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Letting go of someone you loved deeply can be one of the most challenging and painful experiences in life. Whether it was the end of a romantic relationship, the loss of a dear friend, or the passing of a loved one, the journey of letting go can feel overwhelming and sometimes impossible. It can leave you feeling lost, hurt, and unable to envision a future without them. However, despite the immense pain, it is possible to heal and move forward. This guide is designed to provide you with essential strategies and insights on how to let go of someone you loved deeply. By understanding the power of acceptance, the importance of self-care, and the significance of seeking support, you can begin the process of healing, finding closure, and ultimately, creating a future filled with happiness and love.
This article was co-written by Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 170,983 times.
Perhaps love is one of the happiest, most memorable and enjoyable human experiences. Whether it is love for family, friends, children or love between couples, love is always an experience that people cultivate together. People are as happy as they are when love is at their peak, but they are also extremely sad when love leaves and have to give up the person they love. Whether you have to give up love because the person you love has passed away or because it is time to end the relationship, you cannot avoid suffering. You will grieve for what was lost and time will heal that wound. When you accept to give up someone, you can know how much pain you can bear, but don’t isolate yourself, learn how to heal from the loss itself.
Steps
Suffering for Relationships
- Denial and withdraw: In this level, you deny the fact that exists. It’s a natural response to try to forget the pain.
- Anger: That is the stage that comes when the pain you tried to forget comes back to torment you. You will be angry possibly with inanimate objects, with strangers, with family or friends. You may even feel angry at the person who has died or gone, but then feels guilty for being angry.
- Inner Struggle: At this level, you find yourself needing to get back on your feet and get rid of hopeless thoughts. You think you should have been better or you should have asked for help sooner, and so on.
- Falling down: This stage is when you feel sad and regretful when you realize that the person you love has really gone. You will feel miserable, want to cry, and so on.
- Acceptance: This stage is when you have calmed down and don’t hold back anymore. Some people may never go through this stage.
- Even if no one close to you knows what you’re going through, you can still keep them to yourself. When you feel bad, stop for a moment and say to yourself, “I’m sad but I’m fine. Everything will be fine”.
- Read the article How to get rid of depression to learn more about it.
- Even if you don’t fall, it’s still helpful to talk to a therapist. Your doctor can show you ways to work through your pain.
Heal Wounds With Time
- Remember you can smile even when you are in pain. Your emotions will be “calibrated”. Believe it or not, your emotions will work the way they should. But it must be said that, sometimes when the “calibration” process does not continue to the end, we can find ourselves falling, which is a very serious problem.
Remember Your Relationship
- Don’t hold onto your loved one unnecessarily. Holding that person too tight will only make it easier for you to lose love and see ahead, which is not what he wants from you.
- If you lose a relationship and it’s not because of someone leaving, then everything is the same. That relationship is not perfect. If it was perfect then you wouldn’t have to try to move on. Even if you’re not the type to actively throw things away, it will always be a superficial relationship and it’s completely right when you end it.
- Appreciate the good things that the relationship and the partner bring to you, the things that make you who you are now.
- Once you know the things that hurt you, you can learn how to heal your wounds. Knowing what hurts you helps you avoid pitfalls in other relationships. It also helps you to reflect on what you have lost. Knowing the things that hurt you, you’ll be free to move on.
- Negative thinking or indulging in painful moments will keep you from thinking about that person and it will make it harder for you to let that person go. In fact, your love may turn into hatred. That doesn’t mean that person will disappear from your heart. You simply don’t care about that person anymore. You deserve to feel happy and free to move on, so be careful of keeping negative thoughts about that person in a few compartments of your heart.
Communicating with Others
- These people are the ones who understand you and know when they can help you forget it all and enjoy yourself. They know how to make you laugh and are a shoulder when you want to cry. You don’t have to share with everyone, but trust those closest to you.
- These people can also help you realize if your sadness is bringing you down and if you need professional support.
- These help are often limited to a certain extent, like your relationship with them. You tend to avoid in-depth conversations about private matters and always appear cheerful on the surface. They also don’t want to listen to you constantly confide in more than 30 minutes of lunch.
- In any case, you don’t necessarily have to hang out and date to get on your way. In fact, just thinking about it might even scare you at the time. Don’t be so stressed and think about it comfortably. Instead of daydreaming about dating, think about making new friendships. Friendship can take many forms. Some friends are like family members. Sometimes some people will cross the friendship level and become lovers. Some friends are just friends. No matter how new your friend is, you won’t regret opening your heart to make more friends.
Express Yourself
- There are times when it’s hard to talk to someone you know about something private. You might consider making an appointment with a counselor or a monk. Emotions come out in a jumble, which makes it hard to articulate clearly. An objective third person can help you by asking the right questions to untangle your feelings without imposing their own opinion.
- The important thing here is to start talking about the problems in a simple way instead of keeping them in your head where no one can understand or help regulate your thinking.
- You might like how to write your message on a helium balloon and let it fly.
- Another option is to make a sky lantern, write love words on it and let it fly as if you were sending a letter to someone you love.
- It also helps you to realize how you think, act, and behave.
Keep Going Your Way
- People often let sadness wear them down when they think about the best memories they had with the person they passed away. Instead, let your love continue by giving them a happy corner in your memory. Learn to smile and laugh out loud every time you reminisce about your loved one. They will continue to bring you joy as the memories come flooding back. Joy heals wounds. [7] X Research Sources
- When a certain song plays on the radio, what do you think of that person? If you’re still thinking about that person, it may not be time for you to move on. Old memories may need to be wrapped up and replaced by new experiences and memories. Try to share the song with your friends and ask them to think of a new meaning for you. Give a humorous connotation. Remember, humor can heal wounds.
- You like the view from a certain restaurant, meet some of your best friends there. Laugh, have fun, and make it a regular date spot. Take off your sullen appearance layer by layer and give yourself a new and positive look.
- Punch yourself lightly, the place you punch will bruise, and like a physical wound, it will heal quickly. But before you punch yourself, make sure you only have a slight bruise.
This article was co-written by Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 170,983 times.
Perhaps love is one of the happiest, most memorable and enjoyable human experiences. Whether it is love for family, friends, children or love between couples, love is always an experience that people cultivate together. People are as happy as they are when love is at their peak, but they are also extremely sad when love leaves and have to give up the person they love. Whether you have to give up love because the person you love has passed away or because it is time to end the relationship, you cannot avoid suffering. You will grieve for what was lost and time will heal that wound. When you accept to give up someone, you can know how much pain you can bear, but don’t isolate yourself, learn to heal from the loss itself.
In conclusion, letting go of someone you loved deeply is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences in life. However, it is a necessary step towards healing and finding personal happiness. By acknowledging and accepting your emotions, creating distance, and focusing on self-care, you can gradually release the attachment and begin the process of moving on. Remember that time is a powerful healer, and with patience and self-compassion, you will find the strength to let go and open yourself up to new possibilities. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth that awaits you, and trust that in time, you will find new love and happiness.
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