How to Get a Girl’s Phone Number

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This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.

There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 60,857 times.

If you meet a girl you like, the next step will probably be to ask for her phone number to create an intimate bond and arrange a date. However, getting a girl’s phone number can be quite a challenging task. It’s okay if you’re nervous, but don’t let this become a complicated or impossible process. During the conversation, attract her with your caring attitude, your sense of humor, and your charm. Once everything goes well, you can immediately ask for her phone number. Whether you want to casually ask her out or just continue the conversation, come up with a reason to exchange numbers that she can happily agree to.

Table of Contents

Start a conversation

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Introduce yourself at the start of the conversation. Whether you’re approaching her from across the room, or you’re both sharing a joke between strangers, or are in a group of mutual friends, it’s a good idea to introduce yourself properly. Start with a greeting or question to start a conversation or introduce yourself immediately if appropriate for the situation. Whichever way you choose, make eye contact, give her a warm smile, then tell her your name and ask for hers. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If it’s your first guitar class, try starting a conversation with, “Dude, have you ever taken classes like this?” Then say “My name is Duy, what’s your name?”
If you’ve talked for a few minutes but haven’t introduced your name, just pause to say “Ah, my name is Dung”. Maybe she’ll tell you her name too, or you can ask her.

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Focus on the conversation and don’t dwell on your question. Sometimes getting a girl’s phone number can be a daunting task, especially if you get nervous in social situations. If you’re obsessed with the idea of how to get her number, you look distracted or uninterested. Try focusing on things you both feel comfortable talking to. That way, your questions will turn out much easier! ^{[2] X Research Source}

Try to keep the conversation natural and fun so you don’t lose your composure — or her attention.

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Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. Move the story forward by asking a few questions about her. You can start with topics related to the scene at hand, then move on to more personal topics related to her work, school, friends, and family. Learn more about the girl by asking questions about her personal interests, ambitions, and perspectives. Pay attention when you listen to her to show that you care about her reaction and want to learn more about her.

Lean over to her, put away your phone and other distractions, and show her that what she has to say is important to you. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
After guitar class is over, you can ask her about her experience playing the guitar and ask if she’d like the instructor. Then when you’re both out the door, you can ask, “So you live nearby?” or “How long have you been in this city?” to make the story more personal.
If you’re chatting on social media, start by asking about her recent posts or photos, and then expand to more meaningful topics.

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Start flirting to suggest that you have romantic feelings for her. If the conversation seems to be going well, move into a more informal direction to clarify your intentions. Show her your charm. Try joking around or complimenting her. You can compliment her on her talent, intelligence, personality, and even her looks. ^{[4] X Research Source} Use open body language or break down touch barriers to show that you find her attractive.

Try to make her laugh with witty jokes or jokes to flirt with her.
If you’re going to joke or tease her, be gentle. Share funny comments or jokes “Sounds like someone in my class had to tune the strings… is that you?!” ^{[5] X Research Sources}
Use funny emoticons if you’re chatting on social media to show the tone of your message and show her your mischievous side.

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Share something personal to show your soft side. As the conversation deepens, you can tell more about yourself. Tell her cute and short stories from her childhood that will melt her heart. Tell how much you love your sibling or pet. Be honest and reveal your vulnerable side when sharing about your work and ambitions. Balance between showing humor, flirting, and showing your soft side to show that you don’t just want to win her over, but that you really want to get to know her better. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

After she shares her work, you can say something about your wishes: “Are you a teacher? Great! He also enjoys working with children. You are also the coach of the children’s soccer team.”
Unless she tells you to continue, turn your attention back to her with another question like, “What grade do you teach?” or “Do you like football?”
Don’t let the conversation turn into a one-way interview; maintain a balance and a relaxed atmosphere where both of you can talk openly.

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Show confidence to exude attractiveness. Look her in the eye, maintain a dignified posture, and speak calmly. Show her you love who you are and that you love meeting new people. If she sees that you’re comfortable with yourself, she’ll be comfortable with you, too. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

If you exude confidence, you always seem to succeed in getting girls’ phone numbers, and this implies that you are attractive to other girls. ^{[8] X Research Sources}
It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous, but if you show anxiety or jitters, it looks like you’re not used to talking to girls or are often rejected. This may make her wonder that something is wrong with you.
Reassure yourself that the worst case scenario won’t be so bad. The worst possible scenario is: you ask for her number, she refuses, and you end the conversation. It’s not a disaster!

Ask for her phone number

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Bring the topic into the middle of the conversation to increase your chances of success. Don’t wait until the end when it’s almost over to start asking. Instead, make suggestions at the climax, when both are comfortable and happy. When the conversation is raging, you feel comfortable and you both laugh at each other, ask for her phone number.

When it comes to the point where you think, “I’m having so much fun talking to this girl that I don’t want it to be interrupted by asking for her number,” then it’s time to ask.
If you get her number in the middle of a conversation, you can keep chatting and connect a little longer.
Don’t leave as soon as you get the girl’s number. She may think that you just want to “score” and not really want to get to know each other. ^{[9] X Research Source}
If you feel like the atmosphere is boring or she keeps looking around the room, checking her phone, or trying to find her friends’ gazes as if to avoid it, you’ve missed your chance. Wait until next time to get her attention and ask for her number.

