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This article was co-written by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Ohio. She received her Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 17,782 times.
There are many ways you and your partner can truly become closer without sex. Intimacy often starts with emotions, so let’s start by working together to improve emotional bonding. You should be open with the person and really listen when they speak. If you don’t want to have sex because you’re not ready or want the relationship to slow down and become more meaningful, you can actually feel more connected to your partner without sex.
Steps
Build emotional closeness
- Being open about yourself can help you and your partner learn from and support each other in a new and deeper way.
- For example, tell your crush about your dream of becoming a baker or getting your diploma.
- For example, if your partner values privacy, don’t share intimate details of your relationship with their acquaintances.
- Practice active listening with your partner and build closeness when you’re sure you can trust, listen, and understand each other.
- Ask questions like: “If you could be anyone, real or not, who would you be and why?”, and “What would you say to your younger self if you could? What will you say to your old self?”
- Ask questions about your relationship as well. For example: “What do you think makes us so compatible?”, “How can we communicate better?” and “What do you like to do when we are together?”
- For example, say, “I had a really bad day. Can we talk about it?”
Physical intimacy without sex
- Take the person’s hand, wrap your arm around their waist or shoulder, and try to touch them more.
- Sometimes, one of the two has to be the initiator.
- Hold the person for a long time by wrapping your arms around them and don’t let go.
- If your crush isn’t used to hugging you, be honest and say you want to.
- Your breath will become his or her breath. Whether the two of you start breathing together or not, you will both start to become in sync with your breathing.
- After completing this exercise can be a great time to talk and confide in deep things that normally would be difficult for you to talk about.
- Take the time to look deeply into the person’s eyes. Sit away from each other and look into each other’s eyes. Start at 30 seconds, then gradually increase the duration as you feel more comfortable.
- Kiss that person in many ways. For example, kissing on the lips, cheeks, neck, hands and other parts of the body (without leading to sex).
- Discuss your comfort level with the person. If you don’t have sex for some reason, set specific limits on physical intimacy. For example, you might kiss but don’t want to take off your clothes.
Have fun while creating intimacy
- For example, try taking a boxing, racing, or dancing class.
- Use information from intimate conversations to think of activities you both enjoy. Alternatively, you could try doing something special with either of you.
- When doing something together in an exciting mood, couples will feel more connected.
- For example, go to a haunted house or go for a walk in the dark together.
- Take him or her to visit the place where you grew up and talk about your memories. Then tell them to do the same for you.
- Family matters can be difficult to talk about, but try to answer all of their questions.
Advice
- Respect each other’s limits. Even your own.
- Praise each other.
- Any intimate act or touch must be consensual and reciprocated from your lover. Touching without permission is a violation of the person’s limits.
Warning
- Some of the guidelines in this article may lead to sexual intercourse. If you don’t want to, say so! Don’t be afraid to speak up.
This article was co-written by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Ohio. She received her Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 17,782 times.
There are many ways you and your partner can truly become closer without sex. Intimacy often starts with emotions, so let’s start by working together to improve emotional bonding. You should be open with the person and really listen when they speak. If you don’t want to have sex because you’re not ready or want the relationship to slow down and become more meaningful, you can actually feel more connected to your partner without sex.
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