How to Get Your Confidence Back

Confidence can lead people to more success and happiness in life. Research has shown that people with high self-esteem (self-esteem are thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself) are less likely to develop depression. ^{[1] X Research Sources Jesse, DE, Kim, H., & Herndon, C. (2014). Social support and self-esteem as mediators between stress and antepartum depressive symptoms in rural pregnant women. Research in Nursing and Health, 37(3), 241-252. doi: 10.1002/nur.21600} In contrast, feelings of low self-esteem can have a negative impact on our mental health, relationships, studies or careers. Fortunately, there are ways that can help you regain your confidence in general and in specific situations like relationships or at work.

Table of Contents

Build Confidence

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Think about yourself. If you’re constantly lacking in self-confidence, it’s easy to talk about your mistakes and failures, but what about seeing the positives? Most people find this much more difficult. Researchers have found that self-esteem is formed from two factors, one is perception, such as good memories of oneself and one’s behaviour, and the other is self-affirmation, i.e. how you rate your current attitudes and behaviour. ^{[2] X Research Sources Keke, W., Chenwei, L., & Johnson, D. (2011). Rpe of self -esteem in the relationship between stress and ingratiation. Psychpogical Reports, 108(1), 239-251. doi: 10.2466/07.09.20.PRO.108.1.238-251} List all the things you like about yourself – the qualities and skills that make you who you are. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

One thing that can help is to seriously sit down and write down every idea that pops into your head. Grab a notebook or journal and set aside a time of 20-30 minutes. Journaling is a great way to keep talking to yourself about who you are and what you want to be. This is a way to reflect and discover yourself, and can help you see qualities in yourself that you didn’t really recognize before. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
Think about the areas where you want to improve, such as assertiveness or confidence. Not only do you need to reflect on how you feel, you also need to consider why you feel the way you do. Start understanding your true self and let it manifest. If you have trouble handling certain things in the presence of other people – for example, your confidence and competence suddenly disappear when other people appear, such as in a relationship or at work – then becoming aware of all aspects of yourself is the first step to transformation.

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Look back on your life and achievements. Maybe you didn’t give enough credit for what you’ve accomplished in life. Take the time to reflect and look back on the “glories” of the past, big or small – achievements that make you proud. This will give you a place in the world and the value you bring to the people around you, and from that your confidence will be built. Research has shown that part of building self-confidence is organizing good memories of your abilities and accomplishments. As you begin to acknowledge that you used to be radiant, hopeful, and confident, you will find it easier to believe in your ability to return to the admirable person you were before and work miracles again. . ^{[5] X Research Sources Keke, W., Chenwei, L., & Johnson, D. (2011). Rpe of self -esteem in the relationship between stress and ingratiation. Psychpogical Reports, 108(1), 239-251. doi: 10.2466/07.09.20.PRO.108.1.1.238-251}^{[6] X Research source}

During this time, list all of your accomplishments. Remember to record everything , from the big achievements to the little everyday things. The list can include things like learning to drive, going to college, moving into your own apartment, making a good friend, cooking a delicious meal, getting a degree or a bonus, get an “adult” job, or something like that. The possibilities like that are endless! Every now and then you take the list out and add to it. You will find that you have much to be proud of. ^{[7] X Research Sources}
Review old photos, scrapbooks, school yearbooks, memorabilia from your travels, you might even consider using a collage of photos of your life and achievements to date. via. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

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Focus on positive thoughts and beliefs. Instead of getting bogged down in negative thoughts, try to focus on positive, encouraging, and constructive thoughts. Remember that you are special, someone who deserves love and respect from others and from yourself. You can try the following strategies: ^{[9] X Research Resources}^{[10] X Research Resources}

Speak hopeful statements. Be optimistic and avoid pessimistic self-fulfilling prophecies. If you wait for the bad, it will often come to you. For example, if you anticipate that your presentation will not go smoothly, it may happen. Instead, think positively and tell yourself, “Although it will be challenging, I can make this presentation well.”
Focus on “can” statements and avoid “should” statements. “Should” statements imply that there is something you need to do (which you are not doing right now) and can cause stress if you do not meet that expectation. Instead, focus on what you CAN do.
Cheer yourself up. Encourage yourself and acknowledge the positive things you have done. For example, you might find that even though you’re not getting the exercise you want, you’re also hitting the gym an extra session a week. Acknowledge that you have made positive changes. For example, “My presentation may not be perfect, but my colleagues ask questions and are interested – that means I have achieved my goal.” Over time this will adjust your thinking in a more confident direction.

