How to French Kiss

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This article was co-written by Eddy Baller. Eddy Baller is a Marriage and Love expert based in Vancouver, British Cpumbia, Canada. Since 2011, Eddy specializes in coaching on confidence building, enhanced social skills, and relationship development. He runs a marriage and love counseling business called Conquer and Win, which is Vancouver’s only BBB-certified dating coaching business. Conquer and Win helps men around the world have the love life they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, POF and so on.

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The French kiss, which you’ve certainly seen in movies or even in real life, is a timeless expression of romantic affection on the tongues of lovers. Regardless of whether you live in France, Paris or Texas, one can learn to kiss like the French. To learn how to French kiss you should refer to Step 1 below.

Table of Contents

Prepare for the kiss

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Keep lips soft. Soft, smooth lips and a slightly moist mouth are ideal for kissing. Before you begin, you should make sure your lips are not dry so that your partner doesn’t get distracted or lose interest in the condition. If you want to soften your lips before kissing, you should try these quick fixes:

Use lip balm. Apply some lipstick on your lips and press your lips together. (If you are a girl and have scented lipstick, even better!) The only thing to note is that you should apply lip balm or lip gloss at least an hour before kissing, so that your partner can feel your soft lips. Not a thick layer of lipstick.
Drink water. Dry lips are a sign of dehydration, so you need to drink a glass or two of water. You will see lips start to smooth within 20-30 minutes.
Lick your lips. If you’re in the mood and don’t have time to prepare, quickly lick your lips and squeeze them together. So the lips are only slightly moist but not too wet. You can subtly lick your lips while making eye contact with your partner.

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Freshen the breath . Definitely bad breath is a no-no when you’re about to kiss someone, whether it’s a French kiss or any other kind of kiss. Since French kissing requires the mouth to be open, fresh breath is especially important . Practice good oral hygiene. If you know how to prepare for a kiss, take the time to brush your teeth or at least rinse your mouth with water.

Always carry mints or mint-flavored gum with you if you anticipate the possibility of kissing someone when out and about. If you don’t want your partner to see, you can suck on mints or chew gum in the toilet, don’t act too obvious that you are about to kiss.
Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant aftertaste, especially garlic, coffee, onions, milk, and corn. If you have to have dinner before the kiss, try to eat more strategically.

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Find the right time. A passionate kiss – especially the first – is the highest emotional level of growing tension and intimacy between two people. Choose the right time to make sure you and your partner are both in the mood and truly immersed in the kiss. You need to have your own space and feel romantic instead of being stressed or distracted. When is it appropriate? That depends on each person’s specific situation, but there are some signs to remember:

There is absolute privacy. Whether you are standing alone on the balcony or sitting in a quiet corner of the park, it is important that the two of you do not worry about being disturbed by others.
Your partner is constantly making gestures such as staring or looking at your lips, standing or sitting closer and closer to you. Regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, your body language will tell you now is the right time to move on.
You are about to end a good date. In the car or in front of the house are quite private places to kiss good night.
It simply feels right. If you really feel like kissing someone, don’t be afraid to come forward. (Prepare yourself for an awkward situation or possible trouble if your partner is not in the mood to kiss)
Ask directly. If you’re not sure if the person is in the mood, suggest this. Better to ask for permission first, even though it’s a bit weird and be able to kiss with confidence, than to miss the chance to kiss your special someone (meaning unintentionally kissing someone they don’t like).

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Eye contact. Stare into the person’s eyes. If you want to make your intentions clearer, look at their lips, then their eyes. You can look them in the eye for a long time, pause for a few seconds, and then look at them again. This is a way to let your partner know that you enjoy being in their presence.

Even girls can look at boys, looking down and up through their eyelashes for added appeal.

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Smile. If you’re really interested in the idea of kissing your partner, show it off! Smiling makes situations lighter and happier, helping your partner feel safe and relieved. Smile gently and honestly, avoiding forced, bright, or overly fake smiles. Slowly his lips turned into a smile. Show your partner how happy you are to be in their presence. Continue making eye contact while smiling, or pause for a few seconds before continuing to look.

