How to Leave Peacefully

When you know you’re going to die, you’ll probably feel a lot of fear, but remember that you’re not alone. Perhaps you want an easy and painless experience. Fortunately, you can manage the pain and discomfort to feel lighter. Also, focus on staying comfortable and spending time with family and friends. Finally, don’t forget to pay attention to your emotional needs for peace of mind.

Note : This is an article on how to take care of the end of life. If you have suicidal thoughts, learn how to convince yourself not to commit suicide or call 800-273-TALK – the suicide prevention hotline or text 741741 to talk to someone, if you are in America. In Vietnam, you should go to the psychology department at the hospital for support.

Table of Contents

Stay comfortable

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Live comfortably in the last days of your life if possible. You should live the rest of your days in your beloved home, with your family or where you feel comfortable. Express your wishes to your doctor or loved one and choose what’s best for you. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If you’re in the hospital, ask family and friends to bring you comforting things, like photos, blankets, and pillows from home.

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Make time for the things you love. This is the time when you should take the time to do the things you want to do. Do something fun when you have the energy. If you feel too tired, you can watch your favorite show or read a book. ^{[2] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

For example, you can play some simple game with your loved one when you are feeling well or take the dog for a walk.

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Listen to music to improve your mood. Music can be uplifting and help alleviate pain. Choose your favorite music or music that brings back good memories. You should listen to music often to feel more uplifted. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Ideally, you should use a voice control device so that you can play music by giving commands. If you don’t know how to prepare, ask a relative or friend for help.

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Rest often because you get tired very easily. You will probably feel tired quickly and that is completely normal. Don’t try to overwork at this point. Get more rest so you have a chance to enjoy the rest of your time. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, you may spend most of your day resting in a recliner or in bed.

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Have some blankets nearby in case you feel cold. You may have trouble adapting to the temperature. When this happens, it’s better to have room to get extra blankets or remove them as needed. Make sure you always have a blanket nearby to use whenever you feel cold. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Do not use an electric blanket because the temperature in the blanket can be very hot or cause you to burn.
If you have a caregiver, ask them to help you feel comfortable.

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Ask someone else to help with the housework so you don’t have to work too hard. Try not to worry about household chores like cooking or cleaning. Instead, you should ask a carer, relative, or friend to do these things for you. The best solution is to divide the work among many people so that everything gets done easily. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

It’s okay if some work is still unfinished. Now, comfort and rest are the most important things to you, so don’t worry.

Relieve pain or discomfort

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Talk to your doctor about palliative care to manage pain. It’s great that you’ve got palliative care! Palliative care helps manage pain and other symptoms of the condition at each stage of treatment. If you are not already receiving palliative care, talk to your doctor for further advice. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Your doctor, nurse, and other health care professional will work with you to ease your pain and relieve other symptoms.

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Prepare a medical will to fulfill your end-of-life wishes. A medical will is a written record of your end of life options that you want to receive. For example, what kind of care do you want, do you need life-sustaining measures, and what it will be like when you fall unconscious. Give your medical will to your doctor, care team, and loved ones. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

You can ask someone you trust to help you draft a medical will. They can also help you get your documents notarized and ask a lawyer for further advice if needed.

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Ask your doctor to prescribe a pain reliever to help you feel better. You may need pain medication to ease the discomfort; So talk to your doctor about this. The rest is to follow the doctor’s instructions for using the drug. Usually, they will direct you to take your medication at the same time each day to control pain. ^{[9] X Research Source}

You will need to take pain medication before the pain returns. It’s easier to stop the pain than to try to stop it.
If pain relievers are no longer effective, you should let your doctor know. They will give you a stronger medicine, such as morphine.
When it comes to managing end-of-life pain, you don’t need to worry about becoming addicted to pain medication. Just take the dose that your doctor says is safe.

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Change positions often so you don’t have pain while lying down. Now you need a lot of rest; so lie down more often. To avoid pain from lying down, you should change positions every 30 minutes to an hour. Also, use pillows and cushions to support your body so that you feel comfortable. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Ask for help when you have trouble turning. It’s okay if you feel weak; caregivers, friends and family will always be happy to help you.

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Sit and use a fan or humidifier to ease breathing problems. You will probably have trouble breathing and feel extremely uncomfortable. You’ll breathe easier with a pillow or bed that can be tilted to raise your upper body. Alternatively, open a window or use a fan to circulate the air. Another option is to turn on a humidifier to increase humidity and soothe your airways. ^{[11] X Research Source}

In medicine, this condition is also known as labored breathing. Your doctor will give you pain medication or an oxygen ventilator to help you feel better when you have trouble breathing.

