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This article was co-written by Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT. Ken Breniman is a clinical social worker, yoga therapist, and autobiologist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Ken has over 15 years of experience providing clinical support services and community workshops, using a combination of psychotherapy with therapeutic yoga. He specializes in teaching eclectic and non-denominational yoga, suffering therapy, complex trauma recovery, and developing mindful dying skills. He holds an MSW from the University of Washington and a master’s degree in autobiology from the Marian University of Fond du Lac. He is certified by the International Association of Yoga Therapists after completing 500 hours of training at Yoga Tree in San Francisco and at Ananda Seva Mission in Santa Rosa, CA.
There are 22 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 16,904 times.
Losing a spouse is one of the most traumatic experiences we can go through. You may feel completely empty or in severe shock; The whole world seems to stop around you. [1] X Research Source Losing a loved one changes your whole life, especially when that loved one is also a close friend. You will feel disoriented and stuck, unable to make even the smallest decisions. Understand that just as wounds heal with time, emotional pain will eventually heal. Although there will be scars, you can certainly live on. Many people go through great loss and after a while they can still find a way to live well, to the fullest, and be meaningful – so you can too.
Steps
Say goodbye
- Allow yourself to feel the sadness and allow yourself to get through those stages. Don’t try to hide your feelings.
- Light candles in their memory.
- Bring flowers to visit their graves and confide in them. Let them know what you’re thinking.
- Do something you used to love doing together while reminiscing about everything great about your partner.
- When you are overwhelmed with grief, you may experience feelings such as sadness, despair, heartache, depression or lack of vitality, crying, loss of appetite, lack of sleep, loss of concentration, remembering things bittersweet memories, and/or a weak sense of self-blame. [8] X Research Sources
- When you’re depressed, you’re likely to experience some of the symptoms of grief, along with feelings like you’re worthless and empty, worthless, very blameworthy, mean. suicidal thoughts, loss of interest in play, extreme fatigue, and/or rapid weight loss.
- Notice how you feel when you think of fond memories of your deceased spouse. Do warm memories of your partner make you feel more comforted and relieved? Or do you feel so empty and lost that even good memories can’t heal your heart? If you’re experiencing the latter, that’s a telltale sign that you’re depressed. [9] X Research Source
- If someone tells you that you haven’t been heartbroken enough, thank them for caring about you and say that each person has a different way of expressing grief.
- You may come across someone who thinks your wounds have been healed “too fast” or “too slow” and that you are stuck because you feel grief after the loss of your husband/ his beloved wife. If this happens, always remember that even though the person may have good intentions and they just want you to heal, it is you who decides when you are willing to let go of everything in the past. and live on.
- Even so, the permanent loss of your partner will leave you with a huge change. It’s best not to make any sudden changes while you’re still figuring out how to deal with this huge loss. [11] X Research Source
- Don’t think that when you’re busy you’ll forget about your deceased spouse or that you’re disrespecting them. Life requires you to focus and try. It’s normal to be busy with life, and it’s not a sign that you’re forgetting about him.
Take care of yourself
- Understand that pets won’t be able to replace your love and they won’t either, but pets can make you smile and listen when you want to chat with them to fill a lonely day. .
- Proceed slowly; You should only volunteer for about an hour a week at first and get a feel for how it works for you, then build up from that foundation when you’re ready.
- For example, if you and your partner used to go shopping together at a certain store, you should think about changing shopping locations to avoid being overwhelmed by sadness.
- In another case, you can also drown in emotional pain while driving past a familiar restaurant, where your late husband/wife used to like to go. You can handle this by taking a different route to where you want to go. But if you can’t go the other way, you may choose to take some time out of your day to experience the grief that may arise in response to the situation. For example, you might leave a few minutes earlier than usual so you can express your sadness in the car.
- You may not know what is likely to cause you grief until you experience it. Once you’ve figured out what triggers your sadness, make a note of it so you can figure out how to deal with it the next time you face them.
- You should set a goal of 30 minutes of aerobic exercise a day. [19] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Try to eat a balanced diet that includes lean meats, beans, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. Avoid eating too much fat or sugar. [20] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- While the amount of water you should drink each day varies depending on many factors, aim to drink about eight glasses of water a day, but don’t force yourself to drink less than that, because the number eight is not a magic number. [21] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Set a goal of about seven or eight hours of sleep each night, which you can adjust as needed so that you feel rested when you wake up in the morning. [22] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- If you are a man, please be especially wary of alcohol abuse, as it is clear that men are more inclined to use alcohol to relieve depression than women. [24] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to source
- To join the community, look out for flyers in your area, ask your neighbors, or go online to find events you can join.
- To find a psychologist near you, try visiting this website.
- You can find support from a variety of groups by accessing social media, consulting a psychologist or counselor, or even looking at your local newspaper.
- The most important thing is to try to live comfortably and happily. Your dreams can come true and fill the void in your life. You will meet new people and realize that life can still be interesting and comfortable even when you are alone.
Advice
- Understand that you are not alone.
- Consider seeing a psychologist and counselor or joining a peer-support group.
- If you are thinking about suicide, there are other better options. Share about the pain you are going through right now that makes you believe that suicide is the only way out of the pain. Please take a few minutes to share your problem.
- When you no longer have a partner, your mutual friends may gradually drift away from you. It’s sad, but it happens sometimes. Be open to making new friends.
- Take care of the needs of younger family members, children, or grandchildren, to help you focus on what really matters in your life and also to help create new intentions for a positive life. pole.
- Rearrange memorabilia and pictures so you don’t have to deal with things that remind you of your deceased partner when you return home. You should buy new items that can bring joy to your home, gradually making it your home.
- Hang posters with positive quotes from good books about grief and place them where they can be easily seen.
Warning
- Suicide is not the way to escape. If you are thinking about suicide, call a hotline, call a friend, or see a psychologist right away!
This article was co-written by Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT. Ken Breniman is a clinical social worker, yoga therapist, and autobiologist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Ken has over 15 years of experience providing clinical support services and community workshops, using a combination of psychotherapy with therapeutic yoga. He specializes in teaching eclectic and non-denominational yoga, suffering therapy, complex trauma recovery, and developing mindful dying skills. He holds an MSW from the University of Washington and a master’s degree in autobiology from the Marian University of Fond du Lac. He is certified by the International Association of Yoga Therapists after completing 500 hours of training at Yoga Tree in San Francisco and at Ananda Seva Mission in Santa Rosa, CA.
There are 22 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 16,904 times.
Losing a spouse is one of the most traumatic experiences we can go through. You may feel completely empty or in severe shock; The whole world seems to stop around you. [1] X Research Source Losing a loved one changes your whole life, especially when that loved one is also a close friend. You will feel disoriented and stuck, unable to make even the smallest decisions. Understand that just as wounds heal with time, emotional pain will eventually heal. Although there will be scars, you can certainly live on. Many people go through great loss and after a while they can still find a way to live well, to the fullest, and be meaningful – so you can too.
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