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Being a good listener will help you see the world through the eyes of others. This quality enhances your understanding and expands your capacity for empathy. It also helps you stay connected with the outside world by improving your communication skills. Good listening skills make you empathize more deeply with other people’s situations and help you know what to say or avoid. Listening (and feeling) seems simple, but doing it well, especially when disagreements arise, requires sincere effort and a lot of practice. If you want to know how to listen effectively, read on to get ready!!
Steps
Listen with an open mind
- Remember that you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. This means that you should listen more than you speak. Listening is more beneficial than talking. When listening to the other person, engage in conversation and make eye contact to let the other person know that you care about what the other person is saying (even if you’re not paying attention, it’s still polite) . A good listener is a better observer and is therefore also more attentive and understanding. Make sure you’re really listening and not doing anything else. Try to make sure that you are fully focused on the person who is speaking and are not distracted.
- Instead of immediately judging the person who is speaking or coming up with a “solution” right away, take the time to listen and consider the story from that person’s point of view. Think about how you would feel if someone was silently judging you. This will help you to really listen to others, rather than form your own opinions before truly understanding the situation at hand.
- You may think that this is the best way to capture the situation and be helpful, but this approach is actually somewhat rude and can make the speaker feel like you are not listening at all.
- Avoid using the pronoun “I” more than once. This is a clear sign that you care more about yourself than about the situation of others.
- Of course, if the other person knows that you’ve had a similar experience, they may take the initiative to consult you. In this case, you can offer your own opinion, but be careful not to act as if your experience and the other person’s are exactly the same. Doing so will make you look like you’re trying to make up a story to look useful.
- Concentrate on taking in everything that people tell you. Only by doing so can you really find a way to help.
- It’s okay if you don’t have a sharp memory. However, if you keep stopping to ask questions or forget who it is, then obviously, you won’t give the impression that you’re a good listener. It’s not necessary to remember every little detail, but you also shouldn’t let the person you talk to feel like they have to repeat it a million times.
- The person you’re talking to may be touched if you really think about them even when you’re not seeing each other and even ask how they’re doing. This takes your listening skills to the next level.
- Of course, there is a difference between grasping the situation and nagging people. If a person tells you she’s about to quit, don’t text her every day asking if she’s quit, because you’re putting unnecessary pressure on the person and making things worse. stress, instead of helping.
- Do not interrupt while others are speaking.
- Do not question the speaker. Instead, gently ask questions when needed (i.e. in between gaps or pauses when the other person says nothing).
- Don’t try to change the subject, even if you’re a little annoyed.
- Avoid saying “It’s not that bad” or “You’ll feel better tomorrow morning.” Doing so just trivializes the other person’s problem and makes them feel bad. Make eye contact with the person so they can see that you’re interested and listening.
Know what to say
- Put your needs aside, and wait patiently for the other person to speak their mind in their own way, at their own pace.
- Of course, when you say you’ll keep someone’s affairs a secret, do so, unless circumstances arise that make it impossible for you to keep your word, such as the person trying to commit suicide and that makes you deep concern. However, in general, if you are unreliable, you will never be a good listener.
- Repetition and Encouragement: Repeat something the other person said, and at the same time, give positive, encouraging feedback. For example, you could say something like, “I can see that you don’t want to blame me. Neither do I.” However, do not abuse this technique. Only occasionally should you use sympathetic responses to encourage conversation, because overdoing it can make you appear condescending.
- Summarize and repeat: It is extremely helpful to summarize your understanding of what the “narrator” just said and repeat it in his or her own words. By doing so, you assure the other person that you are truly listening and “getting the point”. This also gives them the opportunity to correct any assumptions or misconceptions you make.
- Make sure you open the door for the other person with sentences like “Maybe I’m wrong, but…” or “…If I’m wrong, please correct me.” This is especially helpful when you find yourself starting to get discouraged or have the feeling that the audience you’re listening to is wavering.
- After you’ve shown your partner that you’re listening with empathy, it’s time to move on to the next step, listening with encouragement: Repeat what you asked. For example, “You don’t want to be responsible. But I don’t understand why you feel guilty, you should just tell people not to do that again.”
- Expressing the question in this way makes the speaker feel the need to respond directly to your flawed understanding. During this process, the other party will begin to shift the response from emotional to more logical and constructive.
- Be patient and put yourself in the position of the “speaker”. Sometimes it helps you imagine why they got into that situation.
- If you interrupt the other person too soon, they will get annoyed and won’t fully absorb what you have to say. People are willing to end the conversation, because you make them uncomfortable and distracting.
- Avoid giving direct advice (unless you are asked to). Instead, you should let the other person tell the whole situation and find a solution on his own. This way is convenient for both parties. It is this process that will lead to beneficial changes and self-understanding for the speaker and for you as well.
- You can even pat the other person’s hand or knee, put your arm around them, or give a reassuring touch. Do whatever is appropriate for the situation. When it comes to touching, though, don’t go overboard.
