How to Have a Great Conversation

Chatting can be quite difficult. Sometimes you feel shy, or it might be because you don’t have much in common with the person you’re talking to. Becoming a good conversationalist isn’t as hard as you might imagine, but it does require practice. Whether it’s at a party, at school, or on the phone, good conversation begins when two or more people feel comfortable talking to each other. There are many steps you can take to learn how to relax and have a great conversation with anyone.

Table of Contents

Start a Conversation

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Choose the right time. The right timing is key to a great conversation. No one likes to be disturbed when they are busy or unfocused. When you’re trying to start a story, remember that timing is key. For example, if you need to talk to your boss, schedule a conversation ahead of time. This will help ensure that you both have time to focus on a productive conversation. ^{[1] X Research Source}

The right timing is also important for an impromptu dialogue. Maybe you’re looking for a way to meet your new neighbor who has moved into your neighborhood. You probably don’t want to start a conversation if they’re walking into the building “wet like a mouse” from the rain, looking exhausted, and carrying a take-out bag. . At this point, you should just use a simple greeting such as “Hi, how are you?”. You can get to know the person on another occasion.
If someone makes eye contact with you, this may be the right time to strike up a conversation. For example, if you’re browsing a book in a bookstore and the person standing next to you is constantly rolling their eyes in your direction to find out which book you’re choosing, try to strike up a conversation with her. You might say, “This book looks good. Do you like biographies?”.
If you want to talk to your husband about adopting a new dog, make sure you talk about it at the right time. If you know that he’s not a very active person during the day, you shouldn’t discuss this topic before he drinks his coffee or before he wakes up.

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Comment on your surroundings. Conversing on the spur of the moment is a great way to improve your skills to become a good conversationalist. Take time each day to strike up a conversation with someone you meet in your daily life. For example, you can strike up a conversation with the person in line behind you in a coffee shop. Make a comment or ask a question about your surroundings. This method is quite natural and a great way to have a conversation. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Say “I like the coffee in this shop. What flavor do you like best?”. This action shows that you want to talk to the person and that you are starting the conversation very naturally.
Use positive statements. Making happy comments is often more effective than talking about negative ones. You can use statements such as “Isn’t it nice today? I like it so cold that I can wear a sweater”.

Join the Chat Actively

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Ask the right questions. It takes at least two people to form a great conversation. Make sure you fulfill your obligations and actively participate in the discussion. One of the best ways to do this is to ask questions that allow the discussion to develop naturally. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Ask open-ended questions. Instead of asking, “Isn’t the weather beautiful today?”. Ask, “What do you plan to do to enjoy a beautiful day like this?”. The first example sentence only requires a yes or no answer, and this can lead your conversation to a ‘dead end’. Ask questions that prompt the listener to answer more than one word.
Ask questions that clarify what the other person is saying. If you’re talking about rules with your teen, ask, “I’ve heard that you’re unhappy because you feel like you don’t have enough freedom to do what you want. What should we do to find a solution that works for both?”.

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Practice becoming an active listener. Being an active listener means that you regularly respond to the person you’re communicating with to demonstrate that you’re paying attention. You can let others know that you are actively listening through both physical and verbal cues. Good listeners make the other person feel valued and respected, and these are very important factors when you want to develop an effective conversation. ^{[6] X Research Source}

You can let others know that you’re listening by using positive body language. Make sure you look the other person in the eye during the conversation. Also, nod or shake your head at the appropriate times.
You can provide verbal cues to let others know that you’re engaged in the conversation. This signal can be as simple as saying “That’s interesting!” or bigger, like “I didn’t know it would be. Can you tell me more about how you feel about running a marathon?”.
Another way to show the other person that you are actively listening is to restate a few points in the story. Let’s rephrase the story. For example, you could say, “It’s great that you’re able to discover new volunteer opportunities. It sounds like you’re so excited about the opportunity to do something new.”
Remember that active listening means taking stock and thinking about what the other person is saying. Instead of trying to form an answer, focus on listening to what the other person has to say and absorbing the information.

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Be truth. When talking, demonstrate that your interest in the other person is completely sincere. For example, maybe you want to get to know your boss better. She will probably be quite busy with her duties and not have much free time for you to chat with her. Instead of chatting, try to form a real connection. If you’re working on a project with her, take her advice on how to deal with clients. Be sincere and show her that you value her opinion. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

If your neighbor hangs a flag of a certain university in front of his house, and you are curious to know why. You can say, “I noticed you have the Hoa Sen University flag in front of your house. Are you a fan of the school’s football team?”. This is a natural, sincere way to start a conversation. You can move on to other topics once you get to know the person.

