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This article was co-written by Tami Claytor. Tami Claytor is an etiquette teacher, image consultant, and owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York City, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in organizing etiquette classes for individuals, students, companies and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying culture through travels across five continents and organizes cultural diversity seminars to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a bachelor’s degree in economics with a major in international relations from Clark University. Tami attended Ophelia DeVore School and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her certification as an image consultant.
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Every woman has a different story about her growing up. But many have one thing in common: to become a real woman, they must undergo tremendous physical, mental, and intellectual change. Some of these changes are within your control, while others are biological processes that take place at their own time. Becoming a woman doesn’t happen overnight – it takes years for you to grow from a girl to a woman – however, these are the years that can provide you valuable life experiences that help set the direction for your adulthood.
Steps
Mentally mature
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Tell yourself that being a woman is your idea. Being a woman isn’t just about physical growth: it’s also about how you think and feel about yourself. It can take a lot of time and effort before you become a real woman, but there are a few steps you can take to prepare for this transformation. [1] X Trusted Source Understood Go to Source
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Read books about growing up and about women. The world is constantly changing, and there are many things that you need to learn. You should consider shopping or going to the library to check out books that can help guide you to the world of women. Pay attention to memoirs and autobiographies of women you respect. [2] X Research Resources You will learn more about the challenges they face, and this will help you cope with your own challenges.
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Learn about appropriate social skills and behaviors. If you act like an adult, people will not only treat you the same, but you will also develop higher self-esteem. [3] X Research Resources A few key steps you can take include:
- Avoid procrastination. You should take responsibility for your commitments, and complete tasks on time.
- Well behaved. Being kind and polite will prepare you to become a responsible adult. [4] X Research Sources
- Stand up for yourself. Politeness is important, but it doesn’t mean you have to allow others to trample you. You should learn to speak with confidence, even when people around you don’t behave as politely as you do.
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Act with confidence. While women tend to underestimate their abilities, men often overestimate their abilities. [5] X Research Sources This problem is called the “confidence gap”. You should keep this in mind as you enter adulthood: even if you’re nervous about a task, you’re probably the best at it. A few methods to help you overcome the confidence gap include:
- Looking for the typical female role model. Look for women in leadership roles who can help you learn leadership skills, like how to talk with confidence, supervise groups, and give constructive criticism . [6] X Research Sources
- Don’t allow your “nice” qualities to falter. Being kind and polite is an important skill for adulthood, but women are often assumed to be polite and kind instead of showing their knowledge and expertise. You should try to strike a balance between being nice and standing your ground. [7] X Research Sources
- Talk confidently. Practice conversing with others with confidence and strength. Stand up straight, pronounce clearly, make eye contact with the person listening to you, and speak in a firm tone. Don’t make affirmations like you’re asking a question or asking permission (“raise at the end of the sentence”). [8] X Trusted Source American Bar Association Go to Source
- Pass on skills to others. Just as young girls often rely on other mature women to learn leadership skills, you too can be an important role model for the younger generation. You should pass on your unique knowledge and skills to young people who can benefit from it, and keep honing your skills. [9] X Research Source
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Learn about the world. Staying up-to-date on current events and news is a great way to demonstrate understanding and accountability. You will have plenty of material for mature conversation and also begin to learn about your place in the world at large. This method will help you determine your own worth as you enter adulthood. You should:
- Regularly read books, watch movies, or listen to the news.
- Find journalists you respect and follow their articles.
- Read well-researched books about real people on topics that interest you.
- Make your own decisions. Although you will need to gather information from other sources first, over time you will be able to analyze the facts yourself. If you are old enough to vote, you should vote for the candidate and policy that best suits you. If not, you can find other ways to get involved, like by writing, signing petitions, or volunteering to help an organization you care about.
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Participate in the coming of age ritual. Almost every culture has important rituals to mark the moment when a boy becomes a man or when a girl becomes a woman. These rituals will help young people feel more mature and as if they are full members of the community. Whether it’s a Sweet 16 celebration (Sweet 16), Quinceanera (Latin version of Sweet 16), or Ji Li (Chinese 15-year-old girl celebration), they are all rituals. serves as a milestone in the young girl’s life. [10] X Research Source Depending on your culture, you might plan a ceremony or party to celebrate coming of age to mark the beginning of becoming a woman and saying goodbye your maiden.
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Set a goal for yourself and live by it. The important thing is that you need to set independent goals for the life path that you want. Your goals will be different from your parents’ and they may be influenced by friends and others. [11] X Research Sources You can even set goals that are completely different from those of your family or group of friends. Perhaps the most difficult factor for an adult woman is that she will live up to her own decisions and values. You should think carefully about your desires for life, and form a plan to live according to that goal.
