How To Have Sex For The First Time Without Pain

Experiencing “sex” for the first time can be intimidating for many girlfriends, and the anecdotes people often whisper about the subject don’t help either. Some girls may experience pain the first time they have penetrative sex, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer. Talking to your partner and learning about sex will help you relax before falling in love. By preparing a good mental state and using the right tools, you will have a “first time” that is not only comfortable but also full of excitement.

Table of Contents

Build a positive attitude

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Make sure you’re ready to have sex . It’s normal to feel nervous about the first time. If you’re feeling stressed or if you’re just in the flirting stage, you probably shouldn’t have taken this step yet. You will be less likely to enjoy pleasure and become stressed if you have sex when it doesn’t feel like the “right time”.

Many people are taught that sex is shameful, only for marriage, and only between a man and a woman. ^{[1] X Research Source} If you feel guilty or stressed at the thought of having sex, perhaps you should stop doing this. Try talking to someone about how you feel.
Feelings of anxiety or low self-esteem about your body is normal, but if you’re scared or don’t dare to go nude because of low self-esteem, it could be a sign that you’re not ready.
Don’t be ashamed of your sexual orientation. You are the only one who has the right to decide who and what type of sex you want.

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Talk to him. Talking to your partner can build trust and make you feel more sexually positive. A good partner will care about how you feel and be willing to help you through this experience. If that person puts a lot of pressure on you or makes you feel uncomfortable, think again.

Talk about contraception and safe sex before sex. You might say, “I’m on birth control pills, but I’m still using a condom, right?”
Tell your partner about your worries, expectations, and feelings. You might say, “I was so scared the first time it hurt.”
Tell your partner if there’s something you want to try or absolutely don’t want. For example, you could say, “I don’t mind oral sex, but I really don’t want anal sex.”
If you feel nervous or worried, let him know. If the person doesn’t care about how you feel, it’s possible that they don’t take the things you’re worried about seriously.

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Find a trusted adult you can easily talk to. It may be embarrassing to talk to an adult about sex, but you should at least identify one person you can turn to when you need help. That person could be your parent, doctor, nurse, school counselor, or sibling. They can give you advice, answer your questions and help you access protection methods. Even without talking to them first, you may need someone to contact in case of an emergency.

If you are forced to have sex, talk to a trusted adult for help. Don’t forget that you never have to have sex against your will. No one has the right to force you to do anything you don’t like.

Tim understands his body

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Learn about sex. When you get to know your body better, you’ll feel more confident, especially if he hasn’t experienced it either. You’ll be less anxious if you know what to do, what’s normal, and what can happen. You can refer to resources such as: Planned Parenthood, Sex, Etc. and Scarleten.

Masturbation is also a way that can help you figure out what you like when you have sex. Before having sex with your partner, test it out on your own.

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Learn about hymen. Contrary to popular belief, the hymen is not the membrane that covers the vaginal opening. Instead of being the “sign of purity” as many people think, the hymen is just the muscle and skin around the vaginal opening, similar to the muscle and skin around the anus. It doesn’t “tear” but can be damaged by anything from tampon use, leg splits, sex or being inserted by large objects, and that often causes pain without Most girls go through it.

Damaged or torn hymen will often bleed. You may notice this during or after intercourse. The amount of bleeding when the hymen is torn will not be as much as the amount of blood during menstruation.
A torn hymen will not cause you too much pain. Pain during love is usually caused by rubbing. This can happen when you are not lubricated or not stimulated enough.

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Determine the vaginal angle. If it’s easy for your partner to get the penis into the right angle, the two of you may not have to fumble in pain. In most cases, the vagina is tilted anteriorly to the abdomen. When you stand, your vagina will be tilted 45 degrees to the floor. ^{[2] X Research Source}

If you usually use tampons, be aware of how the tampon is placed and try to create the same angle when you initiate penetrative sex.
If you don’t use a tampon, you can try inserting your finger into the probe in the shower. Towards the lower back; If you feel uncomfortable, move forward a bit until you find a comfortable spot.

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Determine the position of the clitoris. Women rarely reach orgasm through intercourse alone. On the contrary, clitoris stimulation will often bring them to “climax”. Oral sex or clitoral stimulation before intercourse can help relax the muscles.

You should try to locate the clitoris before having sex. You can do this by masturbating or using a flashlight and looking in the mirror. This step will help you guide your partner during sex, especially if it’s also his first time.
You may feel less pain if orgasm occurs before the penis enters. The two of you should try oral sex during foreplay and before inserting the penis into the vagina. He may also use his fingers or sex toys to stimulate your clitoris.

Enjoy the pleasure of having sex

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Choose a safe and comfortable place. If you are constantly afraid of being caught, you will not be interested anymore. Make yourself and your partner comfortable by choosing a time and place where the two of you will not be disturbed.

Find a private place, a comfortable bed, and some time where you don’t have to worry about what to do.
Think if your room or his room is more convenient.
If you’re staying in a dorm or sharing a room with other people, you can ask your roommate to give you some space that night.

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Create a comfortable mood. Relax by creating a soothing atmosphere. Clear out any distracting clutter, turn off your phone, and get rid of anything that might cause anxiety or distract you from your partner.