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Set goals and expectations. Write down a list of things you want to achieve and make a plan to accomplish those goals. For example, maybe you decide to volunteer more, find a new hobby, or spend time with friends. Make sure your goals and expectations are realistic. Trying for the impossible will not make you more confident, on the contrary, it will only decrease your confidence. ^{[11] X Research Source}

For example, don’t randomly decide that your dream by the age of 35 will be to play professional hockey or be a lead dancer in a ballet company. This is unrealistic, and it will knock your self-confidence when you realize that the goal is so far away and unattainable. ^{[12] X Research Source}
Instead, you should set more realistic goals, such as getting better at math, playing the guitar, or learning a new sport. When you set goals that you can constantly strive for and accomplish, you will stop being stuck with negative thinking that lowers your self-esteem. You will find that you have the ability to set and achieve your goals and enjoy a sense of fulfillment.
You should also set goals that help you see and feel your genius. For example, if you want to be more informed about world news, decide to read the newspaper every day for a month. Or you want to get better at fixing your bike and decide to learn how to tune your bike yourself. When you accomplish goals that make you feel capable and strong, you will feel more satisfied with yourself.

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Keep pretending until you actually make it. This proverb is also true. You can’t instantly gain confidence, but once you’re aware of who you are and what you want, you can show it outwardly, and it will eventually turn into confidence. inside. This same act of trying to appear confident can boost your confidence as you see how it affects those around you.

Use body language to show confidence. Keep your back straight when standing or sitting. Walk with slow, comfortable steps. Make more eye contact with people, and if you feel nervous, smile instead of looking away. ^{[13] X Research Source}
Smile more. Studies have found that the very act of smiling can improve your mood and make you more optimistic. ^{[14] X Research Source}
Speak more (more is better than less) with strong confidence. This is especially true for women, who are often quiet and less assertive when dealing with men. Make an effort to make your voice heard; Your opinion is important and you are worthy to contribute to the dialogue. ^{[15] X Research Source} When you speak up, you need to speak clearly and pronounce correctly; Do not mutter or cover your mouth with your hand.

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Seize the opportunity. Don’t forget that you can’t control the thoughts, feelings, and actions of others, only yourself. Instead of being afraid of the unknown and worrying because you can’t control it, try to appreciate it. Accept that the world around you is vast and unpredictable, and seize the opportunity to find something new. You’ll be surprised how much success you can achieve if you take the initiative to move forward, as the old adage says “have the guts to get rich” – and if you fail, you’ll find that life Your life goes on. Either way, taking a little risk and trying new things is one of the best ways to regain your lost confidence.

Go catch up with someone on the bus, send your picture or story to the newspaper, or even ask the person you have a crush on out. Choose an activity that takes you a little further out of your comfort zone and into the realization that your life will go on no matter what the outcome.
Experiment with new activities. You may discover a talent or skill you didn’t know you had. You may practice running and discover that you are very good at running long distances, which you never thought possible before. This will help boost your confidence. ^{[16] X Research Source}
Consider engaging in artistic activities such as painting, music, poetry, and dance. Art often helps people express themselves and gain a sense of “mastery” about a certain skill or subject. Many communities offer free or affordable classes.

