How to Help a Negative Friend

Don’t criticize your friend. Criticizing negative behavior will only make him feel worse and may turn to you. Criticism is hard to accept for everyone, especially those who have negative thoughts and feelings swirling around in their heads. ^[1] Trying to make him clear about his behavior only increases the tension and makes him feel attacked. Give them the best supportive environment you can.

Take responsibility for your own happiness. If you let your happiness depend on a negative person, there is nothing worse. Keep a certain distance between your feelings and your friend’s negativity. Avoid feeling that by solving your friend’s problems, you will be happy and gradually sink into their world. ^[2]

Show your own positivity. One of the most effective ways to help a negative person as well as yourself is to maintain your positivity in the face of negativity. This will keep you happy and help them see a different way of looking at life and behaving.

• Pause. Humans have the ability to “capture” emotions; In other words, the mood around you also somewhat affects you. ^[3] Even if you are a very life-loving person, if you stay around negativity for too long it will be difficult for you to maintain your positive outlook. Take a break from seeing that negative friend from time to time.
• Another way to maintain your positivity is to stay aware of your personal feelings. When you start to get overwhelmed by negative emotions, check in and remind yourself that that’s not what you want. For example, “I’m starting to get frustrated with the quality of the restaurant’s service because my friends complain every five minutes about it. I don’t have a problem. This frustration isn’t a problem. mine.” You will maintain your own positivity if you focus on that thought. ^[4]
• Use a sense of humour. We tend to focus on the negative side of a situation, so re-evaluating a negative experience with a sense of humor can help you counter your brain’s natural urges. ^[5] Next time he starts complaining, humorously change the subject: “Your car suddenly breaks down and you have to jog to make it in time for the bus? Unlucky eh? But I heard you say you’re getting fat lately. Think of you as exercising!”
• Remind yourself when his negativity turns irrational. You can easily maintain your positivity if you don’t get caught up in irrational negativity. For example, if your friend complains that you ruined your evening by choosing to watch a 2D movie over 3D, don’t believe it. You have the right to watch movies and fully enjoy the evening. Stay away from his “trap” of irrational thinking. ^[6]

Don’t agree with your friend’s negativity. Being negative together is really fascinating. Studies show that people prefer to participate in an uninteresting activity with their friends than to perform an enjoyable action on their own. ^[7] However, advocating negativity only makes it worse. He’ll think it’s reasonable and you’re pushing your friend deeper into the mud of negativity.

Be empathetic. Science proves that compassion is the key to success in dealing with people. ^[8] Many good physical and mental health benefits are associated with compassion, such as being able to overcome stress and become better. more socially integrated. Social connections have their own benefits, one of which is strengthening your immune system. Kindness also helps those around. When you are kind to people, you arouse compassion within them. When you give without thinking, you will be a shining example for others to follow. Basically, compassion is the great thing that keeps you and those around you sane.

• For example, you are trying to help a friend. If his car breaks down, give him a ride or push him to a nearby auto repair shop. If he suffers from resentment from family members, be a place for him to share his feelings. Small actions will make a big impact in the lives of both of you.

Protect yourself. Obviously, “taking a break” with a friend is uncomfortable, but sometimes it’s the best option. You are a good person when you want to get rid of negativity and genuinely accept a friend despite the fact that he always has a dark cloud above his head. However, you are not a bad person if you realize the cloud is too big and need to say goodbye. In this case, don’t feel guilty, you’re just taking care of yourself by avoiding the negative wormhole. ^[9]

• Sometimes a friend’s negativity can trigger difficult or traumatic times in your past. For example, if you have a history of addiction and your friend keeps complaining about her family wanting her to give up drugs, this will rekindle the pain you’ve been through. If this friend continues to “hit you” or poke fun at your pain, don’t keep the relationship.

Consider seeing a psychologist. This can be especially helpful if you really don’t want to give up on your friend but are having a hard time dealing with his negativity. A psychologist will show you effective coping methods, ways to wrap your mind in a healthier and more positive life.

• If the person’s negativity becomes severe, such as talking about suicidal thoughts or self-harm, you should immediately talk to trusted people (parents, teachers or friends). competent persons). The problem is now beyond your control.