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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 25,828 times.
If you are worried that your partner or lover is cheating on you, you are not alone. According to current statistics, up to 15% of women and 25% of men have ever had an extramarital relationship. This number goes up to 20% when it comes to romance or intimacy. [1] X Research Sources When you suspect your spouse or partner is having an affair, there are many signs you can look out for to determine if you are a victim of betrayal. Your partner may exhibit unusual or strange behavior, or you may notice a change in their daily routine and spending habits. It’s not easy to spot infidelity, but you can observe your partner’s behavior to recognize some of the signs of infidelity and take the necessary steps to mend or end the relationship.
Steps
Relationship Rating
- The most common warning sign is simply when your spouse tells you something is wrong, but you dismiss their complaint. Some common phrases like, “This marriage isn’t what it used to be,” “I’m unhappy,” “I need more.” [2] X Research Source
- More frequent conflicts in a relationship could signal a relationship in trouble. Whether this conflict is the result of infidelity or the betrayal is a response to an unhappy relationship, arguing with your partner regularly is a sign that your relationship needs improvement. .
- Harsh criticism from your partner can be a sign that something is wrong. If the other person often criticizes you without being overt, for example saying that you need to “go to the gym”, “lose weight”, “go to the doctor”, they are probably trying to make you feel like you are in a weak position. to justify their adultery. [3] X Research Sources
- Pay attention to whether your partner is indifferent to being intimate with you. If you already have someone else to cuddle with, they don’t seem to need it from you.
- Notice how the other person interacts with you. Does your spouse no longer hold hands or show sudden affection for you? The physical distance between you and your partner can also signal emotional distance.
- Notice when the two of you are intimate with each other to see if it feels different than usual. Your partner can practice new sex techniques they’ve just learned or practice with someone new. [5] X Research Sources
- If you are indifferent to your partner, chances are that they will find someone else to satisfy their sexual and emotional needs. Your partner may jump into an affair simply trying to get his or her spouse’s interest and want to prove to themselves that they’re still very attractive.
- If you don’t spend a lot of time with your partner, or focus too much on work or children, they may feel lonely and want to find someone who is there for them.
- If you’re abusing your partner, an affair could be a way for them to get revenge on you and increase their trust, or a solution to getting out of a current relationship. [6] X Research Sources
- Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and calm, not when you’re angry. If you start the discussion in a negative atmosphere, it will become more difficult to have an effective conversation. Think of it as a “conversation” not “interrogation”. [8] X Research Sources
- Choose the right place to chat. If privacy is important, choose an area where no one will be there. If public places make you more comfortable, offer to go for a walk with your partner or go to a nearby park. The ideal place might be a high-traffic one, but you can easily leave if the discussion gets heated.
- Try to start a conversation by talking about yourself. Use non-judgmental sentences, like “Something’s weighing you down.” Or “I’m worried about our relationship”. Start sentences with yourself instead of the other person. This will help reduce the opponent’s death reaction. [9] X Research Source
- Notice if the other person is willing to discuss your concerns. It’s a good sign if your partner is willing to make an effort to improve your relationship through dialogue or emotional counseling. [10] X Research Source
Notice changes in your partner’s appearance
- See if your partner changes their wardrobe. [13] X Research Source For example, if your partner usually wears sportswear, but suddenly they start wearing suits or tailored clothes, this could be a sign of infidelity, especially if there aren’t any major lifestyle changes, like a promotion at work.
- Your partner can join a gym class or start exercising more to improve his physique or lose weight to satisfy his new lover. Their new audience might be working out or working out at the gym, which they frequent. [14] X Research Source
- The sudden act of focusing on appearance and preoccupation with good-looking appearance is a potential sign that someone has someone who wants to impress.
- See if your partner is bathing, cleaning between teeth, shaving, and other grooming activities more often.
- Identify new makeup, perfume, or deodorant that your partner is using or has left over from someone. It is not natural that it is said that the lipstick on the collar will denounce the man’s adultery.
- Watch to see if your partner changes their hairstyle. Did they suddenly change their appearance or start dyeing their hair?
Conduct investigations
- Notice how often your partner makes excuses for their plans, like staying late for work, traffic jams, or some other mishap to explain why they’re less likely to stay home.