Dim lighting, soothing music, and a warm room can create a sense of security and comfort.
Take some time to groom yourself first to feel relaxed and confident.

READ More: How to Dispose of Old Laptop

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Find consensus. You and your partner must really agree on this. If you don’t know how your partner feels, ask him before you move on. It is not certain that the person is satisfied even if he does not directly say he does not agree. ^{[3] X Research Source} Your partner must be really confident when answering “I want to”.

Don’t force it if your partner doesn’t want to have sex. If you don’t want to, the person must also stop when you say “no”.
Consent also means that you shouldn’t do anything your partner doesn’t like.

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Use condom. Condoms prevent pregnancy and prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If you are afraid of getting pregnant or spreading the disease, you will have more peace of mind when taking protective measures. Other forms of birth control are not effective at preventing STIs, so a “raincoat” can provide an extra layer of protection. If your partner refuses to use a condom, consider having sex with him or her again.

There are condoms for men and women.
The key to using a condom is a good fit. Couples should buy several types of “raincoats” and try on which one fits best. If your partner is allergic to latex, a nitrile condom is a good alternative.
Condoms should be worn before, during and after intercourse to increase protection against STIs and prevent pregnancy.

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Apply lubricant. Lubricants will provide significant pain relief by reducing friction. This product also helps prevent the condom from tearing during sex. Lubricant is applied to a condom that covers the penis or sex toy before it is inserted into the vagina.

If using latex condoms, do not use oil-based lubricants. Oil-based lubricants will weaken the latex, leading to tearing or rupture of the condom. Instead, you should use a silicone or water-based lubricant. With a nitrile or ppyurethane condom, you can use any lubricant.

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Be leisurely. You should try to enjoy instead of rushing to the finish line. Take the time to discover what you both enjoy. Start with a kiss, progress to more passionate cuddling, and remember to keep at a pace that’s most comfortable for both of you.

Foreplay can help you relax and feel more aroused. This step can also make the natural lubricant secrete more and make it easier for the penis to enter without causing pain.
Remember that you can stop having sex at any time. Consensus must be proactive and ongoing. You have the right to ask him to stop or withdraw consent at any time you want.

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Express what you want. Don’t be afraid to ask him to do what you want. If you like something, let him know. If something is causing you pain or discomfort, you need to say it. Your partner must be willing to give you pleasure instead of pain.

If you feel pain, try slowing down, moving more gently, or using more lubricant. For example, you could say, “Can I slow down a bit? I feel pain.”
You can ask your partner to try changing positions if it feels uncomfortable. For example, you will control the tempo and angle of the penis if you lie on top of him.

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Care after love. If there is pain or bleeding, you need to treat it before it gets worse. Take an over-the-counter pain reliever, wipe off the blood, and use a thin tampon for a few hours. If you have severe pain, you need to tell an adult you trust or see a doctor.

Advice

If you experience severe pain or bleeding, see your doctor as soon as possible.
If you feel like it’s not “time”, don’t be afraid to wait a little longer. A caring partner will value your feelings above anything else. Don’t hesitate to decline if you change your mind!
Maybe you feel the urge to pee in the middle of an affair. This is normal. Urinating before sex will help alleviate this feeling. If this condition persists even when the bladder is empty, you may be one of the women who have the ability to “ejaculate”.
Always urinate after sex to prevent bladder infections.
Make an appointment with your clinic or gynecologist before you regularly have sex. They will teach you about birth control methods, teach you about sexually transmitted diseases, and may even provide you with condoms.
Always use a water-based lubricant, not Vaseline cream, oil or any grease. Oil-based lubricants can damage latex condoms, causing irritation, pain, vaginal or yeast infections.
No one has a perfect first-time experience, so don’t expect too much. It’s okay if your first time doesn’t look like a romantic comedy scene.
Use condoms even if you are already using other birth control methods. Hormonal methods of contraception (such as the oral contraceptive pill) only prevent pregnancy and do not protect against sexually transmitted diseases. You can get infected the first time.
If you’re feeling nervous, foreplay is a great way to feel more comfortable with other people touching you, even if you don’t want to have sex yet. It can make you feel more secure and confident in what you’re doing.

Warning

Don’t give in when forced by your partner. You are the one who has the right to decide, not anyone else.
Do not drink alcohol or use any stimulant drugs for fear of pain. Those things can make things much worse.
If your partner has had many other sexual partners, you should ask him to get tested for STIs. These diseases are transmitted through vaginal, anal, and oral sex. People can carry the disease without showing any symptoms. You can reduce your risk of getting sick by using condoms, diaphragms, and other methods of shielding.
When oral contraceptives are taken with other medicines such as antibiotics, sometimes the effectiveness of birth control pills can change. You should consult your doctor before taking any medication to make sure there are no drug interactions.
You can get pregnant the first time you have sex. Condoms are highly effective when used correctly, but if possible, you should use another method of contraception in addition to condoms.

Things you need

Silicone or water-based lubricant (recommended)
Male or female condoms and another method of contraception (highly recommended)
Consensus

Steps