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This article was co-written by Guy Reichard. Guy Reichard is a life coach and founder of Coaching Breakthroughs, a professional life coaching practice based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with clients to create meaning, purpose and peace in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal development and resilience coaching, helping clients discover their true selves and connect with their innermost values. He is a certified career coach by Adler and the International Federation of Coaches. He earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from York University in 1997 and a master’s degree in business administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 12,573 times.
Letting go of someone you love is extremely difficult. Change is never easy, especially when it means letting go of someone you love or care so much about. However, once you realize that it’s time for you to do so, you can start saving the situation and trying to make a fresh start and possibly a whole new you!
Steps
Self appraisal
- As a reality check, try to imagine that you are someone else assessing your situation. What does that person think about it? Is the answer too obvious for that person? If so, then you probably already know what you need to do.
- If you’re having trouble getting rid of your subjective view and judging the situation from an outsider’s eye, try changing the names of the characters in your story. Replace your name and key characters with other names to make “your” story less than “yours”. The important thing is to try to put some distance between you and another version of “you”. Do the same for the person you’re trying to get away from.
- Or imagine that the situation you’re going through happens to your friend and his partner. What advice would you give? Did you tell him it was time to let go?
- Make sure you’re honest with the person that you’re not going to judge them for their answers, that you want to get to the bottom of the matter and not just to feel better.
- Ask them if they really think what you’re going to do is right. Ask them if you were part of the cause of the relationship’s deterioration.
- To find a therapist in your area, try searching the internet.
- You can ask yourself a few specific questions in your journal that can help you determine if it’s time to let go. How often does your partner make it clear that he’s afraid of responsibility, or is he threatening to break up like someone who takes the initiative? Is your partner jealous instead of excited about your success? Has he cheated on you? Do you and your partner have very different needs for intimacy? If you write down, think about these questions, and answer any of them correctly, this is a signal that it’s time to let go. Journaling about your relationship can make it easier to deal with the breakup. [2] X Trusted Sources American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- After writing down your thoughts and examining them thoroughly, stop and consider them again the next day. If still nothing changes, then that is probably correct.
- Be honest with your partner and let him know that you’re struggling with unfair thoughts and that you want to work on making the relationship better. He’ll probably respect your honesty and straightforwardness and will be more than willing to try harder to match you.
- To find out if you’re ruining things for your ideal type, ask for advice from friends, family, or acquaintances. Let those people consider whether you are being unrealistic or whether your thinking about the relationship or the other person’s “fault” is completely correct.
- You can also ask yourself the following [3] X Research Sources :
- Do you think (unrealistically) that your physiological needs will always be satisfied whenever you need them?
- Do you think (unrealistically) that your partner should fulfill all of your requirements?
- Do you want your other half to fulfill all your needs?
- Although letting go of someone’s hand can be difficult, don’t wallow in guilt; it’s better for him to find someone who truly loves and cares for him instead of being with him because of guilt.
Rate Your Relationship
- All of these can be signs that there’s something wrong with your relationship. It’s fine to argue from time to time, but there’s a huge gap between what’s normal and what’s unusual.
- If you find you want to end things by arguments too often, you can ask yourself a few questions. Why are you two arguing? What are you two arguing about? Have you guys ever argued about it before or is it brand new? If you find yourself arguing to hurt the other person, or realize that the two of you are making a fuss over petty issues, or arguing over and over again because the two of you are struggling with Solve the problems, maybe it’s time to let go. [7] X Research Sources
- Remember that you want to look for frequent discomforts or a typical sign of frustration that is repeated over and over again. Don’t go too deep into each case because sometimes we all feel frustrated with our partners.
- However, if you’re having some serious issues and you’re still in love with that person, consider seeing a relationship counselor and realigning your different feelings.
- It’s never easy hearing someone you’ve been with for a long time say you’re no longer ‘something’ to them; however, in the long run, you’ll feel better around someone who truly loves you for who you are.
- Don’t sell yourself cheap by being with a cheater. As soon as you confirm that he cheated on you, leave him immediately. You deserve more than that. Move on and try to forgive him, otherwise he will still have some influence on you. [11] X Research Source
- If you are no longer happy with him/her and you feel that the happy feelings of being together are fading, make a decision and tell him/her. Always be honest with yourself and with the other person. Decide what is good for both of you.
Advice
- Do what you think is right, not what your friends tell you to do. This is your situation, and so no matter what advice you get, including this article, do what feels right after considering all the opinions.
- Take your time and be as sure as possible about your decision before making it happen. If you’re still not ready to break up or you find that your reasons don’t fall within any of the reasons listed above, don’t let go or you could end up ruining the relationship.
- Letting go can be difficult, but you need to face reality. Yes, you want to be happy but you can’t be happy if you keep holding on to someone or something that hurts you.
- Make sure you don’t hesitate with your decision. One of the easiest ways to lose someone’s respect for you is to say something and then take it back. If you write an inscription in the sand, be sure to never erase it.
- Missing your ex is part of the letting go. Time passes and you will bounce back.
- When it causes you more suffering than happiness, it’s time to let go.
- Remember that you need to take care and love yourself first. Letting go of someone can make them feel hurt, but most of all, it’s you that you need to worry about.
Warning
- Don’t go back to that person or you will walk in your own footsteps again and the road will never have a happy ending.
- You should talk to the person about the breakup before making it happen. It’s possible that his actions are due to something else, like work, rather than you, and if that’s the case, you don’t want to ruin a relationship because of misjudgments. own mistake.
This article was co-written by Guy Reichard. Guy Reichard is a life coach and founder of Coaching Breakthroughs, a professional life coaching practice based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with clients to create meaning, purpose and peace in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal development and resilience coaching, helping clients discover their true selves and connect with their innermost values. He is a certified career coach by Adler and the International Federation of Coaches. He earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from York University in 1997 and a master’s degree in business administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 12,573 times.
Letting go of someone you love is extremely difficult. Change is never easy, especially when it means letting go of someone you love or care so much about. However, once you realize that it’s time for you to do so, you can start saving the situation and trying to make a fresh start and possibly a whole new you!
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