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Ask your doctor to prescribe medication for nausea or constipation if needed. You may experience some common abdominal problems such as nausea or constipation. In this case, don’t try to eat unless you really want to. Also, talk to your doctor about taking medication to make you feel better. You should take the medicine as prescribed by your doctor. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Your doctor may also give you advice to avoid nausea and constipation.

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Apply alcohol-free body lotion to prevent skin dryness and irritation. Sometimes your skin will be very dry and cause pain. In some cases, the skin is even cracked. Fortunately, you can avoid this by using an alcohol-free body lotion at least once a day. Apply body lotion to your skin with your hands or ask for help. ^{[13] X Research Source}

Apply extra body lotion when your skin feels dry. For example, you will need to apply body lotion to your hands after washing.

Spend time with friends and family

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Invite friends and relatives to visit you often. Being with family and friends will help improve your mood. However, they may not visit you often because they do not know your wishes well. Call or text to tell people you’d like someone to visit. Don’t forget to state the right time and invite them over. ^{[14] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

You could say, “Now I want to see everyone in the house. Come visit me at dinner time so we can chat. Do you have any free days this week?”
Take time alone to rest or think if you like. Let everyone know that you need some space and want to be alone for a while. ^{[15] X Research Source}

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Let everyone know how you feel. Sharing your feelings is a way to help you feel more at peace. In addition, friends and relatives will also have memorable memories with you. Make a list of the people you want to talk to before you leave and make an appointment to meet them in turn. ^{[16] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

For example, let family and friends know how much you love them.
Say thank you to the person you need to thank.
Forgive those who have hurt you in the past.
Sorry for your mistake.

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Reminisce about meaningful relationships and experiences. Think of life and good memories. Tell friends and family about your experiences and what they mean to you. If possible, look at photos to help you recall what was once important to you. ^{[17] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

This is a way to help you realize how full and meaningful your life used to be, and bring you peace.

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Accomplish the things you’ve always wanted to do if you can. Identify activities or experiences that you can do in the last days of your life. Next, reach out to friends and family to do these things. Don’t stress about trying to accomplish goals. The important thing is to enjoy the time you have by doing what you can. ^{[18] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

For example, visit the tranquil countryside, watch the sun rise over the sea or go on a cruise.

Facing emotional pain

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Vote to someone you trust when you’re feeling frustrated. It’s completely normal for you to have feelings of anxiety or fear that lead to insecurity. Share your feelings with a loved one or friend and ask them for advice or reassurance. ^{[19] X Research Source}

For example, you might say, “I’m worried about who will take care of the dogs after I die. Do you have any advice for me?” or “I’m afraid I’ll have to go back to the hospital. Can I talk to you for a bit?”

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See a counselor or therapist if you find it difficult to accept reality. Maybe you still haven’t come to terms with your illness or that you’re about to die. This is a normal emotional state and a counselor can help you. Find a therapist with expertise in hospice or have your doctor recommend an appropriate specialist. ^{[20] X Research Source}

If you choose a palliative care package, your care team will also have a therapist. Talk to them when you need emotional support.
The cost of treatment may be covered by insurance, so you need to review the terms.
You may feel like therapy isn’t helping at this point, but your feelings are important. Talking to a therapist can help make your last days more peaceful; so this is the right thing to do.

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Chat with the head of your spiritual community at least once a week. It’s normal for you to doubt your faith or worry about the afterlife. Reach out to a spiritual or religious community to answer the big questions and return to your faith. The head of the spiritual community can give you answers, companionship, and comfort. ^{[21] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

Consider inviting more spiritual community leaders to visit you so you can meet these people more often.
If you don’t feel connected to your faith, let it out so others can adjust and share things that align with your beliefs.
Invite members of the spiritual community to talk to you about your faith or to pray with you.

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Don’t rush to end your life. Perhaps you are in pain now, but suicide is not the solution. You may not see other options at the moment, but there’s still hope. Talk to someone you trust, go to the hospital or talk to a psychologist for support. ^{[22] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

If you have thoughts of suicide and need help, call 800-273-TALK – the suicide prevention hotline, if you are in the US. In Vietnam, you should go to the psychology department at hospitals to dispel negative thoughts. That way, you’ll feel better!

Advice

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Family and friends love you and are always happy to help you.

Steps

Stay comfortable

Relieve pain or discomfort

Spend time with friends and family

Facing emotional pain

Advice

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