How to Live to the fullest

The meaning of life is what is created by your personal thoughts and actions. Always ask yourself what you can learn, how you can improve, and stop blaming others when things don’t go your way. How you can live “to the fullest” is entirely up to you. Here are a few guidelines to get you started.

Table of Contents

Define yourself

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Realize that life is a journey, not a destination. This sounds cliché, but it’s completely true: the process is more important than the result. Living to the fullest is a process you have to spend your life doing. Don’t be discouraged when it takes a long time to learn new things or to fail. These are obvious things in life.

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Be honest with yourself and others. Lying drains energy and joy. When we deceive ourselves, we are preventing ourselves from learning and growing. When we deceive others, we are damaging trust and intimacy. ^{[1] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

We lie for many reasons. Research has shown that we sometimes lie because we are jealous or want to hurt others. ^{[2] X Research Sources} Many times we lie out of fear of being hurt by revealing the truth or of being confronted. ^{[3] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source} It’s hard to be honest with yourself, but only in doing so can you live your life to the fullest.

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Learn to accept yourself. We often waste time looking at the things we don’t like about ourselves, the things we want to change. Spending all your time focusing on things you don’t like or things that happened in the past means you can’t focus on the future. Decide to learn to love yourself now. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

List your strengths. What are you good at? They can be big achievements, such as inventing new technology, or “everyday” skills like being friendly with people. Paying attention to your strengths can help you continue to develop them without thinking negatively about yourself as a “failure.”

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Define your own standards. Core values are the beliefs that shape who you are and your life. They can be spiritual beliefs or simply deeply held beliefs for you. ^{[5] X Research Resources} Reflecting on your own standards will help you set goals that are similar to your standards. ^{[6] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} You will feel fulfilled and happy living up to your standards.

Fight for what you believe in and don’t let others influence you. You can do this and still be open to other people’s opinions, as they may surprise you.

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Fight negative thoughts. Sometimes, society confuses self-criticism with self-improvement. However, studies show that the more hard you are with yourself, the more likely you are to do the same to others. Negative thinking and self-criticism won’t help you make progress or achieve your goals. ^{[7] X Research Resources} Instead, try being kind and tolerant of yourself.

For example, if you are constantly blaming yourself for your own mistakes and dislikes, you need to be assertive and counter these with optimism. Replace the thought “I am a failure” with “Things are not going as well as I expected. I’ll think of another way to handle it.”
Try to think logically about self-criticism. It is easy for people to criticize themselves. The next time you find yourself being too hard on yourself, try to find an appropriate response to that criticism. For example, if you say to yourself, “I’m stupid, I don’t understand anything and everyone in my class is smarter than I am,” test that thought logically. Are people really smarter than you, or are they just better prepared? Is your performance in class because you’re less intelligent (less likely) or because you didn’t prepare? Are you studying effectively? Do you see benefits from tutoring? Analyzing things logically will help you find steps to improve yourself without putting yourself down.

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Be flexible. One of the reasons we get depressed is that we expect everything to stay the same, but life is full of changes. You should allow yourself to change and grow, learning to adapt to new situations and challenges. ^{[8] X Research Source Lloyd, A. (2015). Beyond Willpower: The Secret Principle to Achieving Success in Life, Love, and Happiness. New York: Harmony.}

Cultivating positive emotions, such as joy and positivity, helps develop flexibility. ^{[9] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}
Find your own habits in reacting to events and situations. Determine what is good and what is not. This helps you correct inappropriate responses and learn to adapt. Not only will you see yourself improve, but you will also interact with people better. ^{[10] X Research Sources Fina, AD, Schiffrin, D., & Bamberg, M. (Eds.). (2006). Discourse and Identity (1 edition). Cambridge, UK ; New York: Cambridge University Press.}
See “negative” situations as a way to gain experience. Constantly thinking negatively about past “failures” can make you obsessed. Instead of viewing challenges or obstacles as negative, see them as opportunities to learn and improve yourself.
For example, the famous businessman Steve Jobs once said, “Getting fired from Apple was the best thing that ever happened to me. Once again, the burden of success is replaced by the light of beginnings, uncertain about everything. It liberated me, took me into one of the most creative periods of my life.” ^{[11] X Research source} JK Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, once said that failure is an unimaginable benefit, you must take advantage of it instead of fearing it. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Follow your path

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Get out of the safe zone. Research shows that, if you want to be successful, you need to get out of your comfort zone. ^{[22] X Research Source} This is called the “optimal anxiety cycle”. The more willing you are to challenge yourself, the more comfortable you will be with new experiences. ^{[23] X Research Source}^{[24] X Research Source}

Taking risks is scary because we can’t be comfortable with failure. Everyone is afraid of short-term risk. However, those who don’t take the risk will often regret it later. ^{[25] X Research Sources}
Stepping out of your comfort zone can help you develop the flexibility you need to deal with life’s unexpected obstacles. ^{[26] X Research Sources}
Start small and work your way up. Go out to eat without previewing on Yelp. Plan a surprise outing with your lover. Try doing things you’ve never tried before.

