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This article was co-written by JT Tran. JT Tran is a relationship consultant and relationship columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs ABCs of Attraction, a dating training program that teaches Asian men and women how to overcome the sociocultural sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of relationship counseling experience, JT has provided emotional and relationship advice when it comes to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University and the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Entrepreneurship . His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, Huffington Post, Channel News Asia and Voice of America News TV.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,325 times.
Maybe you catch a glimpse of your other half and suddenly feel elated. Maybe you just woke up and were just thinking about making love. There are times when we suddenly really want to have sex. It doesn’t matter what causes the desire, all you need is to make your partner want it too. In fact, this is not exactly a strange secret. With just open communication with a little daring, you will be able to initiate and make love with your partner.
Steps
How to arouse “sex” in bed?
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Try playing the solicitor. Don’t wait for the person to take the initiative. Even if they’re not in the mood, you can still turn the tide by actively taking control of the situation. Give the “green light” with clear signals or take out some sex tools or toys. You can also take a bolder approach by speaking directly. The best part is that if both you and your partner feel comfortable initiating sex, you’ll both end up having more sex and win-win! [1] X Research Source
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You can check if you’re not sure. Try cuddling to gauge your partner’s level of interest. Kissing is also an effective way to stimulate sexual arousal. You can push your emotions higher by exploring the person with your hands. Remember to pay attention to how they react when you touch them. If your opponent seems to be enjoying themselves, you may be able to step forward victoriously. If they seem hesitant or want to stop you, stop. [2] X Research Source
How to initiate “sex” in a long-term relationship?
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Don’t think you know how to make your partner feel desirable. Even though the two of you have been together for a long time and you know your partner very well, sex is another aspect. Research suggests that many people know only a fraction of their partner’s sexual interest or they’re completely wrong. If you want to have more sex with your partner, you need to know how to make him or her desirable. [3] X Research Sources
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Ask your partner what makes them feel excited to see what you have to do. For example: “Do you want me to ask or touch you?” or “When making love, do you prefer surprises or anticipation?” Listen to the other person’s answer. Your partner will feel that you care about how they feel (which is more sexy than you think), and you’ll know what to do to arouse your partner’s sexual needs in the future. [4] X Research Sources
- Communication is a really effective way to maintain an enjoyable sex life. When you know what the other person wants, you can stimulate them effectively and vice versa.
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Do what the other half wants or swap active roles. Find creative and fun ways to arouse your partner’s sexual interest based on what they like. For example, if your partner likes surprises, you could be waiting in the bedroom when they get home from work. Or simply swap the active role in the “sex”. While it doesn’t sound like much at first, it’s more fun than you think. Although both of you have different ways to initiate sex, a sense of anticipation and curiosity about what the other is going to do, plus the desire that comes from both sides will help keep the emotions up. [5] X Research Sources
How to start the “rainy clouds” in the morning?
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A gentle foreplay can stimulate the person. Imagine one morning, you and your partner are tired but quite comfortable, this is a great foundation for sex. Maybe the other half just needs a little nudge to get started. Try stroking yourself or your partner. If you’re really excited, you can even initiate oral sex to warm up. Once things are a bit warmer, both of you can do simple, yet extremely stimulating and effective poses, such as spoon-down (remember: it’s morning and everyone’s tired). It’s really hard to have a bad day after that exciting morning shower with your partner. [6] X Research Sources
- Only do things that you feel comfortable with, and remember to pay attention to whether the other person is comfortable with that or not.
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Don’t worry about personal hygiene if the time is right. Sexual interest can be extinguished if you are constantly worrying about your breath or body odor. Maybe the other party really didn’t notice it at all. When both are feeling lust, the other half’s breath also becomes hot. At the same time, you don’t need to worry about having to change your pajamas. Either way, the clothes will eventually be taken off. If the feeling is right, don’t hesitate! [7] X Research Sources
- If you’re feeling insecure, keep some mints on your nightstand, or drink some water for a quick breather and start the fun right away.
Are men interested when their other half initiates sex?
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Most men love that! Almost everyone enjoys sex. The point here is to find out how the person likes to initiate sex. You can try a few different ways, such as surprising him with sexy pajamas or spending time with hot foreplay. However, to stimulate a man’s desire most effectively, you need to ask about the things he likes. Ask him what he likes and how he wants it to happen. Open and clear communication is the key to making your sex life more intimate and harmonious. [8] X Research Sources
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Find out how to ignite your guy’s sexual fire. If he refuses to go any further, it’s not so much because of the timing but maybe because of the way in which you are sexually aroused. Don’t assume you know exactly what he likes. Talk about what he likes or dislikes so you can figure out how to make sex go more smoothly. Spontaneous and fresh sex is also fun, but you should talk to your partner about how they feel. If he doesn’t like it, don’t force it because that can make the other person lose interest. [9] X Research Source
What are some creative ways to start having sex?
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Wear sexy clothes to send a clear message. Speed up the process by surprising them with some underwear or clothing that you know the other person can’t sit still. You can also try pretending to be shy to tease them, or get straight to the point. After all, if you wear that outfit, that person will know what happens next. [10] X Research Source
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Leave a few tools that show a very clear hint. Put some handcuffs on the bed or sex toys that your partner likes to use. When your partner sees the sign you’re leaving, they’ll know what’s about to happen. It doesn’t have to be something explicitly sex-related. Sometimes you just need to turn on the music or turn off the TV to get your partner’s attention. [11] X Research Source
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You can also send provocative messages to tease them. For example, when the person is on the way home and receives the text: “Go to the bedroom as soon as you get home. I’m waiting here”, they will immediately know what you want. Texting is also a fun, stealthy way to seduce. Let’s say you’re in the living room with the kids or family. You can send naughty messages to tease your partner and evoke emotions for an intimate moment later. [12] X Research Source
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Start moving downwards when the opponent is not looking. Try approaching them at normal times, like a kiss when you just got home or when your partner is getting ready for work. Let your hands explore their body, and if the person shows interest, you can suddenly switch to oral sex, which then leads to “sex”. [13] X Research Source
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Don’t underestimate the opportunities that come with your partner’s housework or daily chores. It is clear that washing dishes or folding clothes does not seem like a desire-generating situation. But it could be the perfect time to reach out and try to arouse your partner’s sexual interest. What’s more, both of you will feel forward to the boring chores later on if that’s the situation where the fun begins. [14] X Research Source
Advice
- Make an effort to communicate honestly and openly about sex. The more you get to know the person, the more likely you are to excite them!
- Don’t forget to respect the other person’s feelings and consent. Your goal is to make your partner want to have sex, not make love despite their feelings.
Warning
- Don’t force your partner to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable. This can affect your sex life as well as relationships.
X
This article was co-written by JT Tran. JT Tran is a relationship consultant and relationship columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs ABCs of Attraction, a dating training program that teaches Asian men and women how to overcome the sociocultural sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of relationship counseling experience, JT has provided emotional and relationship advice when it comes to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University and the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Entrepreneurship . His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, Huffington Post, Channel News Asia and Voice of America News TV.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,325 times.
Maybe you catch a glimpse of your other half and suddenly feel elated. Maybe you just woke up and were just thinking about making love. There are times when we suddenly really want to have sex. It doesn’t matter what causes the desire, all you need is to make your partner want it too. In fact, this is not exactly a strange secret. With just open communication with a little daring, you will be able to initiate and make love with your partner.
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