Developing skills for the world of women
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Tell yourself that being a woman isn’t just about physical change. Being a real woman requires you to be emotionally, psychologically, and behaviorally mature. Most importantly: you must learn to be independent. This includes learning new skills and habits to help you succeed as an adult. [12] X Trusted Source Understood Go to Source
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Research the skill you want to build. There are quite a few things you need to learn. You won’t be able to learn everything at once, but these life skills will allow you to build your own path in the world without having to rely on anyone. You should consider buying or consulting books in the library that can help guide you to the world of women. Pay attention to reading manuals to learn valuable skills. [13] X Internet research , your friends, and trusted instructors will be great sources for you to learn the skills needed for a self-made woman.
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Financial management. Financial responsibility is important as you grow from a little girl to a woman. [14] X Trusted Source Understood Go to Source Perhaps you’re working your first job, preparing to pay for college, or thinking about moving out on your own. In these cases, you need to learn important skills such as:
- Balance your checkbook.
- Carefully track income and expenses.
- Pay taxes on time.
- Save money on big purchases and form a safety plan.
- Find out when you can borrow, and when it’s not.
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Determine the means of transport. One way to become an independent woman is to determine how to get from Point A to Point B without depending on your parents. Depending on your age and where you live, you may be able to find information about applying for or studying for a driver’s license. [15] X Research Sources If not, you can look for public transportation so you can move freely to school, work, and other places.
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Learn skills on the job. Staying true to your commitments, arriving on time, taking responsibility for your actions, and responding appropriately to criticism will greatly help your life as a woman, especially if you are pursue a career. [16] X Research Resources Finding and keeping a job will allow you to learn how to become independent, while also providing you with financial freedom as you grow into a real woman. consume.
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Take care of personal hygiene and appearance. As your body grows, it will require different elements to look healthy and attractive. [17] X Trusted Source Understood Go to source For example, you will have to shower more often than when you were a kid, and you need to use a variety of products to clean your face because now, it acne very easily. Some things that you need to keep in mind are:
- Keep your hair clean at all times. Whether your hair is short or long, straight or curly, you need to make an effort to keep it looking neat. You can keep your hair up in a bun, keep it short that you can easily take care of, or regularly trim split ends.
- Pay attention to the outfit. Make sure to choose clothes that fit well, are clean, wrinkle-free, and are in top condition.
- Wear accessories. Many women love to wear jewelry and makeup; Others don’t like it. If you want to wear accessories, you should make sure that they are appropriate for your age, follow the dress code at work or school, and are not allergic to them. For example, a bright pink unicorn necklace won’t be a problem when you’re a school-age girl, but for a new position at the local bank, someone else won’t. endorse this type of jewelry. Instead, you should consider wearing a simple gold chain.
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Take care of your living space. Whether you live with parents, siblings, roommates, or live alone, you need to take more responsibility for your living space. [18] X Research Sources When you were a child, you could overlook everything, but being an adult comes with many responsibilities. This means regularly cleaning up the mess you’ve created, vacuuming and sweeping the house, and always remembering to clean common areas (like the bathroom or kitchen).
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Learn to take care of your own meals. Learning how to prepare snacks and cook healthy meals for yourself will help you become a healthier, happier woman. [19] X Research Resources You won’t be able to rely on anyone to shop for you, so you’ll need to learn how to plan your meals, set up a grocery shopping list, and buy good ingredients for your food. health and nutrition, and prepare accordingly.
- Know that you will make many mistakes when learning to cook, but you should remember that every mistake you make is educational.
Physically mature
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Learn about the effects of puberty. Puberty is a period of biological development when a child’s body transforms into an adult. [20] X Research Source Puberty leads to many physical and mental changes in a girl’s body. For girls, puberty usually begins between the ages of 8 and 13 and can last up to 6 years. [21] X Research Source You need to understand the change that will take place so that you don’t feel shocked or panicky when your body changes. [22] X Research Sources Common changes during puberty include:
- Height increases rapidly and goes through a period of dominant height.
- Hips and chest developed. Pain in the hips and chest is normal during this period.
- Hair growth under the arms and in the intimate area.
- Sweat more.
- There are acne and other changes in the skin.
- Menstruation begins.
- Experience mood swings and swings. [23] X Research Sources
- Remember that if you don’t have your period by the time you reach the age of 14, you should see your doctor to make sure everything is going as normal. [24] X Research Source
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Consult a counselor about the body changes caused by puberty. Everyone goes through puberty differently, and many women have different ways of dealing with them. However, there are a few steps you can take to make the maturation process smoother and less stressful. An important step is to talk to another adult woman you trust – be it a family member or an outsider – about how to respond to physical and emotional changes. He or she will act as an important mentor throughout this stage of life. [25] X Research Sources Not only will you benefit from listening to the person’s growing up story, but they’ll also guide you in preparing your body for growth.
