How to Hug a Guy

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This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.

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A real hug shouldn’t be too rigid, forced, or intimidating. All it takes to be able to really hug someone is a sincere desire to hug them. Men don’t expect movement or technique, they just need you to really pay attention to the hug. You don’t have to be sexy, shy, or feel special, just wrap your arms around them and hold them for a few seconds.

Table of Contents

Hug The Other In A Romantic Way

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Initiate a hug by lightly touching the other person’s hand, making eye contact, or smiling. Whether you’re in love or just dating, this is a great way to transition into a hug. Just doing so is enough! A casual touch can signal a casual hug and an intimate touch can lead to an intimate hug. Stroll his hand a few times, or let it rest on his arm for a moment. Make eye contact or smack behind him and tilt your head at him. If you want a hug, hug him.

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Wrap your arms around your opponent. Don’t think too much, just wrap your arms around him. In general, your hand will slide between his arm and upper body, wrapping your arms around his back for a deeper, more intimate hug. However, if you want to be romantic, there are other ways to hug your partner: ^{[1] X Research Source}

Wrap one arm behind your opponent’s back, just above the waist. Place another hand around your opponent’s neck and place your fingers between your opponent’s neck and shoulders.
Gently put your left hand on the left (or right) side of his neck. If you want to be more romantic, you can gently run your hand through his hair.
Place your hand gently on the other person’s chest, wrapping the other arm around the waist. ^{[2] X Research Source}

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Lean your upper body towards him. When you put your arm around his neck or chest, lean your upper body towards him. Leaning your upper body against his is called a “heart to heart” hug. If you’re taller than him, you can comfortably put your hand on his shoulder. If you’re shorter than him, turn your head so your cheek touches his chest.

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Relax your body and relax in his arms. Just do it slowly and comfortably. A simple hug is an opportunity to be intimate and enjoy each other’s feelings. If the initial hug position is not correct, move your arms and body to a more comfortable position. If you’ve got the hug right, stay in that position until the moment is over or when you feel him start to push away.

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Get closer to him if you want to be more intimate. Leaning your upper body on him will show romantic emotions, but still be relatively gentle. Let your hands move freely or intertwine your feet to express stronger emotions and more intense desires.

Use your fingers to gently rub his back, neck, or chest to show more warmth.
Pull his head down with a kiss if appropriate or if both of you want more than a hug.

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Slowly release when appropriate. Instead of stepping back and immediately and stopping contact, step back a little while your hands are still on his shoulder or chest. Look each other in the eye and smile, or move in and give each other another kiss.

If you feel him gently push away, don’t try to hold him any tighter. Go with your emotions and let things happen naturally.
There is no right time for a hug, you just have to feel it and enjoy it. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Hug a Male Friend

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Make eye contact and extend your arms before you start moving again. You don’t have to date someone to give them a great warm hug. However, with unsympathetic male friends, you usually just give him a hello. Make eye contact, smile, and open your arms. Unless he holds out his hand for a handshake or is embarrassed/avoiding eye contact, give him a hug.

Be flexible – if the other person doesn’t seem to want a hug, don’t hug them. If they want a hug, or you’re not sure, just be yourself and do what you want. Very few guys complain about a casual hug.

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Open your arms and step closer to the opponent. You will feel intimate and comfortable putting your arms around each other and touching each other’s chest. In general, your feet should stand 15-20 cm away from them, but don’t worry too much about that. This is just a regular hug, so just be normal. As long as you don’t lean too deeply into them and pull them close, you won’t mislead them.

Open your arms as wide as you feel. You are free to extend your arms if you want an open hug.
If your partner doesn’t seem to want a hug, you can hug him across the back. Move to his side and put your arm around his shoulders. A one-handed hug can save you many embarrassing moments.

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Slide your hand under his if the opponent is taller than you. Just make sure your head is facing his. If you are taller than your opponent, have them put their hands under yours. This isn’t a hard rule, of course, but it’s generally easier to get into a hug if you don’t have to bend down to get your hand under someone’s arm.

