How to Go From Introvert to Extrovert

Like many other things in life, human character is complex and continuous. Despite evidence that your brain determines how introverted or extraverted you are, ^{[1] X Research Source} , everyone has both introverted and extroverted traits. Most people fall in the middle. ^{[2] X Research Source} You may even feel more introverted or extroverted depending on the day or your recent experiences. ^{[3] X Research Source} This property is referred to by the term “ambiversion.” ^{[4] X Source of Research} Sometimes introverts feel like there’s something wrong with them. ^{[5] X Research Sources} Introversion is in the nature of many people, and there is nothing wrong with that. While you may never truly “go from introversion to extroversion,” there are steps you can take to promote your extrovert traits and develop this side of yourself.

Table of Contents

Understanding Introversion and Extroversion

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Recognize “introverted” traits. Introverts are usually more reserved than extroverts. They usually enjoy being around people, but they still prefer the company of one or two close friends over a crowd of strangers (not to be compared with shyness). Some of the differences between extroverts and introverts may be because introverts’ brains process information differently than extroverts’ brains. ^{[6] X Source of Research}^{[7] X Source of Research} Contrary to popular belief, introverts do not “hate people” nor are they necessarily shy. The following are common introversion traits: ^{[8] X Research Source}

Find stillness. ^{[9] X Research Source} Introverts are generally satisfied with being alone. Many times they prefer solitude, at least most of the time. This doesn’t mean they are afraid of people, it’s just that they don’t have a strong need to be around other people. ^{[10] X Research Source}
Dislikes stimulation. This usually implies social stimulation, but can also refer to physical stimulation. For example, introverts actually salivate more when they taste sour foods than extroverts! Noise, crowds, and bright lights (like a typical nightclub, for example) are not usually things that introverts are interested in. ^{[11] X Research Source}
Prefers company with a few people or light conversations. ^{[12] X Research Source} Introverts may enjoy socializing, but they often get tired after a period of social interactions, even pleasant ones. Introverts need to “recharge” themselves. ^{[13] X Research Source}
Likes to work alone. Introverts often don’t like working in groups. They often prefer to do things alone, or only in cooperation with one or two people. ^{[14] X Research Source}
Like schedules and planning. Strong introverts often react to new things unlike extroverts. Introverts often have a need for timetables and predictability. They can spend a lot of time planning or thinking before taking action, even on small things. ^{[15] X Research Source}^{[16] X Research Source}

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Recognize “extroverted” traits. Extroverts like being in the middle of a crowd. They are usually very active, and generally have a lot going on around them. ^{[17] X Research Source} It is often assumed that extroverts cannot tolerate loneliness, but that is not the case. They just use their alone time differently. ^{[18] X Research Source} The following are some common extroversion traits:

Look for social situations. Extroverts are usually happiest around people. They often use socializing as a way to “charge their batteries” and may feel exhausted or sad without social contact. ^{[19] X Research Source}
Enjoy sensory stimuli. ^{[20] X Source of Research} Extroverts often have a distinct way of processing dopamine, causing them to feel euphoric or satisfied in the face of new and stimulating experiences. ^{[21] X Research Source}
May like attention. Extroverts aren’t more conceited than anyone else, but they usually don’t mind when people notice them.
Feel comfortable working in groups. Extroverts don’t always enjoy working in groups, but in general they are comfortable with it and don’t feel uncomfortable. ^{[22] X Research Source}
Have an interest in adventure, adventure and novelty. ^{[23] X Research Sources} Extroverts are interested in seeking out new experiences. They can get bored easily. They may also rush into action or experience. ^{[24] X Research Sources}

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Know that extroversion factors are biological. Research shows that extraversion is tied to two regions of the brain: the amygdala, responsible for processing emotions, and the nucleus accumbens, the “pleasure center” that responds to stimuli of dopamine. ^{[25] X Research Sources} How to respond to risk and stimulation – key elements of extraversion – depends in part on your brain.

