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When someone you love hurts, it must be very difficult to overcome. Perhaps the best thing that can be done is to turn love into hate, but that actually only makes things more difficult because hate is not the opposite of love – both are intense emotions and drain energy. If you want to get over the pain of losing a loved one soon (whether it’s a breakup, a fight, a death, or something else), the best thing you can do is face your feelings and move on.
Steps
Get rid of reminders
- You may have memorized their phone number or email address, but removing them from your phone, computer, tablet, address book, etc. can make communication a little more difficult. .
- For example, if you delete your ex’s contacts from your phone, you’ll be less tempted to tap their name and text or call – at least, you’ll have to think before you do.
- This step is especially useful when you are trying your best to erase them from your mind, because every time they call/text you will remember them and be tempted to reply back.
- You’ll probably be tempted to follow what they’re up to on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or another social network. Avoid checking their site as that will only make it harder for you to get past them and move on with your life.
- Over time, you can safely look back on the relationship or at least the time it once was.
- If you’re afraid you’ll regret it if you miss out, consider putting them in a box or USB stick, and then sending them to a friend or safe until you’re well enough to look at them again.
- At some point you may want to donate or even burn these things, but for now, let’s put them away so as not to trigger the pain again.
- If you decide to burn it, be sure to find a safe area where a fire is allowed – for example, an outdoor incinerator, not the bedroom floor.
Solve emotional problems
- If we get unexpected results in an experiment, we test the experiment, see where it went wrong, and look at the results from that deviation. Then you plan your next steps. It may sound insensitive, but this can really help you approach your broken heart.
- You may feel like you have no control over your emotions right now, but with persistence, you can train your brain to respond in a controlled way – for example, they can consider things calmly, objectively instead of feeling insulted.
- Instead of denying it, try accepting your feelings and allowing them to happen. You should also take a step back and try to see your emotions from a third-person perspective, separating yourself from them. Remind yourself that these feelings are completely natural.
- You can also say to yourself, “I am grieving the loss of a relationship and these feelings are all related.” [2] X Research Source
- Experts recommend journaling every day. This helps you connect with your emotions and even figure out how to work through them.
- If your emotions are running high and you feel like you need to let go, use a notepad or note-taking app on your phone to write down what you’re feeling.
- Emotion notes are generally useful when you want to talk to someone you miss or make you sad. Instead of having to contact them, write a letter or record what you want to say. Don’t send them. This is just to help you. You’ll want to destroy the letter/recording once you’re done.
- Don’t keep replaying a past tape in your head. Don’t indulge in thinking that things could be different; everything is over and maybe the reason isn’t even for you – for example, you two just have two different paths in life.
- Instead of wondering “why me” or blaming yourself “how useless I am,” think about things you can change about your behavior and use it to grow and overcome.
- Instead of beating yourself up, take care of yourself. You can start from being proud of having grown from this experience.
- In addition to the things you don’t like about them and the relationship, think about whether the person makes you the version you hate, “When I was with you, I always canceled deals with friends and spent time with you. em. I no longer pursue my own interests, I feel like I am becoming your shadow.”
- You can also make a list of the bad things about the person; But remember to keep it in a safe place or destroy it immediately. Don’t show those things to anyone – especially your ex. This only creates more market and makes it harder to leave.
- Instead of hating and getting angry at the person, feel sorry for them. Maybe they’re dealing with something that you can’t understand on a conscious or unconscious level.
- Don’t talk to people who will take your feelings lightly, they will only make you feel worse.
- If you’re really struggling with your emotions, you might consider seeing a counselor. A good mentor will give you practical advice to get through.
- Even though it’s healthy to talk about it, you’ll need to make sure you don’t always be meticulous about your feelings, or you’ll push your loved ones away. If you’re worried about it, ask people how they’re feeling. A good friend will tell the truth without making you sad.
- Research shows that if you focus too much on yourself without taking action to clear your mind and improve your mood, you may develop chronic depression. [6] X Research Sources
- Then perhaps one day you will look back and laugh at how crazy you were, because then they are just a memory of a very different time in your life.
- There are days when you will find you can’t even get out of bed. No problem. Take a positive attitude. You can lie in bed all day reading, watching movies, listening to sad music and crying all the way through the bed. But tell yourself, “Okay, I’ll spend all day sad, but tomorrow I’ll go jogging. I know I’m strong enough to get through this.”
Learn psychological tips to overcome
- Take a step back and consider what factors contributed to the breakdown. But remember, don’t spend too much time on this process – you’re learning a lesson and growing from it, not beating yourself up for the mistakes you made.
- This way is not for you to think about where you are behind. It can be as simple as “We are two different people with different goals”.
- You can also make fun of it by spending a few hours viewing your love story as an experiment, with graphs and charts of all kinds.
- After a breakup you often feel like you wasted your youth. If you view relationships as a learning experience, then there’s nothing to waste. Things that help us grow and learn are never wasted.
- A good exercise to rebuild your self-concept is to write in a notebook, “Who am I?” or “What makes me who I am?” Then write the answers below.