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Try turning it into a date invitation. If you really like the girl, ask her out instead of just asking for her number. Let her know what you mean by asking her if she’ll agree to go on a date. When the conversation is exciting, you can say, “I’m leaving soon, but I’d love to continue talking to you over dinner or coffee next week. How do you feel?” If she says she likes your idea, say “Great! Then we exchange phone numbers so we can stay in touch.”

If you ask her out, asking for her phone number is just a reasonable little detail, not a big deal. ^{[10] X Research Source}
If you’re texting on social media, say something like, “Let’s see each other – give me your phone number so we can schedule an appointment.”
This approach helps dispel the doubt surrounding your offer. She may be hesitant to give you her number if she doesn’t know what your intentions are.
You need to follow the plan and keep your word. If you’re told to arrange a date, text her within 24 hours to discuss the details.

READ More: How to Make Simple Cookies

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Let her know you appreciate her by telling her that you need her number so you can plan together. Instead of begging, take a more confident, assertive approach. Try saying something like, “Hey, I need your phone number so we can talk about it next week.” If you don’t specify a date, say, “I’m starting to really like you. I need your phone number so we can keep in touch.” She will appreciate your assertive approach and know that you have serious intentions with her. ^{[11] X Research Source}

If you want to be more gentle, you can express it like this: “Give me your phone number” or “I want your phone number.” Be sure to add a reason: “… let me ask you out someday” or “…so we can talk more.”

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Offer to text her a link or video to get her phone number when you share something cool. This is a great way to subtly insert your offer into the conversation. When you’re chatting, look for a link to an article, video, meme, or whatever you can text her. Remember that it’s not what makes her laugh or amuse. ^{[12] X Research Source} Feel free to mention this and specifically explain why you think she likes it. When she’s excited about what you’re recommending, ask for her phone number to send her the link.

If you know she likes a certain guitarist, you can say, “I just saw a great cover of this on YouTube, I think you’ll like it! Can you send it to me?” Then pull out your phone and say, “What’s your phone number?”

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Give her your phone number first to suggest she do the same. This tactic works best if you have a pen and paper available to write on. During the conversation, take out a paper or tissue. You can also playfully grab her notepad or see if you can write in the corner of her notebook. Be polite and write down your number with your name and a witty message related to the conversation you just had. ^{[13] X Research Source}

You can write “555-555-1234. Playing bad guitar and having fun chatting! – Tuan” or “Khanh, my non-secret fan: 555-555-1234.”
Don’t just shove a piece of paper into her hand and run; Watch her reaction, see if she smiles or laughs out loud. If yes, ask cutely, “Can I have your phone number too?”. If she seems hesitant, stay calm and explain that you want to get in touch with her to ask her out someday.

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Ask if she’d like to exchange numbers, if you want to be a little more tactful. Instead of asking, “Can I get your number?”, try saying something like asking her to do something together: “Shall we exchange phone numbers so we can schedule a date next week? ” or “Hey, how about we give each other our phone numbers so we can talk more?” Be sure to speak in an excited and encouraging tone to make it easier for her to agree. ^{[14] X Research Source}

To get her number after you connect on social media, you can explain that you want to exchange phone numbers so you can talk to her in real life.
If you talk about it like it’s a fun thing you can both do, she won’t feel pressured.
If you don’t like the aggressive approach too, try this one. Same question, but the wording is less direct.

Respond positively

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Give her your phone right away so she can enter the number easily. Give her your phone so it’s easier for her to enter the number and harder to refuse. You can take out your phone while talking and open the “Add new contact” screen, then give it to her to enter her name and number.

This tactic is appropriate in noisy places, such as bars or concerts. She won’t misinterpret your signal, and you won’t have to strain your ears to hear her say the number.
People are used to entering contact information into other people’s phones in many situations, so take advantage of this flexibility.

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Text her right away once you get her number. Even if you’re still sitting across from each other, you can send her a cute mischievous text so she has your number too. Send a short, sweet text that makes her smile but doesn’t interrupt the conversation for too long. This will save you from being confused about when to start calling or texting. ^{[15] X Research Source}

Try texting sentences like “Viet, that cute guitarist I just met”.
Be a little more proactive by asking her out with the first message: “Hi, it’s Huy. Shall we meet this Friday?”

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Be respectful and polite if she refuses to give you her number. Maybe she doesn’t want to give you her number for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Show her that you accept her decision without being upset. End the conversation in a friendly manner if you wish.

Try saying something like, “Oh, that’s okay. Anyway, I’m happy to talk to you. Have a nice evening!”
If she already has a boyfriend or isn’t interested in dating right now, you can still stay friends. Suggest to add her to your favorite social network, hopefully one day you two will meet again. ^{[16] X Research Source}
Don’t be disappointed if your plan doesn’t work out. Keep asking for girls’ phone numbers, the more you try, the higher your chances of getting a positive response.

Advice

When talking to a girl, watch for her verbal and nonverbal cues. These signals are clues to whether or not she likes you and are more likely to give you her phone number.

Warning

Don’t ask your friends to ask for her phone number or trick her into giving you her number with silly tricks. She may think you are too cowardly to ask her directly.

Steps

Start a conversation

Ask for her phone number

Respond positively

Advice

Warning

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