How to make a guy stop angry after an argument

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This article was co-written by Liana Georgoulis, PsyD. Liana Georgoulis is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 10 years of experience, currently the clinical chair of Coast Psychpogical Services in Los Angeles. She received her Doctor of Psychology degree from Pepperdine University in 2009. Her clinic offers cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples. .

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Dealing with an angry guy after an argument is more painful than the fight itself. You’ll be burdened all day with the thought that he’s mad at you, even if you feel it’s your fault. However, this feeling doesn’t have to be exhausting – to calm a guy down, you just need to be honest and open with him, and choose the right time to talk.

Table of Contents

Make up with your boyfriend after an argument

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Give him time and space. When you’ve just had an argument with your boyfriend, you’ll probably be impatient to fix things right away. However, if he’s really mad, maybe you should back off for a while. Yes, you want to see him happy again quickly, but give him at least a few days until he seems calmer and more willing to talk. No matter how impatient you are, trying to talk to him too soon can lead to another argument or even bigger misunderstanding.

If he ignores you and acts cold when you approach him, he’s not ready yet. Don’t try to force.
When he makes eye contact with you at least once, he’s ready to talk.

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Find the right time and place to talk when he’s ready. Once you’ve waited long enough for your boyfriend to calm down and talk, you should find a quiet place where you can both have a productive private conversation. Make sure to pick the right time when he’s not pressured into anything else and looks like he wants to talk. This can help keep things going.

Let him know that you want to talk instead of suddenly opening a conversation that surprises him and makes him passive. Even if he doesn’t expect the conversation, he’d rather be forewarned than surprised.
Wherever you are talking, you need to make sure the two of you are not easily interrupted by others.

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Sorry – and be honest. If you feel that you have messed things up, then you should be upfront about it. Don’t just say, “I’m sorry you were mad at me…” and blame him for overreacting ^{[1] X Research Source} . Instead, look him in the eye, speak slowly, dismiss any distractions, and say, “I’m so sorry for what I did.” You can get to the point and properly explain how you feel, why you did it, and how it hurts you to know that you hurt him. This depends on what you feel and are willing to feel. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Of course, if he’s the one who’s wronged you, don’t apologize just to let things go, and think about whether you need him in your life.

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Listen if he wants to talk. If you’ve said your part and he’s willing to listen, then you should listen when he’s expressing his feelings. ^{[3] X Research Source} You can look him in the eye, don’t fidget and really pay attention to what he’s saying. You might be surprised to know how he feels. Avoid interrupting to argue when he’s talking or acting like you don’t agree with a word he says. Show that you want to hear him first.

Even if you feel he misinterpreted what happened, you should still listen to his story. Once he has said his part, you can both discuss what happened further to reach an agreement and make peace.
If you really listen, you may even learn that your boyfriend has more to say than you think. You may even realize that you accidentally hurt him without knowing it.

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Show affection. Have you made up with him yet? Congratulation! Now the two of you can continue to enjoy life, as long as you try not to repeat the same mistakes. Give him a hug or kiss, and caress him tenderly to “strengthen the peace.” ^{[4] X Research Source} Just make sure he’s really comfortable and you’re not making him uncomfortable. Obviously, you shouldn’t use cuddling — kissing or more — to try to calm him down, as this isn’t a long-term solution.

When the two of you are making up, a few cuddles will be needed to strengthen the bond between the two of you. Just a pat on the hand, a squeeze on the shoulder, or a kiss on the cheek can help reconnect. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

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Tell him how much you care about him. As you return to loving and cuddling, you and your boyfriend can begin to become more intimate. Don’t hesitate to let him know how much he means to you, how confused you are when he’s angry, and how glad you are to have him back in your life. Be honest about how much you love him, even showing him how much you love his sense of humor, intelligence, and other aspects of his personality.

Don’t try to please him or say you’re madly in love with him if you really don’t. Be honest about how you feel for him.
Let him know how sad your life has been since the two of you argued, and how you have to cope with each day without him. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

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There are romantic gestures. Don’t assume that romantic acts are just for guys! Girls can be just as romantic as boys, and you may find that a single romantic gesture can put a guy off. Make a compilation CD for him, buy him tickets to his favorite band, write him a love letter, or surprise him with a romantic date. . Those gestures can help your boyfriend see how much you hate fighting, and how much he means to you.

Of course, it’s not how much money you spend for him, and money can never heal love, but what’s important is the heart and the effort.

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Do something he still wants to do. One thing you can do to make your boyfriend happy again is to do something new and exciting that he still enjoys. Maybe he used to say he wanted to try indoor climbing; Go to the gym to see if you like this sport. Maybe he wants to go to the football game with you; Go with him and don’t nag, even if you’re not a sports fan. Maybe it’s just a new restaurant he keeps mentioning – make a reservation and surprise him.

The most important thing is that you have to come up with the idea yourself. This shows that you care about the things he loves.
Again, make sure he really wants to make up before you plan any unexpected activities, or your plans will fail. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Squeeze for a while. After you and your boyfriend have reconciled, you should be a little more careful around him. Try not to bring up sensitive topics, especially those that have caused you two to quarrel, and try to keep the peace, light, and fun. You shouldn’t play a completely different person to comfort him, but you should be careful when you talk and do your best to avoid starting an argument again.

If you’re eager to speed up your relationship, take a moment to reflect before saying “I love you” or moving in with him, going on long trips together, or doing whatever it takes to make him happy. Take your relationship to the next level.

