How to Maintain the Conversation

Follow what others are saying by listening attentively. A dialogue is the flow of ideas. However, these ideas should be related. If you listen attentively to what the other person has to say, you can memorize important sources of information to keep the conversation going.

Feel what the other person is saying. Different people like to talk about different things. Figuring out what the person likes to talk about can make the difference between an exciting conversation and an awkward one.

• Consider what you know about the person. People like to talk about what they know. If you know one of the following about them, this will be a good place to start:
  • Their occupation/career
  • Their hobby/passion
  • Their family/friends
  • Their background/past
• Use what you know about the other person to lead the conversation. For example, if you know someone who works in education, ask them about school violence or upcoming reforms, about the first time they stood on the podium.

Pay attention to what’s going on in the world. When you start to run out of ideas, you can talk about what’s going on in the world.

• For example, you could say, “Hey did you know that even eggs can be faked? I was just reading the paper this morning and was worried about what we eat every day. What do you think?” It’s a great way to get attention and keep the conversation going.

Make sure your body language reflects the right things. People follow your words and body language when you talk to them. In fact, according to the 7%-38%-55% rule studied by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, what we say only determines 7% of our being liked, while body language 55% again.{fact}} Here are some tips to improve your body language:

• Don’t cross your arms — or legs. This makes the other person feel that you are a bit arrogant.
• Maintain moderate eye contact without staring. Meeting and smiling with someone is a good thing; but looking at them for too long can make them uncomfortable.
• Relax your shoulders. Stress in the body can show through the shoulders. If other people notice that your shoulders are tense, they will feel a little shy.
• Nod often and lean toward them. Nodding your head shows interest in the story, while leaning forward shows that you have a crush on them.
• Face the person and don’t act nervous. Concentrate fully on them by standing opposite. Show them that you’re engaged in the conversation by not fidgeting.

Show confidence. It is not surprising that we are naturally attracted to confident people. It seems a bit unfair, but the truth in life is this: people will judge who you are by your subjective confidence. If you have high self-esteem and are an interesting person, people will sympathize with you more when the dialogue is slack or they will try harder to fill in the silences in the story.

Be prepared for when communication doesn’t work. This still happens with even the smoothest of conversations. You’ll accidentally say something you shouldn’t, or simply run out of ideas. This is completely normal; Don’t blame yourself for that.

• If that happens, smile and look them in the eye. Reassuring them through body language so they know that being “off-topic” doesn’t mean you don’t like them or don’t want to move on. Let’s wait for things to return to normal.