How to Get the Attention of Someone You Love

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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 52,033 times.

It’s really not easy to secretly love someone, especially when they don’t even know you exist in this world! Although there are no secrets to make your crush (the person you have a crush on) notice you, you can capture her or that guy’s emotions with certain methods. First of all, you should show off your best features. That means being the most beautiful, active, positive and confident person you are. Then, try to put yourself in situations where you can interact with your crush so that he or she realizes how unique and adorable you are!

Table of Contents

Get attention

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Spend more time taking care of yourself. You should spend another 10 or 15 minutes looking your best before meeting your crush. Small changes can also make you very attractive in the eyes of that person. Good looks not only make your crush notice you but also give you more confidence to approach the other person. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Pay attention to the hair. You just need to use a quick brush to make a difference. In particular, girls are often more confident with straight or curly hairstyles.
If you wear makeup, make sure the makeup has good adhesion and will stay on the skin all day.
Also, make sure to take good care of your body by getting enough sleep as well as taking care of your skin to look fresher and healthier.

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Looks so different. Dressing out of line with those around you is a good way to attract attention. This is especially effective if you are in an environment where everyone is dressed similarly. ^{[2] X Research Source}

If everyone at school is dressed the same or in uniform, wear a big necklace or a cool pair of sneakers to get your crush’s attention.
If you are in a professional work environment, dress appropriately but differently. For example, you could use a collared shirt with an interesting pattern or a sparkly headband.

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Wear red. If red suits you, wear it. Studies show that both men and women are attracted to each other when they wear red. Pick a red dress or red shirt from your wardrobe to grab your crush’s attention. If you don’t like red, choose another bright color to help you stand out from the crowd. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Do not overdress. Trying to impress your crush can easily overwhelm you with your outfit. You want to look gorgeous, but remember to dress appropriately for the situation. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, if your crush is in your yoga class, don’t dress like you’re striding the red carpet.
Remember that things only get better in moderation. This is quite true when using perfumes and fragrances.

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Make sure the person you have a crush on has seen you there. You should try to get into the enemy’s line of sight. If you two are in the same class, sit near or in front of him. If you see him at the gym, go work out nearby. Do this until you’re sure your crush has seen and known your presence! ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Don’t hang around your crush too much. There’s a difference between stalking your crush and making sure your partner sees you.

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Participate more. Wherever you see your crush appear, join in. If you go to the same school as your crush, join a sports team or an extracurricular activity. If you volunteer with your crush, take on more hours. Participating in a variety of activities will help raise your visibility and show you are a person with motivation and goals, which are all attractive qualities. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Communication

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Meet your crush’s friends. If you’re too nervous to talk to your crush, try talking to his friends. If your friends know one of his friends, reach out and talk together. If you don’t have any connections with your crush’s friends, try starting a conversation with one or two of them using similar situations, such as during a class or a work project. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

You can start a conversation with something as simple as: “When do I have to hand in my English homework?”
If you can talk to a lot of his friends, it won’t be long before you meet or hang out with your crush. Being friends with his friends is a way into his world.
You should not mention your crush to his friends. If you start asking about your crush right after meeting them, your liking for him will be exposed. Try to stay calm.

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Non-verbal flirting. If you feel nervous about approaching your crush, there are a few things you can do to get your crush’s attention and interest. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Make eye contact and smile. Making eye contact and smiling will show you are friendly and approachable, but don’t overdo it. If your crush doesn’t respond the first time, keep doing it.
If you are a girl, play with your hair, especially if you have long hair. Twist your hair around your fingers or swipe it to the side. Attracting attention to your hair will help honor your inherent beauty.

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Start a conversation. If you haven’t talked to your crush before, now is the time to act. Find a reason to start a conversation with him, preferably when there are few people around so the conversation doesn’t get interrupted. If you don’t know much about your crush, talk about things related to the situation the two of you are going through. ^{[9] X Research Source}

For example, if you’re waiting in line, ask him, “Do you think this wait is worth it?” If you’re in the break room at work, you might say, “Have you tried the cookie Sam brought in? It’s delicious!”
Asking questions is a great way to start a conversation. For example, if you two are in the same class, you might ask, “Hey, what did Mr. Nam tell you for homework?”
You can also ask for help. Asking your crush for help is always a great way to start a conversation, whether it’s opening a jar, reaching for something, carrying a heavy suitcase, or helping with homework. This will make your crush feel good about himself, and create the first positive interaction between him and you.

