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It’s easy to think that your guy is the perfect match, but it’s hard to know for sure. To see if you’re really serious about him – and if he deserves it – read these tips and strategies.
Steps
The Feeling He Gives You
- Of course, that doesn’t mean there aren’t any differences between the two of you! Differences of opinion and ideas will always arise, no matter how much you love each other. Unconditional similarity is not the key, but what matters is the commitment to overcome any conflict in a healthy and respectful way.
How He Treats You
- Don’t worry too much if he doesn’t do it, though. Some guys are shy about sharing their feelings. Ask him why he never says love first, and tell him you love hearing words of love. This can make him more comfortable saying he loves you.
- Keep this thought of balance in mind. Neither of you should ignore each other’s needs, which means that as well as taking care of his needs, you also need to make sure he takes care of yours.
- If he proposes to you too soon (say, less than a year), take the time to analyze why he’s in such a hurry. If you’re inclined to be content, suggest a long engagement period to be sure.
- If he doesn’t discuss your shared future at all – even after a long period of time (say, a year) – he may not even consider your future.
How You Treat Him
- Do you include him in your family plans, like asking him to go on a vacation with your family (or even assuming he’ll go with your family without an invitation)?
- Do you want to help him get along with his family (or defend him) because it’s so important that they like you?
- Have you ever suggested that he call your mom when he needs advice on cooking, cleaning, etc.?
How The Two of You Stay Together
- Do you find that one of you is becoming increasingly possessive, jealous, distrustful, lazy, or constantly stressed? That’s definitely not someone you want to be with. They’re definitely not the right person for you, and you won’t like the person you’ll become when you’re with them.
- Do you find that the two of you inspire each other to be better together? Do you strive more in life and for yourself when you’re with him? And so is he? Do you help each other become better and happier? It is a healthy relationship and you will help your partner’s life improve more positively.
- Look for the difference between what is said and what is communicated . We are often blindsided when someone makes sweet words about their love, making it impossible for us to see if they have done anything to prove their words. In the same way, we can get upset because someone refuses to say anything sweet, to the point that we don’t notice the kind and loving gestures they bring. Think about whether one of you falls into any of these categories.
Advice
- Become each other’s best friends to build a good relationship. It’s important for the two of you to listen to each other and compromise without arguing too much.
- Get to know him at his worst. If you can accept that as part of the relationship then he might be the right guy, but don’t get into a relationship thinking it’s changing some aspect of him, it just create pressure and discord in your relationship.
- If he talks about you to his friends, that’s a great sign. That means he’s not embarrassed, even proud of you. If he keeps the relationship a secret, then he might not be the right person.
- The most important thing is to trust your hunch. Pay attention to your feelings and the reasons behind them. Are you in too much of a hurry? Or is something holding you back?
- Please be patient. Don’t let him take over your body. If he doesn’t respect that, things will spiral out of control.
- Watch him as he is with his parents, siblings, and elders in his life. Does he respect and love them? Watching him when he was with his father, did he love and respect his choice? The same goes for the women in his life, right?
- Don’t give him all the attention. If he needs your full attention and becomes upset or clingy when you’re not taking care of him, take this as a signal to stop.
- Don’t expect the two of you to talk or see each other every day. However, it only takes a minute to send a text or make a phone call to assure your partner that you’re thinking about them.
- Pay special attention to how he reacts when things don’t go well for him. Does he manage his emotions well?
- Don’t ask him to be completely devoted to you. Doing so runs the risk of making him feel suffocated and this will only push him away from you.
- If he tries to control you, the situation can lead to abuse, so end the relationship as soon as you can.
- Don’t burn the relationship and judge the other person too quickly. Good things take time to show up! You may see a change in him after a certain period of time, so keep your heart open and the answer to a long-term relationship will come.
Warning
- If he remains friends with his ex but doesn’t respect your limits and feelings on the matter, then he doesn’t consider you important enough to change his relationship with his ex. (But remember, ultimatums are not the answer! If he has a close relationship with his ex and you make unreasonable demands about how much or how little he has to talk to his ex, you may be making him see that he’s dating the wrong person.)
- If he does something that you don’t want to tell your best friend, ask yourself if you’re being honest with yourself. If your best friend told her her boyfriend was doing the same thing, what would you tell her? Kick him? Talk to that person? Calm? Be true to yourself and take care of yourself as you would a good friend.
- If he makes big decisions (like changing his career or moving to a new city) without your presence in them, he doesn’t see you as a permanent part of his life.
- If when you say, “I love you so much, so much, so much” and he hesitantly replies, “Yes, I love you too,” he may not love you as much as you do for him.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 62 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 9,010 times.
It’s easy to think that your guy is the perfect match, but it’s hard to know for sure. To see if you’re really serious about him — and if he deserves it — read these tips and strategies.
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