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This article was co-written by Laura Horne, MPH. Laura is the program executive director for Active Minds, a leading American nonprofit that supports students with mental health education and awareness. Prior to Active Minds, Laura ran a public health initiative at the County and City Health Workers Association and at Tulane University. She earned a master’s degree in public health from Tulane University. She is certified by the National Commission for the Accreditation of Health Education as a health education specialist.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 32,903 times.
Is your friend going through a tough time? True friendship manifests itself when people find ways to help each other. Sometimes people feel quite embarrassed when a friend of theirs is in bad luck because they don’t know what to say. Do not worry about that. Your presence alone is enough. There are many ways you can help a struggling friend feel better.
Steps
Do the right things
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Constantly offering to help even when they say no. You can’t help your friends if you back off when problems arise. To be a good friend, you need to be willing to be with them during late-night conversations or when they cry. For some people, the difficulties of friends are extremely annoying. That’s not true friendship.
- Even if the person says they want to be left alone, at least offer to help. However, you should not force them to talk when they are not ready. Give the person the space they need, then reach out to them again. Do so a few times. Don’t turn your back and leave. Sometimes people don’t know what to say when a friend is having a hard time, so they don’t say anything or keep their distance. This can hurt your friend even more.
- The primary goal is to offer help. Just knowing that someone is available to listen, offer advice, or show concern can make all the difference to a friend going through a crisis. Call, text or write and just ask, “How are you? Do you need anything or can I help?”
- Part of helping is being available. Always have the phone on, and talk to them at 2 a.m. if they’re in a crisis. Reply to the person’s message. Don’t always be too busy to listen. Don’t think you have to behave differently. Choose the right circumstances and avoid approaching them suddenly if they’re not ready to talk. [1] X Research Source
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Behave calmly because they are already confused enough. Make a lifebuoy for them to cling to when they’re drowning and see yourself as a support for them. Try not to show it even if you are messing with the difficulty.
- Don’t panic. This will only make the friend feel the problem is more serious or unsolvable, and it will confuse them further. Understand that some people need to suffer for a while, and that’s completely normal.
- While you should show empathy, showing extreme pity for them can make them feel worse.
- Don’t take impulsive actions that could make matters worse. After all, you don’t understand your friend’s problems as well as they do. Ask your friend before doing anything to help them fix the situation. Pay attention to how they feel about it (unless they’re in danger or being abused, in which case you must talk to someone right away).
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Listen a lot, but sometimes you also need to talk. You should be a good listener, but talking can also help with a friend who is having a hard time. Looking them in the eye with sympathy is also part of listening. [2] X Research Source
- Tell them positive stories about the experiences and results of others and yourself if you think it will make things better. However, you also need to pause and remember to listen. Sometimes people just need to be open and vent.
- Don’t forget that your friend has suffered enough already. Keep a positive, positive, and positive attitude as much as possible. That’s why they come to you first: For help. Let them chat for a while. Maybe they just need to say it all. Even just a nod of sympathy and understanding or a comment like, “I’ll help you through. You are a strong person” will also have a huge impact.
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Understand that different problems require different methods. For example, the response to someone who is grieving the death of a loved one will be radically different from the response to someone experiencing financial hardship. So take the time to learn about their specific condition.
- If they are struggling with money problems, you can help them plan a budget, offer to look at their expenses with an objective eye, and refer them to a financial advisor. Be careful with lending money to relatives or friends. That can destroy your relationship. [3] X Research Sources
- If they are grieving someone’s death or any other loss, understand that experts believe that the grieving process will have many different stages, including denial, anger, negotiation. , depression and finally acceptance. [4] X Research Sources
- Help your friend connect with trusted external sources of support, where they can get more help from an expert or someone experienced in their problem area. [5] X Research Sources
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Make physical contact with that friend through a comforting hug. Or gently touch their shoulder. Showing empathy through physical contact will definitely make them more comfortable, or at least feel cared for.
- Sometimes, all that person needs is a hug. No need to say anything – just open your arms and they will hug you. You should hug them for as long as possible because this will show them that you are always there for them. Let’s make them laugh.
