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This article was co-written by Kirsten Thompson, MD. Kirsten Thompson is a psychiatrist, clinical instructor at UCLA, and founder of Remedy Psychiatry. She specializes in psychiatric conditions such as major depressive disorder, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum depression. Thompson holds a bachelor’s degree in operations science & industrial engineering from Cornell University and a doctorate in medicine from the State University of New York, Downstate School of Medicine.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 17,463 times.
Life changes can leave you reeling and unsure of what to do. Whether it’s financial problems or the death of a loved one or a divorce, it’s not easy to navigate what to do next. However, there are ways to help you reduce the stress load when life has unexpected changes.
Steps
Mental adjustment
- For example, when you lose your job, it’s okay to admit that you feel angry, frustrated, scared, and want revenge.
- Take 15 minutes a day to be true to your feelings. Don’t let your mind interfere, just sit and feel things. [1] X Research Source
- You can record your thoughts and feelings in a diary.
- Don’t be afraid to cry. Crying helps release negative compounds in your body, relieves stress, improves your mood, and helps you deal with a traumatic situation. [2] X Research Source
- If you don’t get into the university you want, your world hasn’t completely collapsed and you haven’t lost your chance to land your dream job. Remember that you have choices, and then good things will come.
- Try not to overdo things. Ask yourself, “Is this anxiety really that bad?” If you are worried about something in the future, ask yourself, “Is this likely to happen?”
- If you find yourself constantly worrying, choose a “worry time”. At the start of your day, you can spend 15 minutes worrying about your problems. If you have anxious thoughts about anything outside of your predetermined “worrying time,” remind yourself that this is not the time to worry.
- Instead of resenting the situation you’re in, you need to adapt to it. For example, if you have financial problems, you should not spend money as lavishly as you used to. You need to be aware that you have to change your spending habits.
- You can practice acceptance through mindfulness meditation. Make a list of things that are out of your control. Then, with your eyes closed, breathe slowly until you reach a meditative state. Imagine you’re offering that list to a god and forgetting everything. [5] X Research Sources
- Take a moment each day to think about what you are grateful for: maybe you are grateful for a dog, children, a beautiful sunset, a nice walk, or a phone call with your sister. Take a moment to express gratitude for those things.
- Remembering the most difficult time in your life, now that you are standing here, you have made it through that difficult and dark time. You were able to endure this before, so can you now.
- Resilience doesn’t develop when you’ve let go of the stress in your life, it does develop when you’re dealing with stress and given enough time and space to recover. [8] X Research Sources
- For example, you broke your leg and couldn’t walk for a while. The resilience shown here is finding ways to adapt to new situations, such as working hard in physical therapy to regain strength in the legs, or learning to walk with a wheelchair or crutches. You have to understand yourself as a winner, even if your abilities may not be the same.
- Think about past difficulties and lessons learned. Many people say they feel more confident in their abilities or grateful for life. [9] X Source of Research You must understand that there are always experiences to be drawn after every difficulty.
Optimistic action
- For example, if you and your partner always discuss finances late at night and then go to bed frustrated, move the discussion to the morning and allow enough time to talk about the issue.
- Once you know the solution, you need to make sure to create a concrete action plan to move forward. This requires you to define specific goals and action steps to achieve them.
- For more information on how to achieve your goals, you can check out other articles on goal setting and execution.
- Don’t let your self-esteem stop you from seeking help. No one knows everything and you can totally help them later.
- Sharing your problems with others helps you to see things from a different perspective that you have never thought of before.
- When talking to others, let them know what you want. If you want feedback, ask them to express their thoughts and feelings about the situation you’re in. If you want them to listen, tell them directly. Sometimes a well-intentioned person will give you feedback and help you solve the problem, when all you need is someone to listen to you.
- Body massage
- Take time to journal and express your thoughts and feelings.
- Set aside 20 minutes a day to meditate or take a nap.
- Go for a walk or a brisk walk if you don’t have the time or energy to go to the gym.
- Laughter relieves stress. [15] X Research Source Watch funny videos about falls or animals to help you laugh more.
- Optimism is also helpful. Find the positive side in everything. [16] X Research Source
- Determine the method that works for you (don’t run away from your problem). Find activities you enjoy and do them! Be it hiking, horseback riding or journaling.
- Therapy helps you explore yourself and your situation in a way that encourages growth.
- Experts can help you in many cases. If you are experiencing stress at work, relationships or difficulties, you can seek professional help.
- Offer to help friends with errands
- Spend time volunteering at an animal shelter
- Volunteer once a week with children and the elderly
Advice
- Avoid making important decisions while grieving, as it can be difficult to think clearly during this time. [20] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
Warning
- If you find yourself engaging in the following destructive or dangerous behavior, you should see a mental health professional as soon as possible. Behaviors include: heavy drinking, drug use, weapons use, extravagant spending, overwork, and many other non-constructive compulsive behaviors. [21] X Research Source
This article was co-written by Kirsten Thompson, MD. Kirsten Thompson is a psychiatrist, clinical instructor at UCLA, and founder of Remedy Psychiatry. She specializes in psychiatric conditions such as major depressive disorder, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum depression. Thompson holds a bachelor’s degree in operations science & industrial engineering from Cornell University and a doctorate in medicine from the State University of New York, Downstate School of Medicine.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 17,463 times.
Life changes can leave you reeling and unsure of what to do. Whether it’s financial problems or the death of a loved one or a divorce, it’s not easy to navigate what to do next. However, there are ways to help you reduce the stress load when life has unexpected changes.
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