How to Know Someone is Depressed

Depression is a serious mental health problem. People with depression need specialist help and support. There are some signs to watch out for if you suspect someone is suffering from depression. Pay attention to any changes in the person’s behavior. People with depression may sleep less, eat less, or lose weight. You should also pay attention to their mood swings. People with depression may experience mood swings and difficulty concentrating. Be sure to seek professional help if you believe the person is thinking about suicide.

Table of Contents

Assess the person’s mood

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Observe the loss of pleasure. Anhedonia, a syndrome of loss of pleasure in daily activities, is a very common manifestation of depression. Look for signs that the person is no longer interested in activities they once enjoyed. ^{[1] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

You can see this phenomenon happen silently. For example, a person who likes to socialize suddenly turns down an invitation to go out. A colleague who used to work while listening to music now works in silence.
You may also notice that the person seems quiet or expressionless. They may no longer smile or laugh out loud at jokes, for example a friend of yours doesn’t seem interested or seems lethargic in social events.

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Pay attention to pessimism. Depression often leads to a pessimistic outlook on life. If suddenly the person is constantly thinking about the worst, depression may be the cause. A pessimistic attitude for a day or two may just be due to a bad mood, but if it persists for a long time, it may be a sign of depression. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Sometimes this is very obvious. A depressed person might say something like, “There’s no hope.” However, the signs of pessimism are often difficult to spot. Depressed people may make statements that sound more realistic than pessimistic.
For example, someone who is depressed might say something like, “I studied very hard for this exam, but I don’t know if I can get a good score.” It sounds like the person is just seeing the situation realistically, but what if If they often make such statements, they may be depressed.
A pessimistic attitude that persists for several weeks could be a sign of depression.

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Notice the expression pretending to be happy. Pretending to be happy is a phrase that describes a person who tries to appear happy in front of others. The person may act like everything is fine and act happier than usual. However, this cover-up cannot last forever, so the person who is pretending to be happy may avoid contact with people for fear of being discovered. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Even though the person looks happy, you still have the feeling that something is wrong. The person may always smile when they see you, but you still feel like they’re avoiding you.
Maybe you see a happy-looking person who declines invitations to hang out, doesn’t respond to texts or phone calls, or acts aloof from everyone else.
If these behaviors continue for several days, it is a sign of depression.

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Observe mood swings. People with depression are often prone to emotional changes. An ordinary person who is still carefree can suddenly be moody all day long. Mood swings are a very common manifestation of depression. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

The person may be more irritable and hostile when depressed. For example, a depressed friend might get mad at you for being a few minutes late to an event.
People with depression can be very short-tempered. For example, one of your colleagues may suddenly get angry while explaining something to you at the office.
If this only happens once or twice, it may just be because they had a bad day. However, such behavior over a long period of time may be indicative of depression.

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Notice if the person has trouble concentrating. Depression can block a person’s mind with negative thoughts, and this can make it difficult to concentrate. If the person is depressed, you may notice a drop in their productivity. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Along with depression, attention deficit disorder often affects the person’s work and social life. A depressed friend can have a hard time maintaining a conversation. A depressed student may suddenly submit assignments late or not at all.
Frequent deadlines and forgetting tasks are also common signs of people with attention deficit disorder. A coworker who is always on time and now often forgets to attend meetings and does reports could be a sign of depression.

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Recognize signs of excessive torment. People with depression can often feel guilty. Feeling nauseous about every aspect of your life can be a sign of depression. If the person feels guilty all the time, especially over little things, they may be depressed. ^{[6] X Research Source}

The person might talk about feelings of guilt about past and present mistakes. For example, “I regret not studying harder in college. I should have done better in today’s meeting. I’m dragging the whole company down.”
People with depression may also feel guilty about their feelings or way of life. They may apologize for not being a good friend or feel sorry for being upset.

Observe changes in behavior

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Pay attention to changes in sleep patterns. Depression often disrupts sleep. People with depression may have trouble sleeping or sleeping too much. You may not know other people’s sleeping habits, but listen to their stories or changes in behavior that suggest they have a sleep problem. ^{[7] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

The easiest way to know about a person’s sleep pattern change is to listen to them talk. For example, the person complains of not getting enough sleep or being lethargic.
Changes in behavior can also signal a change in the person’s sleep patterns. A person who seems groggy or drowsy during the day may be due to lack of sleep.
If your roommate, lover or family member suddenly sleeps a lot, they may be suffering from depression.
Note that many factors, including physical ailments, can lead to changes in sleep habits. Watch for long-term sleep changes along with other depressive symptoms.