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Find similarities. A great conversation requires you to think about the other person’s preferences. If you can find something similar in conversation, this can be a great “getting to know topic”. You may have to ask a lot of questions to find common ground, but your efforts will be well rewarded. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Maybe you’re trying to get close to your new sister-in-law, but the two are quite different. Try talking about the TV show you watched or the book you read. You’ll probably discover that you both have similar interests. If this doesn’t work, talk about a topic that people usually enjoy. For example, most people like good food. Ask her what her favorite food is and start there.

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News update. Try to stay up to date with current events in the world. This will help you to be prepared if someone discusses current events with you. Take a few minutes each morning to look through the day’s breaking news. Understanding will allow you to participate more actively in conversations. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Another technique is to refer to current events in contemporary culture. Discussing new books, movies, and new music releases is a great way to have a good conversation with friends, colleagues, or even people you meet on the go. go to work in the morning.

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Adjust body language. Physical behavior is an important component of face-to-face conversations. Eye contact is extremely important. Looking someone in the eye shows that you are engaged in the conversation and paying attention. ^{[10] X Trusted Source Michigan State University Extension Go to Source}

Remember that eye contact doesn’t mean you have to stare someone in the eye. Instead, maintain eye contact 50% of the time when you are the speaker and 70% of the time when you are the listener.
You can use other nonverbal cues when engaging in conversation. Nod your head to show understanding, or smile when a positive response is required.

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Avoid over-sharing. Excessive sharing means that you are talking about something that may embarrass yourself or, worse, embarrass your listeners. This can make the situation awkward. Sometimes people say something that they regret almost immediately. Sharing too much information can make you and the person you’re talking to feel awkward. To avoid over-sharing, try to be aware of the situations that often trigger this. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Oversharing often happens when you’re nervous or eager to make a good impression. For example, if you’re facing an important interview, take a few deep, calm breaths before entering the room. Also, take a moment to think about what you plan to say before expressing these thoughts verbally.
Evaluate your relationship with your partner. Before sharing information, ask yourself, “Is this person the right person to discuss this with?” For example, you probably wouldn’t want to discuss hemorrhoids with the person in line behind you in the coffee shop. They don’t need to know this information, and they will feel uncomfortable hearing about it.

Benefits of Great Conversation

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Strengthen personal relationships. Communication is one of the great ways to strengthen your bond with someone. Talking is one of the most effective forms of communication, so connecting through words can help strengthen your personal bonds. Try conducting in-depth conversations with people you really care about. ^{[12] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

One way you can do this is to have a real conversation over dinner. For example, if you live with your partner, avoid watching TV while eating. Instead, try to build an interesting conversation a few times per week.
Ask fun questions such as “If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would do?”. This type of question will help you connect and get to know your partner in a better way.

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Improve your working relationship. Creating interesting conversations is a great way to improve your work life. Not only will it help you advance at work, but it will also make your daily routine more enjoyable. Try to talk to coworkers about topics other than work. This will help you connect with each other on a personal level. Then, when you have to work on a project together, you will be able to communicate more effectively. ^{[13] X Research Source}

You’ve probably noticed that the coworker sitting across from you has quite a few pictures of her cat on her desk. Ask questions about her cat as a way to learn more about her. This will direct you to deeper conversations in the future.

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Feel happier. Scientific research has shown that people who enjoy their conversations are generally happier people. Although this result focused mainly on in-depth conversation, casual chatting also helps increase your endorphin levels. Basically, making an effort in the day’s conversations will generally help you feel better about life. ^{[14] X Research Source}

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Smile when you’re talking to someone to boost your mood. Smile more when you’re talking to someone. Smiling makes you feel better by releasing endorphins, so it’s a simple way to improve the quality of conversations and make them even better. ^{[15] X Research Source}

Remind yourself to smile before, during, and after a conversation to reap the benefits of a smile.

Advice

Praise others. For example, a statement like “I like your bag” can lead you to a conversation about a store, a bag, or just about anything else you can imagine.
Only start a conversation at a time that works for both of you. Your partner won’t want to talk if they’re in a hurry and they might get annoyed with you.
Provide appropriate answers to the questions.
If you know the person, think about a list of topics you’ve discussed before and continue discussing one of them. For example, a cousin’s important event, one of their projects, or an issue they shared with you.

Steps

Start a Conversation

Join the Chat Actively

Benefits of Great Conversation

Advice

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