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This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 53,245 times.
Romantic relationships often take a lot of effort to maintain but will bring you much joy and well-deserved rewards. While you can’t really make your partner happy, with effort and kindness, you can give your girlfriend what she needs to feel joy in your relationship. You will get to know your girlfriend as an independent individual and know what she needs, wants, and values. Also, the other important thing that you need to remember is to always support and respect her, and always find ways to keep the love alive.
Steps
Make her happy
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Say good things. Everyone loves to hear kind and encouraging words from their lover. Saying positive things to your girlfriend will help her feel loved and appreciated; From there, your relationship also becomes better. So, every time you notice something lovely about her, don’t just keep it in your heart – share it with your crush! [1] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- Say the familiar “I love you” or other expressions of your love for her. For example, “You are the light of my life” or “I am so happy that we are together”.
- You can also compliment her by saying, “You did a great job today!” or “You have very beautiful eyes.”
- Also, use words of gratitude or appreciation. You can say, “Thank you for coming to my show. I’m really cool!”
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Willing to help her. Helping is a way to show your care for your girlfriend and make her feel special. Take the initiative to help without waiting for her to ask for help. [2] X Research Source
- For example, you could say, “You’ve been working hard all day. Let me cook tonight’s dinner!”
Tip: Every time you help her, don’t act like you need something in return or complain about the job. It makes you look unhappy and reduces the meaning of your actions.
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Occasionally give her gifts. Giving gifts is a way to bring joy to your girlfriend and help her realize your feelings. You can give her a gift on a special occasion, when she’s unhappy or for no reason at all. Don’t worry about spending a fortune on an expensive gift – she’ll appreciate your action, even if it’s a small or simple gift. [3] X Research Sources
- The gift will be more meaningful when bringing her own unique features or creating a unique mark for the relationship. For example, you could frame a nice photo of the two of you or buy a mug with her favorite quote.
- When giving her a gift, you can say, “I thought of you when I saw this!”
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Make time for her. Spending time with your girlfriend is one of the ways to strengthen a relationship and help her feel loved. Schedule a romantic date night or alone time for the two of you at least once a week. [4] X Research Sources
- For example, two people having dinner together and watching a movie, going for a walk, or relaxing at home and playing games.
- Take turns deciding what to do every time you’re together. Letting her decide from time to time is a way to show that you appreciate her wants and needs.
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Give her intimate gestures. For many people, cuddling is an important part of a romantic relationship. Show affection for your girlfriend by holding hands, hugging, or rubbing her back. Just make sure you know what gestures she’s comfortable with and respect when she doesn’t want to be intimate! [5] X Research Sources
- For many couples, sex is important to maintaining a healthy relationship, but intimate gestures shouldn’t be overlooked either. Your girlfriend will feel more comfortable and enjoy intimate moments when your embrace doesn’t have a different purpose! [6] X Research Sources
Become someone who always loves and supports her
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Always be honest and trustworthy in your girlfriend’s eyes. Good relationships are formed from honesty and trust. Let your girlfriend know that she can count on you for your honesty – don’t lie or hide the truth. Besides, always keep your promise so that she can trust you. [7] X Research Sources
- If she asks you to keep something a secret, don’t tell anyone without her permission!
Warning: Being honest doesn’t mean being rude or unkind. Don’t say harsh or harsh words and make excuses that it’s a “disgusting truth” or “that’s why I say it because of love”. [8] X Research Sources
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Show kindness and respect in action. This may sound very normal, but your lover will be very happy when you treat her with love and respect. That means not only being present and being nice to her, but also respecting her limits, listening, and apologizing when you make a mistake. You can also show respect by: [9] X Research Sources
- Do not raise your voice, slander or insult her.
- Treat her fairly.
- Respect your partner’s wishes when she asks you to stop doing something.
- Protect her from people who behave disrespectfully.
- Give her her own space and time for herself or other friends.
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Always available when she needs it. To maintain a fulfilling and happy relationship, you need to make an effort to be with your partner in both good and bad times. That means you’re not only there to comfort her when she’s having a hard time, but you’re also there to share her joy when things are going well. [10] X Research Source
- Encourage her when she faces challenges. Congratulate her and let her know how proud you are of her accomplishing her goals.
- When she’s having a hard time, be there to support her with words and actions. Ask what you can do to help her.
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Listen attentively when she speaks. Good communication skills are the factors that help you maintain a relationship and bring happiness to both of you. [11] X Research Sources When your girlfriend shares something, you should give her your full attention and listen without interrupting. Let her know that what she has to say matters to you and that you really want to hear and understand her.
- Don’t use the phone when she’s talking to you. Look her in the eye, nod, and say “I see” or “I see” to let her know you’re listening. Ask questions or paraphrase what she says to make sure you understand what she’s saying.