- Offer to help with any possible solution if you have the ability, time and expertise. However, do not create false hopes . If the only support you can offer is continuing to act as an active listener, make that clear. This, in and of itself, is a valuable help.
Use the Right Body Language
- You need to focus your eyes, ears and thoughts on the speaker only, and become a good listener. Don’t try to think about what to say next, but pay attention to what the other person is saying. (Remember, this is their business, not yours.)
- Choose a place where the two of you won’t be disturbed or have anyone else distract you. If you’re going to a coffee shop, make sure you’re focusing on the person you’re talking to and not the interesting characters walking in and out of the store.
- If the two of you talk in a public place like a restaurant or coffee shop, avoid sitting near where the TV is broadcasting. Even if you’ve decided to give your opponent your all, it’s hard to avoid glancing at the TV, especially when your favorite sports team is playing.
- Another way to use encouraging body language is to point your body towards the speaker. The act of looking away from your partner makes you look like you’re anxious to leave. For example, if you cross your legs, have your feet facing the speaker instead of away.
- Don’t cross your arms over your chest either. This move makes you seem distant and suspicious, even if you don’t really feel that way.
- Words : You don’t have to say “Um”, “I understand” or “Yes” every 5 seconds – as it gets annoying over time, but every now and then you can say a few encouraging words. to show you’re paying attention. If the person you’re talking to is really important to you, you’ll definitely take notice and help them figure out how to solve the problem if it does.
- Expression : Show concern and occasionally receive glances from the speaker. Don’t suffocate them by staring, but respond in a friendly and open way to what you hear.
- Recognizing Subtext : Always be on the lookout for unspoken things as well as cues that can help you gauge the speaker’s true feelings. Observe the “narrator’s” facial and body expressions to try to gather all the necessary information, not just the words. Just imagine what state of mind would create such expressions, movements, and volume.
- Speak with approximately the same energy level as the opponent’s. This way, they will know that the message has been communicated, no need to repeat it again.
- Try to repeat what the other person is saying to confirm exactly what they mean. Sometimes, the same word is used but the meaning is opposite. The best way to confirm and avoid misunderstandings between the two parties is to repeat what the other person is saying, so that they know that you are listening and that you are both on the same page.
- Need to consider the other side’s situation. If they are a sensitive person, don’t behave like “love for a while.”
Advice
- People do not listen to understand, but listen to respond. Please consider that.
- Listening is one of the most important skills if you want to advance your career and build meaningful relationships with people.
- Never give “great” advice on your own (unless asked). People just want to be heard, not taught.
- Just because people tell you their problems doesn’t necessarily mean they want or need you to fix something. Sometimes, they just need someone to confide in.
- When the other person is talking, if you think about what to say next, you are not listening. Your ability to help people is very small.
- From now on, listen to the person who is talking to you and the environment around you, you will be impressed by what you hear. Just watch and listen to what they say and do. You will learn a lot just by listening.
- Do not impose your advice on others.
- While the other person is speaking, don’t interrupt by asking questions or telling your life story.
- Look the other person in the eye and nod from time to time to show that you are particularly interested and want to hear more.
- Let the other person say as much as they want and then “attack” them with questions. Before trying to say something, get the other person’s permission.
Warning
- Don’t go crazy when the other person is telling you something very important to them. Telling you about spiritual things means that people feel that you can be trusted. So if you don’t respect them in any way or show no interest (even if you don’t mean to), they’ll think there’s nothing they can do to tell you anyway. more. This will dent your friendship or reduce your chances of becoming friends. If the topic being talked about is very important to the other person, you may want to make certain opinions based on their facial expressions and try to agree with them.
- Must make eye contact. If you don’t look the other person in the eye, they will get the impression that you are not listening.
- Even if you find the story the other person is sharing “too long,” and it’s hard for you to stay focused, do your best to shake off this thought and listen to what they’re saying. You may not know it, but chances are you’ll be greatly appreciated for listening. Listening strengthens the relationship between two people.
- Try to clear your mind and give your partner full attention; Try to focus as if your life depended on it
- If the other person hasn’t finished speaking and you’ve already given a clear response, then you weren’t really listening. Try to wait until the other person has finished speaking before expressing your opinion or commenting. Clear your mind: Leave it blank and start over.
- Don’t just say “Yeah,” “Yes,” or nod your head because people will think you’re not paying attention, not paying attention, and not really listening.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 249 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 32,130 times.
Being a good listener will help you see the world through the eyes of others. This quality enhances your understanding and expands your capacity for empathy. It also helps you stay connected with the outside world by improving your communication skills. Good listening skills make you empathize more deeply with other people’s situations and help you know what to say or avoid. Listening (and feeling) seems simple, but doing it well, especially when disagreements arise, requires sincere effort and a lot of practice. If you want to know how to listen effectively, read on to get ready!!
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