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Helping others. Research shows that people who do volunteer work often feel happier and have higher self-esteem. It may seem paradoxical to say that you should help someone to feel good about yourself, but science has proven that the feeling of social connection that comes with volunteering and helping others really does. makes us feel more positive about ourselves. ^{[17] X Research Source}

The opportunities to help others are endless. Volunteer at a nursing home or at home for the homeless. Get involved with your church or community to help those who are sick or needy. Dedicate time and energy to fellow human beings or animals. Help and teach children. Cleaning the park during community-organized occasions. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

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Take care of yourself. Taking time for yourself can also help improve confidence in general. The healthier you are physically and mentally, the more likely you are to be satisfied with yourself. This means that you should do everything you can to stay healthy , whatever it is from your point of view. Here are a few suggestions: ^{[19] X Research Sources}^{[20] X Research Sources}

Eat at least three meals a day of nutritious and healthy foods like whole grains, lean proteins (like poultry and fish) and fresh vegetables to nourish and fuel your body. Drink plenty of water to keep your body hydrated.
Avoid foods with caffeine, sugar, and processed foods. These can affect your mood and should be avoided if you are concerned about mood swings or negative emotions. ^{[21] X Research Source}
Body training. Research shows that exercise can actually boost self-esteem. That’s thanks to the body releasing “happy chemicals” called endorphins. This sense of well-being can be accompanied by increased optimism and energy. Try to exercise three times a week, at least 30 minutes each time with heavy exercise. Or at least take some time for a brisk walk every day. ^{[22] X Trusted Source Harvard Medical Schop Go to Source}
Reduce stress. Make a plan to reduce stress in your daily life by taking time to relax and engage in activities that interest you. Take a yoga class, meditate, do gardening, or do whatever makes you feel calm and optimistic. Note that sometimes stress can cause people to overreact or let negative emotions take over. ^{[23] X Trusted Source National Health Service (UK) Go to Source}^{[24] X Research Source}

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Banish the idea of perfection. Perfection is a bogus concept created by society and the media, and it is doing most of us harm by making us believe that perfection IS achievable, the problem is only with us. not talented enough. No one is perfect. Read your new mantra. You never have the perfect life, perfect body, perfect family, perfect career, etc. And neither does everyone. ^{[25] X Research Sources}

Focus on the effort instead of just focusing on the desire for perfection. If you just don’t try because you’re afraid you can’t do it perfectly, you’ll miss the opportunity in the first place. If you never try to play on a basketball team because of lack of confidence, you won’t be able to get a good position on the team. Don’t let the pressure of perfection keep you from moving forward. ^{[26] X Research Source}
Accept that you are a human being, that being human is fundamentally imperfect and must be flawed. In fact, it is the imperfections that make us human, and help us to mature and become better. Maybe you didn’t get into a top university or got rejected when you applied for a job. Instead of berating yourself for your mistakes, see them as opportunities to learn and grow, which you can later correct. You may find that you need to think more about your future education, or need to learn interview skills. Be kind to yourself and move forward; This won’t be easy, but it’s key to avoiding the cycle of feelings of self-pity and lack of confidence.

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Be persistent. Building confidence takes time, because every sudden feeling of confidence is temporary at first. You need to show confidence and take advantage of opportunities to build real confidence.

Remember that confidence is not something you gain, but a process. Throughout your life, you must work tirelessly to build and then re-establish self-confidence, because life will present many surprises and obstacles in your way. You are constantly evolving, and so will your confidence.

Regain Confidence in Relationships

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Take care of yourself. To be confident in a relationship, the only way is to be confident in yourself. Follow the steps in part 1 and work on building your inner confidence. If you believe in your worth, it’s a step in your journey to more confidence in your relationship. Also, try spending time alone and find satisfaction and contentment in it. Read a book, go for a walk or exercise. You will learn more about yourself and what you want, and then you bring that into your relationships with others.