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Arms around his back. Once your hands are fixed according to the other person’s reaction, move your hands around their body gently but still hugging. Keep your body comfortable while wrapping your arms around them. Your hands can be extended and touch the opponent’s back or shoulders, or you can squeeze your hands behind them.

Don’t think about yourself too much while hugging someone. That will make you feel awkward. Instead, focus on the person you’re hugging and try to enjoy the moment.
Just smile if things go wrong and you feel awkward. Hugs aren’t complicated signals or bonding rituals – it’s just a way of greeting someone cordially. Don’t speculate too much.

Know The Moment When to Hug

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Pay attention to open arms and body language. There is much debate about the moment between a handshake and a hug. One of the most recognizable signs is the person’s hand. If they extend their right hand towards you then you can be pretty sure they just want to shake your hand. However, if their arms are outstretched and their torso extended, it’s a great sign that they’re waiting for a hug.

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Switch to a simple handshake to save your awkward hug. If you’re stuck between a handshake and a hug, wrap one arm around the other person’s lower back to turn it into a one-arm hug. Lean in just enough for your shoulder to touch him, but don’t show that you want to hug him if you don’t. You can keep your distance, keep yourself just enough distance from him to feel more natural.

This is an effective way to extinguish the “what should I do” moment. Just put your arm around, give it a quick hug and then stand up straight again.

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Adjust yourself if the guy feels surprised or unsure of what to do. If you want, there’s no reason why you can’t let go of your hand or simply turn into a real hug. If successful, the other person will be closer to you, so just start and continue in whatever way you feel comfortable. Make eye contact with your partner and continue to do so – many guys don’t like being hugged by women. Therefore, there are many times when you should switch to their handshake, for example:

In business or work situations.
The first time you meet your opponent.
When you’re not sure about the limit he’s set
If you don’t know/feel unsafe about local or international custom.

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Skip the awkwardness of hugging someone and move on to something different, like just saying hello. You will feel a sense of ease or intimacy. For example, you start waving, then high-five or punch. Such actions will create a sense of innocence and purity between you and the other person. You can also start by high five and then move into a hug, or you can tease him by tapping or punching him on the shoulder. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

If he smiles, make eye contact, and if all goes well you can give him a hug when you say goodbye.
Waving quickly and smiling from a distance is often a good way to determine if the other person wants to hug you or not. If he responds in a friendly way, move on.

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Avoid hugging if you don’t want to hug with a smile and raise your hand firmly. If you know someone who is a stalker, or you simply don’t want to hug, you don’t have to force yourself, just let go and let go. Make eye contact and smile, then shake hands. In the rare cases where the other person won’t let go, you can use your free hand to adjust to him, making it clear that you don’t want to go any further than a handshake.

If you really, really don’t want to hug them, give them a big smile and say something like, “It’s great to see you, let me shake your hand.” ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Advice

Above all, be natural. As long as it feels natural, your body will be able to respond to your intentions, and you’ll have a better chance of conveying the true meaning of the hug.
If you don’t feel comfortable hugging a guy or hugging in a particular situation, don’t force yourself to hug them.
If you feel the hug is coming to an end and you want to be close to him, wrap your arms around his waist. Turn around so you can lean slightly against him and choose whether you want to touch him with your upper body or lower body. Catch a glimpse of him and smile then rest your head on him. Any man would fall for that gesture and consider it a very seductive gesture.

Warning

Understand that not everyone is good at hugging. If a male friend or relative feels uncomfortable hugging you, don’t push yourself towards them. Respecting their wishes is the best way to show your charm than trying to throw yourself into his arms.
You also need to know when it’s inappropriate to hug a guy. In some cases, a guy may come from a culture that doesn’t accept men and women as friends. Or if your male friend already has a boyfriend, you should also keep your hugs as casual as possible.
If you know he has feelings for you too, but you don’t feel the same way, avoid hugging too much as it can give him more hope.

Steps

Hug The Other In A Romantic Way

Hug a Male Friend

Know The Moment When to Hug

Advice

Warning

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