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Be realistic. Set achievable goals based on your abilities and talents. Consider each attempt to achieve the goal. Proceed step by step in a steady and safe manner. ^{[27] X Research Source}

Set meaningful goals for yourself, not in comparison to others. If your meaningful goal is to learn how to play a favorite song on the guitar, don’t be upset if you can’t become a rock star playing the guitar.
Maintain performance-based goals. Achieving goals requires hard work, dedication, and motivation. However, you need to ensure that you can achieve your goals through your own efforts, keeping in mind that you cannot control others. ^{[28] X Research Source} For example, “Becoming a movie superstar” is a goal that depends on the actions of others (the company that casts you as an actor, the people who went to the movies you acted in, etc.) . But “Going to auditions for a lot of movies” is a goal you can control. Even if you don’t get the role, the goal can still be considered a success because you have accomplished what you set out to do, done what you wanted.

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Accept being hurt. When you live to the fullest, you embrace opportunities. You go after what you want, make decisions, and accept the results. But sometimes things don’t go the way you expect. Accepting getting hurt when things don’t go according to plan is important to experiencing life fully, openly, and honestly. ^{[29] X Research Sources}

Vulnerability helps you to act on all areas of your life. If you’re afraid to open up and be honest with others because you might hurt yourself, you won’t be able to develop a truly close relationship. If you’re afraid to take chances because they might not work out, you’ll regret it.
Take for example Myshkin Ingawale, an inventor who wants to develop technology to reduce child mortality in rural India. Ingawale often talks about his 32 failures in conducting this research. Only the 33rd time he succeeded. Willingness to get hurt and take risks, failure is what brought him this success and saved many lives.

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Look for learning opportunities. Don’t be content with things in life. Be active and live to the fullest. Always consider what you learn from life situations. This helps you de-stress when faced with a challenge and focus on moving forward, not looking back. ^{[30] X Research Source}

Learning new things helps the brain focus. When you proactively ask questions and get to know things, you’ll feel more at ease mentally and emotionally. ^{[31] X Research Source}

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Practice gratitude. Gratitude isn’t just an emotion; It is a way of life that requires active practice. Research shows that practicing gratitude helps you live a healthier, happier, and more optimistic life. ^{[32] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to the Source} Gratitude helps you overcome past obsessions and strengthen relationships with people. ^{[33] X Trusted Source Science Direct Go to Source}^{[34] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source} Be grateful for the things you go through every day. Express gratitude to family, friends, and significant others. Share and show love while you can. Life is more fulfilling when you actively express gratitude.

Enjoy the moment. People have a bad habit of focusing on the negative side of life and ignoring the beautiful and optimistic things around. Take the time to appreciate and enjoy the beautiful moments in your daily life. Think about the experience that was meaningful to you. Pay attention to happiness in life. You can write these experiences down on paper. ^{[35] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source} Just a little thing like a surprise text from a friend or a sunny morning can make us happy.
Share gratitude with others. We can “keep” beautiful moments in our memory if we share them with others. If you see a beautiful flower while on the bus, you can text your best friend. If your crush does the dishes to surprise you, tell him you’re happy. Sharing gratitude can help other people enjoy life and tend to find gratitude in their lives. ^{[36] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

Annie Lin, MBA

Life & Career Coach

Annie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a New York-based career and life coaching company. Annie has over 10,000 hours of coaching for clients and her work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine and BBC World News. She provides services individually or in groups, focusing on career, relationships, love life and personal growth. Trying to get an MBA from Oxford Brooks University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute, which offers comprehensive coaching certifications. Information: https://newyorklifecoaching.com

Annie Lin, MBA
Life & Career Coach

Try this daily practice of gratitude: Every day, take a few minutes in the morning and before bed to think about the things for which you are grateful. In addition, learn to live in the present, be curious and observe things in life, notice the wonderful things around you instead of always attaching headphones and cowering into your shell.

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Write diary. Journaling helps you reflect on your goals and values. It also helps you determine what is going well and should be continued. Journaling is also a way to practice mindfulness.

