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This article was co-written by Rebecca Kason, PsyD. Rebecca Kason is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in New York and New Jersey. She specializes in adolescent mental health, dialectical behavior therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Kason treats patients with mood disorders, behavioral disorders, communication difficulties, family conflicts, anxiety, depression, and phobias. She holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Delaware, a master’s degree in applied psychology, and a doctorate in clinical psychology from Long Island University. Kason completed an APA-certified internship at the Mount Sinai Services health system. She is a member of the American Psychological Association and the Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 38,034 times.
Insensitivity can affect your ability to communicate with others, leading to loss and loneliness. It can be difficult to objectively assess yourself, or determine if you are emotionless. However, it is very helpful to pay close attention to your emotional reactions and how people treat you. You should also see if you have a psychological disorder that affects your ability to empathize.
Steps
Evaluate your own behavior
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Ask yourself, “Do I really care? “ One of the main characteristics of insensitive people is a lack of empathy. Although empathy manifests itself in varying degrees, some people are more empathetic than others, having little empathy can make you cold and uncompassionate.
- There are two types of empathy: rational empathy and emotional empathy. Rational empathy involves the ability to understand other people’s thoughts logically by seeing things from their point of view. You may not have a strong emotional reaction to someone else’s point of view, but to some extent, at least you understand. Emotional empathy is the ability to grasp the feelings of others. For example, if someone receives bad news, you will feel sad. [1] X Research Source
- See if you have one of those two types of empathy. Do you try to understand the other person’s point of view when they explain something to you? Do you seek to ask questions, capture information, and listen? When others are sad or suffering, do you share the same feelings? Do you easily understand how others feel? If a friend or colleague looks upset, do you feel the urge to ask what’s wrong? [2] X Research Source
- Often, emotionless people are not aware of the needs and feelings of others. Notice how often you actively seek out other people’s thoughts. If you spend most of your time thinking about yourself, you’re probably an emotionless person.
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Notice how people treat you. People tend to avoid emotionless people. You can tell if you are insensitive by observing how other people treat you.
- Do people talk to you when you’re at a social event? If you’re usually the one starting a conversation, people may be afraid to talk to you because of the way you present yourself. Do people want to continue the conversation with you or tend to make excuses to walk away?
- Do people laugh when you make jokes? Often, emotionless people joke in a way like no other. If people don’t smile, or stay silent and smile wryly, you may be emotionless.
- Do people come to you when they need you? If you are emotionless, people will be afraid to ask you for help or open up to you about their problems. If you are always the last person in the group to know, for example, about a friend’s divorce or a family member’s unemployment, it may be because you often say the wrong thing under those circumstances. This is a sign of indifference.
- Has anyone ever told you that you are emotionless? Although it may seem obvious, many people avoid such criticism because of their sensitivity to others. However, if someone or many people openly talk about your behavior, you are probably insensitive.
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Consider your behavior. The emotionless behavior manifests itself differently from person to person. However, there are certain behaviors that are considered rude or gross. You may be insensitive if you have any of the following behaviors:
- Talk about topics that make others uncomfortable or don’t understand. For example, keep talking about your PhD program even though no one in the room knows anything about the topic. [3] X Research Sources
- Sharing opinions at the wrong time, such as harshly criticizing obesity in front of a colleague you know is struggling with weight issues. [4] X Research Sources
- Bringing up inappropriate topics, like talking about recreational drug use, in front of your partner’s parents. [5] X Research Sources
- Annoyed when someone doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. [6] X Research Sources
- Criticize others for their mistakes or circumstances without considering their individual qualifications or efforts. [7] X Research Sources
- Be rude and demanding towards restaurant staff. [8] X Research Sources
- Lack of tact or denigrating others. For example, if you don’t like someone’s outfit, you might say, “You’re so fat in this one” instead of avoiding such a comment or offering more subtle advice like, “I think the color is different.” It will make you look better.” [9] X Research Source
Learn to be self-aware and empathetic
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Practice reading other people’s emotions. It may be difficult for you to recognize the physical expressions that signal different emotions, but everyone is born with that ability. Like other skills, if you spend time practicing reading people’s emotions, you will improve. [10] X Research Source
- Observe people in crowded places (like shopping malls, amusement parks, or parks). Try to use context, body language, and expressions to identify who is feeling embarrassed, stressed or excited, etc. [11] X Research Source
- Learn body language, especially facial expressions, as well as how they express different emotions. For example, sadness is expressed in drooping eyelids, slightly drooping corners of the mouth, and raised eyebrows. [12] X Research Source
- Watch TV dramas and try to understand the emotions the actors express. Use context, facial expressions, and body language. Mute the radio so you don’t get the flow of the story through the dialogue. When you feel you’ve got the hang of it, move on to lighter plays, in which actors use more nuanced expressions to convey emotion. [13] X Research Source
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Learn to show interest. Maybe you are emotionless because you find it uncomfortable and awkward to show your emotions. Instead of saying something awkward or insincere when you see someone sad, you stay silent. Admittedly, it can seem daunting to share with friends by saying, “I’m sorry to hear that…”, but you know, things become more natural when you try and try it many times. [14] X Research Source
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Understand the need for emotions. To you, sadness can be meaningless, irrational, and weak. Maybe you wonder why people don’t take a closer look at the problem and find a solution. But emotion is an integral part of the decision-making process, just like logic. Emotions can be the motivator to change your life, discomfort is often the lever to get out of a deadlock. [15] X Research Source
- Emotions are necessary for healthy, successful social connection and communication. [16] X Research Source