You can choose to smile with pursed lips instead of showing your teeth, which shows more friendliness than charm or romance.

Exceed the touch limit. When you’re alone with someone you like, smiling and looking into each other’s eyes, it’s up to you to decide whether to move forward with the kiss without touching, or if you want to break the line of touching before kissing. This means you can touch your partner’s feet with yours, hold hands, put your hands on their knees, stroke their arms or simply give a sign of love. If you’ve kissed this person on the lips before, breaking the touch limit may be more natural, and you should try to touch them before you touch your lips so that it feels natural to both of you.

You can also break the touch limit when you’re in the process of kissing your partner. If the two of you are standing, you should touch their arm, neck, or shoulder as you move towards the kiss. If you’re sitting, you can put a hand on their back.

Move forward to kiss when the time is right. In general, you should act slowly to give the person time to say no, but not so slowly that the time has passed. When you start to see that your partner is ready to move on to the next step, don’t hesitate. Move your body towards them until their heads are only a few centimeters away. That’s when you have to tilt your head to form the best kissing position.

Trail. Moving slowly will create tension for the opponent and help them anticipate. Maintain a pace that gives the person a chance to say yes or no. When your opponent sees you coming, they can move to match you, so moving slowly helps in case you two accidentally bump into each other.

Tilt your head slightly to one side. Not tilting your head when kissing will cause your nose to touch, so you should tilt your head slightly to the right or left. If you see the person going in this direction, choose the opposite direction. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself about being perfect. If the two of you are kissing without tilting your head and causing your nose to touch slightly, then simply adjust your head in a natural reflex to a more comfortable position so that the nose is no longer touching.

Unlike what you see in the movies, it doesn’t have to be like a slow motion. You’ll tilt your head as you approach the person, but not at a snail’s pace, so you don’t have to worry about not having enough time for the perfect kiss.

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Close eyes. Just before exposure you should close your eyes. Kissing with your eyes open is often seen as insincere and fake, while closing your eyes helps you focus more and enjoy what’s happening on your lips. There may be times when it’s tempting to open your eyes to see what your partner looks like when you’re in a rush, but this can really distract you or get you off the hook for a kiss. Closing your eyes also helps you focus on your mouth and immerse yourself in the moment, instead of trying to observe everything that’s happening up close.

You can slowly open your eyes later when the two of you are separating.

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Hold your mouth in a kissing position. Don’t pucker your mouth shut like you did when kissing your grandma because it not only shows hard feelings, but it’s also very difficult for your partner to do a French kiss. On the other hand, completely relaxing your mouth and not moving also shows that you are not interested. Here’s how you fit in:

Slightly puckered lips. Pinch your lips a little so that you feel the muscles around you a little tight, but very light.
Open your mouth slightly. Instead of moving forward boldly to kiss with your mouth wide open, the first time you kiss, just open your lips just enough so that your tongue can slide between them.

Masterfully French Kissing

Glide your lips lightly over your partner’s. First, apply very light pressure so that your lips are only slightly on the person’s lips. This helps both of you enjoy and prepare for the next step instead of immediately forcefully kissing. It’s a sign to your partner that you want more without being too obvious.

Slow action. A series of rushed and superficial kisses can’t be as appealing as a slow kiss with increasing emotion. Act like you have infinite time and the kiss will increase in tempo.

Experience something new. After you’ve been through tongueless kissing for a while and are about to move on to French kissing, you can subtly hint that you’re ready to take the experience to the next level. In general, if this is your first time kissing this person, be a little cautious before proceeding with French kissing, as it may be too soon. Other than that, here are a few things to keep in mind when you want to signal to them that you’re ready for a tongue kiss:

Open your mouth wider. Widespread outreach is a way of inviting them to initiate exploratory tongue contact.
Lock their lips so their bottom lip is between yours. Then gently glide the tip of the tongue over their lower lip. The action is so smooth that contact is less than a second. If they like it, they will interact with you.
Know when to back off. If you’ve tried both of the techniques above and your partner doesn’t respond, simply forget about it and continue with your usual kissing routine. Avoid making a big deal out of it or blaming them.

