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Breakups can be an extremely painful and challenging experience, especially when it involves someone you deeply care for, such as a boyfriend. The end of a relationship can leave you feeling lost, heartbroken, and desperate to find a way to get your boyfriend back. While every situation is unique, and there are no guarantees when it comes to matters of the heart, there are strategies and techniques that can increase your chances of rekindling the flame and rebuilding your relationship. In this guide, we will explore various ways to reignite the love and win back your boyfriend’s heart after a breakup.
This article was co-written by Courtney Quinlan. Courtney Quinlan is a matchmaker, dating coach, and owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding partners for clients, guiding them through the dating process and organizing events for singles in the Midwest. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 43,121 times.
When your boyfriend decides to break up, perhaps the first thing that comes to your mind is to call him to confess your feelings and hope that he comes back. Maybe you just want to beg in your heart to be with him again, but first you should consider whether this is really good for both of you. If you really want to mend your boyfriend, you should make space for him, work on improving yourself, and finally contact him in a friendly manner.
Steps
Think about why he broke up with you
- Recall your boyfriend’s behavior in the weeks before you broke up. This will help you determine if the relationship is salvageable.
- If the two sides suddenly cut off because of some kind of conflict, maybe he just needs time to calm down.
- If your relationship hasn’t worked out for months, you should consider whether your efforts to reconnect with him are worth it.
- If physical violence occurs, you should understand that physical abuse is unacceptable. Going back to someone who used violence against you is not a good idea.
- On the other hand, the use of violence against the opponent is also never acceptable. Seek support from family, friends, or even a doctor if you are or have had thoughts of harming the other person.
- If the cheater is him, think about whether you can truly forgive. Perhaps you’re reacting emotionally if you’ve just broken up.
- If it’s you who cheated, think about whether it’s fair to him to try to get him back. Most of us have a hard time overcoming emotional betrayal.
- Adultery can have a deeper cause. Maybe people don’t feel happy with the person next to them.
- Maybe he’s no longer interested because one of you has changed. Perhaps you are going through a period of temporary change because of difficult circumstances or a change for the better. Sometimes that’s why people naturally drift away from each other.
- If your relationship ended because you both changed, it’s probably best for each person to go their separate ways.
- Make sure you do your best not to repeat the mistake. If he agrees to come back, it’s important that you avoid making the same mistakes again.
- Don’t try to get him back if you don’t mean it sincerely, because doing so will only cause more pain for both of you.
Make space for him
- Try cutting off contact for a week if you think a short break is best.
- If you’ve been through a painful breakup, avoid contacting him for at least a month.
- During this time, you should try not to reply to texts or call back if he contacts you. You may decide to contact your ex-boyfriend later on, but the time you spend being quiet will spark interest in him.
- Unfriending is only necessary if you feel the temptation to contact and see your ex’s posts. If not, it’s best to leave this channel of communication open for future use.
- Don’t look at what he posts on social media. The happy images of your ex when you are not with you will make you even more heartbroken.
- Stay polite and friendly if you both work at the same place or go to the same school, but don’t talk to him unless absolutely necessary.
Focus on yourself
- Sadness comes when people break up is normal. However, you should seek help if sadness overwhelms all aspects of your life and time cannot bring you relief. [14] X Research Source
- Seek support if it’s been more than two weeks and sadness still haunts you during meals, sleep, and makes it hard to concentrate. This is even more important if you have thoughts of harming yourself or committing suicide.
- Don’t let feelings of self-pity weigh heavily on your heart. You can allow yourself to be sad for a while, but don’t forget your positive sides.
- Shop for new clothes. New outfits can show off your excitement, charm or strong personality. [17] X Research Source
- Start exercising your body. A healthy lifestyle change will be good for you, and your ex may notice the change, too.
- Sign up for a yoga class
- Visit a new place.
- Take a cooking class.
- Volunteer at a homeless shelter.
- Consider your strengths and weaknesses, but don’t dwell on your weaknesses. Instead, think of ways to improve them.
Contact him with a friendly attitude
- If texting, don’t open up a long conversation. Tell him you hope he’s okay, or that you’ve come across something that reminds him of him. [21] X Research Source
- Don’t be so quick to say that you miss him, love him, or expect him to come back.
- Don’t keep texting if he doesn’t respond. Wait at least a few days or a week before trying again. If he absolutely does not respond, do not continue to contact him.
- Let’s not talk about the relationship between the two of you. Tell him about your new life and ask how he’s doing.
- Don’t get emotional or angry if your ex doesn’t respond the way you expected.
- Invite him out for coffee.
- Suggest going for a hike or a walk with him.
- Ask him out to the movies or to an event you think he’ll enjoy.
- Tell him about new things you’ve experienced while you’ve been apart.
- Use the confidence you found during the breakup to remind him how interesting and friendly you are.
- Don’t offer to resume the relationship right away. Tell him that you feel like you two are going back to the good old days.
- Suggest to him that you want the two of you back together, saying that you feel the time apart is enough for a new beginning.
- Discuss the differences between the two sides and come to a consensus. Don’t rush to get back together without resolving the issues that led to your breakup.
- Don’t dig up the past once you’re back together. Let’s deal with the past before the two of you decide to start over.
- Don’t react negatively if he decides not to come back. Maybe he’s not ready. Don’t ruin future opportunities by overreacting.
- Ask him if he doesn’t want to come back is final. Accept that you won’t be able to reunite with him again.
Advice
- Take pictures of your adventures and post them on social media. Show your ex that you’re still happy without him. [29] X Research Sources
- Don’t rush to contact him after calls, texts, or outings. You should not rush to speed up the process.
- Be yourself. Don’t try to change yourself just because you think he likes it.
- Understand that it is unlikely that the two of you will be together after contacting again. There are many predestined relationships without debt. Even if you two get back together after a breakup, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be together.
Warning
- Don’t threaten your ex-boyfriend with violence or self-harm.
- Respect your ex’s decision if he doesn’t want to contact you. Constantly annoying someone you don’t want to be in contact with is not healthy behavior.
- Don’t rush to contact your ex-boyfriend. You may feel like you can’t live without him, but understand that this is not good for both you and him.
This article was co-written by Courtney Quinlan. Courtney Quinlan is a matchmaker, dating coach, and owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding partners for clients, guiding them through the dating process and organizing events for singles in the Midwest. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 43,121 times.
When your boyfriend decides to break up, perhaps the first thing that comes to your mind is to call him to confess your feelings and hope that he comes back. Maybe you just want to beg in your heart to be with him again, but first you should consider whether this is really good for both of you. If you really want to mend your boyfriend, you should make space for him, work on improving yourself, and finally contact him in a friendly manner.
In conclusion, getting your boyfriend back after a breakup is a delicate and complex process. It requires introspection, emotional healing, effective communication, and patience. While there is no guarantee of success, following the strategies mentioned in this guide can increase your chances of rekindling your relationship. Remember, it is important to respect yourself and your boundaries throughout this journey. If getting back together is truly meant to be, it will happen in due time. However, it is equally important to be open to the possibility that moving on may be the best course of action for both parties involved. Remember to prioritize your own happiness and growth, regardless of the outcome.
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