- You can sing, dance or tell jokes. Once they start laughing, it’s easy for them to get over it and think about what they should do.
Say the right things
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Focus on them instead of yourself. While you can share your own experiences if you think they will be empathetic or helpful to the friend, you should focus on your friend rather than on yourself. So don’t be tempted to make them laugh with stories about how you overcame an even worse difficulty.
- Don’t try to be better than them by bringing up your own problems. Perhaps at night you are being followed by a sunglasses-wearing assassin disguised as a clown. But now is the time to focus on that friend’s problem like their spouse or profession or whatever they’re going through.
- However, it’s not like you can’t find common ground by telling them about a personal experience that was similar to theirs that you overcame. But don’t imply that you know exactly how they feel because every situation is unique, and keep your stories to the bare minimum possible.
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Beware of clichés that sound boring and aren’t really helpful. We’ve all heard statements like, “I understand how you’re feeling” (even if you don’t really understand) or “it could have been worse” when they’re feeling hopeless. same grief. Instead, say something from the bottom of your heart in a way that is specific to their situation.
- Friendship is about knowing how to use honesty effectively. When a friend is in trouble, you must assess the situation and handle it through your own personal perspective. Put yourself in that friend’s shoes, and feel the emotions they’re going through.
- Tell them you’re sorry, and let them express all their feelings. Avoid giving clichéd advice, because they may think you don’t really care and become more upset. Be realistic. Don’t say “everything is fine” if it’s not. Instead, you can motivate them.
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Always keep a positive attitude, and prevent negative thinking. Reprimand your friend by saying something like “I told you to do this sooner” or “How many times have I told you about that?” It will only hurt them more. By the time the conversation is over, you’ll regret what you said.
- If the person is repeating a negative situation over and over, you can subtly offer positive suggestions about how they can change instead of expressing your thoughts in negative words. pole. Don’t criticize them. This is extremely important. It won’t help at all and now is absolutely not the right time.
- Don’t talk to them about what they did wrong until they come out of the crisis. They need to be comforted when things get really hard, instead of being made to feel worse. Don’t tell them harsh words like “I told you so” or “This is your fault”.
- Imagine this. You are “Hoa’s” best friend, and her parents just got divorced. You should be there to comfort her, listen to her problems, or make her happier. However… Maybe she also wanted some alone time. Show your interest with movies, little things that make her laugh. Be a good friend and help her through her difficulties just as you would expect her to do for you.
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Suggest solutions so they can improve the situation. Suggest to your friend some things they can do to get through the tough times and give them some encouragement. Help them see the positive still in their lives. Remind the friend that they don’t deserve what happened to them.
- If possible, try to do something that really changes the difficulty your friend is facing. If you can’t do anything, try and do something helpful for your friend. For example, perhaps they are too depressed to prepare dinner. Bring them some food. Offer to take care of the children for them – things like that.
- While you should offer constructive solutions, ultimately they need to make their own decisions about what to do. Let them draw their own conclusions and come to their own decisions. Showing sincere support will be of utmost importance during this time. Talk based on facts, never advise them if you are not sure. [6] X Research Sources
- While you can offer some solutions, advice or suggestions from time to time, your main goal should still be to listen. You can also do all three if you’re particularly close to that person.
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Accept that the friend may not listen. A good friend will both offer guidance and advice, while understanding that your friend may not be ready to accept help, even if they are very close to you. After all, people need to deal with everything – bad relationships, financial worries, someone’s death, etc. – on their own.
- Understand and accept that your actions will not always produce the expected results. As a supportive person, you shouldn’t feel frustrated or discouraged by this.
- Help them identify the cause of the problem as well as possible remedial measures. Use your experience, your instincts, and the advice of others. You could say, “This is your life and you should do what you think is right. But do you think if___ would be _____? Maybe you could ___? However, it all depends on what is right for you.” you” instead of saying “That’s a terrible idea, you should ___”.
Take other actions
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Report Violence [7] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to the source or to any issues that may affect the friend’s safety. Not all difficulties are created equal. If the difficulty your friend is going through threatens his/her safety – for example, a physically abusive relationship or risks of self-harm [8] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to the source – you need to act.