- Remember that emotions are simply part of being human. Even if you don’t understand them or think it makes no sense, you need to know that most people don’t think like you. [17] X Research Source
- Sometimes it’s okay to pretend. You may not understand why someone is sad or so elated, but showing a little concern is also the most sensitive thing you can do. You don’t have to be happy that your coworker is about to have a grandchild called auntie, but you don’t have to lose anything by smiling and congratulating her. [18] X Research Sources
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Pay more attention to your emotions. Emotions make you uncomfortable, embarrassing, or maybe you were taught to hide or suppress your emotions, or you just listened to reason. Whatever the reason, you need to reduce your personal feelings that can make it difficult to empathize. [19] X Research Source
- If you have to suppress your emotions to cope with hurt or tend to struggle with anxiety, you need a counselor or therapist to help you work through those feelings. [20] X Research Source
- Ask yourself every day: “How am I feeling?”. Stopping and checking can help you begin to recognize emotions as they arise. [21] X Research Source
- Identify the methods you use to avoid emotions such as: playing games or watching television, focusing on work, drinking alcohol or other drugs, exaggerating situations, or making jokes about them. that. [22] X Research Source
- Allow yourself to feel the emotion. Don’t hold back your emotions once you’re in a safe, private place. Let the emotions come in and try to observe how your body reacts. Documenting physical changes (such as eyebrows furrowed and mouth pursed when angry) can help you recognize emotions as they arise in you as well as in others. [23] X Research Sources
Consider psychological causes
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Learn the symptoms of narcissism. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in people who take themselves too seriously and tend to lack empathy. This disease is quite rare with an incidence rate from 0% to 6.2% per community survey sample. [24] X American Psychiatric Association Research Resources (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed. American Psychiatric Publishing: Washington, DC Of those diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, 50-75% are men. [25] X American Psychiatric Association Research Resources (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 5th ed. American Psychiatric Publishing: Washington, DC
- Symptoms of the illness include self-esteem, need for recognition or praise, need to brag about one’s success or abilities, jealousy of others, or belief that others are jealous of one’s self. yourself, and expect the people around you to give you special treatment. People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to think of themselves and their own needs as the center of the universe. [26] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Common criticisms or setbacks can cause intense episodes of stress for someone with this condition. This is often the first thing that prompts them to seek help. However, you don’t have to wait that long. If you are concerned you may have symptoms of narcissism, make an appointment to see a therapist. [27] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
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Consider autism, including Asperger’s syndrome. People with autism often have difficulty understanding social cues and how to respond. They tend to be straightforward and honest, easily perceived as emotionless.
- You may have autism if you care too much about other people’s feelings and don’t want to see people upset, which is also considered insensitive. The “insensitivity” seen in many people with autism may manifest as retardation, overwhelm, and misunderstanding rather than a lack of concern. [28] X Research Sources[29] X Research Sources
- Other symptoms of autism include strong emotions, arousal (unusual restlessness), reluctance to make eye contact, retardation, excessive special interests, need to do repetitive tasks, [30] ] X Source of research and generally slow to understand. [31] X Research Source
- Although autism is often identified in children, symptoms can be overlooked or hidden, with some people not being detected until adolescence or adulthood. Talk to a therapist if you think you have symptoms of autism. [32] X Research Source
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Learn about different personality disorders. Many personality disorders cause insensitivity towards others. This symptom is a group of mental illnesses that cause long-term unhealthy patterns of thinking and behaving. Although all personality disorders can cause some degree of apathy, the following are most commonly associated with a lack of empathy: [33] X Research Sources
- Antisocial personality disorder is associated with a lack of ability to distinguish right from wrong, hostility, aggression, violence, lack of long-term relationships, unnecessary risk-taking, and egotism. egotism. [34] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Borderline personality disorder is difficulty regulating emotions or thoughts, frequent risky or impulsive behaviors, and difficulty maintaining stable, long-term relationships. [35] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to source
- Schizophrenia is a lack of social relationships, paranoid thinking, and excessive anxiety. [36] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to source
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See a therapist if needed. If you feel you may have one of these disorders, discuss your concerns with a therapist or psychologist. Although many online questionnaires can indicate whether you have symptoms of certain disorders, only a specialist can make an accurate diagnosis. You can find a therapist by checking your insurance to see which doctors or hospitals are covered. You can also ask your doctor for a referral. If you are a student, the school may offer free counseling.
Advice
- Ask someone you trust if you are emotionless.
Warning
- If you believe you may have a mental disorder, do your research before self-diagnosing. It’s best to talk to your doctor to get an official diagnosis, instead of trying to figure it out on your own. Never self-prescribe medication.
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This article was co-written by Rebecca Kason, PsyD. Rebecca Kason is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in New York and New Jersey. She specializes in adolescent mental health, dialectical behavior therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Kason treats patients with mood disorders, behavioral disorders, communication difficulties, family conflicts, anxiety, depression, and phobias. She holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Delaware, a master’s degree in applied psychology, and a doctorate in clinical psychology from Long Island University. Kason completed an APA-certified internship at the Mount Sinai Services health system. She is a member of the American Psychological Association and the Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 38,034 times.
Insensitivity can affect your ability to communicate with others, leading to loss and loneliness. It can be difficult to objectively assess yourself, or determine if you are emotionless. However, it is very helpful to pay close attention to your emotional reactions and how people treat you. You should also see if you have a psychological disorder that affects your ability to empathize.
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