How to Get a Girlfriend When You’re Shy

Getting a girlfriend can be quite difficult and challenging, if you are a shy person. Shy people often won’t take the initiative to invite others out because they’re afraid of being rejected. Even so, you can try many ways to boost her confidence, have the courage to ask her out, and most importantly, create a chance to be her boyfriend.

Table of Contents

Build yourself

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Change appearance. You should show confidence in front of others. To be confident, you need to look decent. Therefore, you need to invest in how you look in the eyes of others to gradually feel comfortable about yourself and become more confident. Try changing the following:

Review the wardrobe. Get rid of sloppy or unsuitable clothes for your age and where you’re going.
Neat hair. If you have a beard, trim it carefully. Otherwise, shave every day. Besides, make sure the hair is always high above the collar and the ears.
Stay in shape. If you lack confidence or worry about your unbalanced body, take the time to practice to improve. Go for a run a few times a week or go to the gym. After a short period of time, you will see a positive change in your physique and you will also be more confident. ^{[1] X Research Source}

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Choose your posture and body language. Poor posture will give the impression that you lack confidence. Stand up straight, look straight ahead, arms at your sides, smile if you want. Take time to observe the postures and body language of others, especially someone you admire and find attractive.

Avoid stooping.
Avoid cracking your knuckles or keeping your hands in your pockets.
Pay attention to how you swing your arms as you walk.
Don’t cross your arms or be on the defensive when talking to others. ^{[2] X Research Source}

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Be polite and behave like a gentleman. If you are rude and awkward, it will be difficult to approach the girl you like. Therefore, be polite and behave like a gentleman. Not only will this help you exude confidence, but it will also make her feel special. Besides, if she sees that you treat other women politely, she will know your good side and want to be around you.

Hold the door, if appropriate.
Listen and don’t interrupt when she speaks.
Be kind to the service.
Let her choose.
Don’t overdo it. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Build a sense of humor if you’re not a joker. Humor relaxes others when they are stressed. If you’re not a humorous person, accumulate a few jokes to say at times when it’s awkward. Try some of the following:

Situational jokes, which are a form of observation, make jokes about the situation and turn attention to something silly or out of the ordinary.
Jokes against yourself are great if you’re confident. However, think twice if you become nervous or uncomfortable.
Avoid cynical jokes, offending people, and anything about religion, politics, or other people’s looks. You will become a mean person. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Finding girlfriend

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Practice dating skills. Practice will help you realize your shortcomings in getting to know, flirt, and approach women. This way, when you meet a girl you have a crush on, you’ll do things more smoothly than if you hadn’t practiced. Please try:

Flirt with girls you meet at bars.
Laugh at the girl you meet on the street.
Have a drink with the girls in the bar. Then continue the fun with friends.
Avoid flirting with or approaching girls you know well that are not interested or receptive to your flirting. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

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Find a girlfriend from your relationships. There may still be some single girls in those relationships. They can be friends of other friends or your friends. If you find them attractive, let them know of your interest.

Don’t be afraid to show interest.
If you are rejected, be polite. You don’t have to destroy an existing relationship.
Use your feelings and stop chasing the girl who isn’t interested in your pursuit.

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Use a dating app or matchmaking website. This could be your chance to find a girlfriend. The advantage of this service is that the girl you contact is also looking for someone to date. The hardest part is finding someone you’re interested in and they’re interested in you as well.

Don’t let rejection bring you down. There are still a lot of other people on the internet.
Sign up for many online dating services.
Be honest about who you are and how you really want a close relationship.

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Spend time where you can find a girlfriend. Any place where girls hang out and you feel comfortable there is a good place to start. Find a place where you can develop your skills, such as: music, public speaking, or an intimate conversation. Go there and have a good time. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Do not appear nervous or withdraw. When you take the initiative to date a girl, you shouldn’t appear nervous or withdrawn. Women will sense it and will automatically be wary of you. Besides, men who stare and go around looking for women often look very intimidating. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

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Force yourself to talk to girls. When communicating and finding a girl to date, don’t be afraid to chat with people. You need to force yourself to talk to as many girls as possible. This will help you improve your skills and give you a chance to meet more girls. Gradually, you will realize that you are no longer shy. ^{[9] X Research Source}

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Make sure you’re actively dating while you’re single. Don’t tell yourself because you’re shy that you don’t need to date for some reason. This is a trap because if you don’t date, your communication skills will decrease and shyness will increase. Always date when you meet someone you have a crush on.

