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This article was co-written by William Gardner, PsyD. William Gardner is a Stanford graduate clinical psychologist in San Francisco’s financial district. He provides individually tailored psychotherapy using cognitive behavioral techniques, to relieve symptoms and improve overall functioning. He has more than 10 years of clinical experience.
There are 17 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 11,501 times.
Living an ordinary life seems like a simple goal, but it is actually a complex concept. What is normal for one person may not be normal for another, especially in a different culture or society. At the same time, the concept of the normal state is constantly changing. To lead a normal life, you need to define what is normal for you. While some people like originality and individuality, others form habits and patterns. [1] X Research Source Read this article and determine what is normal and create a daily routine that works for you.
Steps
Learn the concept of normality
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Accept yourself. Changing yourself is not easy, so first you need to understand who you are. [2] X Social Research Resources is made up of individuals with different personality traits. You need to decide what is normal for you. Does it mean breaking the mold or following the rules in a strict society? To define the concept of normality, you should ask yourself:
- Do you feel completely comfortable following orders and maintaining rigid social structures?
- Do you enjoy the independence of finding the right things for yourself?
- Are you happiest when people around you seem to accept your actions?
- Do you experiment with new lifestyles with non-mainstreamers?
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Think about what is considered normal in society. As an individual, you still have to live in a society, be it a neighborhood, a community, or a region. Each society sets standards and values that define the concept of normality. You can think about the practices and institutions in a society that give rise to an idea of what normality is. This will help you express your own identity through interactions with others. [3] X Research Sources Richardson, C., & Skott-Myhre, HA (Eds.). (2012). Habits of Neighbors. Brisp: Intellect Ltd.
- For example, you might live in a place where fast-paced, harsh talk is acceptable. But in other areas, this behavior can make you a social outcast. Being aware of this will help you strengthen your self-image.
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Find mental and emotional balance. Everyone goes through emotional ups and downs. You should be prepared for this and know how to take care of yourself during difficult times. For example, if you are engaged in a heated discussion with a person about a personal opinion, you should know how to respond normally and appropriately. Also be aware that overreacting will make the problem worse and harder to solve.
- You will have a healthy mind and a strong body if you live your life according to your own beliefs and feelings instead of letting others dictate what they consider appropriate or normal. [4] X Research Sources
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Overcome the traumatic event that is holding you back. If you’ve experienced trauma at some point in your life, it’s normal to feel isolated or different. Trauma can have lasting effects on your body chemistry, permanently affecting the way you see yourself and your surroundings. [5] X Research Sources Van der Kpk, B. (2014). The Body Retains Wounds: Brain, Spirit, Body in Healing Trauma (Version 1). New York: Vikings. You may not see yourself as normal, but connecting with people who have been through trauma can help you realize that you can get over it and live a normal life. In addition, you should also find a trauma support group. [6] X Research Resources These experiences will give you courage and strength if you can bring their influence into your life instead of avoiding it.
- Once you have established a routine or comfortable rhythm, you can begin to experiment with normal emotions. This helps you to express your deepest and most genuine feelings. [7] X Research Resources Malabou, C. (2012). The New Wounded: From Neurosis to Brain Damage. (S. Miller, Trans.) (1 edition). New York: Fordham University Press.
Form a habit to establish normalcy
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Build a daily habit. Start slowly by building on previous daily habits. Habits can help establish normalcy and self-discipline. This can help you feel more competent and able to work through obstacles that arise. For example, you can make it a habit to wake up at a certain time or prepare breakfast. These are the little things that give you a sense of your own rhythm or normalcy in life. [8] X Research Resources Sparrow, T., & Malabou, C. (2015). The Aesthetic Department: Re-establishing Sensation After Phenomenology. Ann Arbor: Extended Humanities Press.
- Avoid imposing too much of a pattern at a too fast pace, as being forced to follow repetitive behaviors can prevent you from growing. [9] X Research Source
- Adopting a daily routine or pattern of behavior that works for you can help reduce stress and boost your confidence to express yourself.
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Learn. Education connects you to people, ideas, and inaccessible sources. Universities or schools offer different types of degrees. You need to determine if they match the sense of normalcy you’re trying to cultivate. If not, you should break through by enrolling in a vocational school or apprenticeship in your area. Don’t limit yourself to what other people think.
- Although the rates of people graduating from high school and going to college are higher than ever [10] X Credible Sources US Department of Education Go to source , not being fully prepared to work in Specialized fields after graduation are also more popular. [11] X Research Source
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Do work that you are passionate about. Maybe you need to work to take care of yourself. You should also plan accordingly, as you may need to take care of more than just yourself. Avoid choosing a career that follows the trend, because it may not necessarily bring you happiness. [12] X Trusted Source International DOI Foundation (IDF) Go to the source Instead, ask yourself what kind of people or environments you want to be in daily contact with. If the job doesn’t suit you and doesn’t make you happy, you should find a better job to show your true self.
- People who feel happy at work often enjoy interacting with co-workers on a daily basis. [13] X Trusted Source International DOI Foundation (IDF) Go to Source
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Work towards building meaningful relationships. Getting married may be normal for many people, but not everyone thinks so. Instead, develop meaningful relationships with people from many social groups. Socializing widely with many different types of people can help you find the one that’s truly right for you.
- No matter what group of people you interact with, you still need support from those around you. This is essential for you to achieve normalcy in your daily life. [14] X Research Sources Lin, N., Dean, A., & Ensel, WM (2013). Social Support, Life Events, and Depression. Academic Press.
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Pet. Caring for animals that need love and care on a daily basis can feel normal in many different ways. It helps you establish routines and brings joy into your daily activities. Studies have also shown that people with pets are generally healthier and happier. [15] X Research Resources And if you’re not ready for a long-term relationship or having children, you can start with a pet to work your way toward building meaningful relationships with others.
- Remember that choosing the right pet for your living space and daily schedule is very important. If you don’t have enough time or space, taking care of a pet can increase stress and heart attack in the long run.
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Tourism. As absurd as it may sound, exposure to a variety of people, customs, and cultures can help you feel more normal instead of just comparing yourself to the people where you live. Traveling will show you how big and diverse the world is. The more you travel, the more you realize how many people in the world have the same things in common. Furthermore, you will also realize that differences are part of every culture.
- Don’t travel just to get out of your current situation. Instead, you should travel to learn more about yourself, other people, and what you like. [16] X Research Source
Advice
- Help others when possible. Getting out of your shell and helping others will help you maintain a balanced life.
- Even the eccentric or the great need to form a daily routine to achieve their goals. [17] X Research Source
- The concept of ‘normal’ is not synonymous with ‘happy’
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This article was co-written by William Gardner, PsyD. William Gardner is a Stanford graduate clinical psychologist in San Francisco’s financial district. He provides individually tailored psychotherapy using cognitive behavioral techniques, to relieve symptoms and improve overall functioning. He has more than 10 years of clinical experience.
There are 17 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 11,501 times.
Living an ordinary life seems like a simple goal, but it is actually a complex concept. What is normal for one person may not be normal for another, especially in a different culture or society. At the same time, the concept of the normal state is constantly changing. To lead a normal life, you need to define what is normal for you. While some people like originality and individuality, others form habits and patterns. [1] X Research Source Read this article and determine what is normal and create a daily routine that works for you.
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