- Try not to give advice unless she asks for it.
- Likewise, don’t be afraid to open up and share your feelings with her. She will understand your feelings better when you don’t hesitate to tell your secrets.
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Confession. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. If you make a mistake in your relationship, your partner will probably be disappointed, sad, or angry at you. When that happens, you should stop yourself from blaming or making excuses for yourself. Admit that you were wrong and apologize sincerely. [12] X Research Source
- When you apologize, take responsibility for your feelings and actions. Don’t say things that sound like you’re blaming your girlfriend.
- For example, don’t say, “I’m sorry for getting angry, but I wouldn’t have raised my voice if you weren’t late.” Instead, say, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. You got angry and that’s not the right response.”
- If you want to refer to your girlfriend’s actions, use a first-person pronoun to emphasize your feelings instead of accusing them. For example, “When you’re late, I feel like my time doesn’t matter to you.”
Understand what makes her happy
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Take the time to understand your partner’s interests. Your girlfriend is an independent individual with her own hopes, fears, wants and needs. As you get to know her better and what makes her special, it’s easier to know what you should do to make her happy. Find out what your partner is interested in and enjoys doing. You should be involved and show interest in the things that matter most to her. [13] X Research Source
- For example, if your partner says she likes video games, try asking what games she likes and if you can join.
- If she likes to write, ask her permission to read her work.
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Talk to your lover about what she needs and wants. You won’t know what your girlfriend wants out of a relationship without asking. Asking about your lover not only makes her feel that you care, but also makes it easier for you to accompany her. Encourage her to say what she needs and ask her simple questions like: [14] X Research Source
- “What do you want to do today?”
- “What can I do to help you?”
- “Do you want to talk about that?”
- “Are you having fun?”
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Avoid making assumptions about girlfriends. Inference can ruin a relationship. [15] X Source of Research Don’t make the common mistake of inferring that you know how your partner feels, thinks, or wants. When unsure, ask!
- For example, don’t assume that she likes to watch romantic movies because it’s “a girl’s hobby.” Maybe you’ll find out that her ideal date is to visit the zoo or go to a pub game.
- Don’t assume she is happy with your love. Ask her questions from time to time and listen to her thoughts. For example, you could say, “How would you feel if we went out to dinner more often?”
Advice: Don’t assume that your lover knows your thoughts and feelings. If you have any questions, raise the issue with her with love and respect.
Keep the fire for love
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Do things together that you both enjoy. Having fun together is a great way to add a positive feeling to a relationship. Participating in activities that you both enjoy not only creates fun, but also strengthens the relationship. So make time for both of you to have fun together. [16] X Research Source
- For example, two people will watch a game together if sports are a common interest for both of them.
Do you know yet? Studies show that the happiest couples spend time playing and having fun together! [17] X Research Source
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Try new experiences together. Besides doing favorite activities together, two people can keep the relationship burning by stepping out of their comfort zone and trying new things together. Here’s how to help you and your girlfriend create unforgettable memories and keep the love alive. [18] X Research Sources
- For example, the two of you could explore new lands together, take a class on a topic you’ve both always wanted to learn about, or start a shared hobby.
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Get to know her friends and family. Your lover will be happy if her other relationships continue to thrive while loving you. By taking care of her friends and family, you’re showing respect for an important part of her life. Moreover, this is a way for two people to have fun together and meet many other people! Schedule time so that you can do some group activities with your girlfriend instead of just meeting the two of you alone. [19] X Research Source
- Likewise, introduce your girlfriend to your friends and family. Sometimes you can invite your lover to events with your relatives and friends.
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Occasionally surprise her with something romantic or fun. Spending time together is important, but surprises also help make a relationship more special. [20] X Research Resources Plan a secret date, give her a surprise gift for no reason, or surprise her by cooking her favorite dessert yourself.
- Don’t worry about having to prepare the perfect surprise. It could be something as simple as a piece of paper with a love note somewhere for her to find by accident.
Connell Barrett
Marriage and Love Expert
Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
Connell Barrett
Marriage and Love Expert
Marriage and Love Expert
Try to make her feel special. We all have a need to be special. A lot of relationships go awry because one or both people no longer make the other feel like they’re unique; So today, ask yourself what you can do to make that person feel “lifted like an egg, inspired like a flower”, appreciated and loved. For example, you would tell your lover that she is very beautiful, or send a sweet text or text saying that you are missing her.
X
This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 53,245 times.
Romantic relationships often take a lot of effort to maintain but will bring you much joy and well-deserved rewards. While you can’t really make your partner happy, with effort and kindness, you can give your girlfriend what she needs to feel joy in your relationship. You will get to know your girlfriend as an independent individual and know what she needs, wants, and values. Also, the other important thing that you need to remember is to always support and respect her, and always find ways to keep the love alive.
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