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This article was co-written by Tasha Rube, LMSW. Tasha Rube is a licensed social worker in Missouri. She received her MSW degree from the University of Missouri in 2014.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 25,634 times.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone or tried to engage in a conversation and wondered if the person didn’t like talking to you? Maybe the person doesn’t want to communicate for a variety of reasons ranging from being tired or not wanting you to interrupt their private conversation. But by observing body language and listening to the framework of your words, you can determine if someone is not wanting to talk to you and then politely walk away. the conversation.
Steps
Observe body language and speech patterns
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Understand the hidden meaning. If you’re texting or using social media, it can be hard for you to observe the person’s body language. But by reading response cues and knowing how long it takes them to respond to messages, you can judge if they don’t want to talk to you.
- Look for “saw” messages on a website like Facebook, Instagram, or Whatsapp. If it takes a long time for the person to respond to a text you send, or if they don’t, they may not be interested in communicating with you.
- Pay attention to the person’s offline actions when you send them a message.
- Check the person’s response. If they respond with a single word like “yeah,” “yeah,” or similar, there’s a good chance they are no longer interested in the conversation or don’t want to talk to you.
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Listen to the person’s tone of voice. The tone of voice that other people use when conversing will tell you a lot about how they feel. Paying attention to this factor will help you determine if the other person is paying attention and suggest you an elegant end to the conversation. [1] X Source of Research You should ask yourself a few questions about the other person’s tone of voice:
- Do they get upset when I say something?
- Does the person look tired, sluggish, or bored when answering?
- Are they quite happy or excited about their interaction?
- Does the person seem to question everything they say? [2] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
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Determine who is leading the conversation. If you suspect that the other person does not want to communicate with you, you should determine who is leading the conversation. This is also a signal to let you know that the person is not interested and you need to stop talking.
- See if you can hear your own voice better than the other person’s, this shows that the person is no longer interested in the story.
- Wait a moment to see if they have anything more to say. It could also be that they want to talk but you are overwhelming them.
- Check to see if you can join the conversation if there are more than two people in the group. If not, you should try saying something and observing the other person’s reaction.
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Listen to the response. The way the other person responds to your answers and words will tell you if they want to talk or not. The following types of statements can show that the other person is bored or doesn’t want to talk to you:
- Use languid responses like “yeah yeah”, “you are right”, or “of course”.
- Repeat your statement “It’s really cold today” with the answer “Yes, it’s cold”. [3] X Research Sources
- Ignore the question or statement.
- Answer with one word or a brief sentence consisting of a simple “yes” or “no”. Gestures like nodding can also be a sign that the person doesn’t want to talk.
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Observe eye contact. The old adage once said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Watching someone else’s eyes can tell you if they want to communicate. The following signs may indicate that your partner is no longer interested:
- Look down at the floor.
- Look around the room.
- Watch the clock. [4] X Research Sources
- Eyes dull. [5] X Research Sources
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Pay attention to the position of the body. Just as another person’s gaze can tell you a lot about their focus on a conversation, so can body posture. You should observe the way the person stands to see if they are interested in the conversation. [6] X Research Source
- Find out if the other person is mimicking your posture and pointing his body towards you. If not, maybe they want to end the story. [7] X Research Sources
- Check to see if the person is facing you. If not, it means they don’t want to continue the conversation. [8] X Research Sources
- Watch to see if the person’s feet are pointed towards you, which is also a sign of whether they want to talk.
- Pay attention to the distance between the two. If the person doesn’t approach you, they may not want to communicate with you. [9] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source
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Check body language. Body language is a great hint about how others feel about you or your conversation. Some examples of body language that indicate a person doesn’t want to talk to you include:
- The body is rigid or immobile.
- Stretch and shrug your shoulders. [10] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- Cross your arms in front of your chest.
- Touch your neck or play with it.
- Stirring or fidgeting.
- Yawn. [11] X Research Source
Please leave politely
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Avoid panic or anger. Sometimes, people simply don’t want to talk, get busy, or run into problems in their personal lives. You should not panic and get angry with the person. Sympathize with them and apologize politely, this will prevent you and the person from continuing the awkward conversation. [12] X Research Source
- Try your best not to show your feelings to the other person.
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Use common excuses. You can use a variety of reasons to end the story, such as having to go to the bathroom or make a phone call. [13] X Source of Research If you find that the other person doesn’t seem interested, you should use the “easy exit” to end the conversation while keeping things positive. [14] X Research Source You might say:
- I’ll go get more drinks.
- I have to take or make an important call.
- I need to use the restroom.
- Acting unwell and in need of fresh air. [15] X Research Source
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Look for natural transitions in the conversation. If something interrupts your story, you should use it as an opportunity to retreat. [16] X Research Resources This method will help you exit the conversation in a positive way.