Don’t be discouraged when you are rejected.
Keep at least a few appointments a month.
Avoid dating more than one person at a time. It’s okay to schedule a few first dates at once, but if you go on a second or third date with someone, hold off on seeing other people until you’ve made up your mind. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Don’t wait until the “perfect” girl shows up. Sometimes, just because we are shy, we often excuse ourselves that we don’t want to meet or date because those girls are not perfect enough as we want. This is a negative excuse. You don’t know what other people are like until you talk to them and approach them and perhaps go on a few dates.

Go out, meet and date girls.
Don’t let the thought of “perfect” stop you from practicing your dating and flirting skills.
You won’t understand other people if you haven’t taken the time to meet them. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Show her you care

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Show your interest verbally. The best way to get over a friendship is to avoid showing it in the first place and show immediate emotional interest. Once you’ve made sure she’s a good match and also interested in you, show interest.

Let her know you want to learn about her.
Compliment her looks and/or intelligence.
Get her phone number and/or give her yours. ^{[12] X Research Source}

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Show interest in action. Acting of interest is a way to push the relationship further and to see if she’ll accept your invitation to hang out. Don’t speculate yourself, though. You’ll quickly find out if she’s interested in you. Please try:

Look her in the eye (at the right time) and smile. This shows concern, respect, and perhaps she will reciprocate.
If your eyes and smile are welcome, a pat on the back, light touch on the hand, and other gentle gestures will demonstrate interest and prompt her to reciprocate it.
If your pursuit is denied or ignored, you should stop. Your persistence will sometimes be misinterpreted as sexual harassment or harassment. ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Talk to her. The best way to make a connection is to talk to her. Find out what the two of you have in common, laugh with her, and tell a story about yourself from the special things she tells about herself. Don’t pretend to be someone else. You think you’ll get her by saying things she likes but eventually she will discover the real you.

Focus on listening to her.
Don’t brag or brag about yourself.
Avoid inappropriate comments about gender, insulting others or copying others to stand out. ^{[14] X Research Source}

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Invite her out. The best way to overcome shyness and get a girlfriend is to date her. Other things will sabotage your goal of having a girlfriend. Try the following:

Tell her you want to invite her to coffee or dinner to get to know her better.
Plan your date somewhere where you can more easily talk and get to know each other. You can go to a coffee shop or go for a walk in the park.
Remember to ask her out as soon as possible. If you wait too long, the two of you will fall into a friendship. ^{[15] X Research Source}

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Call her after the first date. Be sure to call her the next day or the night after your first date. This conversation will push the relationship forward. Plus, it also gives you a chance to ask her out one more time. Please try:

Ask her when you start talking to her.
Compliment her and tell her how happy you were about the previous date.
Say you want to see her again.
Schedule a second date.
Don’t call her immediately after the date unless she calls or texts you or the two of you have planned ahead. Otherwise, you will look frantic and out of control. ^{[16] X Research Source}

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Use a second date to get to know each other better. A second date will be more comfortable since you both already know each other. During this date, you should maintain a fun moment in addition to getting to know each other. Remember, getting to know each other is important to turning a “dating” relationship into a “sticky” relationship. Please try:

Invite her to dinner and a movie on a second date (not just the movie). The two of you get to know each other over dinner and enjoy a movie right after.
Sightseeing around the city. Taking a city tour together (on foot or by car) is a great way to get closer and share some experiences.
Don’t try to speed the relationship up right now – inviting her over to the cinema may not be the right fit.
The third date should also do the same things but be more emotional. ^{[17] X Research Source}

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Stay in touch when the two of you are not together. After a few dates, if you see fit, you should continue to keep in touch. Not necessarily all the time – but it could be every day or every other day.

Make sure that communication is maintained by both sides, not by one side.
If you want to be with her, answer her phone or text.
Use this communication to create a deeper bond and understand each other better.

Advice

Don’t praise a girl too much. Complimenting is a good thing, but if you give it too much, she’ll think you’re awkward or weird.
Don’t tell your friend about secrets or personal information she has told you. If she wants your friends to know, she’ll tell them herself. If not, please understand for yourself that such information is only for you.
Don’t swear in front of her unless you know she doesn’t mind.
Men don’t have to look like Brad Pitt to get a girlfriend. Don’t think you’re ugly because when you look at the boyfriends of pretty girls, you’ll see that not everyone looks like Brad Pitt.
Be honest and forthright. Women will appreciate it if you let them know how you feel.
You are at your best when you are yourself. Don’t try to be someone else.
Remember, women will let you know if they’re interested in you after a short period of time. If you haven’t found someone who likes you, don’t give up.
Don’t flirt too much. Women don’t like that.

Warning

Don’t stalk her! This will scare her and make her lose her feelings for you.
Be patient and don’t turn things upside down!

Steps

Build yourself

Finding girlfriend

Show her you care

Advice

Warning

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