Remember that developing self-esteem is an integral part of romantic success. A study of 287 young people found that those with high self-esteem – which includes confidence in both appearance and personality – were more likely to be successful in relationships. ^{[27] X Research Resources Bale, C. & Archer, J. (2013). Self attractive perceivedness, romantic desirability and self-esteem: A mating sociometer perspective. Evputionary Psychpogy, 11(1), 68-84.}
If your confidence has been hurt recently because of a bad relationship or breakup, let time help you recover. Numerous studies have shown that divorce and separation can have adverse effects on your physical and mental health, including increased stress and anxiety, and an increased risk of alcohol abuse. diabetes and heart disease. It’s not easy to break up a relationship, but you can get over a breakup by letting time heal and get on your feet. ^{[28] X Research Sources}

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Ponder the past. We cannot change the past, but we can change the way we see things in the past, both the good and the bad. Try to think about your previous relationships and how they might affect your current outlook. This will help you learn how to deal with your past feelings without letting it affect you. ^{[29] X Research Sources}

For example, maybe your ex has cheated on you in the past. Instead of blaming yourself and continuing to carry the burden on your back, think that this makes you less able to trust your future lover, making you always afraid like a bird afraid of a bent branch. You will be able to get through when you know the areas where you lack confidence.

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Maintain foresight. When you’ve “grieved” over your previous relationship and taken time to calm down, you’ll find it easier to look to the future, and realize that the end of the old is the beginning of the new. Think of the big world with so many people out there as an opportunity instead of a fear. How many people on this earth for you to choose. ^{[30] X Research Source}

You will also find that past relationships are not a reflection of who you are, but rather an image of a larger context that includes many people and factors (such as third parties, distance, conflict). engraving, etc.) Relationships don’t show who you are, but only what role you play in them. Even though you blame yourself when things don’t go your way, time and foresight will help you realize that there are many reasons why things don’t turn out the way you want them to, and that you’re not the basic person to be. error.

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Seize the opportunity. Try new things to meet new people and build your confidence. Sign up for an online dating service, or just try to meet people at parties, events, or markets and classes. Be confident and don’t be afraid of rejection. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to walk up and talk to someone you just met.

Many women are very shy when it comes to men, because traditionally relationships don’t start that way. But now is the 21st century! If you are a woman and are laughing at that acquaintance, think again! It’s an opportunity to boost your emotional confidence that you should seize, and you might be surprised at the results! Don’t forget that if you don’t try, you never know where things will go.
You don’t have to date everyone or try everything, but be selective. Enjoy the friendship and affection of those you love and care about, and remind yourself that you still have a lot to contribute to your relationship.

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Abandon shyness. Don’t play someone who doesn’t look like you. Everyone has flaws and flaws. Let those things unfold as you interact with others and let go of all the pretense. For example, if you like someone, don’t pretend to “make up your mind” by being unapproachable and acting like you don’t care. Instead, open up and tell the person that you enjoy being around them. Sincerity, honesty and openness are TRUE confidence. And that confidence will help you open up to real connections with people. ^{[31] X Research Source}

Also, learn to express worries and insecurities. When trying to deal with the insecurities that creep into your relationship, you need to be frank with yourself and with your partner. Honesty is the wisest course of action. Speak up how you feel. When you’re open MEAN you’re confident. ^{[32] X Research Source}

Regain Confidence at Work

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Consider all aspects. When something bad happens in your professional life, it can be difficult to focus on anything else, on everything that has come before, as well as everything that has yet to come. Anger, hatred, and cynicism often overwhelm them all. When this happens, try to take a step back and assess the situation more calmly. For example, if the person getting the promotion isn’t you but someone else, look at all sides of the situation instead of just reducing it to “My boss hates me” or “I made a mistake and didn’t get it.” promotion is my fault.” Instead, think about why the other person is a good fit for the job and how you can improve to make sure you don’t miss the opportunity next time.

Always maintain the big picture. Instead of letting your anger take over when you feel someone is insulting or being rude to you, try to think about why they say that. Let go of the thought that what you did was the cause, and think about stress and ego that also contributed to this.
Recall the details of your success back in the day. For example, if you were recently promoted or praised, remind yourself of that and why you were promoted. This can help boost your confidence without any cliché. Instead, you are using your experience and energy to motivate and nurture your inner confidence! ^{[33] X Research Sources}

Warning

Lack of confidence is different from mental illnesses such as depression or chronic anxiety. If you feel you can’t control your mood and stress levels, seek advice from your primary care physician or mental health professional such as a counselor or therapist.

Steps

Build Confidence

Regain Confidence in Relationships

Regain Confidence at Work

Warning

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