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Sexual orientation is not only bidirectional, it exists continuously on a range. [1] X Source of Research Therefore, finding and accepting one’s sexual orientation is a long, complex and emotional journey. This process can be tiring, but be strong to find your true self. Be honest and open-minded with yourself, trusting your instincts. Listen to the body. Acknowledge the true feelings and tendencies that are going on. Accept your findings through this process. [2] X Research Source
Steps
Identify sexual orientation
- Do you want to learn the female body? Do you notice a woman’s smile, style, or features?
- Does your heart beat faster every time you meet an attractive woman?
- Do you dream about a certain girl?
- Do you have sexual desire with women?
- Do you like kissing or having sex with women? [4] X Research Sources
Eric A. Samuels, PsyD
Clinical psychologist
Dr. Eric A. Samuels is a clinical psychologist practicing privately in San Francisco and Oakland, California. He received his doctorate in clinical psychology from the Wright Institute in 2016 and is a member of the American Psychological Association and Gaylesta – Association of Psychotherapists on Gender and Sexual Diversity. Eric specializes in working with men, young people, and people of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities.
Clinical psychologist
Our experts agree : When you question your gender identity or sexual identity, it’s important who you find yourself attracted to. Take some extra time and be mindful of your sexuality or romantic relationship ideas. Think about who you find attractive, or who you find attractive. It could be people in your community, but it could also be people from the media like TV and movies.
- Take the Kinsey Measure test. The Kinsey scale is used to measure sexual orientation. The test is designed to determine where you fall on the scale – from heterosexual to gay. You will not be labeled as heterosexual, bisexual or gay. The test consists of 13 true/false questions and asks for very little demographic information. [6] X Research Sources
- Take the Epstein Sexual Orientation Inventory test. Test designed by Robert Epstein to assess a person’s sexual orientation, he is one of America’s most prominent psychologists. Instead of assigning a specific name to your sexual orientation, the results simply indicate where you are on a continuous scale that reflects sexual orientation. This 18-question test only takes 5 minutes to complete. [7] X Research Sources
Acknowledge and accept the results of self-discovery
- Sexual orientation exists on a continuum, it is variable but not fixed. Your sexual orientation may not fit standard definitions, and that’s completely normal. This condition is also particularly common. [9] X Research Source
- Bisexuals may not be equally attracted to both sexes. They may prefer men to women or vice versa.
- Women who consider themselves gay also sometimes find men attractive.
- Identify negative self-talk. Are you telling any bad lies about yourself? Does the thought arise in certain situations, like when talking to a family member?
- Replace this negative expression with an upbeat statement that you come up with. When you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t deserve to be happy,” take a deep breath, smile, and tell yourself that you are “very precious, lovable, and worth living a life of. happy!”
- See your doctor or counselor to come up with theories about how parents and friends will react. Consider how parents and friends treat homosexuals. Think about how they react to this difficult news. [12] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to source
- If your parents or friends are often openly anti-gay, you should be cautious. [13] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
Live an authentic life
- Learn to distinguish between biological sex and social sex, familiarize yourself with different sexual orientations.
- Read academic papers on the subject of the LGBT community.
- Update news about the LGBT community.
- Talk to friends and family you can trust.
- Join a local support group or become a member of an online support community. [17] X Research Source
- Join a church or temple that acknowledges the LGBT community, so you can interact with people who share your religious values.
- gaychurch.org provides a list of Catholic churches that acknowledge gay, bisexual, and transgender people.
- You can also search the internet for a list of such churches or temples in your area.
This article is co-authored by a team of editors and trained researchers who confirm the accuracy and completeness of the article.
The wikiHow Content Management team carefully monitors the work of editors to ensure that every article is up to a high standard of quality.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 55,797 times.
Sexual orientation is not only bidirectional, it exists continuously on a range. [1] X Source of Research Therefore, finding and accepting one’s sexual orientation is a long, complex and emotional journey. This process can be tiring, but be strong to find your true self. Be honest and open-minded with yourself, trusting your instincts. Listen to the body. Acknowledge the true feelings and tendencies that are going on. Accept your findings through this process. [2] X Research Source
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