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This article was co-written by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Ohio. She received her Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 9,487 times.
Have you ever wondered, “Why do other people treat me like this?”. If someone (stranger, friend, or loved one) treats you badly, you probably always want to know why. You will find the answer by observing their behavior and consulting others. The next step is to talk openly with the person about why they are treating you badly. Finally, learn to set healthy boundaries with people who don’t appreciate you.
Steps
Evaluate the behavior of the person who treats you badly
- Write down any unusual things you notice in their behavior. For example, they don’t seem interested when you talk to them. You should write down exactly what happened.
- For example, maybe they received bad news at school and when you came to chat, they showed a lack of enthusiasm. That bad news may be the cause of their misbehavior, not you. [2] X Research Source
- Another example is you accidentally knocking a friend out of the game. Because they are left out, they are not happy and get angry with you. Acknowledging your mistake and apologizing can help you resolve the issue.
- However, you should also not take your feelings lightly when doing this. Even if you understand the cause, you don’t necessarily have to forgive or compromise if their actions hurt you.
- You might ask, “I’ve noticed that Xuan has been mean-spirited lately. Did you see that?”
- However, if you can’t find a good reason, or if you suspect they’re deliberately treating you badly, talk to them directly.
- You need to determine if the person is important enough for you to be willing to ignore the issue.
Talk to them about what’s going on
- You can say, “Nam, can I talk to you for a minute?”
- You should talk about what’s going on with you, like, “All week long, I’ve noticed that every time I greet you, you don’t say anything.”
- Next, express how you feel about the action by saying, “I feel hurt when I am ignored.” [6] X Research Source
- Try suggesting by saying, “Can you explain why you’re acting like that?”
- However, they may not acknowledge their behavior or refuse to explain. Some people even blame you.
- For example, with the example above, you could say, “If you continue to ignore me, I won’t say hello to you anymore.”
- Another example involves your reaction to being offended. Your boundaries will be expressed by saying “Stop calling me by that name. If you don’t stop, I’ll tell the teacher.”
Get the treatment you deserve
- If they ask why you ended the relationship, simply say, “I did it to protect myself because you didn’t treat me the way you wanted to.”
- For example, you shouldn’t belittle or say negative things about yourself in front of others. Walk and act confidently, with your head held high and your chest straight.
- You can also let others know how they should treat you by making a clear request (“I really need to talk to someone”) or by being supportive of being treated properly. (“Thank you for respecting my privacy”). [10] X Research Source
This article was co-written by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Ohio. She received her Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 9,487 times.
Have you ever wondered, “Why do other people treat me like this?”. If someone (stranger, friend, or loved one) treats you badly, you probably always want to know why. You will find the answer by observing their behavior and consulting others. The next step is to talk openly with the person about why they are treating you badly. Finally, learn to set healthy boundaries with people who don’t appreciate you.
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