- Encourage your friend to tell someone in authority such as a law enforcement officer, therapist, religious leader, or parent. If the friend refuses, and abuse is happening, talk to someone in authority yourself.
- If your friend is underage, you need to talk to their parents if they are being abused, including being bullied. Bullying [9] X Trusted Source StopBullying.gov Going to the source is a form of emotional abuse, and you should not deal with such problems on your own. Don’t confront your abuser, because that could put you in danger too. Talk to an adult.
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Let them be sad for a while, but not forever. Don’t force them to be happy or angry if they can’t get rid of their sadness. They are hurt. Sometimes, they just need to wallow in it for a while. But if the condition persists for too long, you should try other ways.
- At some point you may need to take some tough action or become a facilitator. So when is that? It’s when a long time has passed, and their sadness, pain, or distress begins to have a negative effect on other areas of their life, like work or school.
- It’s completely normal to have a low mood in the beginning, but it will gradually subside, although how long it takes will depend on each person. At some point, you should direct them to the solutions being considered.
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Understand when this is beyond your reach. If at some point you need some space because they’re not getting better and all the talk is drenched in depression day in and day out, you may need to come up with a tougher intervention. .
- Learn about the signs of clinical depression [10] X Research Sources , and if your friend has such symptoms, suggest that they seek professional help, such as a therapist. material or doctor.
- Remind them that you are not trained to be their therapist. And you can’t carry their problems forever. At some point, a little bit of toughness in the form of a constructive solution or an honest opinion on what you observe may be more helpful to them.
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Distract them by doing something fun. Try to find a way to help them temporarily forget about their problem. You can ask them to go to the movies with you. It will make them step out of the house and forget about their problems for at least a couple of hours.
- Pastimes can help a person gain perspective. However, strike a balance between immersion and distraction. You should understand that they will probably want to settle into the living room in their pajamas, at least initially.
- Buy them a few “consolations” like ice cream or chocolate or something they love. Bring that friend’s house and keep them company. Remind them of their accomplishments. Share positive quotes. [11] X Research Source
- To a certain extent, continuing with life as usual at a given time can help people heal. So don’t change your routine too much.
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If they’re not in danger, keep their problem a secret so it doesn’t make things worse. When a friend confides in you about their difficulties, they are showing their trust in you. You will not be a good friend if you violate that trust by revealing it to others.
- The exception – and this is very important – are matters involving abuse, bullying, or any other situation that puts your friend in danger, even mentally. In those cases, you need to talk to someone in authority – a parent, the police, or a doctor, for example.
- For other cases, don’t gossip. Don’t hint about their problem on social media or tell other friends, even if it’s for the sake of trying to get them more support.
Advice
- Give the person their own space when they want.
- Don’t let them drink alcohol. It will only make their feelings and worries worse.
- Don’t push them to detail. They probably don’t want to tell you everything, so don’t ask if they don’t volunteer.
- You need to give your friend space and not show up so much that it annoys him/her.
- Don’t promise to be with them if you can’t or won’t.
- No matter what your friend confides in you, show empathy and praise them for enduring. This alone is enough to make a person feel supported, understood and feel better in general.
Warning
- If a friend tells you about a problem, keep it a secret unless it is a matter of suicide, abuse, rape or anything else that could cause him/her to suffer. hurt.
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This article was co-written by Laura Horne, MPH. Laura is the program executive director for Active Minds, a leading American nonprofit that supports students with mental health education and awareness. Prior to Active Minds, Laura ran a public health initiative at the County and City Health Workers Association and at Tulane University. She earned a master’s degree in public health from Tulane University. She is certified by the National Commission for the Accreditation of Health Education as a health education specialist.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 32,903 times.
Is your friend going through a tough time? True friendship manifests itself when people find ways to help each other. Sometimes people feel quite embarrassed when a friend of theirs is in bad luck because they don’t know what to say. Do not worry about that. Your presence alone is enough. There are many ways you can help a struggling friend feel better.
Thank you for reading this post How to Help and Support a Friend Through Difficulty at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.
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