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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
This article has been viewed 2,335 times.
Willpower is essential to accomplishing many difficult tasks. If you want to lose weight, quit smoking, or achieve a certain career goal, willpower is crucial. Set goals for yourself, pursue them, and make lifestyle changes to increase your flexibility.
Steps
Set goals
- In Bird By Bird , writer Anne Lamott describes how her brother did academic reports on the taxonomy of many different bird breeds. Having to finish a project at the last minute left her brother feeling overwhelmed. Her father came over, put his hand on her brother’s shoulder, and said, “One by one. You just have to sort them out one by one.” This means that a large task can be broken down into parts in control. [1] X Research Source
- If you want to get something done and feel overwhelmed, break the big task into smaller, manageable tasks. If there’s a 20-page assignment, promise yourself to write 2 pages a day for weeks until your deadline. If you want to lose 18 kg, aim to lose 3.5 kg a month. If you want to be able to run 8km, use an app like “Couch to 5K” to gradually build up your speed and strength over time. When you break big tasks into smaller chunks, they naturally become more doable. [2] X Research Source
- Let’s say if you wanted to start exercising 5 days a week and at the moment you’re not exercising at all, you’ll burn out in a week when working towards your goal. Instead, create a schedule. Decide to exercise 2 days a week for a week, then increase the intensity to 3 days, 4 days, and 5 days. [3] X Research Sources
- Monitor success. Invest in a large calendar that can be posted on the fridge or on the wall. Write a small note about success for a certain day on the calendar. For example, on October 3, write something like, “Running 5km today.” Seeing true success can give you a sense of pride, motivating you to keep trying. [4] X Research Sources
- For example, if you’re trying not to eat sweets anymore, but you’re having a birthday party and you know there’s going to be a cake there. Make a pre-party plan that says, “If someone offered me a piece of cake, I would choose to eat some fruit salad that I brought.” [6] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Having a plan in place at the right time can take the pressure off your willpower, because you’ve already made the decision and don’t have to struggle with the urge to eat sweets in that moment. [7] X Credible Sources American Psychpogical Association Go to the source This can work, even if self-control has been impaired.
Focus on what needs to be done
- It helps to speak or write clearly about your actions. Identify what you did, why you did it, and how you felt. For example, “”I was stressed about finishing my essay, so I decided to distract myself by watching television. I’ll try to manage my stress better so I can finish writing and get things done instead of feeling lazy and lousy.” On the contrary, it should be something like, “I wrote 2 today. essay page because I want to stay on schedule and it helps me feel useful and positive.” [8] X Research Source
- Putting the responsibility on yourself requires absolute honesty. It also enhances impulse control and “flawless vigilance”, and a sense of responsibility when you stop blaming some external factor on the situation. This is a good support for willpower as you will sustain the change of reality with your strength alone. [9] X Research Source
- Take note of the negative thought. Daily journaling has many benefits, and one thing you can do is keep a journal of the negative thoughts that pop up throughout the day. [10] X Research Sources You will soon be able to identify patterns in negative messages and begin to uncover their origins.
- When you identify a negative thought, like “I’m not able to achieve my goals,” ask if this is really true. Do it by looking at the real evidence, not just by negative sounds telling you. It is possible to create 2 columns in a daily diary, one column is evidence “for” a certain belief, the other column “against” it. In the “Support” column, you can write: “I’ve been trying for a month not to eat sweets and I just can’t. I don’t feel strong enough to change my habits.” In the column “Objection”, you can write “When I set smaller, more achievable goals, I can accomplish them. When I do things day by day or week by week, I achieve a lot of success. In the past, I’ve had success with my goals of finishing school, getting a promotion at the company, and quitting smoking. Maybe before, I couldn’t just give up my sugar consumption outright when I was so fond of sweets. I need to try again, maybe a different method.”
- For an in-depth look at negative thoughts and how to control them, check out more articles on how to deal with negative thoughts.
- Build a self-reward system. For example, if you’re trying to lose weight, promise yourself you can buy a new piece of clothing each week as you stick to your diet and exercise schedule. [11] X Research Source
- Each person has a self-reward system that works for them. Find something you enjoy, and choose to be kind to yourself often. Having a special occasion reward means you can continue on your chosen path for a longer period of time, providing stronger willpower. [12] X Research Source
Lifestyle change
- Incorporate certain activities into your daily routine, such as exercise and study. This can help combat stress. If doing willpower is seen as an important part of everyday life, like brushing your teeth in the evening, you’re less likely to avoid these things when you’re stressed. [13] X Research Source
- People with good habits are also less affected by stress. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and a consistent sleep schedule can help lessen the impact of life’s stress on you. [14] X Research Source
- Procrastination often has its roots in perfectionism. People tend to give up on things when they are stressed about having to do them perfectly. Understand that procrastinating doesn’t actually reduce stress, but also has a high risk of increasing it. You’d be better off working in spite of the constraints rather than contemplating the task at hand. [15] X Research Source
- For certain tasks, like quitting drinking or smoking, having a support group at a hospital or community center can be helpful.
- Talk to friends and family members about what you’re trying to accomplish. Ask them to support and support you throughout the process. For example, if you’re trying to cut down on alcohol, ask family members not to drink in front of you.
Advice
- Don’t be afraid to start over with something worthwhile, if you’ve had a break or a failure. Just as Rome was not built in a day, everything takes time, so take a break to rest when you need to.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
This article has been viewed 2,335 times.
Willpower is essential to accomplishing many difficult tasks. If you want to lose weight, quit smoking, or achieve a certain career goal, willpower is crucial. Set goals for yourself, pursue them, and make lifestyle changes to increase your flexibility.
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