How to Help People with Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem, or the way we see ourselves, is one of the factors that make up our emotions. If you are a person with high self-esteem, you will find it very upsetting to see a friend or loved one having problems due to low self-esteem, a negative attitude towards yourself. While you can’t make them feel better about themselves, you can help, support, encourage, and model a positive self-image.

Table of Contents

Express Help

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Be a good friend. A good friend can help by listening to what a friend has to say from the bottom of their heart. ^{[1] X Source of Research} While maintaining a friendship with someone who is in an unstable mood can also be a big challenge, remember that this is only a temporary state and the other person is trying to improve the situation. image.

Try to spend time with friends. People with low self-esteem often lack initiative in proposing plans to others. You should be proactive in planning and following through. Difficulty in accessing and implementing plans for social communication is not a simple problem. This may actually reflect the anxiety, fear, or depression of someone with low self-esteem.
Scheduling regular “appointments” will be very helpful, helping you reduce the need to sit around planning and make sure appointments are scheduled during the week, avoiding going out and not having any relationships. any intended contact. Whether it’s a Sunday afternoon coffee date, a Wednesday night card game, or a daily swim, these dates play an important role in helping your friendship.
Listen to your friends, maintain eye contact during the conversation. Talk about their problems, ask if they’re struggling, and offer help and advice (but only if they ask for it). A little care will have a lasting effect. ^{[2] X Research Source} Showing that you care about your friends will help improve their self-esteem. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Avoid forcing the other party to think this way. It is very risky if you try to make the person you want to help hold a grudge against you just because you directly tell them how to think about themselves, how to act properly. ^{[4] X Research Resources} Instead, you should support and help this friend by accepting them for who they are, and trying to encourage and model positive thinking and self-care. self.

If you try to counter your partner’s negative face, they won’t respond positively. This is not a rational way of solving problems.
- For example, if they say, “I feel so stupid,” and you won’t help by replying, “No, you’re not: you’re very smart.” At this point, it will be easier for them to think of themselves as stupid – which they still think.
- Instead, try responding to “I feel stupid” by saying something like, “I’m so sorry you feel that way. What makes you think like that? Did something happen?” This can create an environment conducive to a productive conversation. ^{[5] X Research Sources}
Listen to their feelings. Just by listening to them, you are giving them strength. You often argue that negative emotions are not worth it, but this action should be avoided.
- Agree: “You sound very frustrated that you don’t have a semi-formal date. I can imagine that this is very difficult for you. I went through the same thing.”
- Disagree: “You shouldn’t be too upset about not having a semi-formal date. It’s no big deal, forget it. It happened to me once and I’m fine. ”

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Deal with the problem, if the other party is capable. If the other person has low self-esteem, then they are more likely to take things personally. The problem lies within themselves and seems unsolvable. It is very helpful to have someone see their problem from a clear perspective. Remember that the problem will only be dealt with after some more negative emotion emerges.

- For the example above: “There are a lot of couples who come to the semi-formal meeting, but I’ve heard that a lot of people go alone. And of course you’re not the only one doing this.” .
- Or: “A lot of us are carpooling, if you want to go there. We’ll welcome you. In fact, if you want I’ll introduce you to my roommate, I was thinking. that you two would be perfect for each other…”

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Volunteer together. Helping others is a great way to boost your self-esteem. By being supportive and trying to help others, you’ll be able to help boost your friends’ self-esteem. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Or try asking them to help you . A person with a negative self-image is actually more willing to help friends than himself. Create an opportunity to help someone take a moment to do something that builds self-esteem.
For example, it can be helpful to ask your partner to help you with your emotional problems or to fix your computer.

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Be a shoulder for your friend to lean on when crying. If they want to share their feelings or tell you why they have low self-esteem, it’s best to listen when they speak. Oftentimes, if someone identifies the cause of their self-esteem issues, they will realize that negative emotions are rooted outside of themselves rather than within themselves. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Suggest adjusting the voice in your heart. Ask your best friend what their inner voice says about themselves. You will probably discover that it is a series of negative words. ^{[8] X Research Source} Teach them how to treat themselves well by stopping negative conversations with themselves and switching to positive, optimistic thoughts.

For example, if their inner voice says, “I messed up all my efforts in the relationship,” this shows that they are extremely pitiful when they are alone in a relationship . It also shows that the person cannot learn from mistakes, or build skills to continue to improve. As a friend, hopefully you will be able to help correct this negative thought with these words:
- “This relationship is fruitless, and the sooner the better. Thank goodness I know now instead of having to wait until I’m married and have 3 kids!”
- “Maybe I need to go through a few love affairs before I meet the right prince of my life. Almost everyone does.”
- “I know I need to be a better communicator. I’ll make an effort to change – that’s something I can improve on.”

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Suggest treatment, tactfully, if you find it helpful. If you find your other friend’s problems are getting worse and you are personally unable to help, get them involved in treatment. Both Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ^{[9] X Research Source} and Psychomotor Therapy ^{[10] X Research Sources} may be useful for low self-esteem.