- If it seems like your spouse wants to go out with friends unexpectedly without you, this could be the perfect excuse to get them out of the house. Notice if the other party is no longer inviting you to events or company trips.
- Pay more attention to unexpected business trips or other excuses they might make for being away from home for a long time.
- Plus, if your unexpected absences don’t matter, and your partner doesn’t seem to mind you staying late for work or going away, they may be taking the opportunity to spend time with someone else.
- Your partner can justify not answering the phone. They may argue that the phone just ran out of battery, or because of a technical fault, or that it was in an area with no signal.
- Be alert if the other person reassures them that they are too busy to answer the phone or suggests that you let them call.
- Did your spouse turn off the phone during the time when you could still make calls? The other party can put the phone on silent mode to have the opportunity to stay next to the other person without fear of being disturbed.
- Check some details on a shopping receipt or restaurant bill. Look through the receipt to find the contact phone number. Find hotel room keys, movie ticket stubs, and the like. [18] X Research Sources
- You should also look around enemy vehicles. Some unfaithful partners will hide or stash items that could reveal secrets in miscellaneous drawers, ashtrays, or under the car seat.
- Take a close look at your partner’s social media accounts. Find out how often they only talk to that special someone. The fact that they regularly talk to their ex can be a warning sign.
- Check to see if your partner closes a new desktop or app window when you enter the room, or if they regularly clear their browser history.
- Look for receipts for large withdrawals or shopping receipts from a store or some other place that you rarely or never go to.
- Watch for credit or debit card transactions from restaurants or pubs you’ve never been to.
Monitor your phone usage habits
- Pay attention to whether your partner keeps his or her phone with him at all times, such as when going to the bathroom, when taking a shower, or when going out to take out the trash. This could be a sign that they don’t want you near the phone. [20] X Research Source
- Some people may change the settings on their phone to password protect or lock the phone. This is done to prevent you from accessing their personal data, like contact phone numbers or messages.
- Watch to see if your partner acts shady when calling or texting, like abruptly ending the call when you walk into the room. Does your spouse try to hide the message they are composing, or delete the message hastily after sending or receiving?
- If your partner is frequently whispering on the phone, it could be that they are trying not to let you overhear their conversation with their new lover.
- Prepaid phones are usually cheap and easy to buy. If your spouse has a prepaid phone that doesn’t serve any work or legitimate purpose, then it’s time to question whether they have something to hide.
- Look inside your handbag or purse to find your secret phone. It is obvious that the other half will not leave this secret phone in a conspicuous place.
- A good place to hide a second secret phone is in the car. Try looking inside the miscellaneous box or under the seat.
- Watch for strange or new bills that arrive at your home. If your partner signs a bill for a second phone with the shipper, there will probably be a paper contract. However, if they are careful, they can use electronic delivery invoices.
Warning
- Remember that all of the things listed above can be signs of infidelity, or can also be interpreted in a completely innocent way. If you accuse your spouse of betrayal, or are caught investigating them – checking their wallets, phones, reading their emails – this can really cause problems in the relationship. which had not happened before.
- Men and women often show the same signs of infidelity. Infidelity is not always limited to men, although it is believed that men often cheat for sexual gratification, while women tend to cheat for sexual gratification. have a cold. Today, thanks to increasing economic and human opportunities for women, independence among married women is also common. In parallel with this independence is the higher rate of adulterous wives. [22] X Research Sources Paver, F., <i>Daring Wives: Insight Into Women’s Desire for Extramarital Affairs</i>, 2006, ISBN 9780275988135
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 25,828 times.
If you are worried that your partner or lover is cheating on you, you are not alone. According to current statistics, up to 15% of women and 25% of men have ever had an extramarital relationship. This number goes up to 20% when it comes to romance or intimacy. [1] X Research Sources When you suspect your spouse or partner is having an affair, there are many signs you can look out for to determine if you are a victim of betrayal. Your partner may exhibit unusual or strange behavior, or you may notice a change in their daily routine and spending habits. It’s not easy to spot infidelity, but you can observe your partner’s behavior to spot some signs of infidelity and take the necessary steps to mend or end the relationship.
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