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Talk about common ground. Once the two of you have started talking, talk about what you two have in common. People are often attracted to each other by similarities, so share your passions to create a connection. ^{[10] X Research Source}

For example, if you’re both on the school track and field team, ask your crush, “How do you feel about the upcoming competition?”

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Ask about herself. Ask your crush questions to show her that you care and want to learn more about her. People often like to talk about themselves, so this is also a good way to keep the conversation going. ^{[11] X Research Source}

For example, ask your crush, “How long have you worked here?”, or “Do you have any other classes this semester?”

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Be a good listener . After asking about the guy himself, you may not know what to say next, how to answer or how to fill the gap in the conversation,…all this will be resolved by listen. It’s hard to listen to someone while you’re nervous at the same time – listening attentively will help you get rid of your anxiety and take control of the situation.

Try to respond with interesting follow-up questions or something to show your crush that you’re interested and listening to him. If your crush talks about taking scuba classes, ask about his diving interests, where he’ll be taking classes, or when he’ll get his certification.
Don’t see the gaps in your conversation as an opportunity to shift your focus to yourself. Conversations should go back and forth, so you shouldn’t spend all of your time talking about your partner, nor should you wait for him to pause so you can talk about yourself.
Show that you’re a good listener and genuinely care about your crush and that he can talk freely when he’s around you.
If this doesn’t worry you too much, make eye contact with him to show you’re listening and interested. Don’t stare as it might seem a bit intense, but you should try to look him in the eye every now and then.
Show listening by nodding or responding with definite sounds (like “Mmm-hmm” or “That’s right”).

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Compliment your crush. In general, everyone likes words with wings. During the conversation, try to compliment your crush on something. A compliment is also a good way to keep the conversation going as new topics will be promoted. ^{[12] X Research Source}

If you know your crush through a sport, you can say, “I’ve seen you play football. You’re a great scorer!”
You can also say, “I like your shirt,” or compliment some other aspect of her appearance.
Restrain yourself when praising the other person to avoid flattering her too much.

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Laugh at his jokes. You can flatter and connect with your crush by laughing at his jokes. This shows him that you also have a sense of humor and that he is interesting in your eyes. Laughing together is a great way to connect and share a moment. ^{[13] X Research Source}

When you laugh, you can even say, “You’re so funny!”
If you want to flirt more, gently touch his arm while you smile. This will create an extra bond between the two of you and make your crush feel closer to you.

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Keep contact. Keep meeting and chatting with your crush. Say hello every time you meet your crush in the hall or somewhere in town. Continuing the story the two of you just talked about earlier. If you find your crush has a crush on you, ramp up your flirting or even date him!

Be yourself

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Define your personal style. You should take a look at your wardrobe. Make sure all the clothes you own fit you, and not the ones that are old and can’t be worn. Your clothes will show you and your personality. If you define your style, your crush can get to know you and your personality, which will make the other person more interested in talking to you.

If you are a sports lover, wear a shirt of your favorite team. If you are the feminine and graceful type, honor yourself with soft colors and lace.
If you are a strong personality, wear a black shirt and jeans (jeans).
Do not imitate your crush’s style. Just because your crush has a school vibe, don’t force yourself to dress like you’re going to a country club if that’s not your style. You need to be really comfortable and confident with your outfit.

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Speak your mind. Say it out loud when your crush is near you. If you are in the same class as the person you have a crush on, join and answer the questions. You should express opinions and make comments at work or club meetings. Even you just try to chat with friends around crush. This will help your crush better understand who you are. ^{[14] X Research Source}

Try to stay cheerful and optimistic when your crush is with you. Happy and confident people tend to attract others, so stay positive when your partner is around.

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Use social media. Social media is a great way to indirectly reach your crush. Even if your crush isn’t friends on Facebook or doesn’t follow you on social media, he can still see your posts or pictures through mutual friends. ^{[15] X Research Source}

Try to take care of your social media profile to stand out as much as possible. Make sure your posts and pictures show you as a positive and interesting person.
Make sure you’re not tagged with any bad or “bad” photos.

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Confidently use body language. Even if your crush makes you nervous, try to stay confident. Stand up straight and smile relaxed. You should not cross your arms, look down or fidget as you will look stiff and tense with these movements. Try to turn your body towards the other side. ^{[16] X Research Source}

Advice

Take it one step at a time if you feel nervous around your crush. Taking the time to get your look right can give you the confidence boost you need to take that next bold step.
Don’t think that you have to be someone’s copy to get his or her attention. Being yourself will always be the best way.
Don’t flirt too much. It’s better to lower your voice and talk to the other person like a friend than to be too aggressive.

Steps

Get attention

Communication

Be yourself

Advice

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