- Instead of telling yourself not to think about your ex, when those thoughts pop into your mind, gently remind them that they no longer belong in your life, then turn your attention elsewhere. have more benefit. [10] X Research Source
- Whenever thoughts of that person creep into your head, push it away and tell yourself you’ll come back to them later, when you allow yourself time to think about that person.
- Until then, sit quietly and think whatever you want about them. You can divide it into 2 times a day, morning and evening, 10 minutes each time.
- Try not to think about the person when you’re about to go to sleep. If possible, read a book or do yoga before bed; The thought of that person may come up again, but you can push it away until the next timetable.
- Take the imaginary box in your hand and blow it away. Then if the thoughts come back, say to yourself, “No, these are long gone” and quickly think of something else.
- It’s important to have goals and work toward them, but you don’t have to think about them all the time. If you do, you will be so immersed in the future that you forget what needs to be done in the present to achieve those goals.
- You don’t want to look back a year from now and realize you wasted the whole year being sad, doing nothing just because you were so sad about the lost relationship.
- At the very least, you’ll have to laugh at your stupidity for staring at the count and trying to put on a fake smile.
- If this doesn’t work, try watching a stand-up comedy or something that makes you laugh, even if only for a moment.
Keep yourself healthy
- If you find yourself too lonely on Friday night and want to call them, make a Friday night outing. Do that even when you’re so sad that you don’t want to move. You should plan your outings and try to live in the present when you meet people.
- You should do things that help improve your mood, or you will drown in this condition and depression. [11] X Research Source
- Examples of interests: music, painting, sports, dancing, movies, video games, reading, eating, going to the theater or local festival, visiting museums, etc.
- When you start to feel sad and lack something, redirect your energy to new habits instead of thinking about your ex. [13] X Research Source
- Remember, this doesn’t mean you should date someone new or try to replace your ex with a new one. This is not healthy.
- A good way is to spend time alone exploring interests, feelings, etc. This will be difficult at first for the first few weeks or months. You will know you are ready when you no longer think about your ex every minute and every second.
- Eat healthy, drink plenty of water, get enough sleep and exercise, meditate – you’ll even need to buy new clothes or get a new haircut.
- Experts say that stress is a major trigger for this addictive behavior, and that stress includes exes. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, tired, or stressed, it can be hard to resist the urge to reconnect with your ex. [14] X Research Source
- Studies show that nurturing the part of you that was neglected in your relationship can help you get through it. [15] X Research Source
- Drinking, taking drugs, overeating or skipping meals, isolating yourself, acts violently, spends a lot of time online, or overdos it in any way (like playing games, shopping, watching porn, exercising) practice…etc).
- For example, if you find yourself eating out of control, overcome it by walking or jogging, or doing manual work such as painting or crafting.
- Some studies show that revenge will make you replay the story in your head, while letting go makes the situation less serious, easier to ignore. [17] X Research Source
- If you’re having a hard time realizing your self-worth, sit down and write a list of the things you like about yourself. The first day you can only write one thing, it is even difficult to think of one thing, but if you try every day, a week you will have five good things about yourself – maybe a few months after the good thing. about you will fill the page.
Next step
- If someone gets hurt, don’t let them do it forever by wallowing in the sadness that stands in the way of your life. [18] X Research Sources
- For example, if you want to go to college, challenge yourself to get the best grades possible and get into your dream university.
- If you’re not sure what you want in life, spend some time exploring your options. If you’re still in school, see a career counselor. If you are employed, ask close friends and family about your strengths and what they think you are good at.
- The older you get, the more you know what’s right and help you find the right person for you.
- If you’re still thinking about your ex, you won’t be able to give your new relationship the necessary and healthy attention. [20] X Research Source
- It is important to be confident before starting a new relationship. If you’re just afraid of being alone, you still can’t start with someone else. [21] X Research Source
Advice
- If you find it difficult to bounce back, try following a role model – for example, a famous person you admire who has also been through personal struggles, or a fictional character in a book or book. movie, the capable person you admire. [22] X Research Source
- Avoid replacing the old person with a new one right away. It’s important to give yourself time to feel, think, learn from your feelings, and even grieve for the relationship. It won’t be fair to newcomers if you stick to the old image.
- Reading is a great way to escape reality and even teaches you many things, like writing your own story. Being a part of someone else’s story – their hopes and their sorrows – can help you get out of trouble, even light a spark.
- Traveling is also a great way to get to know your ex. The distance makes you feel more free and while it can be quite lonely, you will get through it and feel more confident in yourself for traveling to faraway places on your own.
Warning
- If you feel like life is no longer worth living or feel that if you can’t love that person you can’t love anyone, then you need medical help. Losing someone you love is painful, but humans have the ability to overcome and grow from the most difficult experiences. Don’t end your life for someone else.
- If you believe you have depression, consider seeing your doctor or counselor. Sadness is normal, but if you can’t get out of bed for weeks or months, you’re unwell and need help.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 15 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 2,786 times.
When someone you love hurts, it must be very difficult to overcome. Perhaps the best thing that can be done is to turn love into hate, but that actually only makes things more difficult because hate is not the opposite of love – both are intense emotions and drain energy. If you want to get over the pain of losing a loved one soon (whether it’s a breakup, a fight, a death, or something else), the best thing you can do is face your feelings and move on.
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