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Don’t try too hard. Reconciling with your boyfriend is important, but even trying to make up with someone has a limit. If you keep trying to talk to him over and over, sending him tons of love letters or calling all day to check in or ask if he loves you, then you’re in love. brings insecurity to the relationship, and you’ll make it harder for both of you to heal after an argument. Instead, take it slow and trust that the relationship will grow stronger over time.

If he forgives you but still needs some space, give him time and he’ll come to you when he’s ready.

Making peace with male friends after an argument

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Don’t whisper about him to your other friends. When a boy is angry with you, you probably want to confide in the other boys about it. However, you should avoid doing so, unless you really need advice to correct the situation. If you slander or speak ill of him behind his back, the words will most likely reach the ears of the person being talked about, and he’ll get even angrier.

In fact, it’s much better if you speak well of the guy “behind his or her back”. It’s easier for him to forgive you if he knows that.

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Be frank about what happened. Sometimes it’s hard for friends to be honest with each other, but if you want your friendship to go well, honesty is paramount. Let him know what caused the fight, and that you wish you had acted differently. The fact that you are honest and open with him during this time will make him respect you more, and he will be much more likely to trust you and want to renew the friendship.

Let him know how you really feel and what you want through conversation. Don’t act cold just because you’re afraid to express your true feelings. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

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Apologize and make up when both are ready. Tell him that you’re upset about the fight, that you don’t want a conflict with him, that you really appreciate the friendship, and that your life can’t be without it. If you really did, now is the time to admit it and talk to him about what you did and how you feel so you can both get over it.

Just say something like, “I’m sorry to upset you. I am very sorry.” Don’t make excuses just to make up; Show him that you really think so.

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Hug each other to make peace. If you and your friend are close, there’s nothing wrong with giving him a hug. If you really want to make up and be friends again, give him a tight hug to let him know how much you love him. Friends don’t usually say how much they value friendship, so if you’re hesitant to say it, express your feelings as much as you can, then give him a hug. tightly to strengthen good works.

You’re probably a little nervous if you’ve never hugged before, but it’s no big deal if you just feel free to do it naturally.

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Be kinder to him. After making up, you can be nice to your friend without making it too obvious that you’re trying to please him. Do little things like buy him coffee if he needs it, help him study for an exam or prepare for a job interview. You need to treat him with more care and respect, and avoid annoying him or making unintentional comments.

If you know he’s into something, like a concert or a movie, ask him to come with you.

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Don’t let this happen again. If you really want to prove that you understand, you should be careful when the friendship is restored. Avoid getting drawn into conflicts with that guy, and more importantly, avoid repeating what sparked the argument. Pay more attention to your actions, learn to read his body language and facial expressions to know when he’s upset or upset, and try to prevent that from happening.

If you keep acting the same and keep arguing, you will never have a full friendship. If you really appreciate this guy, you need to be willing to change your behavior.

Know what not to do under any circumstances

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Do not apologize over text or online. One thing you should avoid is apologizing to a guy via text, Facebook, email, or any other means that don’t require direct conversation. The fact that you make an effort to meet and make up shows that you really care and are not cowardly. Of course, there are also special cases, such as if you and the guy are hundreds of miles apart, talking on the phone may be the best way, but you should be brave and meet in person to let them know. he knows he’s worth your effort.

If you apologize online or over text, he’ll think you don’t really care to be able to spend time and effort on this.
If you don’t apologize directly, the guy probably won’t respond.

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Don’t ask a thousand times if he’s still angry. This tactic is never good. Sure, you’re anxious to know if the guy is still mad at you, but asking again and again will only make the situation worse. You may think that asking him more than once will make his anger go away faster, but in reality it will only make him constantly remember what happened.

In fact, you’ll know right away if he’s calmed down. If you ask a million times, it won’t change the situation.

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Don’t say fake apologies. If you really want the guy to stop being angry, don’t make an inadequate apology; that means you’re just apologizing so he won’t be mad at you anymore. Don’t say, “I think I need to apologize,” or “I’m sorry” passively. Instead, show sincerity in expressing your feelings and apologizing. If you apologize but are clearly not sincere, your apology won’t do any good.

Make eye contact, turn your body towards him, and show him how hurt you are when you apologize.
Also don’t make excuses for your behavior. Take responsibility for what happened.

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Don’t choose the wrong time to open the conversation. Another thing that you need to avoid is bringing up a difficult issue like this at the wrong time. Don’t try to talk when he has important things to do, like concentrating on a football game, preparing for an interview or studying for a test. Make sure the conversation happens when he’s approachable and doesn’t feel pressured. You should also avoid talking to him in front of other people. If you don’t try to talk to him privately, it means you’re not serious.

If the conversation doesn’t start at the wrong time, he’ll get upset because you didn’t think it through when deciding to have a conversation, so your first move was wrong.

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Don’t try to fix things too soon. Of course, everyone feels uneasy when they know that someone is angry at them. However, if the guy is “hot” angry, you shouldn’t try to make up that same day. Give him a few days or even weeks to cool off before you feel able to talk and reconnect. If you try to talk right away, he won’t listen and will get even more annoyed and angry.

It can be hard to stay patient in situations like these, but you have to learn to do it. During that time you can even focus on exactly what you want to say to him.

Steps

Make up with your boyfriend after an argument

Making peace with male friends after an argument

Know what not to do under any circumstances

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