Many studies have linked dopamine to extroversion. It seems that extroverts’ brains are more likely to respond – and respond strongly – to the “happy” chemical when risk and adventure are met. ^{[26] X Research Source}^{[27] X Research Source}
Extroverts may seek out novelty and variety due to the action of dopamine. One study found that people with a particular gene that increases dopamine levels seem to be more extroverted than those without the gene. ^{[28] X Research Sources}

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Take a personality test. The Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory, one of the largest tests of introversion/extroversion, must be administered by an expert. ^{[29] X Research Resources} However, there are many versions of the free test available online. They are not as comprehensive and technical as the MBTI, but they can give you an idea of where you usually fall on the introversion/extroversion scale.

The 16Personalities website has a short and useful MBTI-style free quiz. In addition to pointing out your “personality type,” it also helps you understand some of the common strengths and weaknesses associated with your salient personality traits. ^{[30] X Research Source}

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Find out if you are introverted or shy. There is a common misconception that introverts are extremely shy. On the contrary, there is also a story that extroverts always love to party. Both are not always correct. Shyness stems from fear or anxiety about social interaction. Introversion stems from a low level of natural need for communication. Introverts have low levels of social initiation, but their avoidance levels are also low. ^{[31] X Research Source}

Research shows that introversion and shyness have a very low relationship – that is, being shy doesn’t mean you don’t want to be around other people, and not wanting (or needing) to be around. Being around other people doesn’t mean you’re shy. Even extroverts can be shy! ^{[32] X Research Sources Cheek, JM, & Melchior, LA (1990). Shyness, self-esteem, and self-consciousness. In H. Leitenberg (Ed.), Handbook of Social and Evaluation Anxiety (pp. 47-82). New York: Plenum Publishing.}
Shyness becomes a problem when you feel it makes you anxious or interferes with the things you want to do. ^{[33] X Research Resources} Support groups and self-acceptance training can help you overcome annoying shyness. ^{[34] X Research Sources}
Wellesley College offers a free version of the shyness measure to find out here. This quiz measures your shyness based on a series of questions such as: ^{[35] X Research Sources}
- Do you feel nervous around other people (especially those you don’t know well)?
- Do you want to go out and socialize with other people?
- Do you feel afraid of being confused or not knowing what to say?
- Do you feel more uncomfortable around the opposite sex?
A score above 49 on the Wellesley scale indicates that you are very shy, a score between 34-49 indicates that you are somewhat shy, and a score below 34 indicates that you are not very shy. ^{[36] X Research Resources} You can use this tool to decide if you should strive to be less shy.

Step out of your comfort zone

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Find your optimal anxiety zone. Psychologists suggest that there is a zone of “optimal anxiety” (also called performance anxiety) just outside your comfort zone. This theory suggests that the presence of limited anxiety actually boosts your performance. ^{[37] X Research Source}

For example, many people do a great job starting a new job. The new job is a bit stressful for them, so they focus and work harder to prove to themselves and to their superiors that they are capable.
Finding the optimal anxiety zone is quite complicated; you have to monitor yourself to find the threshold at which anxiety engulfs performance.
An example of stepping out of the optimal anxiety zone is starting a new job without being trained or qualified to do it effectively. In this case, anxiety about not performing well can drown out any potential effects. ^{[38] X Research Sources}

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Motivate yourself little by little. Pushing yourself to step beyond your comfort zone can help you learn new things and do things you never thought possible. As you become comfortable with stepping out of your comfort zone, you will develop your more extroverted traits, such as a love of novelty. ^{[39] X Research Sources}^{[40] X Research Sources}

However, don’t push yourself too far – and there’s no need to rush. Going too far from your comfort zone will cause more anxiety than help, and your performance will plummet.
Try to start small. For example, if you’re normally the type of person to quietly eat a barbecue and potato dinner, it might not be a good idea to rush in and swallow a still-beating cobra heart in front of everyone. Try taking a small step out of your comfort zone, like taking a friend out for sushi and trying something you’ve never eaten before.

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Get comfortable with challenging yourself. Challenge yourself to try something new every week (or at a frequency that works for you) so that your commitment to change doesn’t falter. One of the benefits of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is that you’ll become accustomed to your optimal anxiety zone. When your brain is trained to accept new things, it becomes less difficult to try new things. ^{[41] X Research Source}

Understand that you may feel uncomfortable with these challenges, especially at first. It’s not important to immediately feel great when trying new things. The key here is that you tell yourself that you are ready to learn new things.