Continue to develop kissing technique

Mix. Kisses are like snowflakes: no two kisses are exactly alike. Once you’re comfortable with the French kiss, you’ll want to do the same every time, but for the emotion to continue to flourish, you need to resist that urge. You have to find a pleasant and sweet rhythm while at the same time adding variation over time to maintain the appeal. Here’s what you can change:

Pace: Changing the speed of your kiss is a great way to make a difference without scaring your partner. Once you’ve mastered the slow kiss, try kissing faster for a few seconds, so you’ll both get a little suffocated!
Depth: Once you’re more natural with someone you can try deeper kissing. The key to success is to keep the tempo under control. Or if you want the kiss to be more seductive and naughty, you go back to shallow kissing outside.
Pressure: Like a deep kiss, a stronger kiss should only be reserved for situations where you both know each other well and your partner feels comfortable. Use a stronger blade but remember to keep it moving.
Teeth: You should rub your tongue against the back or front of their teeth. They will feel a little ticklish but in return the kiss is transformed into a fresher one. You can also try biting your opponent’s bottom lip lightly . However, not everyone likes to kiss other people’s teeth, so prepare to pull your teeth together!

Use hands. Your hands should be in a polite position, especially for the first kiss, but you don’t have to let them hang out at your sides. Gently touching your partner with your hands (but with respect) can add romance to the kiss and strengthen the bond between two people. Once you’ve made contact with your partner, you can move your hands around from time to time without being too hasty. Here’s how to use your hands during a French kiss:

The rule of thumb is to put your hands on your partner’s hips first, then move it slowly around their back or up to their face and hair.
A sexy move for a first kiss is to gently caress your partner’s shoulder. It shows that you feel comfortable around them.
Hold your partner’s cheeks and neck with your hands.
Or you can choose a more classic way of wrapping your arms around your partner like a hug.

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Read your partner’s body language . Everyone has a slightly different way of kissing and they also enjoy different aspects of a kiss – there’s no such thing as a “right” way to kiss. Good kissing is about giving and taking, so you have to read your partner’s body language and pay attention to clues that you’re doing what they like. The most important thing is to make sure your partner is comfortable with the tempo of your kiss and the cuddles.

Not everyone enjoys being kissed the same way, so one person may like one kiss but another may not. You need to learn how to read signs and tailor the kiss to each person.
If at any point your partner pushes away or becomes uncomfortable, understand that you have to slow down.
Let them kiss you back and move with them as long as you feel comfortable with the way they do it.
Look for cues that indicate their level of interest in a particular type of kiss. If you hear a sigh or groan or they start kissing you back with more intensity, you’re on the right track.

Advice

Be an active lover. If someone gives you a French kiss and you like it, you don’t just sit there, but take an active part in the kiss. Interact with their actions and take turns actively with each person’s tongue and lips. If you’re uncomfortable with any part of the kiss, don’t be afraid to pull back or gently close your lips. Here’s how to let the person know.
There are no rules governing the duration of a kiss. Whenever feeling uncomfortable you can stop kissing; otherwise enjoy it until one of you stops, which is usually both. Some people find the act of sucking on their partner’s lower or upper lip while they’re not kissing is very romantic. You may be inspired to kiss again after you’ve caught your breath.
Saliva will accumulate during French kissing and it affects the romance. You should swallow every now and then without interrupting the kiss. If you can’t swallow while kissing, don’t be afraid to pause for a moment. Smiling when you stop kissing will help reassure your partner that you just want to take a break, not deny their feelings.

Warning

Remember that French kissing can spread some diseases such as genital herpes and infectious mononucleosis.
If you feel uncomfortable or don’t want to take any further steps, you should step back and let them know you want to stop kissing. Rigid. Rejection is normal.
You can still French kiss if one or both of you wear braces, but be careful to prevent the braces from touching. Also, avoid touching your tongue with braces as you can accidentally cut your tongue. See How to kiss with braces.

Steps

Prepare for the kiss

Masterfully French Kissing

Continue to develop kissing technique

Advice

Warning

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