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Everyone will feel sad at times. Motivating someone is taking the time to listen to them, empathize with what they’re going through, and help them gain a different perspective. If you want to know how to make someone feel better, here are a few easy steps that can help you get them started on the healing process and eventually become happy.
Steps
Listen and Empathize
- Never interrupt when they are in the middle of a story. Unless there’s a pause to let you know you can comment, just comment with exclamations like “Oh” or “Oh my god”. Otherwise, you could be seen as impolite, and even make them feel worse.
- Show genuine interest in their problem, even if you don’t care or don’t know how to understand it. The more you care about their problems, the more you seem to care about them and isn’t that the core of the problem? Everyone wants to be noticed and noticed by others for their success. Try to convey that.
- Don’t make them feel like a burden. Often, people are hesitant to trust someone to talk to about their problems because they don’t want the listener to bear the responsibility. So, if needed, assure the person in need that they’re not a burden, and that you’ll be happy to listen and offer advice where possible.
- Here are a few good questions to ask someone in need of encouragement. Hopefully, they will motivate the person to talk about how he or she is feeling, helping them to vent:
- “How does that make you feel?”
- “Has this ever happened to you?”
- “Is there someone in particular you can turn to for advice?”
- “What do you think you will do when the time comes to act?”
- “Is there anything I can do for you?” (Get ready to help them!)
- Empathy is mainly about how you say something, not what you say. If someone tells you that their dad has just been diagnosed with cancer, it makes no sense to tell them, “I don’t know if this will make you feel better, but my grandfather just diagnosed with cancer.” Instead, say, “I understand how burdensome things like that can be. My grandfather was also diagnosed with cancer last spring, and it was really painful for me to deal with. I can imagine the pain you’re going through right now.”
- Remember, it is rare to find a perfect solution to a problem. Make sure you give the person you’re comforting one option, and make sure they understand that they have other options. One way to do this is to give them advice with words like “probably”, “maybe”, “likely”, etc. This way they won’t feel guilty if they decide to do it. decided not to follow your advice.
- Try to be honest with that person too. The worst thing you can do to someone in such a vulnerable situation is lie. If you’re talking about issues with serious consequences, try to be honest, even if it can be painful. However, if your friend asks for advice about getting dumped by your boyfriend, you can totally call him a jerk even if he’s not. In that case, helping her feel better is far more important than telling the truth.
- Be careful of giving voluntary advice or advice that the person did not ask for. The person may not want it at all, and if they do and fail (it’s not your fault), they may blame you.
- Mail delivery has almost become a very romantic and thoughtful thing. Same goes for e-cards, but if you want to send them a genuine message of interest, send them a card in the mail. Surely they will not expect it!
Give them gestures of kindness
- A gift doesn’t have to be expensive or even a specific object to have an impact. Take them to your secret meditation spot, or show them how to fold a paper crane. Small acts like that are often worth more than anything you can buy from a store.
- Give them something old and meaningful. An heirloom or memento will hold a lot of love because you have kept it for a long time and therefore it is something you hold dear. Old objects are also symbolic messages that life goes on, even if we can’t imagine that it will.
- Don’t be afraid to make fun of yourself. It’s hard to make fun of the person you’re comforting, but making fun of yourself is easy: Highlight a time when you embarrassed yourself, did something stupid, or got caught. in a very awkward situation. Your friend will appreciate the humor.
- Think about what the person likes most in life and see if you can surprise them with that. Maybe they like food; Surprise them with a dinner or sign them up for a cooking class. Maybe they like movies or musicals; Surprise them with a movie night or a pair of tickets to a show.
- Use all of your social insights to gauge where they are in the fun-returning process. If your friend is sobbing, it’s not the time to ask them if they want to hear about your day. But if she/he had an argument with her mother and seems to have calmed down, find out. Timing is the key to everything.
- You don’t have to take them to a club or a bar. Mass gatherings are not always the right solution. A trip to the dog park near you can also immerse them in the cuteness of the dogs, enough to make them forget their sorrows. Do whatever you can to distract your friend. That’s good for them, even if they want to wear their pajamas.
Perform your role
- Use your creativity and ingenuity to solve their problems. Sing out loud a song dedicated to them. Take them hiking with them. Push them your little kitty. What do you have in your skill box? Take advantage of them.
- All problems have a positive side. Sometimes we don’t want to look at it, but it’s usually there. Here are a few ways to think about common problems in a more positive way:
- My lover/other half broke up with me . “Don’t worry about someone who doesn’t fully value you as an individual. If he/she doesn’t understand how special you are, they probably don’t deserve you. There are still so many out there. the right people will understand your worth.”
- A family member/acquaintance has just passed away . “Death is a natural part of life. Although you can’t bring that person back, you can feel happy about how much they have influenced your life, and about how you might have changed their lives. Be grateful for the time you spent with them.”
- I’ve lost my job . “Work is a reflection of who you are, but it’s not the whole picture. Think about the lessons you’ve learned while doing your job, and try to find ways to apply them in your work. your job later. Finding a job is just a matter of trying harder than anyone else. Be determined to show the employer that you’re more qualified than anyone.”
- I have no confidence in myself . “You have so much to be confident about. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses; that’s what makes us unique and great. I like you the way you are right now. I don’t see any difference. There’s no reason why you can’t be as confident as the person next to you.”
- I don’t know what happened, I just know that I feel very sad . “It’s normal to feel melancholy. Our happy moments are made more beautiful by our depressed moments. Don’t force yourself if you don’t feel the same way, but think about yourself. How lucky I was compared to everyone else. It always worked for me.”
- Help them and do all you can for them, so they know that someone still cares about them. This will build trust. They understand that they can count on you. Always do it with a smile.
- Invite them to do something refreshing, like going to the movies, hiking, swimming, or playing a game. If they don’t want to be distracted, don’t bother them: You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. Be happy, wholehearted, and prepared until they want to work things out or forget about them.
- And yet there are times when people should feel sad. It would be absurd to expect a girl to suddenly forget all her troubles when her father died three months ago. Everyone is different and their grieving times are just as different as their fingerprints. If they continue to grieve after an event, the only thing you can do is be with them. He or she will understand.
Advice
- Let’s hug them! (If they agree). Hugging them when they don’t want to make them even more uncomfortable.
- Tell them a funny story or watch something interesting!
- Write them a letter or card telling them how great a friend they are and how much you love and care for them.
- Here are a few gift ideas:
- Scented relaxing candle.
- Chocolate! (If the person is not allergic.)
- A funny certificate of some “achievement”. For example, if they broke up with their partner and are upset about it, give them a certificate of merit “The Saddest Story of the Year”. (However, only do so if they’re in a steady state to accept it. Not everyone will like you doing this, especially if what they’re going through is very serious.)
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 52 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 83,593 times.
Everyone will feel sad at times. Motivating someone is taking the time to listen to them, empathize with what they’re going through, and help them gain a different perspective. If you want to know how to make someone feel better, here are a few easy steps that can help you get them started on the healing process and eventually become happy.
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