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Do something random. One characteristic of extroverts is that they love new experiences and adventure. Introverts, on the other hand, prefer to plan and think through every detail before acting. Push yourself to let go of your tight plans and time management. ^{[42] X Research Source}

This doesn’t mean that you should quit everything and take a trip to Thailand spontaneously and unplanned (unless you want to). Just like anything else, you should start step by step and get used to small random acts.
For example, visit a coworker’s break room and ask them out for lunch that day. Take your lover out to dinner and a movie without any preconceived notions of where to go and what to watch. Small actions like these will help you feel more comfortable with spontaneity in safe and comfortable situations.

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Prepare for group interaction in advance. When you know you’ll be going out in public, leading an activity, hosting a meeting, or standing in front of a crowd, you need to prepare and organize your ideas. This will help reduce anxiety and stress.

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Show communication skills. It’s a common belief that extroverts are “better” than introverts. This is not really true. ^{[43] X Research Source} However, at first people perceive extraversion as more positive, because extroverts often seek interaction with others. ^{[44] X Research Source} Challenge yourself to find at least one interaction when you are in your next social situation. ^{[45] X Research Sources}

Talk to someone at the party. “Socializing in the room” as a strong extrovert may seem overwhelming to you. Instead, you just plan to talk to one person. Suggest getting to know each other by saying something like, “Looks like we haven’t met yet, I’m…” ^{[46] X Research Source}
Find people who “sat alone”. They can be introverts or just shy. Saying hello can be the start of a great friendship, but you’ll never know if you don’t try. ^{[47] X Research Source}
Accept your weakness. If you feel uncomfortable approaching strangers, you should start with that! Humorous comments about your nervousness like “I never know how to respond to situations like this” can help relieve stress and encourage the other person to strike up a conversation with you. ^{[48]X Research Source}
Prepare some “chatty” stories. Introverts like to plan ahead, so you can prepare a few stories for the next time you’re out socializing. Do not use clichés or make the listener shudder. Try using open-ended questions that require long answers that aren’t just “yes” or “no”. For example, “Tell me what you can do” or “What is your favorite activity here?” People love to talk about themselves, and open-ended questions are a way to invite them to talk to you. ^{[49] X Research Sources}

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Find social situations that work for you. If one of your goals is to make new friends, you’ll have to find a way to do that. There’s no rule that says you have to go to nightclubs or bars or anywhere else, unless you want to. Not all extroverts go to a particular sports club to socialize. (Some extroverts are actually quite shy!) You should consider the type of person you want to be friends with, then find social situations where you can meet them – or you can create your own. . ^{[50] X Research Source}

Invite a few friends over to your house and have a small gathering. Invite each friend to bring another of their friends, preferably someone you’ve never met. In this way, you will meet new people in a comfortable setting with people you already know.
Expand your online relationships and communication into real-life conversations. For example, if you participate in forums, you should focus on local people and find opportunities to meet them outside. This way you won’t have to meet seemingly complete strangers.
Remember that people with strong introverts are prone to overstimulation. ^{[51] X Research Sources} You won’t get to know people if you have to deal with multiple distractions at the same time. Choose places or situations that are pleasant (or just slightly uncomfortable). You’re more likely to communicate when you’re comfortable.

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Take a workout class. Of course, you can still appreciate your introverted traits. For example, a yoga class might be perfect for you, as yoga demonstrates a focus on inner reflection and stillness. Befriend the person sitting next to you, or ask the instructor a few questions.

Remember that you don’t have to talk to everyone in the room to show your extroversion.

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Join or start a book club. This is a great way to turn a solitary activity into a social one. Book clubs allow you to share your ideas and thoughts with like-minded people. Introverts enjoy deep conversations with a small group of people, and book clubs are an ideal place for this. ^{[52] X Research Source}

Book clubs meet not so often, for example once a week or a month. This is suitable for introverts, because they often do not like to socialize too often.
If you don’t know where to find a book club, you can look it up online. Goodreads.com operates as an online book club where people can discuss and contribute ideas. Goodreads also lists many local book clubs. Find a group that seems to suit you.