Maybe you want to color the conversation carefully. You don’t want to alienate your partner or make them think you’ve lost their mind.
If you’ve been through therapy yourself, explain how it helped you.
Don’t be surprised or disappointed if your suggestion is immediately rejected. You may be planting a seed and it will grow and nourish in the soul of the other person; and eventually they will decide to seek advice.

Be a Model of Righteous Self-Esteem

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Spend time with people who have negative thoughts about themselves. Being around people with high self-esteem can help someone who is suffering from low self-esteem. If you take the opportunity to connect with your self-awareness, you will be the ideal model for emotional well-being or happiness.

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Be an example of goal setting, risk taking, and flexibility. People with low self-esteem are often hesitant to make a risky decision or set goals for themselves because they are always afraid of failure. ^{[11] X Research Source} By setting goals to strive for and taking risks on your own, you demonstrate a healthy approach to living. In addition, demonstrating that failure is not a disaster will help show that a person can bounce back, moving forward after setbacks. If possible, share your thought process with someone with low self-esteem. You may want to emphasize that:

What is the goal you are setting and why are you setting it. (I want to run 5000 meters to have a healthy body).
What will you do when you achieve your goal? (When I finish the race, I’ll probably think about running a half-marathon.)
How will you feel if you don’t reach your goal? What if I try my best and do it but it doesn’t work? (I’ll be disappointed if I don’t finish the race but there are always other races available to me. Besides, my real aim is to get in shape. If I were healthier, I would be the person I am. If running doesn’t work, there are other health-boosting activities for me to practice).
The result of risky actions. (I’d get thinner. I might hurt my knees. I might look weird at the gym. I might feel better. Maybe I really like it.)
How do you feel with a few different results? (I’ll be glad I succeeded, confident in myself. Even if the injury gets worse. I hate feeling out of place too.)

Understanding Low Self-esteem

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Accept that your abilities are limited. Basically, self-esteem is a personal matter, and people with low self-esteem must help themselves to actually become better. You can motivate and support them, but you cannot improve their self-esteem.

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Identify symptoms of low self-esteem. Being able to recognize symptoms of low self-esteem can help you in being supportive of someone you love. Some symptoms to watch out for include: ^{[16] X Research Source}

Constantly making negative comments about yourself.
It is difficult to accept everything that is imperfect in life.
Anxiety or panic when strangers are around.
Give up without even trying for fear of failure.
Always on a fierce defensive posture against insignificant provocation.
Thinking that other people always think the worst of them.

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Talk about “talking to yourself”. One of the obvious features of low self-esteem problems is the presence of harsh criticism within them. Usually the other person will say that about themselves. If someone you love is feeling this way too, chances are that they also have negative thoughts about themselves. For example:

“I’m an ugly fat pig, no wonder I don’t have a boyfriend”.
“I hate this job, but no one will ever hire someone like me.”
“I’m a failure.”

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Intervene before the problem gets worse. Be aware that having low self-esteem can get worse, not better, if left untreated over time. If you think someone needs help, you should talk to them as soon as possible. People with low self-esteem issues tend to: ^{[17] X Research Source}

Endure an abusive relationship
Become a bully or abuser yourself
Giving up on dreams and goals for fear of failure
Neglecting personal hygiene
Self-injurious behavior

Practice Self-Care

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Set appropriate limits if necessary. A person with low self-esteem can become extremely pitiful, pitiful. If you want to help them, you might be plagued by calls at 3 a.m., endless conversations about themselves that tire you out, or demands that you meet them while you still have social obligations. other. Therefore, you should set a limit to prevent the friendship from going bad. For example:

Your primary obligation is to your children. This is not to say that friends are not a priority, but listening to your child recount the dance will take precedence over reading poetry from friends.
Calls after 10 p.m. should be a real emergency call. For example, a car accident is an emergency, but breaking up with a girlfriend is not.
Take the time to nurture other relationships. You value this friend but also need to spend time with other friends, family, boyfriend or girlfriend, and even time for yourself.
You will talk about what is bothering your partner, and should also talk about your personal life, hobbies, and other things that concern you. Friendship is a two-way relationship in which there is give-and-take.

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Remember that you are just a friend, not a therapist. A therapist is no ordinary friend, and a friend is certainly not a therapist . In the process of trying to help someone with very low self-esteem, a friend may spend a lot of time and effort helping their poor friend, but to no avail. And this can make both of you feel extremely unhappy and unbalanced. But a therapist can improve a situation that even very close friends often cannot.

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Do not accept abuse. Unfortunately, people with low self-esteem can turn negative towards others. Sometimes this becomes too serious to be abused. No one is forcing you to help someone who hurt you physically, verbally, or otherwise.

Low self-esteem doesn’t give people the “freedom” to be cruel or cruel to others, whatever causes them to have low self-esteem.
You have the right to protect yourself from further harm. You can choose to end the friendship the right way.

Steps

Express Help

Be a Model of Righteous Self-Esteem

Understanding Low Self-esteem

Practice Self-Care

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