How to Heal a Broken Relationship

You must know that it takes a long time to rebuild trust that has been broken after being cheated on. Once your partner has lost trust it may take a few years for them to rebuild the lost trust. It’s normal for them to feel jealous and suspicious when you’re out of the house, meeting coworkers, or texting strangers. Be prepared to try, which can take months, to rebuild trust after an affair.

• Determined to mend the relationship no matter how difficult, day by day you will eventually regain the trust you lost before.

Take responsibility for your mistakes. Avoid making excuses, blaming the other person, or dismissing the feeling as if it were an overnight thing. To get forgiveness and continue this affection you need to take responsibility for your infidelity. Take an objective and rigorous look at yourself to see what caused you to cheat to avoid making the same mistake. ^[7]

Forgive and be forgiven. This can be the hardest thing to do after an affair happens for both parties. While asking for forgiveness is the only way to begin the healing process, you can’t do it if the person still feels resentment. Even if you don’t receive immediate forgiveness, you still have to be humble and express your wishes whenever possible.

• You may fail a few times, but you need to be honest and sincerely apologize for your betrayal.

Become transparent. If you have cheated on your spouse, the fastest way to regain trust is to be completely transparent. Give them access to your timetable, agenda, and contact lists. Avoid hiding anything even small things or they will feel suspicious.

Keep promise. Again you need to show that you are trustworthy. Call if you say you will, get home on time and do the chores or chores you promised on a regular basis. ^[8]

• Never promise something you can’t keep.
• If you need to change plans, give the person a few days’ notice to give them enough time to readjust their schedule.

Talk to your partner about their needs. Listen to what they need you to do to mend their relationship. Stay together more or give each other more space. Your partner may want you to come home earlier and stop drinking. Whatever the problem, ask them “what can I do to fix it” and listen to the answer without judgment.

• However, this is not a request to be abused. Be sincere, helpful, and loving, but don’t let them “unjustly” abuse you or get revenge.

Make time for each other. This is obvious, but together, only love can survive. Find something you’re both excited about and committed to doing, from cooking to going for a Sunday walk. A good relationship requires effort, so don’t ignore your partner and expect the relationship to go well.

• If you can’t be together, write to each other or schedule an online or phone chat.

Communicate openly and honestly. Sincere communication helps solve problems before they become serious. When something upsets you, say it instead of keeping it to yourself. Suppressing or developing hidden anger will make things more difficult to deal with later.

• Jealousy, misunderstanding, and ego can lead to the end of a relationship, so express your concerns instead of hiding them.

See each other as a team. Your partner is your other half, and you need to keep this in mind when things get tough. One of the great things about love is that when you’re in love, you don’t have to go through everything alone – you have a teammate and friend to help you through stressful situations and emotions.

• Do the project together.
• Discuss problems around work or home and brainstorm solutions together.
• Call your spouse when you need to talk to someone. They will always listen when you need them.

Invest time in self-development. Get up early, eat healthy, exercise and take care of yourself. Not only will this make you more excited, but it will also make it easier to focus on loving your partner. You need to be physically and mentally stable to love your partner, as well as yourself.

Accept their mistakes. No one is perfect, we often judge our loved ones harsher than anyone else. That person has made a mistake and hurt you, it is too difficult to forgive right away. However the only way to stay with love is to know that no one is perfect and accept that, learn to let go of their mistakes. Accept those vices of your partner instead of trying to change them.

• You have to be willing to forgive in order to receive the same in return. Don’t forget that you’re not perfect either.

Travel together. Escape the hustle and bustle of life by spending a week or weekend together trying to find a way to bond. Changing your environment is a great way to change your state of mind. After leaving your bills, work, and daily life behind you, you can focus on what matters most: your other half.

• If you can’t go away on vacation, find a way to enjoy it at home. Go out to dinner and movies, book a hotel room in the city, or lounge around in pajamas on a murky Sunday.

Ending relationships often leads to hurt or anger. Even if it’s fine for both of you when it’s okay, a person who constantly hurts you by yelling, cheating, or disappearing will never change. If quarrels and upsets occur on a regular basis, you are stuck in a bad relationship and need to get out of it. ^[9]

• Don’t let a little happiness sway your decision. No matter how good they are to you at other times, your partner should never have hurt or hurt your heart.

Know that relationship problems are never the fault of an individual. Love is a matter of two people so don’t let the other person blame all the problems on you. Someone who pushes all the responsibility and refuses to think about his role will never be on your side. Never let someone force you to change to save a relationship – that’s a sign of a controlling and unhealthy relationship.

• You should be comfortable being yourself in front of your partner. ^[10]

Notice if you argue and resolve issues in a healthy way or for weeks. A good relationship is when they share their views and argue, then resolve quickly without violence or shouting. If you guys keep arguing day in and day out or have the same thing that you argue over and over, it’s time to find someone new. ^[11]

• The same is true if the two of you argue about one thing after another every day. If you find yourself arguing about anything, step back and ask yourself why.

Realize when your plans and your partner’s no longer match. Couples who once got along perfectly can still come to conflict when goals and desires in life suddenly conflict. For example, if one person wants to continue their studies while the other wants to travel the world, one person will feel that they are not valued or that the other’s decision is a waste of time for them and vice versa. If you often argue or have to go along with your partner while you have other dreams, it may be time to pursue your own goals. ^[12]

• Talk about marriage or having children – if you and your partner disagree, this is an urgent signal of a relationship with many problems in the future.