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Take an acting class. You might be surprised to learn that many famous actors are strong introverts. Robert De Niro is a man with a high level of introversion, but he remains one of the top famous actors in America. ^{[53] X Research Source} Emma Watson, best known for her “Harry Potter” movies, also describes herself as a quiet and introverted person. ^{[54] X Research Source} Acting can allow you to transform into a different “person” and explore behaviors that you may not be comfortable with, but in a safe environment. ^{[55] X Research Source}

Improv classes can also be helpful for introverts. You will learn how to respond, how to develop flexibility, to take in new information and experiences. One of the concepts of improvisation is accepting everything that happens to you and taking control of it – a skill that can absolutely push you to step out of your introversion comfort zone. ^{[56] X Research Source}

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Join a music group. Joining a musical group, such as a choir, band, or even a quartet, can help you make new friends. These activities may be suitable for introverts, as focusing on music can reduce your social pressure.

Many famous musicians are introverts. Country music legend Will Rogers and pop star Christina Aguilera are just a few examples. ^{[57] X Research Source}

Maintain human-to-human relationships

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Hello everyone. Introverts sometimes forget that not everyone feels “charged” after being alone. You need to remember to ask friends and loved ones, even just say hello. Active communication is part of extroversion, but with a little practice it shouldn’t be too difficult.

Social media can be a good vehicle for the first step in your relationship. Send a friendly message to a friend on Twitter. Post a picture of a funny cat on your Facebook wall. Actively communicating with others, even with small gestures, can help you develop your extrovert side.

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Set guidelines for social interaction. If you are in a relationship with someone who is more extroverted than you, you can ask that person to help you develop your extraversion. However, you will benefit from discussing your likes and dislikes in communication. Set guidelines for how to manage your various needs. ^{[58] X Research Source}

For example, an extrovert may really need to socialize often to feel fulfilled. Even though you’re trying to be open and comfortable, you probably still don’t want to socialize as much as your other half. Sometimes leaving your partner out alone will give you time to stay home and recharge, and that way you’ll both feel happy.
You can ask your lover to take you to social events. Even if you don’t feel very excited, you should give it a try every now and then. Having someone you know and trust with you will make you feel more comfortable.

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Tell the other person how you feel. Introverts can be too introverted, so they don’t always remember to express how they feel to others. This makes it difficult for others, especially those with strong extroverts, to tell if you are having fun or are desperately trying to avoid. ^{[59] X Research Source} Tell others how you feel before they have to ask.

For example, if you’re at a party with a friend, say to your friend, “I’m so happy!” You may be reserved or quiet by nature, but that doesn’t mean you have to be so mysterious.
Similarly, if you feel low on energy while partying in front of other people, let it out. You can say things like, “I felt so happy, but now I’m tired. I have to go home. Thank you everyone for the fun today!” That way others will know you had a pleasant experience, but you can also voice your need to go home and recharge.

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Respect your differences. Introversion and extroversion are just different qualities. No one is superior to the other. Don’t put yourself down because the way you react to situations is different from your friends or loved ones. Likewise, don’t judge others on how they react to the situation. ^{[60] X Research Source}

Unfortunately, it’s common for extroverts to have the stereotype that introverts “hate people” or are “boring”. It is equally unfortunate that introverts perceive all extroverts as “shallow” or “chaotic”. Don’t think that you have to lower the “other side” to raise yourself up. Each type of person has strengths and challenges. ^{[61] X Research Source}

Advice

Introversion is not synonymous with shyness. An introvert is actually more interested in solitary activities than in social activities, while a shy person avoids social situations out of fear and anxiety. If you’re someone who enjoys talking and socializing with people but feels numb, or doesn’t feel confident, you’re probably dealing with shyness. See the article Overcome Shyness.
Introverts feel that social situations cause burnout. If you’re an introvert, don’t worry about socializing when you simply need time alone.
While shyness and social anxiety are problems that can be managed and remedied, introversion is a personality trait that is usually stable throughout life. Better to be yourself, recognizing your worth and contributions as an individual and as an introvert.

Warning

Embrace your extroverts because you want to, not because someone else tells you that you “should” be a certain way. Love yourself!

Steps

Understanding Introversion and Extroversion

Step out of your comfort zone

Maintain human-to-human relationships

Advice

Warning

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