship with You

When you’re looking for a serious relationship, you may feel like the prospects you meet aren’t serious. One-night stands or quick “rains” do not lead to a long-term relationship. Luckily, there are ways to turn the situation around and make him want to have a serious relationship with you.

Table of Contents

State your expectations clearly.

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Let him know from the start that you want a real relationship. You can even mention it on your first date or the first time you meet. When the two of you talk about your expectations for your potential partner, you should let him know you want commitment, not just passing fun. ^{[1] X Research Source}

For example, you could say, “I know a lot of people my age don’t want commitment, but I really want to find someone serious. So what are you looking for?”
If he just wants to “have fun,” that’s a hint that you should give up and find someone else.

Spend intimate time together.

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Dating and meeting privately. Try to meet in person at least once a week, especially if you’re still getting to know each other. The more time two people spend doing interesting things, the deeper the connection will be. ^{[2] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

When you two meet, talk or do something together instead of just watching a movie or playing a game.

Question his life.

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Get to know him. As the two of you spend time together, you should get to know his wants, needs, passions, and goals in life. Get to know his background and life before meeting you along with his wishes for the future. This strengthens the bond between the two of you and makes him realize that you like the real him more than sex. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

For example, you could ask, “What are your goals for the next 10 years?”, “How was your childhood?”, “Do you get along well with your parents?”, “If you could go back, you could ask. in the past, what would you change?”
If he is a good talker, he will ask you the same questions so that you can both understand each other better.

Only go to bed with him after the second or third date.

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Don’t make love to him on the first date. While you may feel it’s the right thing to do when your emotions are high, it can affect your future prospects. Instead, wait until your second or third date. Try to get to know him and build a connection first. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

It’s okay if you sleep with him on the first date! Just make sure you have clear boundaries and expectations about what you want.

Ignore all quick “rain clouds”.

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Don’t leave everything to spend the night at his house. If you get a “Honey” text late at night, ignore it. You can talk to him the next morning that you won’t be his “comfort” option. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

If you’re always up for the rain, he won’t see you as a potential partner for a serious relationship.

Don’t send sexually suggestive messages.

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Sexy texting can make you feel good, but it sends the wrong message. When the two of you are not yet lovers, he will probably send flirty or sexually suggestive texts. Just let him know that you can chat in person, and don’t respond to sexually suggestive texts. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

If the interaction between two people involves only sex or making love, the relationship will hardly be serious.

Give him a chance to pursue you.

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Make sure he takes the initiative to ask you out and ask you out just as much as you do. If he texts you asking to hang out, don’t reply right away. Or, you reply that you are not available on that day, and ask to change the appointment date. When you seem mysterious, he’ll be more interested. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Try to stay active in a 50/50 ratio. If he notices that you always take the initiative first, he will gradually lose interest.

Spend time with him after making love.

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Don’t be in a hurry to leave after you two make love. Instead, spend time with him and chat or prepare a late-night snack. You can even sleep over if he agrees. This makes him change his mind and see you as a potential partner for a serious relationship, instead of just a “comfort” object. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

If the two of you are at your place, invite him to stay the night.

Don’t sleep with him on every date.

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Sometimes make him depressed so that he can’t sit still. When you two have a great date and he thinks he’s going to be lucky tonight, you can say go home. If he gets the chance to sleep with you every time you two meet, he’ll assume that’s what you’re looking for. ^{[9] X Research Source}

You can do this every three or four meetings.

Continue to maintain interests and friendships.

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Let him know you still have your own life. If you have plans and he asks you out, say you’re busy. Make sure he knows that you have your own interests and other things besides dating. ^{[10] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

You can also post photos on social media while going somewhere.

Always be confident.

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Don’t break your rules for someone. If you don’t get along with this guy, maybe you will get along with someone else. Don’t sacrifice your values for someone else, and remember that you are a wonderful person who deserves to be treated with respect. ^{[11] X Research Source}

There are plenty of guys out there who are willing to commit to building a serious relationship with you.

Advice

If you feel like he just wants to have fun crossing the street, it’s better to end the relationship.

Steps