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Pay attention to changes in appetite. People with depression may binge eat in response to stress. They may also lose their appetite and eat less. ^{[8] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

If the person is binge eating, you may find that they snack more often and eat more during meals. For example, you may notice your roommate suddenly orders food several times a day.
If the person is anorexic, they often skip meals. For example, maybe you noticed a depressed coworker stopped eating lunch.

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Be aware of the person’s alcohol and drug use. Substance abuse can be a key sign of depression. While not everyone with depression experiences substance abuse, many do. Many depressed people start drinking alcohol or using other stimulants. ^{[9] X Research Source}

If you live next to someone who is depressed, you may notice that they use drugs more often. For example, your roommate drinks alcohol almost every night, even if there is class the next morning.
You may also notice a coworker or friend becoming increasingly dependent on stimulants. The coworker may take more breaks to smoke. The friend may suddenly be out drinking and often overdo it.

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Observe changes in weight. Due to changes in appetite and physical activity levels, many people with depression also change in weight. This is the most obvious symptom. Depression can change up to 5% of body weight in a month. People who are depressed may lose or gain weight. ^{[10] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

If you notice that the person has recently gained or lost weight along with some other symptoms, then the person is most likely suffering from depression.

Pay attention to danger signs

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Pay attention to statements about death. If a person wants to commit suicide, they may suddenly talk about death more. You may find the person pondering over death more and often bringing up the subject. For example, they might suggest whether there is life after death. ^{[11] X Research Source}

In severe cases, a person with suicidal thoughts may say something like, “If only I could die.”

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Note negative statements. People who want to commit suicide often have very negative views of themselves and their lives. You may notice that they don’t believe things will change and are constantly talking about it. Their common feeling is despair. ^{[12] X Research Source}

The person may say things like “Life is too hard” or “There is no way out of this situation” or “There is nothing I can do to make the situation better.”
They may also have a very negative view of themselves. You may hear them say things like “I’m just a burden to others” or “You shouldn’t have to worry about me.”

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Note if the person arranges their work. This phenomenon is a red flag. The person may work overtime to pay off the debt. They may also unexpectedly want to make a will or give away valuables. ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Listen to discussions regarding suicide plans. One of the most dangerous signs of suicidal thoughts is that the person arranges the plan. If the person is looking to obtain a deadly weapon or poison, they may be planning to commit suicide. You may even find that the person wrote something like a suicide note. ^{[14] X Research Source}

When a person actually plans to commit suicide, the situation is very critical. You should call emergency services right away. The person’s life may be at stake.

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Take the right action if you think someone is contemplating suicide. If you suspect a person is dying, your actions are very important. Suicidal thoughts are an emergency and also need to be managed. ^{[15] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

Do not leave someone who is contemplating suicide alone. If the person tries to harm himself, call the police or emergency services in your area. You should also tell the person’s family or friends as soon as possible.
If you are not with the person, advise them to call 18001567, the Youth Confidentiality hotline of the Vietnam Center for Psychological Crisis Prevention. In the US, you can call the national suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255. If in other countries you need to find similar hotlines, such as no. this phone in the UK is +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90. ^{[16] X Research Source}
People who are contemplating suicide need professional intervention as soon as possible. It is important that you find them a therapist or counselor. A person who wants to commit suicide may need to be temporarily hospitalized.

Solving problems

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Talk to that person. If you suspect someone is depressed, give them the opportunity to speak up. While professional help is needed, talking can also help. People with depression need the support of loved ones by their side. ^{[17] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

Talk to the person about your concerns. You can start with something like, “I’ve been thinking you’ve been acting strange lately and I’m a little worried.”
Tactfully handle the symptoms that concern you. For example, “You seem tired lately. I know there’s a reason, but are you okay?”
Let the person know that you’re always ready to help them with something like, “If you want to talk, I’d be happy to listen.”

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Encourage the person to seek specialist help. You alone cannot help someone with depression. Try to get the person to see a psychiatrist or therapist to work through the problem. They may need psychotherapy or medication. ^{[18] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

You should offer to help them find a therapist. If your friend is still in school, you can direct them to a school counseling center.

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Tell the person that you are willing to continue to support them. People with depression need ongoing help. Let them know that you are available to drive them to therapy sessions, help them keep track of their treatment schedule, and support them in life as they experience depression. ^{[19] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

However, don’t forget that you can’t solve other people’s problems. Although you can support the person, the person with depression still needs to seek professional help.

Advice

If the person doesn’t want to talk, don’t force them. You just need to let them know that you are willing to listen.
If the person is a new mom, she may have postpartum depression.
If you suspect someone is depressed, never tell them, “Stop being like that,” or “You just want attention.” Such comments will make them more harsh with themselves or push them to the limit.

Warning

If you think someone is about to harm themselves, call 113. (Call 911 if you are in the US).

Steps