- Find something in the room that makes you “realize” a problem. For example, you could say “well, I didn’t know it was late. I have to go home to put my daughter to bed,” after looking at your wall clock or wristwatch.
- See if any other people can join the conversation for you to quit. [17] X Research Source
- Wait for a pause in the conversation and use it as a transition to the end of the story. For example, you could say, “I’m glad I could talk to you, but I have an early meeting so I have to hurry.” [18] X Research Sources
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Show your appreciation for the person’s time. You will easily detach yourself from the unproductive conversation by ending the process as if it were for the good of the other party. You can say something like “I don’t want to monopolize all of your time” to end the story. [19] X Research Source
- Say something like, “You’re probably trying to talk to someone else, so I’m sorry.” [20] X Research Sources
- Remember to use your tone and body language as sincerely as possible. [21] X Research Source
- Avoid using this method too often as it can make you look insincere. [22] X Research Source
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Ask for the person’s business card or contact information. Asking about how to contact the person would be a natural sign that the conversation is coming to an end. You should look for a nice way to say you had a good conversation and want more information. [23] X Research Sources
- Ask specific questions about the other person’s job, course, or interests. You can ask something like, “I’d love to know more about it. Do you have a business card or information so I can contact you to find out more?”.
- You should remember to read the information they give you as this is a sign of respect. [24] X Research Sources
- Offer to help the person. You might say, “I’d love to chat with you and learn more about your work. If you need any help, just let me know.” [25] X Research Sources
- You should use this tactic with people you don’t know well.
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Complete the conversation. If you realize that the other person no longer wants to talk to you, you should find a way to end the conversation by returning to the beginning. Remember to repeat what you’ve learned and thank them for their time. [26] X Research Source
- You need to transition in the most natural way possible. You can ask about something related to the beginning of the conversation to end it. [27] X Research Source
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Thank the person for their time. Even if you know that they don’t want to communicate with you and can be quite rude, you should behave in a right way and keep things positive. [28] X Research Sources Remember to let the person know that you had a great conversation – even if it wasn’t – and thank them for their time. [29] X Research Sources
- You can say something like, “I’m sorry but I have to leave. I had a very pleasant conversation with you Van, and I would like to thank you for your helpful advice.”
- Add the person’s name to your last sentence to show that you respect and always remember them. [30] X Research Source
- You should remember to maintain the positivity of the saying “sweet honey kills flies”.
Ask after the conversation
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You should remember that everyone will have bad days. If you’re still not sure if the person doesn’t want to talk to you, remember that everyone has bad days. This will help you take the first step in checking in with the person to determine if they’ve had a bad day or if they really don’t want to talk to you.
- You should contact them after a few days. This way, they’ll have time to deal with their problems and stop feeling resentful of you.
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Send a friendly message. You can contact the person via text, email, social media, or by phone. You can also drop by their office or classroom. This action will open the door to fresh conversation and help you determine the person’s attitude toward communicating with you.
- Keep the message short and friendly. You should emphasize the joy you get from your last meeting. [31] X Research Source For example, you could write something like “I had a pretty good time with you during our conversation the other day. Hope you’re fine. Would you like to go out for a coffee to chat?”
- Avoid sending lengthy messages or sending too many messages at once. The response you get to a simple text like this tells you a lot about the person’s attitude.
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Determine the person’s attitude. You should observe the person’s response and the amount of time they spend reading and responding to messages. From there, you’ll be able to pinpoint when the person doesn’t want to talk to you.
- Pay attention to the person’s timing and response. If they only respond briefly like “sorry, I can’t see you”, chances are they don’t want to communicate with you. If the response is more friendly and enthusiastic, the person may have had a bad day the last time you saw each other.
- You should see hesitation in your response as a sign that the person doesn’t want to talk to you.
- Avoid sending more check-in messages so you don’t upset the person – and in turn, can bring you frustration.
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Keep distance. If someone’s lukewarm response or lack of communication makes you realize that they don’t want to talk to you, you should stay away from them. This situation not only upsets you and the other person, but can also have other consequences such as forming a bad reputation.
- Avoid sending more messages, unfriending or unfollowing them on social media. This will show you clearly understand that the person doesn’t want to talk to you.
- Allow the person to contact you if they wish and decide on their own response. Perhaps you’ll want to consider giving the person more opportunities. Being kind to others won’t hurt you, even if they don’t usually treat you well.
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This article was co-written by Tasha Rube, LMSW. Tasha Rube is a licensed social worker in Missouri. She received her MSW degree from the University of Missouri in 2014.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 25,634 times.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone or tried to engage in a conversation and wondered if the person didn’t like talking to you? Maybe the person doesn’t want to communicate for a variety of reasons ranging from being tired or not wanting you to interrupt their private conversation. But by observing body language and listening to the framework of your words, you can determine if someone is not wanting to talk to you and then politely walk away. the conversation.
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