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Learn to appreciate your changed body. The years of becoming a woman will be quite exciting, but also not less difficult. Many girls feel stressed by weight gain, skin changes, new curves, and unexpected height. About 50-80% of women report that they have negative feelings about their body during this sensitive period. [26] X Research Source You should try to engage in positive activities so as not to wallow in negative thoughts. For example:
- Tell yourself that the media image is not accurate. It’s easy to compare yourself negatively to the model or actor you see in the news. You should remember they are not your norm. You need to know that to change a superstar’s appearance, people have to use special effects, makeup crews, professional lighting techniques, and airbrush makeup (using a special substance). to conceal skin imperfections). [27] X Research Resources If necessary, you should steer clear of unrealistic media images, stop reading fashion magazines, and spend time with friends instead.
- Praise yourself. Even if puberty is causing changes you don’t want (like acne), you’re probably going to love certain features of your new body. Do you prefer taller? Feeling more mature? Own curves? Look in the mirror and praise yourself. [28] X Research Source You should feel proud of how you’ve grown.
- Give compliments to your friends. Remember that your friends may have the same negative and insecure thoughts about their bodies as you do. Tell them everything you appreciate about them, and boost their self-esteem. [29] X Research Sources
- Maintain healthy eating and exercise habits. Many women desperately want to fast or exercise excessively in response to the changes in their bodies. However, gaining weight, increasing body fat, and becoming more rounded are normal, healthy changes to a growing body. You should resist the temptation to go to extremes, sticking to the principles of proper diet and exercise instead. Always remember to eat nutritious food when hungry, and never fast. [30] X Research Source
- Talk to your doctor about concerns about your body. If you feel like something is wrong with your body, you should consult your doctor. Your doctor will help you determine if your changes are normal and healthy. [31] X Research Source
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been shown to be an effective treatment for people with a negative body image. [32] X Research Sources If you have always had negative thoughts about your self-image, you should talk to your doctor or counselor. You don’t have to live with them, and you’ll feel happier and more confident with the right treatment.
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Go shopping with friends or a guide. Some of the physical changes that come with puberty will require you to buy new clothes and supplies in order to stay comfortable with your body. Perhaps, you will have to go shopping several times as you go through different stages of puberty. And it also takes some time to determine the type of product that you love the most. Going with a friend or guide will make the shopping process easier. Everyone has different preferences, but in general, you’ll find the following items to be purchased: [33] X Trusted Source HealthyChildren.org Go to source
- When you find yourself sweating more, you should buy deodorant (covers body odor) and antiperspirants (minimizes the amount of sweat that comes out from under the arms).
- As your breasts grow and become sore, you can look for sports bras or bras. They will help support and shield your breasts.
- When body hair starts to grow or becomes darker, you should purchase a razor or hair removal kit. However, not everyone wants to get rid of body hair: decide for yourself what you want!
- When you get your period, you’ll have to buy regular tampons or tampons to protect your clothes from staining.
- If you have acne, you should buy over-the-counter acne medications and cleansers. You can also ask your doctor about a stronger prescription medication.
- As you grow taller and have more curves, you can shop for new clothes at the teen or women’s clothing section. Because you will grow so fast, your clothes will be tight faster than usual. You might consider buying clothes at a thrift store to save money while getting used to your new body and finding your own unique style.
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Take care of your sexual health by visiting a gynecologist. During and after puberty, females will be able to become pregnant. [34] X Source of Research This will be a huge and difficult responsibility. You need to take care of your sexual health. Female minors need to see a gynecologist, who can provide advice on birth control pills, knowledge about preventing STIs, screening for cancer, and many other measures. other methods to maintain the health of a woman’s body. [35] X Research Source
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Realize that not everything will happen all at once. On average, women reach emotional maturity at age 32. (For men, this age is 43). You still have a lot of time to grow and change: you can’t become a real woman overnight. This is a rather lengthy and gradual process. [36] X Research Source Only when you reach the age of 25 does your brain fully develop. [37] X Research Source You should try to enjoy this journey of becoming a woman, even if it takes a long time.
Advice
- Be around mature girls and women you admire. Learn and grow together. Share with them your goals, dreams, and even mistakes: they can help you understand what it means to grow and develop.
- Understand that change won’t happen overnight, so allow yourself time to feel, learn, and grow.
- You should remember that not every girl wants to be a woman, and not every woman is a girl at birth. The important thing is that you need to be prepared to grow into the person you want to be.
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This article was co-written by Tami Claytor. Tami Claytor is an etiquette teacher, image consultant, and owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York City, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in organizing etiquette classes for individuals, students, companies and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying culture through travels across five continents and organizes cultural diversity seminars to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a bachelor’s degree in economics with a major in international relations from Clark University. Tami attended Ophelia DeVore School and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her certification as an image consultant.
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Every woman has a different story about her growing up. But many have one thing in common: to become a real woman, they must undergo tremendous physical, mental, and intellectual change. Some of these changes are within your control, while others are biological processes that take place at their own time. Becoming a woman doesn’t happen overnight – it takes years for you to grow from a girl to a woman – however, these are the years that can provide you valuable life experiences that help set the direction for your adulthood.
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