You should actively journal instead of just recording random thoughts and experiences. Instead of recording every single thing that happens, you should use a journal to reflect on the situations you go through. How do you react? How did you feel at first? Is it different now? What would you like to change if you were in a similar situation? ^{[37] X Research Source}

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Laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter lowers stress hormones and releases endorphins, the hormones that make people happy. It burns calories and sends oxygen throughout your body, helping you feel healthy and enjoy life. ^{[38] X Research Sources}

Laughter can be contagious; When you express joy through laughter, others will share it with you. Laughing together creates an emotional and social connection. ^{[39] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

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Simplify needs . Your property may turn to possess you. A cluttered house full of amenities doesn’t make you happy. Be proactive in making decisions about simple everyday needs. Research shows that constantly worrying about material things will overshadow your practical needs. ^{[40] X Research Source Reed, R. (2013). A Lacanian Ethics of Non-Personal Responsibility. Pastoral Psychpogy, 62(4), 515–531.}^{[41] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source Get} what you need and need what you own.

Materialistic people are often less happy and satisfied than other people. ^{[42] X Material Research} doesn’t make you happy, but relationships with other people do.
Get rid of unused or unwanted items in your home. Find local charities to donate clothes, household items, and unused household items.
Simplify personal life. You can say “no” to a commitment or an invitation. Spend time doing things that are meaningful to you.

Communicating with others

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Think about the people around you. Believe it or not, it’s true that people can “spread” emotions as easily as a cold. ^{[43] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to the source} If you spend a lot of time with people If you are around people who are moody all the time, you will also become pessimistic. Make friends with people who care about you, value you and those around you, and do the same. enrich your life.

Who do you spend time with? How do they make you feel about yourself? Do you feel respected and acknowledged by others? ^{[44] X Research Source}
This is not to say that your friends and family should not offer constructive feedback. In fact, sometimes we need our friends to point out our actions that are thoughtless and hurtful. However, you must feel respect and kindness from those people, and treat them well.

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Discuss your own needs with others. Learning how to communicate assertively (without being arrogant) can help you feel stronger, more confident, and fulfilled. Assertive communication will understand the needs of both parties. ^{[45] X Research Source}

Be open and honest, without using judgmental or blaming words. If someone hurts you, you can share your feelings with that person. However, don’t say things that blame the person, “You’re not nice to me” or “You don’t even care about my needs.”
Use the subject “I”. Use a subject that focuses on your feelings and experiences without being judgmental or blaming. For example, “I feel hurt when you don’t cheer me on at work. I feel like you don’t care about my needs.”
Give constructive feedback and accept the input of others. Don’t just tell others what to do or not to do. You should explain in detail.
Invite people to share their needs and ideas with you. Use cooperative phrases, such as “What do you want to do?” or “What do you think?”
Instead of finding yourself having to state your opinion in an assertive manner, you can say something like “Whatever” when you hear someone say something that sounds like something you don’t mean. Try to put yourself in that person’s shoes.

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Love everyone. Be devoted to others. One of the biggest obstacles that keep us from living fully is the thought that we “deserve” this. This feeling can cause dissatisfaction and anger. ^{[46] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to the source} Give love without expecting anything in return. Love everyone, even if it’s not easy.

This doesn’t mean you have to be nice to someone who isn’t nice to you. You can love and accept everyone but still distinguish who is good and who is not.
Believe it or not, love helps, even in the workplace. A workplace with love, care, and expression of affection will have more productive and satisfied workers. ^{[47] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

Advice

Spread Love (LOVE)
- Listen more, talk less.
- Ignore (Overlook) mistakes, omissions
- Value what you have
- Express (Express) Appreciation
Enjoy the simple things in life. Sit down, relax and think about love with the blue sky or listen to your sister’s laughter or dad’s jokes. What would life be like without them.
Don’t mind rumors, bias, and judgmental attitudes. The key to living to the fullest is living in the present moment. You can’t go back to the past, and the future is uncertain, so what is certain is the present.
Overcoming fear, it seeks to suppress you and make you timid. When it comes to your heart and desires, fear is like a disease. To feel free and content, you have to live in the present moment and share your happiness with everyone around you.
Be adventurous! Doesn’t mean you have to do something crazy like climb the Empire State Building despite your fear of heights. Small adventures will delight you, such as trying a new food or going to a haunted house at an amusement park. You’ll be glad you gave it a try!

Warning

Don’t let external factors determine your feelings. You can’t always control the outside world, but you can always control the meaning of things.
Distinguish between story and reality. Don’t get caught up in your own stories.

Steps

Define yourself

Follow your path

Communicating with others

Advice

Warning

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